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Posted: 10/21/2004 6:32:47 AM EST
I think this is one of the HARDEST decisions to make. If your child is requiring or required surgury, How do you know if you are making or made the right decision? How do you handle handing over your son or daughter to the surgeons KNOWING that you made the right choice.

Its funny, most surgeries today are safe and your odds are so in your favor that if it were Vegas and a gambling situation, you would be a fool not to take those odds. But when it comes to your child, you are apprehensive.

Any of you ever have to face this situation before? What happened?
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 6:35:00 AM EST
sometimes you got to roll the dice bro.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 6:50:34 AM EST

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
I think this is one of the HARDEST decisions to make. If your child is requiring or required surgury, How do you know if you are making or made the right decision? How do you handle handing over your son or daughter to the surgeons KNOWING that you made the right choice.

Its funny, most surgeries today are safe and your odds are so in your favor that if it were Vegas and a gambling situation, you would be a fool not to take those odds. But when it comes to your child, you are apprehensive.

Any of you ever have to face this situation before? What happened?



Anytime you go under, there's no guarentee you're coming back. My oldest son (6 years) had to have surgery. What did I do? I prayed.

I prayed for my son, I prayed for my family, I prayed for the skill of the doctors and nurses. There are some things in life that let you know how little control you actually have, and surgery is one of those events.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 6:56:11 AM EST
Yep. Both my daughters had surgery when they were babies. Nothing is tougher than handing your baby to a nurse and watching them walk through the doors into pre-op. My oldest daughter, now 14, was a surgery candidate very recently for two separate things. We wound up not electing surgery and she is fine. Thank God.

Before you do it - Get a second third fourth and fifth opinion. Pray HARD.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 7:46:55 AM EST
My younger two daughters both had surgery when they were about a year old. The procedure itself was simple, but in each case it required that they were put under, so that by itself was the serious part.

It's hard seeing them so small as they go under. The first time we were worried, got extra opinions, prayed, prayed, prayed some more, stayed right outside the door while they did the procedure, then afterward, she woke up just fine and was a little groggy and we just quietly held her. The second time with our youngest daughter, basically the same thing, though we had been through it once, before. My daughter woke up utterly P.O.'d...hehe.. and cried for awhile as we tried to sooth her..she finally calmed down.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 8:03:04 AM EST

Originally Posted By Rabbit9:

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
I think this is one of the HARDEST decisions to make. If your child is requiring or required surgury, How do you know if you are making or made the right decision? How do you handle handing over your son or daughter to the surgeons KNOWING that you made the right choice.

Its funny, most surgeries today are safe and your odds are so in your favor that if it were Vegas and a gambling situation, you would be a fool not to take those odds. But when it comes to your child, you are apprehensive.

Any of you ever have to face this situation before? What happened?



Anytime you go under, there's no guarentee you're coming back. My oldest son (6 years) had to have surgery. What did I do? I prayed.

I prayed for my son, I prayed for my family, I prayed for the skill of the doctors and nurses. There are some things in life that let you know how little control you actually have, and surgery is one of those events.



Ditto the above. My son had to have tubes in his ears when he was 2. It was quick, but nerve racking.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 8:05:39 AM EST
Prayer is the key! I had little choice with my daughter's acute appendicitis.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 8:57:35 AM EST
My daughter had ear tubes put in when she was about 9 months old. Granted it is a minor proceudure but it requires anesthesia. As someone here said earlier - there's nothing harder than watching the doctors take your crying baby into the OR. We prayed like crazy that we made the right decision and prayed while she was under. My daughter came out screaming for about the next hour, but then calmed down and had no lasting effects from the surgery.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 9:12:11 AM EST
My 2 year old daughter had open heart surgery exactly 2 weeks ago today. Our options were to not go ahead with the surgery and she would live a fairly normal life, but could expect a shorter life span by as much as 30 years or go ahead with the surgery and she could live a perfectly normal life. After hearing this same opinion from several different doctors and weighing the risk vs. the reward we decided surgery was the best option and thanks to a higher power everything went great and she is well on her way to recovery. Here's a picture of her with her big sister:

http://home.earthlink.net/~ksbhjohnson/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/bhfountain1.jpg


Link Posted: 10/21/2004 9:22:38 AM EST
When my oldest son was 1 1/2, he had to have surgery on his right knee. It broke my heart to see them wheeling him into the surgery suite. Afterwards, he would lay on the hospital bed with tubes and wires all over him, and just smile really big that Mommy and Daddy were right there with him. I slept in a chair next to him, with my hand touching his arm, for 5 nights. My wife was VERY pregnant with our second son at the time, and couldn't stay in the hospital.

Pray a lot, and love your child a lot. It is scary, but you will both get along. Try to be as objective as possible about the arguments both for and against surgery (if there are any). Also, be assertive with the doctors and make them answer all of your questions. Be an informed consumer of health care. Too many people are nervous about asking questions of physicians, or of QUESTIONING physicians. Get as much information as you can before you make a decision. Good luck.

mwhguns -- pretty daughters!! I wish your family better health, and full recovery.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 9:28:20 AM EST
Tough situation no doubt. Here's my perspective as a father of three boys, and as a surgeon in NYC. Risk benefit analysis goes out the window when your talking about a kid, especially YOUR kid. My patients often ask me would you do this if it were your child, and there were a few times i said no, lets wait, but the overwhelming amount of situations, it needs to get done. Seek at least one other surgical opinion. Have the surgeon tell you about every possible complication. Have a pediatrician give your kid a good checkup to make sure they can deal with the anesthesia. Make sure you give the surgeon an honest answer to every medical history question they ask, even if you don't think it's important. Most important, find a surgeon who you feel good about. They teach us squat about "bedside manner" in school, and i've learned you either have it or you don't, so make sure you like your doc. As an aside about risk, anesthetic mortalities are about 1 in 250,000 in the usa according to the most recent studies, so i think that your typical young person should do pretty well. BTW, you didn't say anything about the diagnosis, so i'm sorry i can't be more specific. Good luck.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 9:31:12 AM EST
mwhguns, she's a cutie (theyboth are) It must have been hard.

Doc, both my sons have had tubes, one had tonsils and adnoids, too. Hardest thing I've done to date was to hold them while they were put under-twice each! Broke my frigging heart each time. Luckily, my F in L was head of the anesthesia department at the time, and had his future replacement administer the anesthesia. That gave me some level of comfort. But even my FIL was antsy, I know he's lost people on the table, and that is very hard on him.

However, most kids have no trouble with it at all. An adverse reaction to modern anesthesia is very very uncommon. Most of my anxiety was due to that miniscule possibility-the boys were most likely statistically more emperiled on the commute to school each day.

Good luck to your young one.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 9:54:57 AM EST
Yes . My daughter with my exwife had a herniated belly button . I was all for the surgury to fix it and was told , Your oppinon does not matter .

In the end she got the surgury .


Do stitches count?
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 10:00:56 AM EST
At 5 months old, my son had to have minor surgery.
Yes, we were concerned, as any good parent would be, but the Dr. made sure to explain the procedure in detail, and answered all our questions.

Make sure you have a good, experienced Dr. who hs performed that particular surgery enough to be comfortable doing it, and to know what to do in the event any complications arise.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 11:00:50 AM EST

Originally Posted By mywifehatesguns:

home.earthlink.net/~ksbhjohnson/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/bhfountain1.jpg





Cute kids...you must be a very proud dad!
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 1:15:28 PM EST

Originally Posted By AR_Shorty:

Originally Posted By mywifehatesguns:

home.earthlink.net/~ksbhjohnson/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/bhfountain1.jpg





Cute kids...you must be a very proud dad!



+1!
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 1:22:09 PM EST
My older daughter had a mucoseal which is like a blister on the inside of her lip. If she was an adult it would be no bigger, just a local anesthesia and scrap it off. But, because she was a child the doctor wanted to do the procedure under general anesthesia. Both me and my wife are both nurses and we know the risks of general anesthesia and intubation. We were against it from the outset. After talking with some friends we have at our HMO; and them saying that the general will be safer and that they would work in the recovery room with our daughter that morning ; we finally agreed to general anesthesia. We were still real nervous but like they said everything worked out fine.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 5:23:30 PM EST

Originally Posted By fish223:
BTW, you didn't say anything about the diagnosis, so i'm sorry i can't be more specific. Good luck.



Heart. They need to close a VSD (Ventricular Septal Defect) and widen a Pulmanary Stenosis. She also has transposition of the great arteries with congenitally corrected transposition and Dextrocardia.

She is a Ford with a Chevy engine. Not supposed to be that way but it works. This is also why I am so apprehensive. She looks great and functions normal. The only symptom that she has is that when she physically exerts herself (runs for a while) she coughs a lot.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 5:38:03 PM EST
my daughter had 2 eye surgeries at 9 months old. and she will nedd another round when she is older. It was a nerve wracking experiene, but we have great confindance in her surgeon
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 5:47:52 PM EST
Yep. My 3 year old had an 80% amputation of one of her fingers. I work w and know the docs that worked on her.
They put it back on and it works great today, one year later. (Now if she could just keep it out of her nose!)
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 5:55:51 PM EST
Frige, you and your family are in my prayers tonight. I will ask the man upstairs to guide you. That's all I can say except god bless, good luck. I have two toddlers myself.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 6:08:44 PM EST

Originally Posted By stator:
Frige, you and your family are in my prayers tonight. I will ask the man upstairs to guide you. That's all I can say except god bless, good luck. I have two toddlers myself.



Thanks Stator... you are awesome. Amazing how before you have kids you THINK you know what is important in life. Once you have kids. You realize how wrong you were. She is my world and so, this is why this decision is so hard.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 6:13:30 PM EST
When our youngest boy was about two, it was obvious he had a hernia. It is probably the most common type where the opening in the abominal wall through which the testes descend didn't close up. They put him under, did the surgery, and he was pretty much full speed in a matter of days. Today he is 19 and a fine young man. He and his sister are the greatest earthly gifts that God could have ever given me.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 10:52:14 PM EST
I know where you are at with this, and know that we will be there for you.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 11:49:08 PM EST

Originally Posted By DrFrige:

Originally Posted By fish223:
BTW, you didn't say anything about the diagnosis, so i'm sorry i can't be more specific. Good luck.



Heart. They need to close a VSD (Ventricular Septal Defect) and widen a Pulmanary Stenosis. She also has transposition of the great arteries with congenitally corrected transposition and Dextrocardia.

She is a Ford with a Chevy engine. Not supposed to be that way but it works. This is also why I am so apprehensive. She looks great and functions normal. The only symptom that she has is that when she physically exerts herself (runs for a while) she coughs a lot.



I just saw this same thing on the discovery health channel last weekend.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 11:57:04 PM EST

Originally Posted By Synister1:

Originally Posted By DrFrige:

Originally Posted By fish223:
BTW, you didn't say anything about the diagnosis, so i'm sorry i can't be more specific. Good luck.



Heart. They need to close a VSD (Ventricular Septal Defect) and widen a Pulmanary Stenosis. She also has transposition of the great arteries with congenitally corrected transposition and Dextrocardia.

She is a Ford with a Chevy engine. Not supposed to be that way but it works. This is also why I am so apprehensive. She looks great and functions normal. The only symptom that she has is that when she physically exerts herself (runs for a while) she coughs a lot.



I just saw this same thing on the discovery health channel last weekend.



WOAH! so did I... the little 2 year old chinese kid?? That kid had Tetrology of Fallot. ALMOST like what my kid has. Except TOF has one extra defect. I think an overriding aorta... I have to ask my wife... she is the smart one. I cant tell you how much that episode calmed me down a little.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 11:59:01 PM EST

Originally Posted By hk940:
sometimes you got to roll the dice bro.




Yup. Sit quietly and pray for direction, but sometimes its just a roll of the dice.


SGtar15
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 12:30:43 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/22/2004 12:31:35 AM EST by chrome1]

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
I think this is one of the HARDEST decisions to make. If your child is requiring or required surgury, How do you know if you are making or made the right decision? How do you handle handing over your son or daughter to the surgeons KNOWING that you made the right choice.




It is never something that a real Parent doesn’t agonize over . Even if it's a simple
procedure . I've only had to make the call twice and they were easy ones .
Tonsils and Appendix .

I researched everything I could on the subjects , got 2nd opinions then weighed
the option of subjecting my child to pain/fear/danger of the surgery , against the pain/fear/danger of the ailment .
I chose the surgery in both cases because it had the best success rate and subjected my child to the shortest Recovery/Treatment .

I'm not a religious person , but your family and your child will be in my thoughts and hopes for nothing but the best .
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 1:01:25 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 4:22:26 AM EST

Originally Posted By DrFrige:

Originally Posted By fish223:
BTW, you didn't say anything about the diagnosis, so i'm sorry i can't be more specific. Good luck.



Heart. They need to close a VSD (Ventricular Septal Defect) and widen a Pulmanary Stenosis. She also has transposition of the great arteries with congenitally corrected transposition and Dextrocardia.

She is a Ford with a Chevy engine. Not supposed to be that way but it works. This is also why I am so apprehensive. She looks great and functions normal. The only symptom that she has is that when she physically exerts herself (runs for a while) she coughs a lot.




This is exactly what my daughter had to have done (see my earlier post). She was born with an ASD, VSD, and mitral regurgitation. Got everything fixed during the surgery just 2 weeks ago. It is really amazing what doctors can do these days. I will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers. I know that it is very hard to deal with, but if you have faith in your doctor, you will be amazed at what they are able to do.

Link Posted: 10/22/2004 4:23:20 AM EST

Originally Posted By AR_Shorty:

Originally Posted By mywifehatesguns:

home.earthlink.net/~ksbhjohnson/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/bhfountain1.jpg





Cute kids...you must be a very proud dad!
hr


Word cannot even describe. Thanks!!
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 5:03:37 AM EST
DrFrige: Sounds like the decision is already made, but your just having a hard time with the reality. Don't blame you one bit. For what it's worth, you are doing the right thing with the surgery. If her VSD hasn't closed by age one, it probably won't, and her syptoms will worsen as she ages due to cardiomyopathy and hypertension. Same goes for the pulmonary stenosis, which if she didn't have the VSD might be treated with balloon valvuloplasty with a catheter. If she is going to have the VSD done, they will do both at the same time. The Dextrocardia is a non-issue, except that they had better operate on the correct side, and in the future her ekg's will need to be adjusted appropriately. If the vessel transposition is congenitally corrected, observation only for the future. Also, she will require antibiotics before any potentailly invasive procedure like dentistry due to the pulmonary valve issue. I'm sure you already know all this, but the bottom line is keep the faith, she'll do great, and someday you will look back at all this and realize there really wasn't a choice to be made. Best of luck, your family will stay in my prayers, and please let us know how when its all done. Regards, Fish
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 5:20:20 AM EST

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
I think this is one of the HARDEST decisions to make. If your child is requiring or required surgury, How do you know if you are making or made the right decision? How do you handle handing over your son or daughter to the surgeons KNOWING that you made the right choice.

Its funny, most surgeries today are safe and your odds are so in your favor that if it were Vegas and a gambling situation, you would be a fool not to take those odds. But when it comes to your child, you are apprehensive.

Any of you ever have to face this situation before? What happened?



DrFrige,

My son was born 3 months early. He weighted 2lbs 1oz at birth. He spent 8 weeks in the hospital before we could bring him home. Then just a few months later, he had to have surgery. He had two hernias that were pushing in sensitive areas that made him cry. When he cried, it hurt more. It would literally take hours to calm him back down. Plus expending all that energy crying, didn't help him gain weight. It was a very difficult time for our family.

We decided to have the surgery. It was of course a very trying time, but he came through it with flying colors. I have now had the joy of my life for 3 1/2 years. He is completely normal and without pain.

If your child needs surgery, get a second opinion. If both Drs agree, find the best Dr you can. And pray to God to guide the surgeon's hands.

I know this is a tough decision, but try and think 3, 5, or 10 years down the line to make the decision.
Link Posted: 10/22/2004 5:37:04 AM EST

Originally Posted By Q3131A:

If your child needs surgery, get a second opinion. If both Drs agree, find the best Dr you can. And pray to God to guide the surgeon's hands.




+1. Prayer and faith have their place but before you fall back on them, do everything in your power to provide your child with the BEST doctors you have access to.
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