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Posted: 12/19/2010 4:47:33 AM EST


Comrades, after the glorious Russia's next gen T-95 main battle tank, i present you Soviet laser tanks.






"In the late 70s and the the beginning of 80s of the XX century, when worlds "democratic" community dreamed under euphoria of Hollywood's «Star wars», at the same time behind the "Iron Curtain", under high secrecy, Soviet "evil empire" had made hard work to embody Hollywood's dreams into a reality. The Soviet cosmonauts flied to space, armed with laser pistols, laser-equiped battle space stations and space vehicles were engineered. And on the Mother Earth, Soviet «laser tanks» rolled out.



















































































































 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 4:48:29 AM EST
[#1]
If I was godzilla...I would be worried.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 4:55:45 AM EST
[#2]



Quoted:


If I was godzilla...I would be worried.


It was able to burn Godzilla's eyes. Seriously.



 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:09:42 AM EST
[#3]
I hate backwards upside down fucked up languages.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:10:46 AM EST
[#4]
Quoted:
I hate backwards upside down fucked up languages.


Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:12:14 AM EST
[#5]
Sweet.  Probably makes a great pop corn popper!
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:13:26 AM EST
[#6]
Or laser show for a rock concert


Quoted:
Sweet.  Probably makes a great pop corn popper!


Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:14:42 AM EST
[#7]
Too much vodka zampolit.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:15:51 AM EST
[#8]
I like that big fucker on the bottom what is it?
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:16:51 AM EST
[#9]




Quoted:

I like that big fucker on the bottom what is it?




Rosie O'Donnell.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:16:53 AM EST
[#10]



Quoted:


I like that big fucker on the bottom what is it?






 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:19:46 AM EST
[#11]
Quoted:
I like that big fucker on the bottom what is it?


Its a big fuckin lazer tank.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:22:44 AM EST
[#12]
Visible laser beams? I'd have thought that a weapons grade laser would be UV. Nothing says shoot me like a nice visible beam pointing back at the source.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:23:26 AM EST
[#13]
Why is all the Russian shit rusting, flaking, and crumbling to piece?
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:24:09 AM EST
[#14]
It's a frickin' laser.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:26:21 AM EST
[#15]
So they built one of these?



They should have used Chinese technology instead of Russian technology - they wouldn't have needed something as big as a tank to move it around.

Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:27:34 AM EST
[#16]




Quoted:

So they built one of these?



http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/The-Skin-Melting-Spyder-III-Pro-Arctic-Laser-Is-a-Real-Life-Lightsaber.jpeg



They should have used Chinese technology instead of Russian technology - they wouldn't have needed something as big as a tank to move it around.







My dentist has lasers.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:27:44 AM EST
[#17]
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:35:50 AM EST
[#18]




Quoted:


Visible laser beams? I'd have thought that a weapons grade laser would be UV. Nothing says shoot me like a nice visible beam pointing back at the source.
It's more likely does not needs long duration of laser beam influence.





Quoted:


Why is all the Russian shit rusting, flaking, and crumbling to piece?



You question is wrong comrade.







Quoted:


So they built one of these?



http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/The-Skin-Melting-Spyder-III-Pro-Arctic-Laser-Is-a-Real-Life-Lightsaber.jpeg



They should have used Chinese technology instead of Russian technology - they wouldn't have needed something as big as a tank to move it around.



Stolen Russian technology, more likely. You should know Chinese and their "ingenuity".













 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:38:25 AM EST
[#19]
tanks with friggin lasers on top!


who'da thunk?
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:39:22 AM EST
[#20]
I don't know shit about lasers, but I know we have on that takes up an entire c130 or some other huge airplane just to be powerful enough to do anything...but you guys built one tank sized 50 years ago and it was awesome?
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:40:28 AM EST
[#21]



Quoted:


Opulence, I has it,



When i see the laser tank... i jump in it








 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:41:24 AM EST
[#22]
Let's get to the important questions:  Do they make "pew pew pew" sounds when fired?
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:44:28 AM EST
[#23]



Quoted:


Let's get to the important questions:  Do they make "pew pew pew" sounds when fired?


This!



 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:50:52 AM EST
[#24]
The US version was much sexier.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:52:46 AM EST
[#25]
Quoted:

Quoted:
Opulence, I has it,

When i see the laser tank... i jump in it



 


Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:53:00 AM EST
[#26]



Quoted:





Quoted:

Opulence, I has it,



When i see the laser tank... i jump in it








 
Well played.





 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:53:26 AM EST
[#27]
Quoted:
The US version was much sexier.


We got nothing and will be developeing nothing.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:53:39 AM EST
[#28]





Quoted:



Let's get to the important questions:  Do they make "pew pew pew" sounds when fired?





Too much "Star wars" myths and dreams, comrade.








I didn't heard this one, but i think it sounds is not louder than switch on of the powerful projector.






 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:56:41 AM EST
[#29]
Quoted:

Quoted:
Let's get to the important questions:  Do they make "pew pew pew" sounds when fired?

Too much "Star wars" myths, comrade.


I didn't heard this one, but i think it sounds is not louder than switch on of the powerful projector.

 


Silent weapons do not instill fear into the hearts of the enemy.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:58:29 AM EST
[#30]
Quoted:

Quoted:
Visible laser beams? I'd have thought that a weapons grade laser would be UV. Nothing says shoot me like a nice visible beam pointing back at the source.
It's more likely does not needs long duration of laser beam influence.


Quoted:
Why is all the Russian shit rusting, flaking, and crumbling to piece?


You question is wrong comrade.




Quoted:
So they built one of these?

http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/The-Skin-Melting-Spyder-III-Pro-Arctic-Laser-Is-a-Real-Life-Lightsaber.jpeg

They should have used Chinese technology instead of Russian technology - they wouldn't have needed something as big as a tank to move it around.

Stolen Russian technology, more likely. You should know Chinese and their "ingenuity".






 


Gotta admit, the man has a point.. lol
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 5:58:44 AM EST
[#31]



Quoted:



Quoted:




Quoted:

Let's get to the important questions:  Do they make "pew pew pew" sounds when fired?



Too much "Star wars" myths, comrade.






I didn't heard this one, but i think it sounds is not louder than switch on of the powerful projector.



 




Silent weapons do not instill fear into the hearts of the enemy.
The fuck if they don't.





 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:00:03 AM EST
[#32]
Quoted:

Quoted:
Opulence, I has it,

When i see the laser tank... i jump in it



 


Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:00:40 AM EST
[#33]
Get back to me when the Russkies attach lasers to sharks! and Putin is riding them into battle.


Something like this, but a laser attached to the sharks head

Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:02:51 AM EST
[#34]
That's a much more efficient way to set airshow crowds on fire.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:04:38 AM EST
[#35]
Quoted:

Quoted:
Let's get to the important questions:  Do they make "pew pew pew" sounds when fired?

Too much "Star wars" myths and dreams, comrade.


I didn't heard this one, but i think it sounds is not louder than switch on of the powerful projector.

 


Dude you type with a Russian accent
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:05:12 AM EST
[#36]
Quoted:
That's a much more efficient way to set airshow crowds on fire.








Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:07:58 AM EST
[#37]



Quoted:

Stolen Russian technology, more likely. You should know Chinese and their "ingenuity".

 


Wow, pot meet kettle.



btw, I've seen them deployed.




 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:10:23 AM EST
[#38]
The japs have been killing mythical creatures with these for years!



We've been fielding them to our special operations guys for years as well:
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:17:59 AM EST
[#39]
Quoted:
Visible laser beams? I'd have thought that a weapons grade laser would be UV. Nothing says shoot me like a nice visible beam pointing back at the source.


I wonder if the color wasn't added to the photo for effect (what we'd call "photoshopped" these days).

No idea what the capabilities of that one are, but the visible spectrum has been used for some stuff at Kirtland.



Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:19:43 AM EST
[#40]
Quoted:
Quoted:

Quoted:
Let's get to the important questions:  Do they make "pew pew pew" sounds when fired?

Too much "Star wars" myths and dreams, comrade.


I didn't heard this one, but i think it sounds is not louder than switch on of the powerful projector.

 


Dude you type with a Russian accent


I swear, every time I read his posts I read it with a Russian accent.
Oh Primorsky, one more thing, do you have the pole smoking queer serving openly in the military services of Mother Russia?
If so tell me about it.
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:20:00 AM EST
[#41]



Ukrainian air show disaster pics (incident due pilot's error and poorly air show organization) are not so funny comrade...















Quoted:


The japs have been killing mythical creatures with these for years!

http://www.gvsdestoroyah.dulcemichaelanya.com/KunDeath.jpg






Yeah, with their mythical lasers.













We've been fielding them to our special operations guys for years as well:

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_S1Gu2hX9S6c/TAh1rYuvc3I/AAAAAAAAVmI/0l41IxWbc-o/s800/070403-F-3293G-004.jpg


What movie its from?















 
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:20:57 AM EST
[#42]

Original Lasermax green?
Link Posted: 12/19/2010 6:28:30 AM EST
[#43]
Ok ok,

This one is real:





As is this one:
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