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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 10/7/2005 5:58:33 AM EDT
A reliable source out of south Florida reports that the ultra-militant, fanatical, terrorist group Al Quada has encountered hard times recently in meeting its recruitment goals. Much like the U.S. military, recruiters are bitching that it's getting too hard to find fresh replacements.

"Being the nature of the beast, finding new replacements to blow themselves up in suicide attacks, is becoming harder and harder." reports Mustaffa El Barfo, an Al Quada operative.

El Barfo said in an interview that Al Quada is now in Haiti where finding replacements will be much easier. Known for its VooDoo and the undead (zombies), Haiti is the perfect place to find the new batch of suicide killing machines. El Barfo said that the undead are much easier to work with. "They don't have needs such as food, water, or other creature comforts... and they work for no pay" said El Barfo.

Training the undead has proven to be somewhat problematic though, El Barfo reports. He said that really all they can do is put an explosive belt on them; send them in a building they want blown up; and then, by remote control, blow up the zombie. "They are not so smart" El Barfo was quoted as saying, "But they serve their purpose".

The Al Quada operative said that there really is a never ending supply of zombies in Haiti and that once they have blown up all the undead from there, they will just move on to the next third world nation and utilize their [undead] dead bodies to carry out operations around the world.

Link Posted: 10/7/2005 6:01:33 AM EDT

Find a new source.

Link Posted: 10/7/2005 6:03:16 AM EDT
I hate Zombies
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 6:05:03 AM EDT
I always enjoy lawdog's reports
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 6:08:05 AM EDT
The proper tactical term is Romeo Lima Foxtrot (as in Reanimated Life Form).
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