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Posted: 10/25/2016 9:02:13 AM EDT
So fiancé averages pretty poor sleep throughout the week. She will wake up in the middle of the night (bad dream typically) and then have a hard time falling back asleep.
Yeah, it's her problem... but it's really our problem.
What sort of things have you all found to work for helping you or your SO sleep through the night?

Has anyone tried hypnosis? Is that just some voodoo-level-crap or is it legit?
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 9:04:34 AM EDT
[#1]
Working out and wearing herself down.

Link Posted: 10/25/2016 10:51:58 AM EDT
[#2]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Working out and wearing herself down.

View Quote


she does that almost every day

we have also tried:
- non-caffeinated tea or other relaxing drinks before bed
- making a list of things she needs to do
- other things... naturally
- stretching and "meditating"
these all help her fall asleep, but not stay asleep.

A big lingering issue is from about 10 years ago when she was going to school in Charlottesville.
She awoke one night to see a voyeur in her room. Didn't touch her or her roommates, just creepily staring.
The guy was later caught after repeatedly breaking into women's dorms and other off-campus housing, but strong paranoia of vulnerability when she is asleep still gets to her.
Having me home and now our female GSD has helped, but not enough.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 10:53:20 AM EDT
[#3]
EJECT!
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 10:53:30 AM EDT
[#4]
My wife used to take Melatonin.  I guess that worked pretty well for her.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:03:16 AM EDT
[#5]
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:05:35 AM EDT
[#6]
Has she ever received counseling for her traumatic experience?

Has she considered taking a martial art? Maybe the knowledge she could defend herself if ever found in that situation again would ease her troubled mind.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:09:20 AM EDT
[#7]
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:10:08 AM EDT
[#8]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
My sleep improved when I started using a white noise generator. My wife was skeptical at first but now agrees that it helps her as well. It's not perfect but every little bit helps and it's keeping me away from any kind of sleep meds. YMMV.
View Quote


I have a small oscillating fan in the corner for that same reason
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:11:29 AM EDT
[#9]
Benadryl

It's it PM part of Advil PM.

The trick is to find what dose makes you sleep without making you feel groggy the next day.

Google it.

If I take two 25mg generic Benadryls about 9 pm - I sleep like the dead and am able to wake up feeling fine at 6 am.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:12:04 AM EDT
[#10]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Has she ever received counseling for her traumatic experience?

Has she considered taking a martial art? Maybe the knowledge she could defend herself if ever found in that situation again would ease her troubled mind.
View Quote


She is at ease with me being there and the dog serving as an alarm if anything isn't right.
She isn't "interested" in shooting but does want to at least learn how to adequately use the firearms kept in the bedroom. Maybe that will help to an extent.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:12:48 AM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Benadryl

It's it PM part of Advil PM.

The trick is to find what dose makes you sleep without making you feel groggy the next day.

Google it.

If I take two 25mg generic Benadryls about 9 pm - I sleep like the dead and am able to wake up feeling fine at 6 am.
View Quote


She has tried it, but wakes up still feeling drunk. Maybe we just need to identify the right amount.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:12:57 AM EDT
[#12]
In for my insomnia
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:17:46 AM EDT
[#13]
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:19:18 AM EDT
[#14]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


She is at ease with me being there and the dog serving as an alarm if anything isn't right.
She isn't "interested" in shooting but does want to at least learn how to adequately use the firearms kept in the bedroom. Maybe that will help to an extent.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Has she ever received counseling for her traumatic experience?

Has she considered taking a martial art? Maybe the knowledge she could defend herself if ever found in that situation again would ease her troubled mind.


She is at ease with me being there and the dog serving as an alarm if anything isn't right.
She isn't "interested" in shooting but does want to at least learn how to adequately use the firearms kept in the bedroom. Maybe that will help to an extent.


If she's waking up from nightmares because of trauma, then she isn't "at ease".

If you do go the counseling route, find someone who specializes in trauma counseling. It is totally different from other types of psychology. Ask the counselor how long, generally, until patients are done with counseling. You should get an answer of, it varies on the individual but generally X years or months. (This is to help weed out the counselors that eternally collect fees without ever really helping.)
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:21:00 AM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


She has tried it, but wakes up still feeling drunk. Maybe we just need to identify the right amount.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Benadryl

It's it PM part of Advil PM.

The trick is to find what dose makes you sleep without making you feel groggy the next day.

Google it.

If I take two 25mg generic Benadryls about 9 pm - I sleep like the dead and am able to wake up feeling fine at 6 am.


She has tried it, but wakes up still feeling drunk. Maybe we just need to identify the right amount.


Or take it earlier.

Everyone metabolizes drugs differently.

That's the part you have to figure out. How much and when to take it.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:24:18 AM EDT
[#16]
Exercise during the day not right before sleep.
A walk an hour or two before bedtime
Hot bath
Warm milk
Glass of wine
Camomile tea
Listen to relaxing music
Watch only light hearted TV
Read a book
Benedryl
Ambien
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:25:03 AM EDT
[#17]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Or take it earlier.

Everyone metabolizes drugs differently.

That's the part you have to figure out. How much and when to take it.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Benadryl

It's it PM part of Advil PM.

The trick is to find what dose makes you sleep without making you feel groggy the next day.

Google it.

If I take two 25mg generic Benadryls about 9 pm - I sleep like the dead and am able to wake up feeling fine at 6 am.


She has tried it, but wakes up still feeling drunk. Maybe we just need to identify the right amount.


Or take it earlier.

Everyone metabolizes drugs differently.

That's the part you have to figure out. How much and when to take it.


Benedryl from Walmart seems to wear off in about 4 hours....Keep a couple next to the bed with a glass of water
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:27:25 AM EDT
[#18]
How are here levels? Thyroid problems can interfere with sleep.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:44:28 AM EDT
[#19]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


If she's waking up from nightmares because of trauma, then she isn't "at ease".

If you do go the counseling route, find someone who specializes in trauma counseling. It is totally different from other types of psychology. Ask the counselor how long, generally, until patients are done with counseling. You should get an answer of, it varies on the individual but generally X years or months. (This is to help weed out the counselors that eternally collect fees without ever really helping.)
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Has she ever received counseling for her traumatic experience?

Has she considered taking a martial art? Maybe the knowledge she could defend herself if ever found in that situation again would ease her troubled mind.


She is at ease with me being there and the dog serving as an alarm if anything isn't right.
She isn't "interested" in shooting but does want to at least learn how to adequately use the firearms kept in the bedroom. Maybe that will help to an extent.


If she's waking up from nightmares because of trauma, then she isn't "at ease".

If you do go the counseling route, find someone who specializes in trauma counseling. It is totally different from other types of psychology. Ask the counselor how long, generally, until patients are done with counseling. You should get an answer of, it varies on the individual but generally X years or months. (This is to help weed out the counselors that eternally collect fees without ever really helping.)


It isn't always bad dreams of an intruder. Most of the time it is something like "I dreamed my mother died last night" ... stuff like that.

Otherwise she is in great health.

Thanks for all the help guys
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:45:06 AM EDT
[#20]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Or take it earlier.

Everyone metabolizes drugs differently.

That's the part you have to figure out. How much and when to take it.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Benadryl

It's it PM part of Advil PM.

The trick is to find what dose makes you sleep without making you feel groggy the next day.

Google it.

If I take two 25mg generic Benadryls about 9 pm - I sleep like the dead and am able to wake up feeling fine at 6 am.


She has tried it, but wakes up still feeling drunk. Maybe we just need to identify the right amount.


Or take it earlier.

Everyone metabolizes drugs differently.

That's the part you have to figure out. How much and when to take it.


Makes sense. Maybe we will make a log book to chart out best results for dosage and time.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:46:32 AM EDT
[#21]
I don't have a problem going to sleep but my problem was/is staying asleep for more than 2 hours. I have had sleep issues for over 20 years and have went to my Dr. several times for this over the years. About 6 years ago my Dr. prescribed Ambien and I slept well but after about 3 weeks I got so paranoid that I could hardly leave the house. I stopped taking the Ambien and it was the worst 7-10 days of my life but fortunately the effects went away and got back to normal (with little sleep again). Some people say that Ambien is a wonder drug and it works great for them but others like me have severe reactions to it.
After the Ambien fiasco I started taking 2-10 milligram Melatonin tablets and 2-25 mg Diphenhydramine tablets (over the counter/Wal Mart sleep aid) and this works for me. My Dr. knows that I take this and she doesn't have a problem with it...I get my bloodwork done every year and everything looks normal.

I seem to have more of a problem this time of the year when we start losing more daylight hours
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:48:23 AM EDT
[#22]
More sex.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:49:49 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted:
So fiancé averages pretty poor sleep throughout the week. She will wake up in the middle of the night (bad dream typically) and then have a hard time falling back asleep.
Yeah, it's her problem... but it's really our problem.
What sort of things have you all found to work for helping you or your SO sleep through the night?

Has anyone tried hypnosis? Is that just some voodoo-level-crap or is it legit?
View Quote


YouTube had a warehouse full of Ambient recordings of rainfall, water lapping on the shore, and other peaceful sounds that would even make Hillary Clinton actually start lightening up.  Well, maybe not her, but you get the point.  A set of headphones and an iPad will put her right to sleep.  No drugs, no hypnosis, no sleep counseling bills.

Plus there's a collection of ASMR recordings on YouTube which are peaceful role-play scenarios.  Going to a spa, a mother reading her child a bedtime story, etc.  There's one recording of a chick taking me by the hand and showing me her Japanese garden I have yet to stay awake all the way through.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:59:41 AM EDT
[#24]
Recommend no screen time before bed too.  No phone, no computer, no TV.  

That being said, I suck at it and most of my books are in my Kindle app...    A different pillow has actually seemed to help a lot.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 11:59:53 AM EDT
[#25]
OP, I had the same issues...and Kava has been a Godsend.  It truly is 'nature's xanax'.  Look it up, a natural, drug-free, non habit forming way of unwinding and chilling out.  I wake up well rested and ready to go in the AM.  Kava did get a bad wrap in the 90s/early 2000s with some connection to liver toxicity, but that was due to some shady companies using stem/leaf components of the plant for pills (ONLY buy ground root).

Pills don't work, get ground root or tea.  Again, you want ROOT or ROOT EXTRACT ONLY!  And don't consume with xanax, valium, alcohol, etc.  The site below, BKH, uses noble Kava...as do most legit suppliers.
https://www.amazon.com/Yogi-Herbal-Kava-Stress-Relief/dp/B0009F3QKW
https://www.bulakavahouse.com/

My bedtime routine is 200-400mg of L-Theanine and a glass of Kava tea (with some 2%+ milk added, helps extract the kavalactones).  Works like a charm, and I'm happy to not have to mess with SSRIs, benzos, etc. and the associated side effects, withdrawal hell, etc.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 1:08:50 PM EDT
[#26]
Members here have recommended those youtube videos with the (hot)chicks whispering and making sounds.


Link Posted: 10/25/2016 1:17:30 PM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
OP, I had the same issues...and Kava has been a Godsend.  It truly is 'nature's xanax'.  Look it up, a natural, drug-free, non habit forming way of unwinding and chilling out.  I wake up well rested and ready to go in the AM.  Kava did get a bad wrap in the 90s/early 2000s with some connection to liver toxicity, but that was due to some shady companies using stem/leaf components of the plant for pills (ONLY buy ground root).

Pills don't work, get ground root or tea.  Again, you want ROOT or ROOT EXTRACT ONLY!  And don't consume with xanax, valium, alcohol, etc.  The site below, BKH, uses noble Kava...as do most legit suppliers.
https://www.amazon.com/Yogi-Herbal-Kava-Stress-Relief/dp/B0009F3QKW
https://www.bulakavahouse.com/

My bedtime routine is 200-400mg of L-Theanine and a glass of Kava tea (with some 2%+ milk added, helps extract the kavalactones).  Works like a charm, and I'm happy to not have to mess with SSRIs, benzos, etc. and the associated side effects, withdrawal hell, etc.
View Quote


Kava is and has been a routine in certain S. Pacific countries for years. It is very popular in Fiji and some blame the laziness on the addiction to kava.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 1:18:37 PM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
My wife used to take Melatonin.  I guess that worked pretty well for her.
View Quote


This!

or ZZZZquill
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 1:56:15 PM EDT
[#29]
find a psychologist who is trained in emdr for ptsd treatment.  

https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

for most people exercising close to sleep time is not good.

hypnosis is the best method to use for relaxation.   A psychologist who knows how can teach her  in one or two sessions.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:03:41 PM EDT
[#30]
Melatonin for the win.

Non addictive and I wake up clear
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:08:10 PM EDT
[#31]
change mattresses.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:12:12 PM EDT
[#32]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Makes sense. Maybe we will make a log book to chart out best results for dosage and time.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



Quoted:


Quoted:


Quoted:

Benadryl



It's it PM part of Advil PM.



The trick is to find what dose makes you sleep without making you feel groggy the next day.



Google it.



If I take two 25mg generic Benadryls about 9 pm - I sleep like the dead and am able to wake up feeling fine at 6 am.




She has tried it, but wakes up still feeling drunk. Maybe we just need to identify the right amount.




Or take it earlier.



Everyone metabolizes drugs differently.



That's the part you have to figure out. How much and when to take it.




Makes sense. Maybe we will make a log book to chart out best results for dosage and time.




 
Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) is a potent anticholinergic and naturally as such, extended use has been linked to dementia and cognitive issues. It is not a long term solution, or even short term.




Tradazone and other more traditional hypnotic drugs would be my first look, in addition to therapy.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:12:28 PM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Kava is and has been a routine in certain S. Pacific countries for years. It is very popular in Fiji and some blame the laziness on the addiction to kava.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
OP, I had the same issues...and Kava has been a Godsend.  It truly is 'nature's xanax'.  Look it up, a natural, drug-free, non habit forming way of unwinding and chilling out.  I wake up well rested and ready to go in the AM.  Kava did get a bad wrap in the 90s/early 2000s with some connection to liver toxicity, but that was due to some shady companies using stem/leaf components of the plant for pills (ONLY buy ground root).

Pills don't work, get ground root or tea.  Again, you want ROOT or ROOT EXTRACT ONLY!  And don't consume with xanax, valium, alcohol, etc.  The site below, BKH, uses noble Kava...as do most legit suppliers.
https://www.amazon.com/Yogi-Herbal-Kava-Stress-Relief/dp/B0009F3QKW
https://www.bulakavahouse.com/

My bedtime routine is 200-400mg of L-Theanine and a glass of Kava tea (with some 2%+ milk added, helps extract the kavalactones).  Works like a charm, and I'm happy to not have to mess with SSRIs, benzos, etc. and the associated side effects, withdrawal hell, etc.


Kava is and has been a routine in certain S. Pacific countries for years. It is very popular in Fiji and some blame the laziness on the addiction to kava.


Yeah, I'm sure if you drink it for breakfast, lunch, dinner...productivity would plummit but for our purposes here, sounds like it's just what she needs
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:12:46 PM EDT
[#34]
Few rounds of shots before bed.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:29:45 PM EDT
[#35]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Few rounds of shots before bed.
View Quote


This worked for me before I stopped drinking
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:31:02 PM EDT
[#36]

Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:34:09 PM EDT
[#37]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Few rounds of shots before bed.
View Quote


You dont talk like a female.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:37:39 PM EDT
[#38]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


she does that almost every day

we have also tried:
- non-caffeinated tea or other relaxing drinks before bed
- making a list of things she needs to do
- other things... naturally
- stretching and "meditating"
these all help her fall asleep, but not stay asleep.

A big lingering issue is from about 10 years ago when she was going to school in Charlottesville.
She awoke one night to see a voyeur in her room. Didn't touch her or her roommates, just creepily staring.
The guy was later caught after repeatedly breaking into women's dorms and other off-campus housing, but strong paranoia of vulnerability when she is asleep still gets to her.
Having me home and now our female GSD has helped, but not enough.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Working out and wearing herself down.



she does that almost every day

we have also tried:
- non-caffeinated tea or other relaxing drinks before bed
- making a list of things she needs to do
- other things... naturally
- stretching and "meditating"
these all help her fall asleep, but not stay asleep.

A big lingering issue is from about 10 years ago when she was going to school in Charlottesville.
She awoke one night to see a voyeur in her room. Didn't touch her or her roommates, just creepily staring.
The guy was later caught after repeatedly breaking into women's dorms and other off-campus housing, but strong paranoia of vulnerability when she is asleep still gets to her.
Having me home and now our female GSD has helped, but not enough.



Her workouts may be part of the problem.  Depends on when she works out.  Endorphins can stay in the blood stream for hours and keep her "wired" which can cause her not to be able to fall asleep.  If her schedule will allow, have her do her workouts as early in the day as possible.  If she can't do them early in the day, warm showers have a calming affect, especially when paired with aromas such as lavender.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:38:36 PM EDT
[#39]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


You dont talk like a female.
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Few rounds of shots before bed.


You dont talk like a female.




There's a big reason why that is.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:38:40 PM EDT
[#40]
I sleep like a baby now when I went this setup. No joke.





Your pillow is your biggest factor for waking up in the middle of the night.



Get a Dream pillow from here.

http://www.carnivalcomfortcollection.com/store/index.cfm?fa=details&CategoryID=21&ProductID=4&page=1





Then get an Air Purifier for your room and let it run all night. This thing and the pillow made the biggest difference for me, it's like night & day now.

https://www.amazon.com/GermGuardian-AC5250PT-Purifier-Sanitizer-Reduction/dp/B00895ICIK/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1477420354&sr=8-1&keywords=GermGuardian+AC5250PT






Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:40:59 PM EDT
[#41]
A white noise machine with ocean sounds and allergy meds seem to work pretty well.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:46:08 PM EDT
[#42]
haven't read all the replies, the few I skimmed seemed like good ideas.  But you specifically asked about hypnosis,  and I have some experience here so I'll give you my take:

Hypnosis works, it not BS.  My wife has the exact same problem yours does.  Wakes up half way through the night and has hard time falling asleep. Have used sleeping pills, melatonin, workouts,  orgasms in bulk packs,  you name it.


one day we won tickets to a hypnosis show,  she went on stage and I am telling you right here and now, with arm at the square, it's real.  She got hypnotized and did things she did not remember in the slightest.  

It was funny but then she went to bed. Slept the night through, like a baby, and woke up feeling rested.  We both commented on it,  but it took a couple days to put two and two together.

Long story short,  I became a certified hypnotist to help her with this problem.  I can put her down and she'll stay down,  like she was poleaxed,  all night.  

I also plant post hypnotics with her so if she does wake up,  fire, kids yelling, pee, whatever, she can lay down and go right to sleep.  

we have also used ongoing conditioning and post hypnotics to create a self-hypnosis routine,  she has certain checkpoints she has to hit,  and when she hits those checkpoints she has a trigger that puts her right to sleep. Has to be in a certain order:  Gets water, puts water on table, touches clock,  closes dresser drawer,  then lays down and it's like she got hit by lighting.

It's structured so that if she doesn't follow the pattern, she will not die on contact with the sheets,  so she has some choice.

So I'd say it's worth looking into.   Everyone can be hypnotized, but they have to want to do it, she can't do it against her will.

I will often hypnotize her and clear her of stress, you can cause amnesia and have her forget thing that are bothering her.  I have her literally isolate her concerns and box them up for retrieval later.  She literally can't consciously remember them when she comes to.

So I'd go see a therapist and see if they can help, and if you're interested,  learn to do it yourself.  I taught myself watching videos and reading a few scripts,  till I could get her under by myself,.  we kind of dicked around with it for a few months till I could easily control her sleep.

Then I wanted to make sure I was doing it right so actually went and took some classes and got "trained", although it's not a very rigorous class, it was a few weeks of sessions a couple times a week with a lot of theory and other stuff on how it works.


The upshot: hypnosis,  properly applied, is frankly pretty amazing stuff for treating things like sleep issues, fear and anxiety,  smoking, bad habits etc.  It is also amazingly effective dealing with stress,  my wife will sometimes have me put her under and then back out, just cause she comes out feeling very rested and relaxed and not stressed.

Pro-tip: stress is a big disinhibitor to female sexual response.  Hypnosis clears sex, and you can also remove any sense of embarrassment.  So it can do more than just help her with sleep.

it's certainly worth looking into, might not be the same answer for you guys, but it's been amazing for my wife and her ability to sleep.
Link Posted: 10/25/2016 2:46:21 PM EDT
[#43]
Tell her to sleep NEKKID...GAME CHANGA!!!!
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