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Posted: 2/13/2002 9:33:48 PM EDT
1 star hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak sub and a side of gravy fries. 2 star hangover (**) No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a fruity pancake from Waffle House. There is some definite havoc being wrecked upon your bowels. 3 star hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching the dog show on animal planet. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Iced Teas and a diet coke - yet you haven't peed once. WHAT IS THE DEAL!!!
Link Posted: 2/13/2002 9:34:26 PM EDT
4 star hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.)Your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Revere High, ' 76. Not only do you have to make up for being late, you can't seem to stay out of the bathroom. 5 star hangover,(*****) aka "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell." You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house. You woke up naked, and on your couch? When leaving home you discover that you have parked your car sideways on your neighbors lawn. AGAIN! 6 star hangover (******) otherwise known as the "Infinite Nutsmacker" You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about 2 seconds you look at the ceiling, wondering if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile, or your vomit from 3 hours ago. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow managed to get up before you; shower and already leave for work. You try to lift your head. Not an option!! Then you inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights...some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you smoked them like it was your second full time job. You look in the mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" clearly on your cheek.......the stamp on the back of your hand has appeared on your face by what is known as jagermeister magic.' You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and 32 seconds and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your slippers. DON'T SIT DOWN ON THE TOILET, you are already late, and you don't know if you will be there five minutes or an hour and a half. -courtesy of the Rottweiler Board
Link Posted: 2/13/2002 9:41:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2002 9:41:35 PM EDT by schv]
That is kick ass!! Perfect rating system. I have had a few six's, the majority have been 4-5's. Woke up in my yard one time with a stray dog for my pillow, pants around my ankles, and a broken blood vessel in my eye from dry heaving so hard.........never drank that much again!!!!
Link Posted: 2/13/2002 10:25:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2002 10:26:49 PM EDT by raven]
I always know a hangover is bad when I vomit up water, the only thing that will help me rehydrate. It'll be at least 8 hours before I feel decent. Maybe had less than five "five stars". Thank god. Those are the hangovers when I wish for death.
Link Posted: 2/13/2002 10:35:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/13/2002 10:37:43 PM EDT by FALARAK]
Most of mine are 2's, 3's or 4's. Have a 2 about once a week. Have had a #6 less than a dozen times... most in college. Oh, and I find that the older I get... the less alcohol it takes to get the higher number hangovers. I can drink 4 beers and skip straight to #2 ranking nowadys... when in school, I could handle more than a 6pack plus a few shots... and not even feel a #1. Getting old sucks more and more every day.
Link Posted: 2/13/2002 10:41:03 PM EDT
Originally Posted By FALARAK: Oh, and I find that the older I get... the less alcohol it takes to get the higher number hangovers. .
View Quote
Amen, I am the same way. Anyone care to take a guess as to why this phenomenon happens?
Link Posted: 2/13/2002 10:44:24 PM EDT
Number 3 is my classc these days minus the kick outof the bar, since my friends and I drink at the ranch. Should I ever try to duplicate the college days of stumbling and blurred vision, I would feel massive pain in the morning er I mean afternoon.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 12:30:40 AM EDT
What's a hangover?? [:p]
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 3:56:48 AM EDT
I definately have been up to 4 stars, maybe just bit higher in my younger days.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 6:14:37 AM EDT
Once had a Port wine hangover which kept me in bed for a full day. Did not move. Head was too heavy and ground was very far away. Truely was a "Never again".
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 6:32:12 AM EDT
I remember the times in my youth when a hangover was just a myth.Something only "old" people got. The wonderful drinking games:Asshole,3-man,Last man standing,etc.Mixing beer, wine and Jim Beam. Now a simple night on the town leaves me with a 5-6 star and puts me out of commision for 2 days.Laying around on the couch eating cheese-steaks and chili-dogs,drinking gatorade by the gallon.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 6:57:19 AM EDT
I've had a couple of sixes in my time...the last one was Christmas day three years ago. I was unable to keep anything down, including water and Gatorade, for the first 36 hours...and not only did I have broken blood vessels in the eyes from dry heaving, I had what essentially amounted to two black eyes from broken blood vessels in the cheeks. Horrible experience...if I was offered that hangover or a bullet I'd have to sit down and think it over. [puke]
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:01:31 AM EDT
I have been a blind DRUNK once and didn't touch alcohol for 2 years afterwards (still to this day can't drink liguer) I can drink wine and only to rate a one. BUT friend (jerry clower voice on) I have had a ******** THE MOTHADRUNK. BLIND, STILL WALKING, IN A LARGE RADIUS CURVE. But just let me tell you the story. 15 SHots of JD in 30 MINUTES. ALMOST GOT INTO A FIGHT (LUCKILY MY FRIENDS PUSHED ME ONTO THE GROUND AND WENT AND GOT THE CAR) pUT ME IN THE CAR AND I opened the door to try to hit the guy when my friend drove past the guy. My friend driving slammed my head into the dash board of his car I already had a scrape on my head from them pushing me to the ground. Got to where we were going and I opened the door and fell out of the car and layed their for 40 minutes, My eyes were either opened or closed but I was blind as a batt. My friends told me their was a cop comming so that I would get up and move, I ran in this huge sem circle toward my friends front door and they carried up the stares and into the bathrooom. and threw me in the floor. All this was related to me by my friends. I was drunk when I got up and it took me 2 hours to get ahold of myself 45 minutes to get to work. I walked into work and sat down for 1.5 hours and my boss told me to go home (luckily it we were close or I would have lost my job) I sat in bed the rest of the day. Now I can't even get liguer onto my lips. Benjamin
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:20:38 AM EDT
During college I moved away from the frat house just so that I could get some real partying done! So, I'd just like to add another category: 7 star hangover ([BD][BD][BD][BD][BD][BD][BD]) No pain. No feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy. However you wake up naked on the hood of your car with your car keys in your a$$.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:27:25 AM EDT
addition to 6: Stay in bed all day because of 'the spins', still puke at 4:30 pm (after going to bed 12 hrs. earlier)... Tequila and I were'nt friends after the '01 New Years.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 5:56:32 PM EDT
5 stars have been my worst hangovers-so far. One time I went out partying near my building. Party was a little more than a block away. I must have had a lot to drink because instead of waking up in my dorm, where I am used to waking up, I woke up in front of a local convenience store with a cigar butt clenched between my teeth. And I didn't have any cigars when I had gone out. NOt only was I not where I should have been, I was also not hung over. I was still very drunk. The next time I woke up, it was on the bathroom floor, under the sinks, with my pants halfway down, and a whole lot of dried blood on my legs. I had to get the rest of the story from my friends, such as the fact that I had vomited EVERYWHERE, how I passed out on the toilet, how I passed out in the large sanitary sink, etc. After I woke up(for good this time), I was too sick to eat, I spent the entire day drinking water and watching Scooby-Doo. I still have the scars on my knees that all the blood apparently came from. Bad times, crazy (and partially second-hand) memories. Wish I had seen it.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 10:44:07 PM EDT
The nice thing about having quit drinking: now I not only go to bed with beautiful women, I wake up next to them!
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