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1/22/2020 12:12:56 PM
Posted: 10/8/2007 7:39:33 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/8/2007 7:43:10 AM EST by silentmajority]
Using the Sandpaper Grit Chart below as your guide, select the Poll option that best describes the texture of the toilet paper your company provides for its staff.




It seems like almost every place I have worked has had the worst ass-tearing, 'roid-ripping, 30-grit-sandpaper-on-a-roll you've ever seen or felt.

How about where you work?


ETA: Last poll selection should end with word Jewelry (guess there's a line limit I went over).
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:40:56 AM EST
single ply 30 grit TP. Unless I really have to shit, I avoid it like the plague. Also sucks when you have a runny nose.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:42:24 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/8/2007 7:42:40 AM EST by Fat_McNasty]
We have John Wayne brand paper here...
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:42:55 AM EST
I very, very rarely shit at work.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:44:31 AM EST
soft as clouds

asst manager handles purchasing of the TP

he went cheap on me once

I placed 6 cases of TP (unboxed) into his vehicle

never a problem since
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:44:36 AM EST
Actually, our TP at work isn't too bad.. it's a little on the thin side... so you have to make an eagle's nest out of it if you're goint to do any serious wiping..
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:46:44 AM EST
I just shit on the floor, then drag my ass in circles on the floor like a dog..no need for TP
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:47:28 AM EST
The toilet paper is good stuff.

The toilet on the other hand, it doesn't take shit from nobody. At least two flushes and you better hold the fuckin' handle to get maximum water flow or you'll be in there for a good 3 to 4 flushes.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:48:04 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/8/2007 7:48:19 AM EST by dtrosch]

Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:48:56 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/8/2007 7:50:32 AM EST by ghengiskhabb]

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
I very, very rarely shit at work.


Bein' paid to poop is one of life's great pleasures.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:49:04 AM EST
Somewhere between tree bark and gravel road. I avoid it if at all possible.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:49:59 AM EST
Think cheese grater
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:50:40 AM EST
We have Charmin at work, but its a small business.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:51:15 AM EST
If you hold up a sheet of the TP at the office you can see through it.

Good news is homecoming is this week so we should get some decent shit paper from all the kids that get caught.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:52:01 AM EST

Originally Posted By ghengiskhabb:

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
I very, very rarely shit at work.


Bein' paid to poop is one of life's great pleasures.


I'll have to take your word for it. Every minute I'm not working is a minute that I have to make up at night or on the weekends.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:52:24 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:52:34 AM EST

Originally Posted By ghengiskhabb:

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
I very, very rarely shit at work.


Bein' paid to poop is one of life great pleasures.



Seriously. Take your favorite gun mag in with you and enjoy some reading time. No one EVER doubts that I was in there taking care of business. You have to be a brave person to walk in there after I come out.



I am decent enough to warn people.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:53:39 AM EST
We have nice soft stuff, but they keep it locked up.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:54:32 AM EST
60 grit sandpaper
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:55:04 AM EST
Sandpaper rough & thin. I am the buyer. Increases employee productivity if they aren't sitting on the john at work.


As I am posting on ARFKOM during work hours.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:57:11 AM EST

Originally Posted By SS109:
Sandpaper rough & thin. I am the buyer. Increases employee productivity if they aren't sitting on the john at work.

As I am posting on ARFKOM during work hours.

I knew it!
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:58:56 AM EST
I keep a roll of Charmin in my desk for emergencies.
We've got the same crap the airports have, its so thin you could read a newspaper through it.

Kharn
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:01:01 AM EST
We have John Wayne toilet paper at my work.

Rough and tough and don't take no shit off of nobody.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:03:02 AM EST

Originally Posted By Itchy:
We have John Wayne toilet paper at my work.

Rough and tough and don't take no shit off of nobody.


thus explaining your screen name
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:04:41 AM EST

Originally Posted By dedfella:

Originally Posted By Itchy:
We have John Wayne toilet paper at my work.

Rough and tough and don't take no shit off of nobody.


thus explaining your screen name


Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:06:37 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/8/2007 8:08:07 AM EST by killswitch1982]
This is uttered by me on a daily basis:

"OW, FUCK!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! AM I BLEEDING? FUCK I THINK I SLICED A VAIN!!!! IS THAT...IS THAT A WOOD CHIP? THERE'S FUCKING WOOD CHIPS IN THE T.P.!!! OOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:07:36 AM EST
Practically bleeds every time.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:08:59 AM EST

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
I very, very rarely shit at work.


I shit as much as I can at the office. That way, I don't have the urge to drop some wolf bait when I'm sitting on a boat with no shitter 8 miles offshore.

I learned the first time I had to hold it for an hour. I swear my eyes turned brown.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:09:46 AM EST
the same as the brown paper towels to dry your hands except it is white



Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:12:12 AM EST
The TP at work is actually pretty decent. The toilet is amazing, though. You can lay a huge turd across the bowl, basking like a walrus, and then toilet paper on top of that, and it'll snap the turd in two, and suck all that down to the sewers. It's amazing.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:12:40 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:15:45 AM EST




Is your washroom breeding Bolsheviks?

Employees lose respect for a company that fails to provide decent facilities for their comfort.

Try wiping six days a week on harsh, cheap paper towels or awkward, unsanitary roller towels __ and maybe you, too, would grumble.

Towel service is just one of those mall, but important courtesies -- such as proper air and lighting -- that help build up the good will of your employees.

That's why you'll find clothlike Scot-Tissue Towels in the washrooms of large well-run organizations such as R.C.A. Victor Co., Inc., National Lead Co. and Campbell Soup Co.

ScotTissue Towels are made of "thirsty fibre"...an amazing cellulose product that drinks up moisture 12 time as fast as ordinary paper towels. They feel soft and pliant as a linen towel. Yet they're so strong and tough in texture they won't crumble or go to pieces. . . even when they are wet.

And they cost less, too -- because one is enough to dry the hands -- instead of three or four.

Write for free trial coupon. Scot Paper Company, Chester, Pennsylvania.

ScotTissue Towels - really dry.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:20:02 AM EST
I buy the work TP. It is like wiping your assholio with silk.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 8:41:14 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/8/2007 8:43:56 AM EST by npd233]
TP magnified 500x:


The long, thin fibers you see here are really elongated cells of the pine tree. The trees are cut down, chipped up and pounded to separate the fibers from the rest of the tree material.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 10:40:49 AM EST
The spectrum of cheap toilet paper starts at sandpaper but the other end of the spectrum is like wax paper.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:33:10 AM EST

Originally Posted By ghengiskhabb:

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
I very, very rarely shit at work.


Bein' paid to poop is one of life's great pleasures.


Fuckin' A. Get in there at a quiet time of the day with a newspaper, and you can really relax...
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:34:45 AM EST

Originally Posted By silentmajority:
Using the Sandpaper Grit Chart below as your guide, select the Poll option that best describes the texture of the toilet paper your company provides for its staff.

i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff134/justth1nk/Sandpapergritchart.jpg


It seems like almost every place I have worked has had the worst ass-tearing, 'roid-ripping, 30-grit-sandpaper-on-a-roll you've ever seen or felt.

How about where you work?


ETA: Last poll selection should end with word Jewelry (guess there's a line limit I went over).


I'd rate it if I could find some...

Go Army... Go buy some TP!
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:36:27 AM EST
Yet another advantage of working from home.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:38:08 AM EST
The last place I worked at had TP that was so thin that it was practically unusable.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:45:25 PM EST
We have those huge ass industrial rolls and one day it fell off and rolled out of the shitter I was in and I could still pull it loose from the roll. The only thing it's missing is POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:48:00 PM EST
You may want to edit the last poll choice....
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 10:43:48 PM EST
Pisses me off! De-humanizing.

As some comedian said, "Even really, really poor people can afford the good TP".
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 10:45:02 PM EST
GI TP
Link Posted: 10/9/2007 2:17:05 AM EST
Betweem the thinness and the limiting dispenser, you're so happy to actually get a handful out, that you no longer care how rough it is.
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