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Posted: 10/21/2016 3:12:59 PM EDT
So I started seeing this girl after the divorce, (No there will be no pics, names have been changed for reasons that will be made clear presently) cute little 25 yr old red head with 2 kids with her ex of 7 years.
Was talking to her last night and she seemed....off. Asked her what was going on and she told me that she was worried he was going to try to take her for full custody of the kids. *Sight* New guy problems

This ex of hers was extremely abusive physically, mentally and emotionally. Like, put her in the hospital and the state pressed charges kind of abusive. While she was pregnant.
She was reading the court documents when I got ahold of her because she wanted to reopen the case, due to the fact that she dropped the charges against him because she didn't want her kids dad in the slammer for pretty much forever.
She sent me a pic of one of the documents and....the things this man did....well....lets just say the guns magically loaded themselves. Raped her, broke her jaw, kicked her, strangled her, threatened to kill her and her family... the list goes on.

I forwarded her the contact info I had for my own lawyer, a real mean old guy who takes no shit from anyone and that prosecutors fear and police hate. She said shes going to get ahold of him today to talk about the case to see what can be done.
I told her it wasn't my place to get involved in what had happened before, that I wasn't trying to take his place as the kids dad. I did tell her that if I ever caught him in a dark alley, the issue would resolve itself.

Did I do wrong? It kept me up all night, especially since he comes and takes the kids on the weekends from her place and drops them off on a fairly regular basis. I told her I would leave my spare hand gun with her if she would feel comfortable
with that. Just kind of at a loss and needed to get it off my chest.

Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:15:41 PM EDT
[#1]
You stand guard.  You don't go on the offensive.  You wait and act only when it is to protect life.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:16:38 PM EDT
[#2]
TLDR

Redheads are crazy

Eject
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:17:03 PM EDT
[#3]
You, sir, are an emotional masochist operating at a level not seen since Sampson met Delilah.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:19:24 PM EDT
[#4]
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:19:36 PM EDT
[#5]
Redhead.........check

kids................check



abuse history...check































If you can wrangle all of that, you are a good man.



 

 
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:23:21 PM EDT
[#6]
OP wants too use as a sounding board but gives us jack in the way of pics, not even a little sample of the ginger.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:25:01 PM EDT
[#7]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You, sir, are an emotional masochist operating at a level not seen since Sampson met Delilah.
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Yeah...  Hate to be cynical, but this.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:29:03 PM EDT
[#8]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?
View Quote

First thing I thought. Hmm.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:29:54 PM EDT
[#9]
OST
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:32:12 PM EDT
[#10]
Jesus fucking Christ OP.  this is the easiest case of eject I've ever seen.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:32:13 PM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?
View Quote


And he went to Paris, looking for answers,
To questions that bothered him so...



Edit: Just eject, OP. The pussy cannot be that good and you won't know for long anyways because she'll end up fucking him again someday.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:32:53 PM EDT
[#12]
You're getting played or being over dramatic, do you honestly believe this guy would just be allowed to pick up his kids on the weekends if any of that was true. If it were even slightly true, why would you want to be involved with a person who makes these kinds of decisions. Yes OP, she is just a victim that will use the courts when it pleases her to punish him, but not when it comes to the safety of her children. No woman or man in their right fucking mind would allow someone like that to have unsupervised visitation. The safety of her children is just a convenience to her lifestyle.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:33:46 PM EDT
[#13]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?
View Quote


Lots of victims refuse to cooperate, which often results in charges dropped due to lack of evidence or really lenient plea deals.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:35:29 PM EDT
[#14]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?
View Quote


Their case was reliant on her testimony.  When she refused to testify, they had no case.

OP needs to convince her to re-open the case and be a good witness.  It is the only way she will get closure and move on.  If OP wants a long term relationship with this girl, he needs to help her put her ex away.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:37:01 PM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?
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This.  

Sounds like WAAaaayy  too much drama and baggage for me to ever get involved in.  I'm guessing OP wears a fedora while 'white knighting' for his special lady friend.

Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:38:06 PM EDT
[#16]
I'd eject.

If you decide to do that PM me her contact info.

J/K OP
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:38:32 PM EDT
[#17]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:





First thing I thought. Hmm.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



Quoted:

If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?


First thing I thought. Hmm.




 
She refuses to testify and/or cooperate and says she does not want him prosecuted. I have seen this

happen where hubby shot a .38 through the bathroom door at wife on toilet. One creased her face for

a few inches. Didn't want him prosecuted. Oh well, next.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:39:23 PM EDT
[#18]
OP said he "raped her, broke her jaw, kicked her, strangled her" and she was hospitalized, seems like there ought to be a fair bit of evidence beside her testimony.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:45:32 PM EDT
[#19]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Their case was reliant on her testimony.  When she refused to testify, they had no case.

View Quote


She had a broken frickin' jaw?  You don't need victim testimony with a case with evidence like that.  Often the victims in domestic abuse recant their story and protect the abuser.  The courts see that all the time and is definitely not a reason to not prosecute.  I served on a jury for domestic abuse and the battered spouse was a witness for the defendant.  She said she made it up.  Didn't matter, testimony of the cops, photos of her beat up face, and testimony of a councilor made a conviction pretty damn easy.  
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:46:14 PM EDT
[#20]
eject.  right now.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:47:20 PM EDT
[#21]
I think thus far you are doing the right thing. At your age (I assume mid 30s to 40s) you are going to meet women with history. Now you still need to figure out if she is sane and drama free, but I do not think, as others do, that you should eject over an abusive ex. Shoot, these days it would reduce the dating pool by close to 50%.

Now, and I will say up front that there is ALMOST nothing that gives a man a right to lay hands on his on a woman, spouse or not, in a violent manner. But look for indicators that she might be off and potentially enraged an otherwise normal guy. He still does not have the right to hurt her nor does she deserve to be attacked regardless of whether she played a role in enraging him.

I once dated a redhead with a history of violence from a previous guy. And there was another guy who slashed her tires. And she turned out to be nuts. I dated another non-redhead whose ex-husband was a raging alcoholic. She was nuts. I dated another non-redhead whose ex was physically and emotionally abusive. She was nuts also.

I am not sure about the cause and effect of the above, but just be on your toes.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:48:41 PM EDT
[#22]
More to this story and saying if you ever meet someone in a dark ally and the problem will take care of itself has to be just about the stupidest thing imaginable.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:48:42 PM EDT
[#23]
Dupe
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 3:50:26 PM EDT
[#24]
You should eject before you get caught up in this drama and go to jail yourself.

More red flags than a May Day parade in Moscow in the 50s.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:00:52 PM EDT
[#25]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You should eject before you get caught up in this drama and go to jail yourself.

More red flags than a May Day parade in Moscow in the 50s.
View Quote







Unless you like being "Future Defendant #1" in her next domestic abuse case.. Against you.


*sigh*


You kids and your drama.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:02:45 PM EDT
[#26]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
OP said he "raped her, broke her jaw, kicked her, strangled her" and she was hospitalized, seems like there ought to be a fair bit of evidence beside her testimony.
View Quote


You  are correct Sir.   In this day and age everything is documented  by every person and agency involved .

The fact that she may have failed to cooperate with the court later on is just classic .   Cannot tell you the number of females that have back tracked when they healed up .  You could see it coming when they start making excuses for the SOB in their life .  And the children are just stuck with it .


gd
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:05:36 PM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?
View Quote

These questions need answered.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:06:07 PM EDT
[#28]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


More to this story and saying if you ever meet someone in a dark ally and the problem will take care of itself has to be just about the stupidest thing imaginable.
View Quote




 






Not to mention this thread will most definitely be evidence when he presses charges on you or a death occurs however it happens.







Oh and....eject.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:08:13 PM EDT
[#29]
Remember OP, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

The same applies when someone's story sounds unbelievable.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:10:35 PM EDT
[#30]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
OP said he "raped her, broke her jaw, kicked her, strangled her" and she was hospitalized, seems like there ought to be a fair bit of evidence beside her testimony.
View Quote


Yea, we aren't getting the whole story (probably because he doesn't know the whole story either)
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:13:11 PM EDT
[#31]


Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:13:59 PM EDT
[#32]
Edit: Removing this line since it sounded unintentionally combative, leaving rest.

Careful here, as you could be being manipulated. Allegations about an ex should always be taken with a grain of salt(particularly when unproven), and if you are wrong, you may be next. Proceed with caution.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:17:35 PM EDT
[#33]
My advice OP (if any of this is true), is to marry this woman, and then do everything you can to adopt her children. ASAP.

 
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:20:53 PM EDT
[#34]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You stand guard.  You don't go on the offensive.  You wait and act only when it is to protect life.
View Quote


This.
You'll lose the kids if you hurt or kill the Dad.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:22:53 PM EDT
[#35]
Three sides to every story. Run. You're next.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:25:35 PM EDT
[#36]
Eject
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:26:06 PM EDT
[#37]
With so many good women in the world available who don't have this kind of baggage attached, I can't imagine why you are subjecting yourself to this. This will not end well.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:27:14 PM EDT
[#38]
I've seen this movie before, it does not have a happy ending.

Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:27:16 PM EDT
[#39]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


With so many good women in the world available who don't have this kind of baggage attached, I can't imagine why you are subjecting yourself to this. This will not end well.
View Quote
Ssshhh... you'll ruin it.



 
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:28:03 PM EDT
[#40]
You should look into trying to obtain and domesticate a Honey Badger instead.



I believe that will be far more rewarding than the current path you are on.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:28:18 PM EDT
[#41]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Their case was reliant on her testimony.  When she refused to testify, they had no case.

OP needs to convince her to re-open the case and be a good witness.  It is the only way she will get closure and move on.  If OP wants a long term relationship with this girl, he needs to help her put her ex away.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?


Their case was reliant on her testimony.  When she refused to testify, they had no case.

OP needs to convince her to re-open the case and be a good witness.  It is the only way she will get closure and move on.  If OP wants a long term relationship with this girl, he needs to help her put her ex away.


The likelihood of the state reopening a case they have already dropped is usually close to nil.

ETA: It was probably just hyperbole, but I have never once heard of a prosecutor "fearing" a defense attorney. Respecting or even dreading, sure. Fear? Nah.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:29:35 PM EDT
[#42]
Heh I recently was in something similar.

Gal I knew from back in the day. We use to kick it a lot. She went MIA when she got a BF, then got knocked up.

Fast forward to 3 months after the kid is born and this dude beat her silly. He went to jail and all the good stuff. Didn't do more than a few months though

Well she started coming around again. I knocked it out a few times against my own advice. Then I walked away. I didn't like peering out the window while I was banging her on the couch thinking if this crazy dude was gunna show up.

Eject OP
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:50:18 PM EDT
[#43]
In Texas you can't drop domestic abuse changes once made. Heck, the woman doesn't even have to file. The police can.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:52:32 PM EDT
[#44]
Holy crap. Run, dude. RUUUUNNN!
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 4:52:55 PM EDT
[#45]
Only thing you did wrong so far was talk about it in a public space.



HINT
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 5:01:15 PM EDT
[#46]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Only thing you did wrong so far was talk about it in a public space.

HINT
View Quote



LoL, you think momma is gonna side with the boy toy over baby dady?
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 5:01:53 PM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
If the state pressed charges how did she drop them?  If the state pressed charges for something that bad how did he get shared custody?
View Quote


Exactly what I was thinking. There's something rotten in Denmark. It doesn't sound as if she if telling the whole story or the true story. I would proceed with extreme caution till you know all the facts. Only the Assistant District Attorney decides whether the charges are prosecuted or dropped. Not the victim or even the police. And, yes, how would any family court judge judge even consider allowing such a violent brute to have unsupervised visitation with children who his actions prove that he is very capable of harming?  Unless her story is not true.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 5:02:27 PM EDT
[#48]
Eject, get someone without kids and a history that is a novel.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 5:09:47 PM EDT
[#49]
Does  she have crazy eyes.
Link Posted: 10/21/2016 5:12:45 PM EDT
[#50]
Something isn't right here.  Call your attorney and have him speak to the State Attorney on the case to get the real scoop.   This would be for your own information and well worth it.  Chick could be manipulating you.
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