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Posted: 9/20/2011 2:24:00 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/20/2011 3:11:16 PM EST by xm177e2687]
Shit... theres a patch of ceiling in my apartment that is damaged from a roof leak, it looks very weak there and my landlord is still hesitating to fix it because she is cheap. I am cooking food in the oven and now I hear the racoon thats living in the attic trying to scratch through the ceiling in the weak spot,it must smell my cooking. WTF should I do if WHEN it breaks through??? I CANT SHOOT A FIREARM INSIDE MY APARTMENT. I tapped on the ceiling in an effort to scare it off and i dont hear it scratching anymore but I'm sure its gonna get through sooner or later. I dont know what to do. Its 7:23pm and noone is going to fix this problem for me right now, i am in my bedroom with the door closed, the fucked up ceiling is in the living room. If it gets in what do i do?????? I have been telling my landlord about the fucked up ceiling and she doesnt wanna fix it "oooo its too expensive" yea well guess what lady.. its gonna be a hell of a lot more expensive when it fucking collapses into the apartment making a huge mess, and leaving a racoon running around destroying my shit

ETA: I LIVE IN NJ, I CANNOT DISCHARGE ANY CALIBER OF FIREARM INSIDE MY APARTMENT I WILL END UP IN PRISON IF I DO
ETA 2: WHEN I SAY I CANNOT SHOOT A GUN IN MY APARTMENT THAT MEANS I CANT SHOOT A DAMN GUN IN MY APARTMENT REGARDLESS OF CALIBER

I suppose maybe I should call the cops and have animal control sent here??? I have no means of taking out the racoon and to be completely honest I'd rather not have to go at the thing with a knife. damnit i pay fucking rent on time, no problems.. and what do i get?? I cant even enjoy my fucking dinner without a damn animal falling into my apartment

if it comes down to it and I'm in fear of this damn thing attacking me, which I doubt it will because I will call pest control if it falls in but worst case scenario, hypothetically speaking... what would be better for racoon, number 6 or number 3 shot?? I wont shoot buckshot in here because it will overpenetrate and I have neighbors with little kids in the other apartments
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:25:33 PM EST
Scream like a little girl.
It scares them away.
Really.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:25:43 PM EST



.22 cal should work just fine.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:25:49 PM EST
Uh, its a racoon.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:25:59 PM EST
Supressed subsonic 22lr :)
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:26:52 PM EST
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


I keep thinking of this commercial... I dont have a .22 here and even if I did its totally illegal to discharge a firearm within city limits and I cannot do it in my apartment under ANY circumstances. I live in NJ, I would end up in prison if I fired a gun off inside my apartment
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:26:58 PM EST
Get set to take a picture of Ceiling Raccoon.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:27:40 PM EST
Shoot 'em Elizabeth!
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:28:22 PM EST
Calmly explain to the landlord that if that little fucker gets in, she'll have to pay for a LOT more than just some ceiling and roof damage: She'll
have to pay for all incidental damages that occur when you end up beating a raccoon to death with a bowling ball swung from a short rope.
That means new carpets, new walls, new windows....she'll get the message.


Cheap fix now or much more expensive repair later. Her choice.


I believe she also has a legal obligation to attend to matters like that.


CJ
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:28:38 PM EST
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


This was my first thought too. I love that commercial
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:28:46 PM EST
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


I keep thinking of this commercial... I dont have a .22 here and even if I did its totally illegal to discharge a firearm within city limits and I cannot do it in my apartment under ANY circumstances. I live in NJ, I would end up in prison if I fired a gun off inside my apartment


Like, totally, dude.

TRG
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:28:53 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:29:21 PM EST
Move out of Jersey.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:29:49 PM EST

Cause if he gets in he's your raccoon.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:30:00 PM EST
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


I keep thinking of this commercial... I dont have a .22 here and even if I did its totally illegal to discharge a firearm within city limits and I cannot do it in my apartment under ANY circumstances. I live in NJ, I would end up in prison if I fired a gun off inside my apartment


Blows for you. Can you even have a pellet gun? I have a Stoeger X10 .177 rifle that shoots at 1200+ FPS. That would take a coon out pretty easily. Sounds like you may need to get old school and bash its head in with a hammer. Can you have a hammer in NJ?
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:30:29 PM EST
Remove all personal items from apartment let it come through and be heating oil on high and leave in a coon induced panic
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:30:43 PM EST
You sure it's a raccoon? Could be rats.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:31:12 PM EST
Broomstick, kitchen knife, duct tape. Billy Bob spear his ass.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:31:21 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/20/2011 5:20:32 PM EST by Drsalee]
One shot.........nobody can tell where it came from. Only ONE shot though !



Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:31:28 PM EST
What size are the raccoon's hands?
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:31:59 PM EST
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


I keep thinking of this commercial... I dont have a .22 here and even if I did its totally illegal to discharge a firearm within city limits and I cannot do it in my apartment under ANY circumstances. I live in NJ, I would end up in prison if I fired a gun off inside my apartment


Blows for you. Can you even have a pellet gun? I have a Stoeger X10 .177 rifle that shoots at 1200+ FPS. That would take a coon out pretty easily. Sounds like you may need to get old school and bash its head in with a hammer. Can you have a hammer in NJ?


We need a firearms purchase permit to get a pellet gun in NJ, I have one at my folks house but that doesnt do me any good right now

Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:32:24 PM EST
step 1 wait under the hole with a larger knife
step 2 ???????????????
Step 3 PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:33:17 PM EST
Originally Posted By operatorerror:
You sure it's a raccoon? Could be rats.


or this...
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:33:37 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/20/2011 2:34:03 PM EST by 6winchester2]
Originally Posted By operatorerror:
You sure it's a raccoon? Could be rats.


Or, more likely, a squirrel.

ETA: 20 seconds too late.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:33:55 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:34:07 PM EST
get a hav a hart trap

bait trap

cut hole in ceiling

go to dinner or something for a few hours

dump coon out of trap into reenforced box

drop off at landlords office
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:34:10 PM EST
Wait for raccoon to make a hole
Replace ceiling raccoon with a ceiling cat.
Profit???

Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:35:03 PM EST
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


I keep thinking of this commercial... I dont have a .22 here and even if I did its totally illegal to discharge a firearm within city limits and I cannot do it in my apartment under ANY circumstances. I live in NJ, I would end up in prison if I fired a gun off inside my apartment


Blows for you. Can you even have a pellet gun? I have a Stoeger X10 .177 rifle that shoots at 1200+ FPS. That would take a coon out pretty easily. Sounds like you may need to get old school and bash its head in with a hammer. Can you have a hammer in NJ?


We need a firearms purchase permit to get a pellet gun in NJ, I have one at my folks house but that doesnt do me any good right now



... and THAT is the MOST fucked up thing I've learned in quite some time.

Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:35:36 PM EST
You a city boy?

Shit, it's a raccoon not a lion. If it falls through open the fucking door.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:36:02 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/20/2011 2:36:43 PM EST by 4v50]
Play this video repeatedly beneath the patch. It will scare the critter off. Be sure to turn on the volume. link
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:36:48 PM EST
do you have a sword ?
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:36:59 PM EST
If you have a racoon in your attic and don't own the property and your landlord hasn't fixed THAT issue, then I'd say call animal control pronto.

Unless your lease says that you have to share your quarters with wildlife.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:37:34 PM EST
Originally Posted By pilotman:
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


I keep thinking of this commercial... I dont have a .22 here and even if I did its totally illegal to discharge a firearm within city limits and I cannot do it in my apartment under ANY circumstances. I live in NJ, I would end up in prison if I fired a gun off inside my apartment


Blows for you. Can you even have a pellet gun? I have a Stoeger X10 .177 rifle that shoots at 1200+ FPS. That would take a coon out pretty easily. Sounds like you may need to get old school and bash its head in with a hammer. Can you have a hammer in NJ?


We need a firearms purchase permit to get a pellet gun in NJ, I have one at my folks house but that doesnt do me any good right now



... and THAT is the MOST fucked up thing I've learned in quite some time.



QFT.


Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:37:36 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:37:38 PM EST
Originally Posted By bdhsnake:
do you have a sword ?


need video of this proposed solution.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:37:49 PM EST

Originally Posted By Jarhead08:
http://wedontlunch.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/skippy-peanut-butter.jpg

Cause if he gets in he's your raccoon.


What would he do with a raccoon?
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:39:52 PM EST
Originally Posted By TheJeffster:
Broomstick, kitchen knife, duct tape. Billy Bob spear his ass.


This is a fantastic idea
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:41:14 PM EST
Call animal control? Look up a nuisance wildlife control operator in your area? Call the state fish and wildlife?
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:44:21 PM EST
Call apt management company, etc, leave a papertrail for insurance. Document their negligence

Call Animal Control

Baseball bat or big spear. If you have ever seen a pissed off raccoon you would know that you don't want to get close to it. Raccoons do not stay cornered for long and will tear your ass up given the chance.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:47:10 PM EST
Step 1: Catch raccoon.
Step 2: Return the landlords raccoon to their home. I'm sure they miss it.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:47:38 PM EST
Do you have a bayonet, a broomstick, and some zip ties? If so, you possess all the makings of a raccoon spear.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:48:52 PM EST
Originally Posted By pilotman:
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


I keep thinking of this commercial... I dont have a .22 here and even if I did its totally illegal to discharge a firearm within city limits and I cannot do it in my apartment under ANY circumstances. I live in NJ, I would end up in prison if I fired a gun off inside my apartment


Blows for you. Can you even have a pellet gun? I have a Stoeger X10 .177 rifle that shoots at 1200+ FPS. That would take a coon out pretty easily. Sounds like you may need to get old school and bash its head in with a hammer. Can you have a hammer in NJ?


We need a firearms purchase permit to get a pellet gun in NJ, I have one at my folks house but that doesnt do me any good right now



... and THAT is the MOST fucked up thing I've learned in quite some time.



That is absolutely fucking retarded. Seriously, you need a permit to buy a fucking pellet gun. Why in the world do you live in NJ? You get paid like $500K a year or some shit? Seriously, come to NM, enjoy cheap housing, great weather, great gun laws and the ability to shoot a home invader without being prosecuted. I really don't know what to say.


I have a pigeon problem. I called the city and asked what to do about it. They told me to kill them all. Technically you are not supposed to shoot a pellet gun in the city limits, but they told me to shoot them if I could as long as I didnt disturb or endanger my neighbors or disturb or endanger any protected species. So, I will only shoot them when they are on the ground in my back yard.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:49:22 PM EST
I like the idea of letting it break through, trap it, and deliver to your landlords residence.

And WTF you have to get a firearms permit for a pellet gun?!?!?!?
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:50:25 PM EST
I don't know if you can get an ACO out there this late at night... There should be an emergency number for your area though. I live in Hunterdon county and work for the Hunterdon County Humane Society. All of our ACO's work from 8:30am-4:30pm.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:50:48 PM EST
You could make a catch-pole with a 48" piece of electrical conduit, 60" of 1/4" wire rope, two nuts and a washer.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:51:07 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/20/2011 2:58:11 PM EST by ch1966]
Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this coon for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad coon. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This coon, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:52:57 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/20/2011 2:57:31 PM EST by xm177e2687]
Originally Posted By NeedMoreAmmo:
Call apt management company, etc, leave a papertrail for insurance. Document their negligence

Call Animal Control

Baseball bat or big spear. If you have ever seen a pissed off raccoon you would know that you don't want to get close to it. Raccoons do not stay cornered for long and will tear your ass up given the chance.


I called the landlord.. apparently she has KNOWN about the racoon family living up there she didnt have any solutions for me, I told her if it falls through I'm calling the cops to get animal control here. And to those asking.. YES you need an FID... firearms purchaser identification card to purchase any BB or pellet gun in NJ, I believe you actually need a seperate handgun license to purchase a bb or pellet pistol and we are limited to one handgun purchase per month. I cannot leave NJ, I go to college here and do not make enough money to go anywhere else if I was to quit my job
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:52:57 PM EST
how about a large empty trash can under the location of the impending fall through? once its in the can put the lid on it and take it outside. don't forget to block the hole in the house that the raccoon got into the attic through or you'll repeat this process all night.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:54:43 PM EST
You could put some poison up in the attic but u better check a few days later or it will get to stinking.
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:55:37 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/20/2011 2:55:38 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/20/2011 2:59:19 PM EST by Abearir]
Originally Posted By xm177e2687:
Originally Posted By SISUltra:
http://www.thedirectorsbureau.com/images/videos/ALLSTATE_Raccoon_(DIR_NFA_30).jpg


.22 cal should work just fine.


I keep thinking of this commercial... I dont have a .22 here and even if I did its totally illegal to discharge a firearm within city limits and I cannot do it in my apartment under ANY circumstances. I live in NJ, I would end up in prison if I fired a gun off inside my apartment


Ever hear of a PELLET GUN SLING SHOT BASEBALL BAT LIVE TRAP and a swimming pool.

edit for NJ resident
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