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Posted: 9/28/2004 4:31:27 PM EST
Here we go...

Ever notice at award shows(Emmys, Oscars), where awardees go on and on and on, blah blah blah?

Well, I've got the perfect solution.

When an awardee's speech goes over 30 secs in length, an extremely bright light is activated from the control booth and is shone directly in the offender's eyes.

If the speech continues, a signal is sent to the control booth to press a switch that operates a trap door underneath the podium. The offender falls through and lands smack dab at the bottom of the stage.

To defray the costs, a $25,000 Blabbermouth Tax is assessed every time someone does this. If these people can buy designer clothes that cost more than what my parents paid for their first house, they can pay everytime they bore people!!!!!
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 4:34:36 PM EST
Ummm. Ok.
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 4:40:27 PM EST
why do people even watch award shows?
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 4:58:06 PM EST
Like Michael Douglas said in "The American President":

"Answer that question, folks, then you're smarter than I am."
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 5:36:25 PM EST
change the channel
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 6:18:06 PM EST
Just bring up the music and cut to commercial.

While in commercial taser them and drag them off stage.
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 6:24:59 PM EST
Trap door. At 25 seconds a loud claxon goes off to warn them. At 30, the door opens and their little award is left spinning in the air. What's below? Well...alligators, lions, sharks, whatever you want.
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 8:34:46 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 8:37:48 PM EST
I just dont watch stuff like that so its not a concern
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 9:56:21 PM EST
All that shit is nothing more than a Hollyweird circle jerk. Who gives a flying fuck anyway?

If anything like the Oscars, Emmy's, etc have ANY meaning to you, I think you should take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what's important in your life.

BTW, no flame intended. I was a TOTAL TV junkie in my youth so I've BTDT and gotten the t-shirt. Awards crap (as well as 90% of what is aired on TV) is nothing more that bright lights and pretty noise to keep the sheeple distracted.
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 9:57:35 PM EST

Originally Posted By Airwolf:
All that shit is nothing more than a Hollyweird circle jerk. Who gives a flying fuck anyway?

If anything like the Oscars, Emmy's, etc have ANY meaning to you, I think you should take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what's important in your life.

BTW, no flame intended. I was a TOTAL TV junkie in my youth so I've BTDT and gotten the t-shirt. Awards crap (as well as 90% of what is aired on TV) is nothing more that bright lights and pretty noise to keep the sheeple distracted.



Good point there, one day around Dec 2001, I lost my taste for it and turned it off.
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 10:02:46 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/28/2004 10:05:39 PM EST by booshmaster]
I guess you guys don't watch Chapelles show much. He has already done this one...
The Wrap it Up Box
Link Posted: 9/28/2004 10:09:18 PM EST
Award shows are for homosexuals and fat girls that cry.
Link Posted: 9/29/2004 2:24:50 AM EST
Award shows are for the Hollywierd's ego to be stroked...nothing more.
Look at me, I am so beautiful. Love me, watch me, adore me....I need to feel important. I need something in my life other than decadent pleasures and no concept of reality......
Link Posted: 9/29/2004 4:42:19 PM EST

Originally Posted By Phil_in_Seattle:
Just bring up the music and cut to commercial.

While in commercial taser them and drag them off stage.



LOL! Good one!
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