RANT:The perfect solution to long acceptance speeches @ award shows

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - RANT:The perfect solution to long acceptance speeches @ award shows

Posted: 9/28/2004 5:31:27 PM EDT

Here we go...

Ever notice at award shows(Emmys, Oscars), where awardees go on and on and on, blah blah blah?

Well, I've got the perfect solution.

When an awardee's speech goes over 30 secs in length, an extremely bright light is activated from the control booth and is shone directly in the offender's eyes.

If the speech continues, a signal is sent to the control booth to press a switch that operates a trap door underneath the podium. The offender falls through and lands smack dab at the bottom of the stage.

To defray the costs, a $25,000 Blabbermouth Tax is assessed every time someone does this. If these people can buy designer clothes that cost more than what my parents paid for their first house, they can pay everytime they bore people!!!!!

Posted: 9/28/2004 5:34:36 PM EDT

[#1]

Ummm. Ok.

Posted: 9/28/2004 5:40:27 PM EDT

[#2]

why do people even watch award shows?

Posted: 9/28/2004 5:58:06 PM EDT

[#3]

Like Michael Douglas said in "The American President":

"Answer that question, folks, then you're smarter than I am."

Posted: 9/28/2004 6:36:25 PM EDT

[#4]

change the channel

Posted: 9/28/2004 7:18:06 PM EDT

[#5]

Just bring up the music and cut to commercial.

While in commercial taser them and drag them off stage.

Posted: 9/28/2004 7:24:59 PM EDT

[#6]

Trap door. At 25 seconds a loud claxon goes off to warn them. At 30, the door opens and their little award is left spinning in the air. What's below? Well...alligators, lions, sharks, whatever you want.

Posted: 9/28/2004 9:34:46 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Just bring up the music and cut to commercial.

That's what many shows have been doing lately. But they are still scheduled poorly, and try to fit in too many awards for the time they have been allotted.

-Troy

Posted: 9/28/2004 9:37:48 PM EDT

[#8]

I just dont watch stuff like that so its not a concern

Posted: 9/28/2004 10:56:21 PM EDT

[#9]

All that shit is nothing more than a Hollyweird circle jerk. Who gives a flying fuck anyway?

If anything like the Oscars, Emmy's, etc have ANY meaning to you, I think you should take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what's important in your life.

BTW, no flame intended. I was a TOTAL TV junkie in my youth so I've BTDT and gotten the t-shirt. Awards crap (as well as 90% of what is aired on TV) is nothing more that bright lights and pretty noise to keep the sheeple distracted.

Posted: 9/28/2004 10:57:35 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
All that shit is nothing more than a Hollyweird circle jerk. Who gives a flying fuck anyway?

If anything like the Oscars, Emmy's, etc have ANY meaning to you, I think you should take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what's important in your life.

BTW, no flame intended. I was a TOTAL TV junkie in my youth so I've BTDT and gotten the t-shirt. Awards crap (as well as 90% of what is aired on TV) is nothing more that bright lights and pretty noise to keep the sheeple distracted.

Good point there, one day around Dec 2001, I lost my taste for it and turned it off.

Posted: 9/28/2004 11:02:46 PM EDT

[#11]

I guess you guys don't watch Chapelles show much. He has already done this one...
The Wrap it Up Box

Posted: 9/28/2004 11:09:18 PM EDT

[#12]

Award shows are for homosexuals and fat girls that cry.

Posted: 9/29/2004 3:24:50 AM EDT

[#13]

Award shows are for the Hollywierd's ego to be stroked...nothing more.
Look at me, I am so beautiful. Love me, watch me, adore me....I need to feel important. I need something in my life other than decadent pleasures and no concept of reality......

Posted: 9/29/2004 5:42:19 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Just bring up the music and cut to commercial.

While in commercial taser them and drag them off stage.

LOL! Good one!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - RANT:The perfect solution to long acceptance speeches @ award shows

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