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Posted: 9/28/2005 8:59:57 AM EDT
Alright. I am an old fashioned kind of guy. I actually had to teach my girlfriend to wait for me to open the door for her. She still forgets sometimes, and she gets “the look” from me and she apologizes.

When I walk through the door, if someone is behind me I put my arm out holding it open until their hand get to the door to continue holding it open for themselves and then do the same fro whoever is behind them. This is a very common practice for men and women.

But I have had 5 women in the last 2 days not even turn around to see if I was there and 2 of them even looked at me before going though the door before they continue on their merry way while I obviously did not exist on their planet.

The number of women doing this has sharply raised over the last few months. When did it become “un-lady-like” to pass the door to the person behind you?
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:09:49 AM EDT
As we all know there are asshats in all shapes and sizes. Women who do not practice good manners are just that asshats. Please do not let this interrupt your good manners. Bravo for teaching the gf whats right and whats wrong.

I'm amazed at how many people [typically woman] who will litterally walk over the top of me when I'm walking down a street. I understand that people get in a hurry and typically when I'm walking down the street I'm checking things out, taking my time [I don't get out much!] and this could be annoying but I'm more than ready to step a side, give the way. However I'm not a little person. It amazes me when particularly petite women come barreling down the side walk straight at me, refusing to give way. I snicker everytime it happens because there's a small person inside of me [kinda looks like this...] that just wants to knock them on their arse and say "Oh, excuse me, I guess I didn't see you." But I don't - I try to step aside.

Patty
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:12:14 AM EDT
Common courtesy in Texas for men that are total strangers to hold the door for each other. The only thank you exchanged is the man nod. An armed society is a polite society.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:15:50 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:16:54 AM EDT
I decided long ago to be honest, forthright, and do what I know is right. And to let the chips fall where they may.


If you let these kind of people get to you and influence how you decently live your life, then they win.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:18:17 AM EDT

Originally Posted By jcncc:
Common courtesy in Texas for men that are total strangers to hold the door for each other. The only thank you exchanged is the man nod. An armed society is a polite society.



I had a girl rant to me once about how she hated the man nod, felt that if they didn't want to take the time to actually wave to you they didn't really care about you. I tried to explain, but she just didn't understand....
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:24:21 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:27:33 AM EDT
Unfortunately, manners are rare these days. I always hold the door for others. This subject has come up here before, and I know there are some of you here that live in places where women are offended if you hold the door for them. I would guess that would be common in the PRK.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:43:22 AM EDT
"I didn't open the door for you because you're a lady. I opened it because I'm a gentleman." - anonymous arfkommer

I've always wanted to use that line, but around here the women will say thankyou. Very, very few want. So far I haven't met any that were put off. Maybe I need to hang out in Asspain more.

Nah..f' that.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:55:47 AM EDT
The age of chivalry died a long, long time ago.

Very few women are ladies these days, and I don't go out of my way to be a "gentleman" for this exact reason. They want equality, I'll give it to them...I very rarely hold doors open, let them pass first, give up my seat, etc.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:03:13 AM EDT

Originally Posted By A_G:
The age of chivalry died a long, long time ago.



Why is that?


Very few women are ladies these days, and I don't go out of my way to be a "gentleman" for this exact reason. They want equality, I'll give it to them...I very rarely hold doors open, let them pass first, give up my seat, etc.


Not all of them are like that.
Don't let the scum in this country win. I will battle indefinitely for what I hold to be right and decent. That is the only way decency will win.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:07:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:
The number of women doing this has sharply raised over the last few months. When did it become “un-lady-like” to pass the door to the person behind you?



I doubt that the amount of that type of behavior has changed in the last few months, just your awareness of the behavior.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:10:59 AM EDT
when I was living in CA....alot of my friends are female, and have chewed me out cause I "implied" that they couldnt open a door themselves, by stepping ahead and opening it for them. My ex was the only woman I met there that found it endearing that I was the only guy she'd met who would pull out a chair for her or open a door for her, or give up my coat with it raining and 40 degrees out, and dressed in a suit and she was in t-shirt and jeans.

We had our differences and ended things on a bad note a few months ago. When I was home on leave from Basic, we had some fun, and we've talked about picking things back up - neither one of us are sure about it yet, so we decided that we will see each other when Im home on leave, (which works fine for me) and see where we are after this next deployment. No strings for now, which is how it should be in Germany.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:22:52 AM EDT
My biggest pet peeve is the "flying wedge" in the hallway. This is when 3 or 4 obese female office employees go to lunch and walk abreast of one another, and waddle at about a foot per minute. They literally block traffic in both directions and jabber on, completely oblivious that someone else might need to get lunch. Seriously, I can understand wanting to talk to your friends, but if your friends look like Shamu please don't block the ENTIRE hallway.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:26:31 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:29:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 10:31:05 AM EDT by Merrell]

Originally Posted By happycynic:
My biggest pet peeve is the "flying wedge" in the hallway. This is when 3 or 4 obese female office employees go to lunch and walk abreast of one another, and waddle at about a foot per minute. They literally block traffic in both directions and jabber on, completely oblivious that someone else might need to get lunch. Seriously, I can understand wanting to talk to your friends, but if your friends look like Shamu please don't block the ENTIRE hallway.



They do the same thing with shopping carts in the supermarkets... usually picking the aisle intersections as "interludes of tranquility", where they pause, and all mental functions cease.... how long this temporal stasis lasts depends on how many poeple WHO ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO GET THE HELL IN AND OUT OF THE STORE are clogged up behind them.

I am considering taking a pole vaulting pole on future grocery excursions, so when I see the cows beginning their slow deceleration (from 1.2 MPH to 0.005 MPH) I can briskly whip out my pole, and bound over the female bovine obstacles and fellow amazed shoppers.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:29:53 AM EDT
I hold the door for people, male and female, wherever I go. It's the polite, courteous thing. The ones who recognize it are generally older than 60.

I was raised with manners, and just because someone has decided that they are no longer fashionable isn't going to change my behavior.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:31:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By happycynic:
My biggest pet peeve is the "flying wedge" in the hallway. This is when 3 or 4 obese female office employees go to lunch and walk abreast of one another, and waddle at about a foot per minute. They literally block traffic in both directions and jabber on, completely oblivious that someone else might need to get lunch. Seriously, I can understand wanting to talk to your friends, but if your friends look like Shamu please don't block the ENTIRE hallway.



They are EVERYWHERE! Big slovenly women(and men) in size XXXX T-shirts clogging the aisles at the supermarkets just chatting away. They get indignant if you ask them to move aside so that the paying customers can shop. They have no manners or sense of self worth and they show it to everyone around.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:31:36 AM EDT
In my world, the women come first.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:35:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By BenDover:
I hold the door for people, male and female, wherever I go. It's the polite, courteous thing. The ones who recognize it are generally older than 60.

I was raised with manners, and just because someone has decided that they are no longer fashionable isn't going to change my behavior.



Well said.

But the in me sometimes says "thank you so much" to people who let the door slam in may face, or "you're very welcome" to people who don't acknowledge that I performed a courtesy for them, and an occasional "excuse me, i'm so sorry" to the jerk who pushes past.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:49:03 AM EDT
I dated a feminist in college several times. She used to yell at me and call me an asshole if I opened the door for her. After a while it got kind of fun, because she received the dirty looks, not I.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:58:40 AM EDT
Old story told by Isaac Asimov. He went to hold a door for a woman and said "Ladies first!" She then chidded him with a remark about Women's lib and why that would change his behavior.

He shot back with "Oh, I'm all for women being free."

She responded "That's great that you feel that way!"

And he finished with "Oh, certainly. I hate it when they charge."


Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:01:21 AM EDT
I was motorcycling through KY a couple of years back, and stopped to get some gas. When I went up to pay, a young (early 20s) woman held the door for me. I told her I was supposed to do that. She replied that it was really no problem. It made me feel old.

What's next, helping me across the street?
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:02:47 AM EDT
This topic is covered in Chapter 35 of my manifesto.

Chapter 35: American Humans Have Diminished Sense of Personal Space

Coming soon to a tar-paper shack near you.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:13:42 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:24:14 AM EDT
I do not understand the whole lack of common courtesy thing either.
It is happening more and more in Atlanta. Yes I know Atlanta is yankeefied now, but it seems to be even worse than usual.
I got some strange looks in Nor Cal for opening doors, and saying please and thank you. I did not get the pissed libber attitude from people in Nor Cal though. On more than one occasion people told me I was very formal in my speech and mannerisms. The women in Nor Cal were very friendly and appreciative of common courtesies that are engrained and unconscious in me.

ARH

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:24:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By brouhaha:
I love telling this story:

When I was in college, one of the administration buildings had an extremely heavy wooden door on overly strong springs. It wasn't easy to open.

Being a man, I always hold doors open for women, ESPECIALLY this one, which many women had trouble with.

One day, I walk through the door and notice a fairly small, cute girl behind me, so I get behind the open door and hold it for her.

Halfway through, she stops and chews me out...the whole equality crap and how I was a sexist for holding the door open for her.

So...I let it go. The look on her face as the door hit her and pushed her back outside was priceless.


well done!!!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:46:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By happycynic:
My biggest pet peeve is the "flying wedge" in the hallway. This is when 3 or 4 obese female office employees go to lunch and walk abreast of one another, and waddle at about a foot per minute. They literally block traffic in both directions and jabber on, completely oblivious that someone else might need to get lunch. Seriously, I can understand wanting to talk to your friends, but if your friends look like Shamu please don't block the ENTIRE hallway.



I have a deep and loud voice. When confronted by this "flying wedge" I simply use my voice, "excuse me ladies, may I get by?" I just love shocking people out of their little world.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:58:35 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 1:45:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By A_G:
The age of chivalry died a long, long time ago.

Very few women are ladies these days, and I don't go out of my way to be a "gentleman" for this exact reason. They want equality, I'll give it to them...I very rarely hold doors open, let them pass first, give up my seat, etc.



Well, I for one, thank you. (Probably the ONLY one... still). I hold doors open for men and women alike. If there's someone who appears "in need" of my seat - and I am able to stand for the time frame remaining - I'll offer my seat to them, sex doesn't matter - "need" does.

My first, last and only BF tried to do the door thing - just annoyed the shit out of me. (I was 16 and "experimenting" I asked him if I looked "helpless" - he said "no". Then stop all the BS I am fully capable of opening my own door, thanks. So we found that "space" that just made sense, no one was shouldering all the "load" - it was hard, I think for him, but he adjusted okay.... then I figured out I just was NOT "into" guys "that way"... so.... Oh well.

But, IMO anyway, "rude" has taken precidence over "polite". Doesn't stop me. If it stops someone else -that's THEIR problem, not mine. Used to get annoyed at men who held open doors - etc... apparently, I have "mellowed" or they are coming from a less "superior" place - dunno. Most likely I don't care what place they are "coming from".... so regardless THEIR mindset, mine is (pardon the pun) "straight" so... whatever.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 2:31:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 2:32:24 PM EDT by prk]
[highjack]Another on that annoys me is when someone passes by, then cuts into the space you need for your own feet. My solution is, either give them an "exuuuse me" or I just don't break stride unless its a small child or an old geezer / geezette. If there's contact, so be it.

Same for the jerks who put themselves in your path and make no sign of mutual accomodation the closer you get. Kind of like pedestrian "chicken". Maybe they're just starved for contact. OK with me.

As you can tell, I'm in the city now. I miss the part of the country where total strangers would wave on the back roads.
[/hijack]
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 2:44:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By happycynic:
My biggest pet peeve is the "flying wedge" in the hallway. This is when 3 or 4 obese female office employees go to lunch and walk abreast of one another, and waddle at about a foot per minute. They literally block traffic in both directions and jabber on, completely oblivious that someone else might need to get lunch. Seriously, I can understand wanting to talk to your friends, but if your friends look like Shamu please don't block the ENTIRE hallway.



You can get an compressed air powered horn at a marine supply store that should clear things out PDQ.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 2:54:58 PM EDT
Every time I offer my jaket to a female aquaintance or hold a door for someone, they act like I am trying to get into their pants.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:01:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:
Every time I offer my jaket to a female aquaintance or hold a door for someone, they act like I am trying to get into their pants.



Well aren't you??
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:04:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By jcncc:
Common courtesy in Texas for men that are total strangers to hold the door for each other. The only thank you exchanged is the man nod. An armed society is a polite society.



+1, I'm not a Texan, and I hold the door for everyone, even other men. I don't discriminate
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:10:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 3:13:43 PM EDT by wildearp]

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:
Alright. I am an old fashioned kind of guy. I actually had to teach my girlfriend to wait for me to open the door for her. She still forgets sometimes, and she gets “the look” from me and she apologizes.

When I walk through the door, if someone is behind me I put my arm out holding it open until their hand get to the door to continue holding it open for themselves and then do the same fro whoever is behind them. This is a very common practice for men and women.

But I have had 5 women in the last 2 days not even turn around to see if I was there and 2 of them even looked at me before going though the door before they continue on their merry way while I obviously did not exist on their planet.

The number of women doing this has sharply raised over the last few months. When did it become “un-lady-like” to pass the door to the person behind you?



BS. "teach her?" Does she come running with her tail wagging when you whistle? Will she roll over and fetch on command? See how little and trivial this thinking mode is?

I open the door for anybody, but take no offense if it is opened for me, or opened and not held at all. How fucking trivial. I open doors for my woman, and sometimes she gets it first. No big deal.

Cupping and squeezing is also a common courtesy.

Gee fucking whiz.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:18:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By prk:
[highjack]Another on that annoys me is when someone passes by, then cuts into the space you need for your own feet. My solution is, either give them an "exuuuse me" or I just don't break stride unless its a small child or an old geezer / geezette. If there's contact, so be it.

Same for the jerks who put themselves in your path and make no sign of mutual accomodation the closer you get. Kind of like pedestrian "chicken". Maybe they're just starved for contact. OK with me.

As you can tell, I'm in the city now. I miss the part of the country where total strangers would wave on the back roads.
[/hijack]



+1 on this. I sometimes reach up and scratch my left shoulder with my left hand, so they end up with an elbow to the face if they don't pay attention.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:22:44 PM EDT
Do you people keep forgetting that women are bitches? Anybody read my posts? Women are bitches, deal with it appropriately.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:34:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:
As we all know there are asshats in all shapes and sizes. Women who do not practice good manners are just that asshats. Please do not let this interrupt your good manners. Bravo for teaching the gf whats right and whats wrong.

I'm amazed at how many people [typically woman] who will litterally walk over the top of me when I'm walking down a street. I understand that people get in a hurry and typically when I'm walking down the street I'm checking things out, taking my time [I don't get out much!] and this could be annoying but I'm more than ready to step a side, give the way. However I'm not a little person. It amazes me when particularly petite women come barreling down the side walk straight at me, refusing to give way. I snicker everytime it happens because there's a small person inside of me [kinda looks like this...] that just wants to knock them on their arse and say "Oh, excuse me, I guess I didn't see you." But I don't - I try to step aside.

Patty




Patty I'd stop and get out of your way if I saw you coming.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:35:31 PM EDT
To not realize that common courtesy/manners took the last train from Yuma some time ago is not to have operated a motor vehicle in any traffic for some time. The more I drive, the more convinced I am that the moron squad has grown in numbers considerably in the past several years.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 3:38:56 PM EDT
I was raised with manners as well, so I hold doors for people-female or male.

It's becoming common that women-obviously NOT taught well by their MOTHERS-will not thank you for holding a door. When that happens I just say "You're welcome" as they walk by.

Whenever I hold a door for a female my response to their thanks is generally equal to their enthusiasm in expressing their thanks. If a woman just says, "Thanks" I just say "You're welcome." If someone says, "Well, thank you very much" I ALWAYS say, "My pleasure".

I, too, encountered quite a few unmannered scags women in northern PRK-specifically the financial district in SF (where you'd think people were well schooled and at least partially mannered) that either gave no acknowledgement for my holding a door for them or even the feminazi "You don't need to hold a door for ME" bullshit. I actually said, "Well, fuck you then" to a couple of them.

Manners and consideration-long lost causes that were once a trademark of civilization.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:08:56 PM EDT
Not a male/female thing at all: it's a person thing.

I always hold doors for people. I also pick up things when folks drop them unnoticed or they are incapacitated with too many things/kids to do it themselves. I've opened doors for disabled folks and have gotten things off top shelves at the supermarket for the folks who are short....uh...vertically challenged. I even pick up things off the floor and hang them back on the racks in stores.

It's all how you're raised, my friend.

I've had people do the rude "let the door close" in my face and I've had people not thank me when I hold it for them. I usually answer both with a sickeningly sweet, high pitched, "Why THANK YOU!!!"

This is New England...they usually grunt back "you're welcome" totally clueless that they were hi twith sarcasm...

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 4:11:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SNorman:
Do you people keep forgetting that women are bitches? Anybody read my posts? Women are bitches, deal with it appropriately.



The best way to deal with it is to shut yer whiny yap and fix me a sammich, bub.


Link Posted: 9/28/2005 6:30:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SNorman:
Do you people keep forgetting that women are bitches? Anybody read my posts? Women are bitches, deal with it appropriately.


With that attitude, I am surprised that any woman would give you the time of day.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:09:12 PM EDT
tag
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 7:30:29 PM EDT
I hold doors open for everybody as well, it is just a habit at this point. Most people smile and say thank you .

I saw a good instance of common courtesy and females one night. We were at a bar and were talking with a group of girls. One asks my roommate if he would get her a cup of water from the bar. He said he would next time he went up there. She says " I meant for you to go get me a cup of water NOW if you want to keep talking to me". He smiled and turned around for the bar. Me and the other guy with us gave each other our best "we aren't going to be here long" looks. While he was at the bar the girl actually said "I can get a man to do anything I want". She didn't know my buddy was from the backwoods of WV and would easily be declared legally insane He comes back with the plastic dixie cup of ice water and as she reaches for it he crushed the cup as he flung it on her The look on her face was priceless as she stood there soaking wet, in my top 10 of moments witnessed for sure.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:13:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By modog:

Originally Posted By Combat_Jack:
Every time I offer my jaket to a female aquaintance or hold a door for someone, they act like I am trying to get into their pants.



Well aren't you??



Some of the time......but there are a lot ot fugly girls here.....I know fugly girls need lovin' too, but I ain't man enough to help!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:42:08 PM EDT
I worked in a state building with small elevators. I was pushing a cart of equipment that had to be against the back wall for the door to close. I'd guess 85% of the time I'd get to the floor where I was getting off and the women would be trying to shove their way into the car ignoring 'ladies if you let me off, you'll be able to get in'. They'd give me that deer in the headlights look and keep shoving.

Yes, I hold and open doors for people but I'm over 55.
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 3:23:43 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/29/2005 3:24:14 AM EDT by PlaymoreMinds]

Originally Posted By Tallbob:
I worked in a state building with small elevators. I was pushing a cart of equipment that had to be against the back wall for the door to close. I'd guess 85% of the time I'd get to the floor where I was getting off and the women would be trying to shove their way into the car ignoring 'ladies if you let me off, you'll be able to get in'. They'd give me that deer in the headlights look and keep shoving.

Yes, I hold and open doors for people but I'm over 55.



You have no dumb rude men left in PA???

Drive over to Philly...Expand yer horizons!

As a Philly chick who is under 40, I can say I hold the doors as well.
Age/gender nonwithstanding...Rudeness is taught not carried on chromosomes!


Link Posted: 9/29/2005 3:35:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By A_G:
The age of chivalry died a long, long time ago.

Very few women are ladies these days, and I don't go out of my way to be a "gentleman" for this exact reason. They want equality, I'll give it to them...I very rarely hold doors open, let them pass first, give up my seat, etc.


eh, don't do the right thing for thanks, just do it cuz it's right. if folks can't appreciate a simple civil gesture fuck them and the horse they rode in on.

easy to say, hard to do. and don't say "you're welcome" cuz that usually just leads to heated words and me putting a choke hold on someone's sorry rude ass.
Link Posted: 9/29/2005 5:06:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By brouhaha:
I love telling this story:

When I was in college, one of the administration buildings had an extremely heavy wooden door on overly strong springs. It wasn't easy to open.

Being a man, I always hold doors open for women, ESPECIALLY this one, which many women had trouble with.

One day, I walk through the door and notice a fairly small, cute girl behind me, so I get behind the open door and hold it for her.

Halfway through, she stops and chews me out...the whole equality crap and how I was a sexist for holding the door open for her.

So...I let it go. The look on her face as the door hit her and pushed her back outside was priceless.



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