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Posted: 4/15/2006 9:23:53 PM EST
This would be a question for the older arfcommers, I am thinking like 50+. I respect my elders (when they deserve it ) because they have experienced more life and they just know more than us younger people can when they want to, and have learned the lessons that life has presented them. I am a younger kid, mid twenties, and I just want to know when you are looking back on your life what is it that you wish you had done and what is it that you wish you hadn't.

I know that is a broad question, but I guess I am looking for broad answers. I just had a birthday and it is really impacting me above and beyond what I thought it would in reflections upon my life and decisions of where I want to go from here.

Thanks.
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 9:29:58 PM EST
Tag.

At 38, I figure I still have time to turn this ship around.
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 9:43:30 PM EST

I am a younger kid, mid twenties, and I just want to know when you are looking back on your life what is it that you wish you had done and what is it that you wish you hadn't.



Age doesn't really mean experience if you haven't learned yet to jump on oppurtunities when they arise.

Also, some of your dumbest decisions in life can have great impacts down the road.

If you're hard working and have a good ethic, anything is within your grasp..and you will make it.

Try not to have to much time on yer hands, makes you think stupid stuff, stay busy.

And honestly, quit thinking about this crap and go get some tail. Believe me, when your 15-20 years older THEN YOUR'RE GONNA REGRET SOMETHING



Link Posted: 4/15/2006 9:43:32 PM EST

Originally Posted By Rickyj:
This would be a question for the older arfcommers, I am thinking like 50+. I respect my elders (when they deserve it ) because they have experienced more life and they just know more than us younger people can when they want to, and have learned the lessons that life has presented them. I am a younger kid, mid twenties, and I just want to know when you are looking back on your life what is it that you wish you had done and what is it that you wish you hadn't.

I know that is a broad question, but I guess I am looking for broad answers. I just had a birthday and it is really impacting me above and beyond what I thought it would in reflections upon my life and decisions of where I want to go from here.

Thanks.



And here I thought all you young whippersnappers thought they knew it all .

I could have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had become a Christian much earlier in life. I am glad I went to college, have been married 33 years, and have seen our children grow up and be successful. Can't think of too much I regret not doing - too many aches & pains anymore to want to try things I haven't done like bunji jumping, skydiving, bullriding. Only thing I regret not doing was becoming a smokejumper; I had to quit the training and go to work fulltime to support my family after my dad died when I was in highschool.

I hope the best for you as you decide where you are going in life.

NMSight
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 10:01:28 PM EST

Originally Posted By ConservativeRifleman:

I am a younger kid, mid twenties, and I just want to know when you are looking back on your life what is it that you wish you had done and what is it that you wish you hadn't.



Age doesn't really mean experience if you haven't learned yet to jump on oppurtunities when they arise.

Also, some of your dumbest decisions in life can have great impacts down the road.

If you're hard working and have a good ethic, anything is within your grasp..and you will make it.

Try not to have to much time on yer hands, makes you think stupid stuff, stay busy.

And honestly, quit thinking about this crap and go get some tail. Believe me, when your 15-20 years older THEN YOUR'RE GONNA REGRET SOMETHING






Well the hard working part is what has me worried actually. I was raised on the work hard ethic and right now I am working hard and making pretty good money (~140k). Thing is when you work hard and don't have much time on your hands there is stuff you can't have.

I know it all comes down to taking the opportunities that present themselves, but which opportunities do you take? I have realized that working where I am now I can keep making bigger money and having bigger "flashy stuff" but it takes so much time that it does impact other areas. I guess I am worried that I am working so much for this "dream from tv" that I am missing out on what may really end up being important. I don't want to end up being some miserable millionaire because I was chasing the idea that was implanted in me as a kid.
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 10:07:30 PM EST
[Last Edit: 4/15/2006 10:08:10 PM EST by QUIB]

Originally Posted By Rickyj:

Well the hard working part is what has me worried actually. I was raised on the work hard ethic and right now I am working hard and making pretty good money (~140k).




140k!!!! Maybe you can teach this 40 year old where I went wrong!
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 10:23:02 PM EST

Originally Posted By QUIB:

Originally Posted By Rickyj:

Well the hard working part is what has me worried actually. I was raised on the work hard ethic and right now I am working hard and making pretty good money (~140k).




140k!!!! Maybe you can teach this 40 year old where I went wrong!



Looks impressive and I have some flashy stuff - but due to the amount I work that is pretty much all I have. I have a girl I can hardly ever see, guns I have never fired, etc.

When you are looking back would you give up some things for more money? Would you wait until you were thirty something to get married? Maybe have no kids?

Assuming you are living life to its fullest, in order to increase your expenditures of time in one area you have to cut them in another.

How would you allocate your time - which is your most valuable asset?
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 10:55:37 PM EST
Joined the military.

if there is one thing I could change, it is that.

I wish I had done so before I had kids and gotten married and caught up in my current life.

Chris
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 11:02:38 PM EST
I'm WAY to young to answer...

But I don't think you can ever really change the way things play out. I can look back, and say, I should have done this, or shouldn't have done that, but those things made me who I am now.

Life happens as it does, and to look back and say that I'd change anything, would negate where I am now. Things work out, as they are meant to.

I am from Cali, so take this for what its worth.
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 11:14:57 PM EST
Several things I would have done different:

I would have accepted Annapolis when it was offered in boot camp.

I would have made the Navy a career and retired 7 years ago with 30 in.

I would never have started smoking.

Link Posted: 4/15/2006 11:29:03 PM EST
I would have taken better care of myself. 30 Yrs. of hard physical labor, (Mining).

Mentally I'm as quick as ever, but physically, I'm an old man. It's a real bitch when your body wears out before it should........

Bottom line, take care of your health, with out it, very little else matters....
Link Posted: 4/15/2006 11:32:48 PM EST
Maybe this will help: Always do the right thing. Remember the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments. Help others succeed.

And this: Buy low, sell high.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 3:07:29 AM EST
47yr old here....

Regrets? I don't dwell on them enough to recall them.

I'll offer something though. NO ONE is responsible for your retirement except you. Of that $140k do you SAVE 20% every year for long term? Put it away & invest NOW, let it grow & don't touch it. Minimize your debt too. You'll have no regrets when you are old enough to offer this same advice.

I saved/invested starting when I was 20. IRA, 401k + stocks. I can retire now at the young age of 47 & live comfortably. I'll keep working awhile longer because I make pretty darn good money as you do.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 3:14:30 AM EST
tagged for good insight from our wiser members...

EPOCH
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 3:31:50 AM EST
Some older people have learned from their life experience,many are just the same old dumbasses thay were when they were younger.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 3:44:18 AM EST
[Last Edit: 4/16/2006 3:45:02 AM EST by JFP]
not too have married my first wife. I don't pay child support or alimony it was just seven years bad ju-ju
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 3:59:32 AM EST
Chronological age in no way equates to wisdom. One of my biggest disappointments in life was realizing that just because people get old doesn't mean they quit being stupid. Truth is they get real good at it and have more resources to screw things up. At 54 my advice: don't start something that you know you will have to quit before it destroys you (smoking, drinking, ect). The body you have today is the same one you will have in forty or so years. Don't fuck it up.
Pay off your credit cards every month. Never cheat on your spouse. No good ever comes out of it. Live each day under the assumption you will be dead tomorrow. Having been hit by lightning and crushed by a Humvee I know you don't have time to fix things up before the lights go out. Treat every person with respect and the dignity with which you expect to be treated. I still don't quite have a handle on this Christian thing but I'm working on it.

rk
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 4:09:53 AM EST
[Last Edit: 4/16/2006 5:50:41 AM EST by Rodent]
Hmm, I'm close to your 50 cut-off. Things I wish I'd done differently:


Not allowed myself to be too concerned about what in retrospect were minor things.

Not gotten married.

Been kinder to people in general.

Not "trifled with the affections" of women, and not allowed them to trifle with mine.

Lived a simpler life with fewer possessions.

Not been so concerned about climbing the career ladder.

Invested more consistently, and at an earlier age.

Not listened to the moralizing of self-righteous types, or accepted "facts" without evidence, or at least applying reason and logic.

Had more adventures. (I wish I'd fought in Rhodesia during "the troubles", for example.)

To end on a positive note, things I did right:

Flew fighters.

Operated off aircraft carriers.

Traveled quite a lot.

Given away my TV.

Learned to be quiet and observant, to watch what is done rather than listen to what is said.

Found a girl who is remarkably compatible, and been experienced enough in life to recognize it and treasure her.

Collected a circle of exceptional friends.

Gotten the priorites of life right, so that I feel good when I look in the mirror and shave every morning. (Well, most mornings ).



ETA - oh, appreciate your youth, health and family, learn to enjoy life, don't eat yellow snow, and never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.



Link Posted: 4/16/2006 4:18:30 AM EST
Enjoy the days of your youth. Learn to laugh when appropriate and don't be too serious.
The grass is seldom greener on the other side.

That's all I got at 48
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 4:27:54 AM EST

Originally Posted By Rickyj:
..........decisions of where I want to go from here.



Do a strong personal assessment.

Find out what YOUR goals and intersts are........not someone elses.

PURSUE THOSE INTERESTS!!!!!!........not the others!!

I'm 50 this year.......That is what I would suggest!
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 4:33:36 AM EST
Well no 50 yet but I'm rollin downhill so here goes.

Choose your friends wisely, you will be judged by the company you keep.
Choose your mate even more carefully, listen to the warning signals. A good marriage is a blessing, a bad one, a nightmare. Been in both and I will assure you, a good one is good for your health in many ways.
If opportunity knocks, answer the damn door!!
Spend less then what you make, don't ever play the credit game, you will NEVER win in the long run.
Do nothing to excess.
If and when the time comes to have kids, spend time with them, you WILL regret [if you are any type of person] it later if you do not.
Don't play the "Jones's" game. They are broke, and living hand to mouth probably, trying to keep up with someone else.
Beauty fades, bitch is forever.
Start saving NOW for retirement.
Spend time with your folks, when they are gone, you will regret it if you don't.

Never spit into the wind.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 5:12:54 AM EST
At 59 I would say:

Always follow the Golden Rule.

Have a Life Plan.

Don't procrastinate. Learn the difference between rest and waste. Watching tv is a total waste of time.

Look for the positives in life and you will find many blessings.

Care more about people than things.

Be willing to say your are sorry and be willing forgive.

Link Posted: 4/16/2006 5:20:53 AM EST

Originally Posted By Rickyj:

Originally Posted By QUIB:

Originally Posted By Rickyj:

Well the hard working part is what has me worried actually. I was raised on the work hard ethic and right now I am working hard and making pretty good money (~140k).




140k!!!! Maybe you can teach this 40 year old where I went wrong!



Looks impressive and I have some flashy stuff - but due to the amount I work that is pretty much all I have. I have a girl I can hardly ever see, guns I have never fired, etc.

When you are looking back would you give up some things for more money? Would you wait until you were thirty something to get married? Maybe have no kids?

Assuming you are living life to its fullest, in order to increase your expenditures of time in one area you have to cut them in another.

How would you allocate your time - which is your most valuable asset?



My wife and kids are my most valuable asset. If by "girl I never see" you mean child, you'll never get that time back. If you mean girlfriend, you be the judge.

I wasted a lot of time in bars, and other foolishness before I realized how important family was.
I'd much rather be hunting with my son, or watching my daughter play ball than sit on a barstool.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 5:24:12 AM EST

Originally Posted By fxntime:
Spend time with your folks, when they are gone, you will regret it if you don't.



+1

Parents and grandparents.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 5:35:19 AM EST
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 2:32:19 PM EST
Lots of good advice and reflections in there, thanks guys.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 3:03:11 PM EST
I guess the first thing I'd say is to get all the education you can. Go to College, get an advanced degree. If your employer will reimburse you for more schooling, take more classes. I was one of those guys who got a decent enough paying job shortly after high school, so I didn't seriously consider College. Now, years later, my skillset is almost obsolete. I'll make it okay, but at 48, I need to go back to school.

There is a myth prevalent. Some guys use it as a signature line. Something about your not supposed to make to the grave with a perfect well preserved body, the goal is to slide into the finish line, battered and bruised, shouting "man, what a ride!" This is bullshit. Take care of your body, eat healthy foods, in moderate amounts. don't try to see how much damage your body can take, and keep going. You will suffer immensely if you don't heed this advice. I have friends my own age who can never stand straight again, due to bad backs. I myself have bad knees. We used to think it was really macho 25-30 years ago, when we all worked together in car dealerships, to pickup the back ends of compact cars (Hondas) and walk them across the shop, or in a circle, or what have you. i left that place early, the ones who didn't all seem to have bad backs, and are in constant pain from one thing of another.

Don't marry in haste. A good marriage can make your life a pleasure. A bad one will suck the life from you, and leave you hollow inside. Take the time to be certain. If you and the girl should be married, marriage will seem inevitable. If excuses need to be made, cut and run. Don't be badgered into it, you'll be sorry. If she trys to force your hand, help her pack. The same goes for any ladies who may read this. Maybe even more so.

Lastly. don't spend every dime you make. You will have several occasions in the future to need extra money. Unemployment is one of them. Kids are another. You don't really need that fifth AR....
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 3:08:33 PM EST

Originally Posted By anachronism:
I guess the first thing I'd say is to get all the education you can. Go to College, get an advanced degree. If your employer will reimburse you for more schooling, take more classes. I was one of those guys who got a decent enough paying job shortly after high school, so I didn't seriously consider College. Now, years later, my skillset is almost obsolete. I'll make it okay, but at 48, I need to go back to school.

There is a myth prevalent. Some guys use it as a signature line. Something about your not supposed to make to the grave with a perfect well preserved body, the goal is to slide into the finish line, battered and bruised, shouting "man, what a ride!" This is bullshit. Take care of your body, eat healthy foods, in moderate amounts. don't try to see how much damage your body can take, and keep going. You will suffer immensely if you don't heed this advice. I have friends my own age who can never stand straight again, due to bad backs. I myself have bad knees. We used to think it was really macho 25-30 years ago, when we all worked together in car dealerships, to pickup the back ends of compact cars (Hondas) and walk them across the shop, or in a circle, or what have you. i left that place early, the ones who didn't all seem to have bad backs, and are in constant pain from one thing of another.

Don't marry in haste. A good marriage can make your life a pleasure. A bad one will suck the life from you, and leave you hollow inside. Take the time to be certain. If you and the girl should be married, marriage will seem inevitable. If excuses need to be made, cut and run. Don't be badgered into it, you'll be sorry. If she trys to force your hand, help her pack. The same goes for any ladies who may read this. Maybe even more so.

Lastly. don't spend every dime you make. You will have several occasions in the future to need extra money. Unemployment is one of them. Kids are another. You don't really need that fifth AR....



Well said.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 3:26:25 PM EST

Originally Posted By AZMAN-1:
I would have taken better care of myself. 30 Yrs. of hard physical labor, (Mining).

Mentally I'm as quick as ever, but physically, I'm an old man. It's a real bitch when your body wears out before it should........

Bottom line, take care of your health, with out it, very little else matters....



+1000 I should had listen to my body but I did not.
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 4:06:41 PM EST
52 and still young. I try to take care of myself and I've been blessed with good genes.

Things I'd do different:
More tail
Avoid negative entanglements (if I had only known!)
Take advantage of opportunities
More tail
Link Posted: 4/16/2006 4:24:41 PM EST
Live by the Golden Rule.
Begin funding a tax-free annuity $50/month right now and never stop.
When looking for a mate, the most important factor is how good a mother she will be to your children forever. The best indicator of the future of a girl is the type of woman her mother is.
Be slow to anger and quick to forgive.
Stay away from bad, stupid and evil people.
Drugs and booze never made anyone smarter, happier, or more successful.
Be honest in all your dealings.
Learn to live within your means.
Always pay all of your bills completely and on time.
Never borrow money to make yourself or someone else happy.
Never fund your lifestyle with credit cards.
Think with your big head and never with your little one.
Never be violent with your children.
Raise your children in an atmosphere of clear boundaries, sure consequences, and unconditional love.
Keep asking for the advice of elders.
Ask many questions and give fewer opinions.
Never surrender your integrity. Once you lose it, it is gone forever.
Pray for guidance; do your best.
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