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Posted: 9/1/2004 3:09:04 AM EDT
Okay.... I'm heading to Virginia Beach Thursday for the weekend. One of my good friends is getting married and his fiance and I have gotten close over the years and she wants me to come to her bachelorette party.
I thought, okay... cool... love Ally to death.  Chris is happy 'cause he knows I'll look out for her. Bunch of girls out getting drunk, I'll make sure everyone stays safe and gets home okay.... and has a few shots to boot.  But OOOOOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOO.... just found out they have arranged for male strippers. Oh dear goodness!  Anyone who knows me knows that I DETEST strip joints and male strippers make me giggle. I'm going and I'll have fun (always do! ) but I have two questions....1) I love my buddy, Chris, to death... but he is a fairly insecure guy and I KNOW he's going to want to ask me what happened. Ally is a wonderful girl and she would never do anything to hurt Chris. If you were in his shoes, how honest would you want me to be? and 2) Is it rude NOT to tip the male strippers? I hate paying to look at a meal if I can't eat it. 
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Posted: 9/1/2004 3:17:59 AM EDT
[#1]
First, the proper english word is "Spinster" not Bachelorette. That would be like referring to your aunt as your Unclette. Second, let someone else spill the beans about the party. You're welcome. Planerench
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Posted: 9/1/2004 3:19:26 AM EDT
[#2]
And then stop there.
I'll have to pass on this one. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 3:22:40 AM EDT
[#3]
He is the better friend. Tell him everything.
Yes, unless you are not 'visually' satisfied. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 3:24:16 AM EDT
[#4]
Cool. That's what I've already told him.
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Posted: 9/1/2004 3:35:38 AM EDT
[#5]
Note to self: Cancel strip gig in VA Beach due to MM's prsence.
 Personally, I wouldn't put myself in the position to have to tell anyone anything, e.g., I wouldn't go to the party or make an exit when the strippers make their entrance. Don't see it, can't report it. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 3:36:13 AM EDT
[#6]
always tip the stripperz.
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Posted: 9/1/2004 3:52:39 AM EDT
[#7]
My girlfriend is leaving for the weekend for a bachelorette party as well. I am not crazy on the idea of here going to strip clubs, but what the hell.....I trust her and they are just entertainers so I am taking it with a grain of salt. Have fun and enjoy yourself. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 4:09:57 AM EDT
[#8]
You've never been in the VIP room of a strip joint have you? 
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Posted: 9/1/2004 4:12:59 AM EDT
[#9]
I have been to the VIP room at a female strip club, that however, costs $$$$$$ and my girlfriend will have to choose between strippers and beer. She will always choose beer
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Posted: 9/1/2004 4:56:20 AM EDT
[#10]
Too much negative baggage with the term spinster. What female wants to be known as a spinster? MM: tip the dancer and your lips are sealed on whatever happens. Its her night and he doesn't need to know. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:02:41 AM EDT
[#11]
You don't want my opinion.
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:04:42 AM EDT
[#12]
You need to ask TRG about this one.
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:08:05 AM EDT
[#13]
Sarah, the only thing I can say is that these pre-wedding parties are the height of stupidity. THey are silly childishness and to me they are one of the things that help me decide to be part of a wedding or not. (I take the wedding rites quite seriously, and I also accept my role as witness to a marraige to be one of the more serious responsbilities expected of me).
People who need a 'party', where they engage in childish behaivor, without their spouse-to-be, for whatever reason, has no cause getting married. THat kind of selfish behaivor isnot controlled by a switch, itis ever present, and one of (what I beleive to be) the leading causes for divorce. YMMV. But why not talk your girlfriend out of it, explain to them the utmost seriousness of marriage, and the frivolity of what they are planning. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:08:45 AM EDT
[#14]
I know a guy who screwed the "stripper" at his bachelor party right there in front of everyone. For all you know your friend is having a similar party.
I would just keep my mouth shut. There is no law that says you must get involved. As far as tipping, you don't need to tip unless you get personal service, whatever that may be. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:09:13 AM EDT
[#15]
Maybe is she's lucky she will onlly be married once so this is her one time to let it all hang out. Have fun, tip the dancer, and tell him that the dancer never took his Speedo grape smuggler G-string off.
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:10:41 AM EDT
[#16]
Nevermind, Hielo gave it for me. Ask your friend why he would marry a girl who's having strippers at a party the night before she gets married. Tell him to find a better wife. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:16:13 AM EDT
[#17]
What a coincidence! I live in Virginia Beach and I’m booked to dance for a bachelorette party this weekend! Hummmmm……
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:18:43 AM EDT
[#18]
+1. My Bachelor Party was just an excuse for my friends to cut loose and have fun at my expense. I drank a couple of beers, handed out a lot of $1 bills that were being given to me, and that was about it. That is, until they called me up on stage. I won't give you any more details than that, but I will say that it was not fun being covered in welts and bruises on my wedding night, and my wife was not pleased. Of course, a female strip club is a lot different than a male strip club. From what I understand they don't even get naked, so I wouldn't have any problems with my wife going to one. I guarantee you she wouldn't have a good time. Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas... |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:20:20 AM EDT
[#19]
Wow. For only the second time this Century, I agree with hielo! Although I have been married and divorced twice in my lifetime, I take the institution of marriage very seriously. I have never understood the idea behind bachelor and bachelorette parties anyway. They appear to be great ideas for the folks NOT get married, but what are the spouses-to-be supposed to be getting out of them? A last fling, of some sort? Getting it out of their systems? Hmmm, I would think it is pretty destructive, to start your new marriage out on that sort of foundation! Where you might have to LIE to the other party about what occurred! Now DIVORCE parties I can understand! Eric The(BeenThere,BeenThere,DoneThat,DoneThat)Hun 
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:21:05 AM EDT
[#20]
What happens at the party stays at the party. Let Chris know that before hand. You'll keep her safe and make sure she doesn't get into trouble. If he wants details, he needs to hire a PI.
If you take part in the activities, then it's customary to tip. If you're just standing over to the side being a chaparone, then I'd keep my money, but that's just me. Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas... |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:22:55 AM EDT
[#21]
as long as there is an after the show drunken all girl pillow fight and you post the video here it should all be ok
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:24:00 AM EDT
[#22]
hmmmmm.
I say stuff it in his pooper, and DON'T post a pic. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:25:00 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted:
I think that makes the point that I was trying to make! IF you have to hire a PI at the BEGINNING of your marriage to learn the truth, I can guaran-damn-tee that you will have to hire a PI at the END of your marriage in order to learn the truth! Eric The(WiseBeyondHisEars)Hun
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:34:02 AM EDT
[#24]
Chris will find out about the strippers!! Neither of them should put you in a position to have to explain anything. Ally should be considerate enough to step up and tell him the truth before the party. Maybe he has issues that they need to discuss a little further before they tie the knot. Why would he be worried about his fiancee around male strippers, in a room full of hot women doing shots, steaming, sweating, grinding on each other.......errrrrrrrrrr....... Yea, umm, nevermind, dont tell him.
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:37:05 AM EDT
[#25]
And no spouse should freak out about a stripper party. If the spouse has to hire a PI to find the truth because the partners aren't honest with each other, then there are communication as well as trust issues. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:38:33 AM EDT
[#26]
Out of the couple, Chris is my closer friend. Ally and I have gotten close through her being with him. I'm not a member of the wedding party and I believe it was her bridesmaids/maid of honor who decided on the strippers. I'm not sure if it's just a generic strip show or a private party... I'm hoping the former.
That's the early evening entertainment.. then we'll probably go dancing. (warming up the booty to shake it all night long!) I don't think it's my place to talk her out of it... they've discussed it between them. They're adults and it's their choice. As for the party? Chris is my age and Ally is significantly younger so I think the term "spinster" will be very apt for me in this situation. Although I could tell some stories that would curl some nose hairs and didn't earn the nickname "Trouble" for nothing....  Basically, I'm going to make sure noone gets out of line. And I think Chris knows that and that's a MAJOR reason he's okay with this. He's not worried about her behavior, I believe, as much as he is concerned with guys taking advantage of her while she's drunk. He knows how I am and I would tear anyone a new one if they tried it....  As for tipping? I'm not into strange guys humping my leg so I think I'll sit that one out.
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:42:55 AM EDT
[#27]
There is a difference between male strippers and female strippers.
Female strippers tend to do it "only for the money". Male strippers tend to do it for the money and the fun. I've had the experience of finding out that co-workers were actually male strippers. They certainly didn't need the money, they enjoyed the attention and the opportunity to be "all over" a bunch of women whose inhibitions are lowered in the moment. Female stripeprs tend to say no unless they're bribable. Male strippers tend to go until told to stop. Much less tends to happen in clubs with female strippers than places with male strippers. Male strippers tend to have very active sex lives. I'd keep her fed with just enough beer, be designated driver, and remind her that she doesn't want hangover eyes in her wedding photos. That will keep her sober enough to make her own decisions, and presumably maintain enough decorum to not do something in front of you that would be inappropriate and put you in any sort of moral dilemma. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 5:46:40 AM EDT
[#28]
We call them "Hen's" parties here.
Bachelor parties also go by the name of "Bucks" party |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:05:27 AM EDT
[#29]
Sorry MM, but one of the responsbilities of a person who attends a wedding is to serve as witness to that wedding and marirage, to many in the world, a wedding is just a party, to me it is a solemn ceremony between the couple, their god(s) and the people whom they have chosen to be part of their marriage It doesn't matter if you are a bridesmaid, usherette or just attend. You are agreeing by your participation in the wedding (even as a guest) to be part of their wedding and future marriage. Of the 12 marriages I have attended, I fully expec tto be part of their marriage, in so much if there are any problems I can help with, either spiritually, emotionally or financially I will, without hesitation. If their marriage gets rocky, it is my fault for not shouldering my responsibility. Your not just a spectator, you are someone with a responsibility, it's time you acted like it. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:07:21 AM EDT
[#30]
MM
If he's YOUR friend tell it like it was. BUT I suspect the female code will rear its head and any indiscretions will be held in the sisterhood. Isnt that one of the female rules ? If its a club gig and the striper is working hard and putting on a good show and your in the background you should tip them alittle. If your up front taking up a good paying seat tip a little better. I suspect since the wedding party is being held here you do not need any help in regards to places to go to party and eat. If you do I am at your service. I am sitting 5 miles from the Oceanfront right now. I will be eating lunch at Rudys inlet shortly. For the guys worried about the stippers banging the bride to be its rare. I have had the misfortune to know a few male strippers and EVERYONE was queer as a 3 dollar bill. Its the after party when the chicks LEAVE the strippers that would be my concern. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:20:05 AM EDT
[#31]
 |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:27:18 AM EDT
[#32]
+1 I just don't understand the logic of some people. Sorry, but I think going to a strip club the night before you get married is just rediculous and shows unfaithfulness to your spouse to be. I don't care if "nothing will happen". To me, the fact that you'd even want to put yourself in a position that might even allow a chance of something happening (ie getting drunk, lowered inhibitions, at a strip club) shows a lack of respect for your fiance and a lack of commitment. If you truly love the person you're with, why do you even need to go to a strip club? I guess I also take the institution of marriage very seriously and I'm a fiercely loyal person. If I were at the alter and found out my fiance had gone to a strip club or anything like that for her bachlorette party the night before our wedding I'd walk out on her because I need someone who will be as loyal to me as I will be to them. And I certainly hope that if a friend of mine had been with her the night before and witnessed it that they would tell me. But that's just me. YMMV. Edit: Fortunately I've found that fiercely loyal woman I've been looking for
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:32:21 AM EDT
[#33]
I hate these sort of parties. I made sure that none of my groomsmen even considered it. I find that isn't very disrespectful to your future wife or husband to go out for one last night of debatchery. Why? Why would you want to do something that could be a pointof contension between you and your spouse right fromt he get go?
You know what I did before my wedding? We went out and hunted some groundhog and shot some guns. Nice clean bonding time. Hielo makes a good point (five words I never thought I'd hear myself say)...you are a witness to this union before God. Its your responsibility to make sure that its gets of on a good healthy start. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:48:37 AM EDT
[#34]
I agree with this 100% |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:50:06 AM EDT
[#35]
I've known many male strippers who were straight. They saw it as a way to "play" with lots of women. Their day jobs were as firemen, teachers, technology professionals, police officers, car salesmen, and other perfectly ordinary jobs. I don't endorse their behavior, just want to point out that the "all male strippers are gay" concept is a myth used by men to protect their egos. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:51:03 AM EDT
[#36]
+1 I'll be taking my future brother-in-law and his friends for a day of shooting, then an evening of bowling. The shooting part should get interesting, as they hail from deep in the "bluest" of blue states.
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:53:04 AM EDT
[#37]
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME? I agree 100% with hielo again. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:56:47 AM EDT
[#38]
Don't worry, you'll heal...
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Posted: 9/1/2004 6:57:57 AM EDT
[#39]
Tweet and I had our bachelor and bachelorette parties together. Male and female strippers in the same place with all the gang partying together.
It was a riot. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 7:09:14 AM EDT
[#40]
One of the least fun moments of my life was dealing with a guy in my fraternity who was just married and, upon returning from his honeymoon, got an anonymous video of his bride sucking off the stripper at her bachelorette party. She didn't go there thinking that would happen. But she got a little too drunk, and when the stripper saw how wasted she was and stuffed his junk in her mouth she just went with it and her friends were all too shocked to intervene.
Well, when the video found its way to the groom (my buddy), it took ten guys to restrain him from fucking killing someone. And we all took a few hits in the process. The rage and betrayal this guy felt gave him super human strength. I've never seen anything like it. There is something absolutely absurd about putting yourself in a position to be unfaithful as you are supposed to be cementing the most sacred vows of your life. I can't abide by it. The potential for bad conduct or poor alcohol induced choices is simply too high. Male strippers, in particular, are legendary for seeing how often they can 'hit it' with the bride to be. They call it a feather in the hat. I wouldn't be involved if I were asked. Just my opinion. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 7:21:38 AM EDT
[#41]
This sounds like a great compromise! I am amazed by all of the male responses supporting no party the night before the wedding. You guys have a very honorable outlook on marriage. And I can't for the life of me figure out who would want their soon-to-be-spouse all hungover smelling like vanilla-roma the day of the wedding... To answer your questions MM, if you were in your friend's place, let him know whatever you feel you would want to know. If it is all just innocent fun, then there will be nothing to worry about. However, if she crosses the line, then ask yourself if it is really worth disclosing the info to your friend. And as far as tipping the strippers...remember this one important rule... Never EVER give them the money, make them come get it... Wear something low cut and have them grab it out of your cleavage. Have fun and don't forget to get some pix for the HOTD thread! 
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Posted: 9/1/2004 7:43:33 AM EDT
[#42]
 +1 to Hielo. Wedge, I think this is a good place for Ackbar! |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 7:47:01 AM EDT
[#43]
Hielo nailed it.
What a great way to disrespect your future spouse. A friend of mine was getting married and told me that the only poeple allowed at his bachelor party were ones who could 'keep their mouths shut." I told him I wasn't going and didn't want to hear about it. I repect my own spouse too much to be a part of whatever he was planning. My bachelor party was about a dozen of us going to Wings and Things, ordering 200 wings (all hot, extra-hot, or insanity), then shooting pool and damn near killing each other wing evil wing-farts. Kirk |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 8:23:55 AM EDT
[#44]
+1 for Hielo.
The truth will set you free ... |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 8:52:56 AM EDT
[#45]
Jeepers! That is the 'Revenge of the Bachelorette Party From Hell' Story! I can imagine that one of the 'Maids' who attended the Party thought she was doing the Lord's work by taping and mailing the tape! Maybe she was! I would certainly want to know if my bride was that stupid to get so drunk as to carry on in such a manner. It would be a very, very short marriage indeed! Eric The(AWordToTheWise)Hun
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Posted: 9/1/2004 9:24:32 AM EDT
[#46]
I have to agree with Hielo and Mr. Hun on this one.
But seeing as though it's going to happen regardless of that advice, he doesn't need a minute by minute account of the event if it's all in good "clean" fun. However, I'd definately recommend you tell your buddy Chris if she does go overboard. If she winds up getting nailed by the stripper or giving or receiving oral or something similar though (or anything along those lines), you owe it to your friend to tell him if she's unfaithful. At least that's just how I feel. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 9:32:56 AM EDT
[#47]
Hey Sara think of me when the male strippers are jiggling for you.
I had a dream about you night before last...unfortunately it wasn't anything dirty! My advice if he's insecure then don't tell him anything. No need to create friction and if he's really insecure he'll hold it against her for a long time. They don't need going into a new marriage. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 9:34:26 AM EDT
[#48]
What was the end result of this? Was the marriage annulled? |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 9:36:01 AM EDT
[#49]
Great, there goes my big plan for Gunstock. |
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Posted: 9/1/2004 9:39:01 AM EDT
[#50]
I betcha will be able to "eat it" especially if you tip! |
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