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Posted: 10/27/2004 5:50:51 AM EST

Workplace Moves to Metrosexual ModeMetrosexual.

That's the buzz word, engendered by the popular TV show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," for a straight urban man who has become increasingly interested in appearance, grooming, home furnishings, the arts and food.

In other words, a man who pays more attention to his "softer" or "feminine" side.

And this cultural phenomenon for men is "moving into the workplace at a rather fast rate," according to Nancy Halpern, senior vice president of The Strickland Group, an executive coaching organization based in New York that focuses on executive development.

Halpern, who has an MBA and has been in her profession since 1996, says the reason for the trend is--you've guessed it--the huge numbers of employed women.

"The impact of women in the workplace has had an enormous effect on how men are expected to behave as leaders," said the executive, who first noticed the change and the advent of metrosexuals in 2002.

"I have clients who say to me that not so long ago if a male executive made the numbers, everyone was happy. But not now.

"Now, it's 50 percent numbers and 50 percent behavior."

And that behavior, says Halpern, means being a metrosexual, which includes "fabulous communication skills, how they dress, their haircut and posture; if they are kinder and gentler, are consensus builders and have good emotional intelligence--traits traditionally associated with women. The kind of drive to get the result no matter what it takes no longer is acceptable if it translates into abusive behavior."

The executive career coach was "so struck by the popular culture success of the metrosexual that I wondered how it translates to the workplace."

As a result, she recently wrote an in-house paper for The Strickland Group that is titled "The Feminization of Men."

It discusses the fact that what used to be called "soft skills" are now necessary for a man's success as a leader--and the importance of being a metrosexual in order to succeed.

"A senior executive in financial services was known for being a bull in a china shop," said Halpern. "He thought his behavior was OK because his productivity was so high, but his boss said it was unacceptable and his staff thought he was overly aggressive. Talented people who are subjected to tyrannical bosses say, `I won't put up with this. I have a life.'"

Since retention also is important to businesses, his bosses sent him to Halpern for coaching. "He learned to modify his behavior, to be more measured in how he speaks, to ask more questions and to listen to answers," she said.

"And he got promoted, where before they were talking about letting him go," she said.

He had learned "it's OK to admit you don't know everything, to see how much more successful you can be by using so-called `softer' skills, ones usually associated with women," she said.

He had become a metrosexual.

And that reaction to life in the workplace strongly is influenced by the presence of women in increasing numbers, the coach believes--and also by anti-discrimination laws and employee demand for work/life balance.

If being a metrosexual--being a kind, caring and inclusive executive--is becoming so important for men, why doesn't it also benefit the people who invented those traits, women? Why is the glass ceiling still so firmly in place? Why are so few women on the "glass elevator" that propels men to the top?

"Because women not only are a minority, but they also get conflicting advice," said Halpern. "For 20 years, they've been told to be more like men--and clearly that doesn't work."

Though the arrival of metrosexuals in the workplace suggests that adapting female traits may pay off for men, women's struggle to obtain equality will take much longer, she observes.

"It's extraordinary, but progress [for employed women] is happening very slowly, bit by bit," said Halpern.

But it's much faster for metrosexuals.

Carol Kleinman is the career columnist for the Chicago Tribune.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 5:52:04 AM EST
Everything is going to crap. People get more puss like as the years go on.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 5:53:59 AM EST
"Straight plan for the gay man" was a more respectable show, IMO. And it highlighted what we should all strive for.

Link Posted: 10/27/2004 6:01:31 AM EST
Read my sig line!
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 6:02:42 AM EST
I am always careful to pay attention to the "feminine" side. If you're standing at the foot of the bed, facing the headboard, it's the right-hand side, and I deluge it with attention.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 6:08:22 AM EST
I'm a Retrosexual
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 6:21:03 AM EST
It's mostly due to the fact that Human Resource departments (Personnel for you old guys), are mostly dominated by women. They set the behavior rules and control quite a bit of the hiring and firing,which means agressive behavior is discourage and passive agression encouraged by default.
Side note: Anyone ever encountered an office full of women only? Pure hell as I hear it. Even the women say this. Add one dude in and everything is usually A-ok. Personal dynamics in the workplace are weird, no doubt about that.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 6:58:57 AM EST
I worked at a place where there were a few all-female work areas. They all acted like they friends and happy coworkers, but as soon as someone left the room, everyone would start nagging and bitching about them until they returned. One giant shallow catfight soap opera.

The metro thing is taking more credit than it's due. The Dale Carnegie course has been around for years.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 3:58:21 PM EST

Originally Posted By TeuffelHunden1775:
Read my sig line!



Yes and no... there are enough "real" men (look around here) who actually go to sleep not by counting sheep, but by running through all the wonderful invasion scenarios in their heads and all the feeling of freedom rushing through their veins as it becomes invader season w/ no permit required.

Think of all of us who saw Red Dawn and wished that would happen in their town.

We're not all pussies... and WTSHTF the country will be retaken by the people with balls... Hopefully at that point we wouldn't hand it over to the gutless fuckers again.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 4:06:35 PM EST
The Pacification of America is real, but sad
The Wussification of the culture is real, but sad
The Feminization of the American Male is sad, and unacceptable.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 4:08:46 PM EST
Here's a pretty good essay on the topic.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 4:16:36 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 4:25:05 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/27/2004 4:25:31 PM EST by pathfinder74]

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
And then there are those who realize that we will be invaded almost without a fight, because the invasion will be a civil one, either ignored or condoned by the majority.



You mean the Mexican or Immigrant Invasion? That is far more frightening than an agressive invasion... and it's well under way. Damn you Evil Willie Neslon and your dose of reality.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 4:44:13 PM EST

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
It's mostly due to the fact that Human Resource departments (Personnel for you old guys), are mostly dominated by women. They set the behavior rules and control quite a bit of the hiring and firing,which means agressive behavior is discourage and passive agression encouraged by default.
Side note: Anyone ever encountered an office full of women only? Pure hell as I hear it. Even the women say this. Add one dude in and everything is usually A-ok. Personal dynamics in the workplace are weird, no doubt about that.



I work in a place like that it IS pure hell. The higher ups brought in a new facility manager. He fired all the old timers (men) and hired in his private little harim of cheap$$ (women) brain dead pole smokers.

Their all a bunch of holyer than thou, two faced, back stabbing, catty bitches.
Scratch your self or use a potty word and you dam near get sent up the river for it.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 4:46:52 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/27/2004 4:48:42 PM EST by DoubleFeed]
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 5:04:04 PM EST
I met my feminine side once - I buried it in a shallow grave. OPs
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 5:23:50 PM EST
I know in the "white collar" business of which I am involved - more men are being real careful as to their hair being just right and making sure that their pants properly fit their asses. After 17 years, this farm boy still can't get used to it.

In any organization, the "perception" of you gets you further than just your performance.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 5:25:19 PM EST

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:
That's exactly it. Also, don't forget the OTMs - Other Than Mexican, which usually means Middle Eastern persons, which usually means extremist Moslem types.
ETA - I also mean the gradual attitude change of the average joe to embrace ideas which are very much contrary to what this country was founded upon, in the name of progressiveness, such as the idea that healthcare and social security is a right.



You mean healthcare isn't a right? SS I'm pretty sure isn't so much a right as a "I better at least get what I put into the stupid thing!"

You are depressing me DF...



Originally Posted By Ops:
I met my feminine side once - I buried it in a shallow grave. OPs



My feminine side is definitely my right side... and man can she/I give a mean handjob to my left side.

Link Posted: 10/27/2004 6:20:21 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/27/2004 6:21:59 PM EST by nbjly]
What about the opposite but same thing - chicks becoming more like guys?

Lots of girls tell me how they live to watch sports nowadays, not just butch chicks either. AND - they don't cook, they're slobs and belch and fart out loud.

But that's cool, right?

Oh BTW - It's a TRAP!
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 10:03:12 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 10:06:15 PM EST
Must explain my lack of advancement. Thsy just dont care for my BDUs, black boots and unshaven/uncaring look
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 10:24:52 PM EST
I don't find it gay to be groomed and smell good or to like good food and to enjoy a nice night. I find it gay to stick it in a dudes ass
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 10:27:37 PM EST
No, oly.
Its gay if a man lets it consume his life.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 10:32:44 PM EST

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:
No, oly.
Its gay if a man lets it consume his life.


I don't know the life style appeals to me. Nice food, Nice woman, Nice Clothes, Nice Home, Nice car, Nice life.

Link Posted: 10/27/2004 10:40:43 PM EST

Originally Posted By olyarms:

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:
No, oly.
Its gay if a man lets it consume his life.


I don't know the life style appeals to me. Nice food, Nice woman, Nice Clothes, Nice Home, Nice car, Nice life.




I agree.
My point was that it is bad if a man believes it is more important to get a pedicure
than to change the oil in his truck.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 10:49:15 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 11:11:33 PM EST

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:

Originally Posted By olyarms:

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:
No, oly.
Its gay if a man lets it consume his life.


I don't know the life style appeals to me. Nice food, Nice woman, Nice Clothes, Nice Home, Nice car, Nice life.




I agree.
My point was that it is bad if a man believes it is more important to get a pedicure
than to change the oil in his truck.



ya all them things is nice, but have some balls.... nice food is an MRE that isnt expired, Nice woman is one that smells of hoppes #9, nice clothes are 3 color bdu's instead of choc chip, nice car is a damn truck you commmunists, and a nice life is one that involves lots of shootin... ya and some times i will get all fancy for my lady and go out to a nice place and even use my fork.... but lets all have some balls please.
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 11:21:23 PM EST
tagged
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 11:50:29 PM EST
what does tagged mean?
Link Posted: 10/27/2004 11:56:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By sprist:
what does tagged mean?


Marked so you can go back with "My Active Topics" later.

Have to have team membership to use that feature
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 12:03:49 AM EST

Originally Posted By sprist:

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:

Originally Posted By olyarms:

Originally Posted By ARDunstan:
No, oly.
Its gay if a man lets it consume his life.


I don't know the life style appeals to me. Nice food, Nice woman, Nice Clothes, Nice Home, Nice car, Nice life.




I agree.
My point was that it is bad if a man believes it is more important to get a pedicure
than to change the oil in his truck.



ya all them things is nice, but have some balls.... nice food is an MRE that isnt expired, Nice woman is one that smells of hoppes #9, nice clothes are 3 color bdu's instead of choc chip, nice car is a damn truck you commmunists, and a nice life is one that involves lots of shootin... ya and some times i will get all fancy for my lady and go out to a nice place and even use my fork.... but lets all have some balls please.


Lol, I don't know I prefer my woman with out the gun cleaner scent
BDU's aren't what I call Casual wear, unless your in the military if not it's called dress up, and by my feelings that's off the gaydar lol. Little girls play dress up.
Trucks are nice too, but I like speed.
Guns are grand.
I eat with my forks, knife and spoons.

Link Posted: 10/28/2004 12:05:54 AM EST
I am a Bisexual - I Buy Sex
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 7:33:18 AM EST

Originally Posted By olyarms:
ya all them things is nice, but have some balls.... nice food is an MRE that isnt expired, Nice woman is one that smells of hoppes #9, nice clothes are 3 color bdu's instead of choc chip, nice car is a damn truck you commmunists, and a nice life is one that involves lots of shootin... ya and some times i will get all fancy for my lady and go out to a nice place and even use my fork.... but lets all have some balls please.


Lol, I don't know I prefer my woman with out the gun cleaner scent
BDU's aren't what I call Casual wear, unless your in the military if not it's called dress up, and by my feelings that's off the gaydar lol. Little girls play dress up.
Trucks are nice too, but I like speed.
Guns are grand.
I eat with my forks, knife and spoons.


I think their is a vast difference between being a civlized human being and a queer. A guy can eat
meals that aren't vacccum sealed in a plastic bag, wear clothes other than woodland camo/real tree, be with a woman who smells like soap or perfume (you have got to be kidding on that one).

A queer is a guy who prefers tofu and soy products to red meat, wears clothes that you see modeled in Maxim and/or can identify designer clothes by name from a distance, and dates women (that maybe smell like perfume).
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 10:40:18 AM EST

Originally Posted By Jarhead_22:

Originally Posted By olyarms:
Nice food, Nice woman, Nice Clothes, Nice Home, Nice car, Nice life.


I eat very well. It's just that I prefer a 30oz Porterhouse, medium rare, to a coq au vin or lentil and whey consomme.

My wife is an outstanding woman. She met and married me while I was an active duty Corporal of Marines. She appreciates the attributes that a man like that brings to the table. God loves her, and so do I.

I have great clothes. It's just that most of them are 5.11 trousers and gun tee shirts. If I have to dress up, I have a few suits and ties, and even know how to tie a windsor, half windsor and four-in-hand knot. My Father taught me, because it's a useful man-skill.

My home is my castle and it reflects my tastes: leather furniture, wide screen TV, etc.

Car? How about a truck? Does a nice truck count?

It's an outstanding life.



Amen, brother. Amen.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:39:07 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/30/2004 11:45:12 AM EST by Tango7]

Originally Posted By pathfinder74:
Metrosexual.

That's the buzz word, engendered by the popular TV show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," for a straight urban man who has become increasingly interested in appearance, grooming, home furnishings, the arts and food.

In other words, a man who pays more attention to his "softer" or "feminine" side.



As a straight urban man, I'll comment on this issue.

"...Interested in appearance".

Chief to T7: "wear a clean uniform, polish the fingerprints off your nametag and badge, and polish your boots when they get scuffed."

"...grooming"

Chief to T7: "trim that damn moustache"
"get a haircut - you're getting shaggy" (before the high-and-tight)

"...home furnishings"

With a 15 month old in the house, I'm just happy when
a) I can make it to the couch through the toys
b) the couch doesn't have lollipop residue on it
c) I don;t find my daughter's cheese sandwich (from 2 weeks ago) when I sit down.

"...the arts"
I was trained in classical music and jazz. Took several art interpretation classes in college. I still find time to enjoy art. Of course, most of it nowdays involves an AdultCheck verification, but the female body is a wonderful thing, isn't it!

"... and food"
As one of the few guys on shift who can cook without catching the kitchen on fire (and who cooked thanksgiving dinner for his mom when her back went out.... at the age of eight), I don't think there's anything wrong with having an appreciation of good food, and the means and knowledge of how to prepare it. The only batchelors I knew who existed solely on tv dinners and ramen noodles were on TV.

I know how to sew too. Have made my own clothes, as well as sewn on qual patches... my dad taught me how when I was 10 or so. Cooking, sewing, and knowing how to groom one's self didn't used to be signs of "metrosexuality" - they were signs that a man knew how to care for himself... along with knowing which end of a gun went "BOOM" and how to fix mechanical objects. The Bravo channel and the liberal media spin have twisted basic survival skills into a marketable curiosity, and removed the formerly ordinary skillsets of hunting/firearms and mechanical aptitude from the listing of "acceptable hobbies".

I'm still straight, a manicure would be wasted on me (ever see a firefighter's hands after a house fire? An electrician after a day installing steel conduit and boxes? My hands are scar tissue and nails by Klien (tools)) and I'm still voting for W, despite how dashing sKerry looks for his photo ops.

And if I had the money for fancy threads? Gimme my chamois cloth shirt, my Carhartt jeans, and my Timberland boots.I'd take the wife and daughter out to dinner at a nice place, and pay some bills instead.

Edited after a more careful review of posts.

Let's start a listing of "man skills".
(Where's that Robert Heinlein quote when I need it? Paging TommyTrauma...)

Tying a tie (Jarhead_22)

Sewing (at least re-attaching a button)

Cooking (without setting off the smoke detector - cajun excluded)

Basic firearms knowledge (not a blindfolded strip and reassemble of all the current military arms - I'd accept a basic HSC type of behavior, includin but not limited to knowing the "operating end" of a weapon, behaving like it's loaded, and keeping yer finger off the damn trigger 'til it's time to shoot)

Cleaning game.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:45:07 AM EST
Don't see much "metrosexualism" in the blue collar world...
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 12:00:33 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/30/2004 12:06:51 PM EST by manghu67]
that article is so full of shit, it dont know where to begin...

i like good art and good food...

i like nice clothes and watches...

i like to look and smell good...

i like flowers...

i like good wines...

i have good communication skills, and am an excellent listener...

do these things make me a metrosexual?

i like and own many evil black guns...

i like and own a great many knives, many of them quite large...

i like explosions and fire...

i like and play frightening rock music...

i know how to fight...

i like scotch and good cigars...

am i still a metrosexual?

Link Posted: 10/30/2004 3:37:46 PM EST

Originally Posted By luger355:

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:It's mostly due to the fact that Human Resource departments (Personnel for you old guys), are mostly dominated by women. They set the behavior rules and control quite a bit of the hiring and firing,which means agressive behavior is discourage and passive agression encouraged by default.
Side note: Anyone ever encountered an office full of women only? Pure hell as I hear it. Even the women say this. Add one dude in and everything is usually A-ok. Personal dynamics in the workplace are weird, no doubt about that.



I work in a place like that it IS pure hell. The higher ups brought in a new facility manager. He fired all the old timers (men) and hired in his private little harim of cheap$$ (women) brain dead pole smokers.

Their all a bunch of holyer than thou, two faced, back stabbing, catty bitches.
Scratch your self or use a potty word and you dam near get sent up the river for it.



I've seen guys act better on all male job sites.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 3:44:33 PM EST
Next thing you know men are going to start peeing sitting down.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 4:26:09 PM EST

Originally Posted By five-star:
I've seen guys act better on all male job sites.



Sure.... look at .mil. Do you think all this EO/sensitivity training was necessary before so many women started joining. Now they're practically teaching guys how to use tampons and braid eachothers hair.
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