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Posted: 6/7/2001 8:23:01 PM EST
Well, I've decided to follow in SteyrAug's footsteps, and make my relationship official.[:)] My girlfriend and I have been together for about 2.5 years, so I've seen her through all the seasons and holidays, etc. We've been through a lot in those 2.5 years, and I know in my heart she's the one for me. She's currently living in our house in CA with our dogs, while I pave the path here in AZ for our future. I miss her a lot, She's the best friend I've ever had. We talk a few times a day by phone, and I see her every couple of weeks on the weekend. It's just not enough, for either of us. Well, I've decided to take the relationship to the next level, and ask her to marry me. We've talked about it, and I know she'll say yes, but there's still that crazy feeling inside of me since I've never done anything like this before. I have the ring that my Dad gave my Mom when he proposed to her. I plan to use the diamond from this ring, and have it re-set in a Platinum band, with a smaller diamond to each side of it. She knows this is the ring she'll eventually get, but neither of us know the specifics of how it's going to happen. [*]I'm not sure whether to give her the ring as it is, then we go together to a jeweler together to pick out exactly what we want the new ring to look like, Or if I should try to get it set how I think she would want it, then ask her. It seems to make more sense to give her the ring as-is first, but is that too cheesy? To give someone a ring just so they'll be without it while the new one is being made? Like I said, I've never done this before, and I'll hopefully never do it again, I just want to do it right. I'd like to ask her next weekend, when we'll be together for a couple days. That means that I don't have a lot of time to get things taken care of in the meantime. It's her Birthday next week, and I think it would be a good present[not trying to get out of getting her another present, this would be additional]. Thanks for reading, any advice is welcome. [even "NO DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!![:)]]
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:28:27 PM EST
I'm still young dumb and ugly, so I'll recommend you read this: [url]http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?id=27539[/url]
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:28:42 PM EST
That ring crap doesn't matter. Here's what's important:
Originally Posted By TREETOP: ...She's the best friend I've ever had.
View Quote
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:36:40 PM EST
Frankly, if the ring you have is not too big for her (or too small, within about a size and a half either way) I would give her the ring you have at the moment, and get the Platinum set made completely, INCLUDING STONES. I promised my wife a larger ring when I gave her the one I promised her when I proposed (long story) and she has already told me that she would not want to part with either of the first two rings. When I finally get in a position to do so, I want to make a Titanuim band for me, keep the Gold band aside, and make a new engagement ring (her choice) and a dress and undress band for her. Of course, I have already picked out what I want to do for dress bands - being a climber, I will use a square knot set for mine and a fiure eight for hers. Any other rings are her choice. Why Titanium? I am a machinist and a mechanic. I'm rough on the 14K Gold band I already have. Why knots? Makes for convenient pockets to set stones in (for her) and is something unique. Why two engagement rings? Long story. Save it for later... So, go ahead and give her the ring you have, and fulfill the other promise later. Even if she wears the other one, sentiment will likely cause her to keep the first one (or two...) FFZ
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:41:15 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:46:09 PM EST
Have her sign a pre-nupital agreement stipulating that she must buy you an Assault Rifle or a nice handgun twice a year. What else is good ? Oh yeah..sex whenever you feel like it...backrub whenever you want it, must do ALL housework 6 days a week (she should get 1 day off..so you can pitch in on that day)., must have dinner ready for you after work..must keep the liquor cabinet well supplied..and beer in the refrigerator.. Must OBEY her husband at ALL times... I think that should cover it.
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:47:23 PM EST
For my wife, I picked out the ring. The stone and the setting was the easy part. The hard part comes after. [;)] She liked that I picked it out, she says I have good taste. When I decieded it was the right time, I took her to the place where we first kissed. That's where I asked her to marry me. I've given her the option of trading up to a bigger ring, hers is a 1/2 carat marquis, she told me she'll take a bigger one if I want to buy it. Of course she'll keep the one she has also. Don't worry about the ring, she'll love whatever you give her.
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:49:07 PM EST
I guess it depends on the woman, but I believe they all like romantic moments. Sometimes memories are all we have and a moment like a proposal is a special moment in a relationship. I tend to have kind of a warped sense of humor so I think of none traditional proposals. Maybe have a cop friend show up at door and start asking questions about you. Have cop not satisfied with answers and say that he is will have to take her down for questioning. Say she is avoiding answering questions. When she asks which one. Have the cop pull out plastic bag with evidence in it. The evidence of course is a engagement ring. Then ask her to marry you. She probably will not forget it. Then I would take her out for a nice diner and maybe have limousine pick you up from restaurant for some champagne.Just an idea. No Slack!
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:56:03 PM EST
I got married this past November, we went away to Antigua to get married. We took her mother who, was the only person that knew we were doing this at that time.Both my parents and her father are deceased. While we were down there, we sent announements back up here to family and friends. But we were together for seven years before we got married and the most important thing is that we are best friends first, before anything else. And one thing I demanded in a women was, she has to get along with my dog. If she was a dog hater, she would have been kicked to the curb!!. But, my wife and my dog, Sheba, got along great, she loves dogs as much as I. Anyway GOOD LUCK Treetop. (Friendship First!!)
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:58:03 PM EST
Go to 'Vegas and get married... It's quick and painless... Only costs a couple bucks too... Remember, the chain around your ankle doesn't get any longer if you spend big $$$ on a wedding... You're just as married with the express wedding...
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 8:59:02 PM EST
I had it easy. My wife had a jewler friend that she kept sending ideas to. I just had to call him up and tell him how much I wanted to spend. He found a great diamond with a great cut and gave it to me for cost. It is a single princess cut channel set in platinum bordered by gold. I hate jewlerey but was impressed myself. Keys in rings are to buy a diamond that is .X9 carats. You pay the same for .X0 to .X9 so get as big as you can. The next most important thing is the cut. Cut is much more important than color. A well cut stone will show and reflect light much better than a better colored stone. The brightness also masks inclusions as well. For rings I prefer simple but that is a matter of taste. But to answer your question, if the ring will fit, give it to her. You can go look together for the perfect setting. She will just be stoked at getting asked. And do something cute and unusual, they dig that stuff. BTW- I got a titanium ring cause I hate jewelry and things on me and this was as light and comfortable as they come. Bought in from a guy in New Zealand for around a hundred bucks and it looks pretty good for what it is. Good luck Treetop. Another tip, get whatever you can from her around the time of the wedding because she will be so giddy she will go along with just about anything.
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 9:00:07 PM EST
Congratulations Treetop. Do you want a 21 AR gun salute at your wedding?
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 9:05:28 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 9:14:34 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/7/2001 9:18:24 PM EST by vent]
Originally Posted By TREETOP: Well, I've decided to follow in SteyrAug's footsteps, and make my relationship official.[:)] [yadda yadda yadda]
View Quote
Research how much the average divorce costs for each of the participants, the petitioner and the respondent. Each of you, you and your future spouse, make sure that you have that much money that you can give to an investment counselor/attorney and say "we want each of our sets of money individually placed in an investment vehicle that will keep pace with the prevailing cost of a divorce from now until the time we may die". This way, when you get a divorce (50/50 + chance), you'll be able to afford it. If you don't get a divorce, you'll have a nice nest egg out in the future. DON'T GET MARRIED UNLESS BOTH OF YOU PUT THIS MONEY AWAY. IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO GET MARRIED. Put an agreement on the investment vehicle that says you can't touch the money for at least 35 years unless the funds are being withdrawn to pay for a divorce. There's a dose of reality. [thinking]
Link Posted: 6/7/2001 9:34:26 PM EST
TREETOP Congratulation and best wishes. The ring you give her should be the ring she will ware (it will be more memorable and hold more sentimental value). Also the place should be one that you can return to for special occasions so don’t propose at Jack in the box or in your car. Are all the 351 Arizona members invited to the wedding? THISISME
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 1:26:09 AM EST
what bosten terr said about being able to keep buyin guns.beleive me they change.my wife is very pro gun and owns several herself.but after we got married my gun buyin slowed to a trickle of what it was.now she allways says dont you think you have enough or do you really need another.hell no baby i dont need no more guns but i want more guns....
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 1:39:22 AM EST
I have been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half and have knew her about six months before we started dating. She's honestly the coolest girl I've ever met. Anyway, I just got out of Active duty AF and she's still in the AF. We have been living together for about 10 months now. One night while talking I told her that if she ever wanted the extra money for having a dependant when I got out to just let me know. I guess that was it because we're getting Married next month. I know, not very classy but it was more of a statement then a question. Hell, we can get about 500 more bucks a month! Not to mention I love her to death. I don't suggest this method of proposing. If not taken right by the second party it could blow up in your face. Like I said, she's cool as hell!
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 1:45:38 AM EST
TREETOP: I'm speechless.... Seriously, I am.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 1:46:13 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 2:52:35 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 2:58:26 AM EST
Go to 'Vegas and get married... It's quick and painless... Only costs a couple bucks too... Remember, the chain around your ankle doesn't get any longer if you spend big $$$ on a wedding... You're just as married with the express wedding...
View Quote
That was a good idea and very true. [:)] Give her what you have and let her know it's from the bottom of your heart. There is no better time than to do it now. Good luck and hopefully Congratulations!
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 3:06:42 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 3:11:04 AM EST
You'll get a lot of advice both ways. Being married carries no guarantee of bliss; neither does being single. I can tell you that if you have a chance to grab a gold ring and pass it up, you live to regret it much more than if you grab it and fail. Good Luck.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 3:16:56 AM EST
My wife loves the ring I proposed to her with (small as it is by todays standards) , and would never want it reset or changed in any way. She is sentimental like that. If your girl is ALSO sentimental, then the ORIGINAl ring you give her she won't want changed. In that case, I would go to the jeweler ALONE and get the ring set up, and then give it to her. Of course, this assumes that it is YOU that she wants, and NOT just a piece of jewelry, and she'll tolerate the man that comes along with it. Best marriage advice I ever got - "Don't marry someone you can live with - marry the one person you can't live without." -- Unknown
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 3:54:37 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/8/2001 3:54:02 AM EST by Mr Spock]
TREETOP, take the diamond to a jeweler and DESIGN your ring yourself. I did that and my wife is thrilled with it. If you actually have one made, it is ONE OF A KIND. Women love that. I dont know how much you'll have to fork out, this jeweler was a family friend so it didnt cost me too much. Also, try to surprise her when you give it to her. You figure that one out yourself, I had a rough night. Also, use 6 pt platinum prongs (if the diamond is big enough). They'll hold the diamond very well. And make sure to put some type of design on the ring if you try this.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 4:20:38 AM EST
If this means that you will no longer be posting pics of your womenz and such, I would highly recommend that you do NOT GET MARRIED. (for OUR sake !) Seriously.. Congratulations!
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 5:01:52 AM EST
Awwwww....Treetop, I'm so happy for you!! [:D] I would say use the ring you have now and go with her later to have it redesigned the way she wants it... the fact that it will be at the jeweler's will not be a big deal because she can tell all her girlfriends how you're such a great guy that you had to add extra rock to her ring. As for the proposal, I think you should make it special... maybe something sentimental for both of you. At the very least, romantic... perhaps take her to a very nice restaurant and pre-arrange to have it delivered as "dessert"... when she looks up all confused, take the ring and go down on one knee in the restaurant and propose. [i]Believe me[/i].. it's details like how you proposed to her that will be recounted over the years. Even though I've been married and divorced, I am really not jaded about it. I remember the best feeling about being married was knowing that your best friend always had your back... always having someone in your corner. Enjoy! [:D]
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 5:12:23 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 1:56:36 PM EST
Originally Posted By TREETOP: It's her Birthday next week, and I think it would be a good present[not trying to get out of getting her another present, this would be additional].
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OT: Send a dozen roses to her work, so her co-workers can see it for her birthday. My wife & I have been together for close to 30 years. Tell her you love her everyday. Whenever possible call her at work just to say hello.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 2:16:07 PM EST
Advice.....DON'T DO IT!
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 2:19:59 PM EST
WAAAAOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I just found out some big news about someone else a few of us on the boards know. I feel like a school girl who is itchin' to spread the gossip, but I took an oath of secrecy. But off (or maybe on..??) the subject, congratulations Treetop. I remember talking on the boards when you made the news, seems like you've got a good head on your shoulders when it comes to your decision to pop the Big ?. Just wanted to say congrats! Jewbroni~
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 2:26:23 PM EST
Originally Posted By Striker: Follow your heart.. you can't go wrong. Congrats big guy!
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...then again, it can get you in a lot of trouble too. I followed my heart and was married for three years before she decided to leave me during a routine deployment to Kuwait. Talk about a bite in the ass.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 2:32:41 PM EST
condolences my son....[x]
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 2:44:11 PM EST
My two pennies' worth. Take warlord's advice about the flowers. Then she won't expect it when you pop the question on her later because she has already received a gift. That makes the surprise that much more fun... I would suggest not taking the original ring apart at all. That is part of your family history. Give her the option later to upgrade to another ring on, say the fifth wedding anniversary.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 3:14:13 PM EST
Tree, Go for it man! I have been married for almost 14 years (after being steady for 3) and I am more in love to my wife now than when I met her. Since it will be her birthday, surprise her with a dinner that you cooked for yourself (if you do not know how, buy the most expensive take-out food). Nothing beats a quite romantic dinner where you can talk about how the day went. After dinner, let her see her cake that says [b][i] Will you marry me??? [/b][/i] instead of a "Happy Birthday!!!" and give her the ring. hope things work out for you. riddler
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 3:34:36 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 3:37:31 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 5:48:23 PM EST
NO don't do it. Live at home w/ Mom and Dad forever and spend all your money on trucks and Guns... No seriously I think you got it nipped in the bud. I too married my best friend... Ok, Ok my best female friend.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 9:12:45 PM EST
Thank you for the advice, everyone.[:)] I'm confident I'm making the right decision, I'm just trying to work out the details.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:22:39 PM EST
Originally Posted By TREETOP: Thank you for the advice, everyone.[:)] I'm confident I'm making the right decision, I'm just trying to work out the details.
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When you get all of the details worked out please let us know the results, etc. Things will work out like a champ.
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 10:32:55 PM EST
Treetop, I was an idiot when I popped the question. Her engagement ring carried the stone from her last wedding. The jeweler agreed it was a superior stone, worth keeping. The two of us chose the setting(rubies on each flank) All I can say is 20 years later life is good, very, very good. If she is your best friend... laddie, do the deed!.. metal and stone be damned!
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:45:42 PM EST
I can't believe this. I finally get around to signing up for this site, and I break my (posting) cherry on a thread about marriage!!! Anyway...... Two points, Tree: 1 - Someone once told me, "Don't get married unless you CAN'T live without her." GREAT advice! And it sounds like you've got this one covered. 2 - The ring: Women are the embodiment of sentimentalism. Think about giving her your mom's ring for the engagement. Then, if she wants, get another for a wedding ring. She'll have TWO rings, you can drop the same cash (or a bit more) for the wedding ring that you'd have spent on resetting the old stone, AND there's the sentimental aspect of having your mom's ring intact. This could be especially significant if/when you have kids of your own --- your mom's ring could become a tradition, handed down from generation to generation. I also know a couple who've had the mother's ring actually built into a new ring ... not just reset, but actually had the setting re-mounted as a whole. Just some old ideas from an old fart. And by the way - GOOD LUCK!!! [beer] Oh yeah, I've got 20+ years experience at the marriage thingy, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me LOL [smoke]
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:53:52 PM EST
You got it all figured out. Sounds perfect! Let me wish you both the best. (Sounds like you already have it!) Congratulations!
Link Posted: 6/8/2001 11:54:58 PM EST
Oh hey! Get some flowers!
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 8:10:45 AM EST
treetop: you once post a picture with you and two girls. one of them? you were wearing a MP5 t-shirt.
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 9:07:55 AM EST
Originally Posted By TREETOP: Thank you for the advice, everyone.[:)] I'm confident I'm making the right decision, I'm just trying to work out the details.
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Congradtulations my friend !!! [beer] [%(]
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 11:15:07 AM EST
Originally Posted By SILVER SURFER: treetop: you once post a picture with you and two girls. one of them? you were wearing a MP5 t-shirt.
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No, those girls are just friends of mine. Here's a pic of me and my girlfriend: [img]albums.photopoint.com/j/View?u=245842&a=1828205&p=24606633&Sequence=0&res=high[/img]
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 11:45:55 AM EST
congrads, but no smile? [:)]
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 6:53:31 PM EST
one word re. the pic of you & the soon to be - [b] [i] [u] [center] [red] [size=6] WOW [/size=6] [/red] [/u] [/i] [/b] does she have a sister? hehehe don't tell my wife I said that!!
Link Posted: 6/9/2001 8:21:36 PM EST
Treetop- Congrats!! I just did the same thing, well asked the question anyway! I would have to say give her the ring as it is, I would imagine she will feel very special receiving the same ring that your mother had. My fiancee has never smiled as much as she does since I asked her for her hand. I wish you the best with what ever choice you make, she is sure to be pleased no matter what. Mine told me I could have given her a ring from a 25 cent machine and she would have wore it with pride.
Link Posted: 6/11/2001 8:27:13 PM EST
Originally Posted By TREETOP: Well, I've decided to follow in SteyrAug's footsteps, and make my relationship official.[:)]
View Quote
Tree, I didn't mean to take ya down with me.... Seriously, she seems cool and if you know it's the right thing it is. As for the ring, I strongly recommend against chopping the family ring. Only resize it for her, nothing else. The signicance of the ring is MORE important than the aestetic appeal. Make it up with an anniversary band in the future. As for the "question" you can always do the public proposal at dinner thing, etc. But, I got here alone with NO ONE else around at a special place to ask the question. Consider it. In the end, you will know the best thing to do. Good luck. And may I recommend Jamaica for the honeymoon?
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