This just came out on my local company intranet…  

No joke.  

Proper Use of a "Courtesy Flush" It has become apparent from the relatively large numbers of "overflowed toilets" in both the Men's and Women's restrooms over the last handful of months that perhaps some helpful hints on proper use of a toilet might be in order: a. If the volume of activity warrants....and you all know what I mean....then please use what is called a "courtesy flush". A courtesy flush is used to evacuate "the material" BEFORE you add incredibly monstrous and probably unnecessary volumes of toilet paper on top of it all. This is ESPECIALLY true if you use one of those paper seat covers, which frankly warrant a flush of their own as they are notorious for clogging toilets. b. IF feminine hygiene products are disposed of via the toilet, please use a courtesy flush for them as well. These products are also notorious for clogging toilets, and any efforts on the individual's part to minimize this would be a good thing. c. If you do clog a toilet, please have the courtesy to unclog the toilet with the plunger that is SUPPOSED to be in each of the restrooms. You look around and don't see one...panic is setting in....don't worry....keep calm.....it probably just migrated to the other restroom....go ahead and retrieve it and use it on the problem. Expecting someone else to unclog your "issue" is NOT a good thing. Getting a good seal between the plunger and the bottom of the toilet is the key. d. If, after trying to unclog the toilet yourself, you find you are unsuccessful...try again. Then....by all means let the 3rd Floor Front Desk know so that a professional can be called. e. Holding the handle down so that more than the prescribed amount of water flows in to the bowl is NOT a good thing. If you flush normal and "it" doesn't go down the first time.....it's clogged. You just have to accept that fact and get on with your life....which means you go get the plunger. Flushing multiple times or holding the handle down with the misguided belief that "this will surely move the monster down" will only lead to heartbreak and is what puts "nasty water" on the floor. Plunge FIRST....then flush again....and nine times out of ten you have solved your own problem. I hope that this refresher on how to use a toilet has been helpful to you. Your attention to this otherwise simple matter will be greatly appreciated by everyone else who uses the restrooms. XXXX {facilities Manager}

Yeah someone is really going to call maintenance and own up to clogging the toilet.

Quoted: This just came out on my local company intranet…   No joke.   Proper Use of a "Courtesy Flush" It has become apparent from the relatively large numbers of "overflowed toilets" in both the Men's and Women's restrooms over the last handful of months that perhaps some helpful hints on proper use of a toilet might be in order: a. If the volume of activity warrants....and you all know what I mean....then please use what is called a "courtesy flush". A courtesy flush is used to evacuate "the material" BEFORE you add incredibly monstrous and probably unnecessary volumes of toilet paper on top of it all. This is ESPECIALLY true if you use one of those paper seat covers, which frankly warrant a flush of their own as they are notorious for clogging toilets. b. IF feminine hygiene products are disposed of via the toilet, please use a courtesy flush for them as well. These products are also notorious for clogging toilets, and any efforts on the individual's part to minimize this would be a good thing. c. If you do clog a toilet, please have the courtesy to unclog the toilet with the plunger that is SUPPOSED to be in each of the restrooms. You look around and don't see one...panic is setting in....don't worry....keep calm.....it probably just migrated to the other restroom....go ahead and retrieve it and use it on the problem. Expecting someone else to unclog your "issue" is NOT a good thing. Getting a good seal between the plunger and the bottom of the toilet is the key. d. If, after trying to unclog the toilet yourself, you find you are unsuccessful...try again. Then....by all means let the 3rd Floor Front Desk know so that a professional can be called. e. Holding the handle down so that more than the prescribed amount of water flows in to the bowl is NOT a good thing. If you flush normal and "it" doesn't go down the first time.....it's clogged. You just have to accept that fact and get on with your life....which means you go get the plunger. Flushing multiple times or holding the handle down with the misguided belief that "this will surely move the monster down" will only lead to heartbreak and is what puts "nasty water" on the floor. Plunge FIRST....then flush again....and nine times out of ten you have solved your own problem. I hope that this refresher on how to use a toilet has been helpful to you. Your attention to this otherwise simple matter will be greatly appreciated by everyone else who uses the restrooms. XXXX {facilities Manager}

That is friggin funny!  I love the tone of the note too, adds something to it.

Hmmm..  maybe I should send that sort of thing out on the company intranet also.


For instance:

last night we had a toilet overflow and flood several offices. The reason?

Some dipwad flushed (or attempted to flush) a pair of UNDERWEAR down the toilet. Either someone was trying to clog the toilet, or the dumbass shit his pants and tried to get rid of the evidence.


Loser.



We continually have problems with people clogging this particular toilet, and have had numerous plumbers out to ensure that it's not a sewage system problem. The ladies' room right next to it is always gettting clogged up with tampons, maxi pads, and toilet seat covers.

Stupid nasty people. Can't even use a fuckin' toilet.

Maybe the company just needs to start putting out high fiber bagels instead of Krispy Kremes.