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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/6/2005 7:50:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/6/2005 7:56:29 AM EDT by fight4yourrights]
Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks

POSTED: 4:02 pm EDT August 5, 2005
UPDATED: 4:15 pm EDT August 5, 2005

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 7:51:53 AM EDT
Poor locksmith...


Link Posted: 8/6/2005 7:52:42 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 7:52:44 AM EDT
Everyday I'm amazed at peoples stupidity.
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 7:53:32 AM EDT
IBTL
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 7:54:16 AM EDT
Damn, that will give the mods here a whole new idea for the word "LOCKED"

Link Posted: 8/6/2005 7:54:54 AM EDT
IBTL...

Woops, too late.
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 7:59:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By kikomax:
IBTL





This time it is In AFTER The Lock.

Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:00:00 AM EDT


sounds like an episode of Jackass
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:02:26 AM EDT
hmmm...google turns up a weird site, crazy Germans

www.buddylock.de
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:03:27 AM EDT
Why didn't he shoot it off?
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:03:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By gaspain:

hmmm...google turns up a weird site, crazy Germans

www.buddylock.de



WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!?!
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:05:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Oslow:
Why didn't he shoot it off?



Calling Ol' Painless!
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:07:05 AM EDT
numb nuts
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:07:26 AM EDT


I bet the locksmith never thought he would have to remove a lock from someone's nut sack!
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:08:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Roadhawk:


I bet the locksmith never thought he would have to remove a lock from someone's nut sack!




He should be on a "Americas Dirty Jobs" segment
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:08:22 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:10:27 AM EDT
IBTL !!!!!
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:16:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SPECTRE:

IBTL !!!!!




Too late dude......
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:20:20 AM EDT
I've done alot of stupid shit to people
passed out drunk, but I would NEVER
remove a buddy's drawers and touch
his sac.

That is fucking gay shit.

Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:21:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By gaspain:
hmmm...google turns up a weird site, crazy Germans

www.buddylock.de



HAHA, don't let your wife see that link.


"Honey, can I have my penis? All the other guys are bringing thiers!!"

Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:40:37 AM EDT
Callll the locksmith
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:40:52 AM EDT
I thought this thread was about some guy who got divorced after 2 weeks
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:41:01 AM EDT
Can anyone say "Hillary Clinton's testicle lock box?"
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 8:50:38 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 11:50:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
I've done alot of stupid shit to people
passed out drunk, but I would NEVER
remove a buddy's drawers and touch
his sac.

That is fucking gay shit.






Uhh, yeah. Something tells me this guy didn't really have a friend that put a lock around his sack while he was passed out drunk.


That's like the guy with the shampoo bottle up his ass saying he slipped in the shower.
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 12:31:12 PM EDT
Nice friend.
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 12:34:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By napalm:

Originally Posted By TheCynic:
I've done alot of stupid shit to people
passed out drunk, but I would NEVER
remove a buddy's drawers and touch
his sac.

That is fucking gay shit.






Uhh, yeah. Something tells me this guy didn't really have a friend that put a lock around his sack while he was passed out drunk.


That's like the guy with the shampoo bottle up his ass saying he slipped in the shower.



+ a billion!
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 12:36:41 PM EDT
IBTNL
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 3:14:35 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/6/2005 3:14:50 PM EDT by napalm]
Moral of the story?


If you're going to put a padlock around your nuts, then don't break the damn key off in it.
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 3:18:06 PM EDT
With 'friends' like that..........you need keys. I'll bet his friend left to go to his other boyfriends' place and stick a frozen trout up HIS ass!
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 3:19:23 PM EDT
DUPE

LINK
Link Posted: 8/6/2005 7:21:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By napalm:
Uhh, yeah. Something tells me this guy didn't really have a friend that put a lock around his sack while he was passed out drunk.



Good point. This dude was 39, but the
first thing that I thought of was frat
prank. I've seen some weird shit that
frat "brothers" do to each other when
passed out.

"Hurr, I'll take a picture of Dave passed
out with my dick in his mouth. I ain't gay
or nuthin...it's a prank. Durr"


Link Posted: 8/6/2005 10:31:20 PM EDT
Imagine being the one to call the locksmith and explain why they need him at the hospital. He prorbably thought it was a joke until a cop car arrived.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 12:00:15 AM EDT
THIS EVENT IS FAR WORSE THAN THE FAG ROOFER LAST YEAR WITH A TREE LIMB STUCK UP IN HIS ASSHOLE............YES, A TREE LIMB, THEY HAD TO CALL LIFEFLIGHT TO TRANSPORT THE FAG TO THE ER.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 7:25:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MuRDoC:
DUPE

LINK



Thank you MuRDoC for including the link.

Other people would have called it a DUPE without including a link. You are a a Genius compared to the dupeholics out there.
This thread has already out lived your thread because of the strange information that had been included. ..(WTF?????????????????????????????)

Sor­ry about your post having petered out.
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