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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/28/2005 7:38:08 PM EDT
By Chris Davis

Virginia Beach, Virginia—It should have been an ordinary day, but it has turned into the sound of a loud toilet flushing for conservatism. It’s official: conservatism has gone to hell in a hand basket.

Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh have desecrated a once great ideology, pushing it over the edge into extremism and placing the final nail in the cross of the Christian right.

The first loose cannon, Pat Robertson, called for the assassination of President Hugo Chavez, a fine Venezuelan dictator and promoter of communism and terrorism. His remarks blared loudly on his television show that nets an audience of one million bible thumpers.

“I think we really ought to go ahead and do it. It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war,” Robertson said during Monday evening’s broadcast of “The 700 Club,” his extreme Christian right wing television show. “We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.”

This wasn’t the first time that Robertson captured international attention, opening his fat mouth, which shows a prominence that also reflects his clout, now ebbing, among fascist conservative Republicans, and ensuring a crushing defeat in the 2006 and 2008 elections.

Robertson’s stupid comments added new tension to the strained relationship between the United States and Venezuela, the nation’s fourth-biggest supplier of foreign oil. The Bush administration, acting as if they were moderate, scrambled to distance itself from the talk of assassination. The Venezuelan government expressed outrage and demanded an apology from Pat Robertson and George W. Bush.

“Our department doesn’t do that kind of thing. It’s against the law,” said Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense. “However, it is fun to play the ‘what if’ game.”

Even though administration officials say they don’t agree with Robertson, it’s clear that they’re mulling his comments over in an attempt to hijack Americans into yet another illegitimate coupe de tat.

Just a day after Pat Robertson’s idiotic statement, Rush Limbaugh had a virtual temper tantrum on the air, attacking liberals and actually questioning their patriotism, as if he were some beacon of patriotic optimism in America. The remarks came in the lack of rebuttal on Pat Robertson, while addressing one of the bravest American mothers to step foot in and takeover Crawford, Texas, Cindy Sheehan.

“I think it’s time to stop dancing around this issue, folks, to tell you the truth. It’s time for somebody to tell the people on the left, ‘You're damn right we are questioning your patriotism,’” whined Limbaugh on his August 23, 2005, broadcast.

Rush Limbaugh’s partisan comments have only created a firestorm in conservative circles and driven a stake through the heart of conservatism. His tirade on the August 23rd broadcast has irrefutably damaged the reputation of a great ideology and sent it spiraling down to hell with American conservatives.

“I don’t know what to say,” said Sen. Ted Kennedy. “I’m happy and sad all at the same time. It was only a matter of time before conservatives reared their ugly head. These are banner days for Democrats. Oil and gas prices are up. The elderly are starving. It’s great news and it’s become clear that we’re the ones in touch with real Americans. These flag waving braggarts have to go!”

“I know Rush Limbaugh didn’t question my patriotism,” fired Sen. Hillary Clinton. “I’m sick and tired of people saying that tolerating terrorism is unpatriotic. These kinds of people are inherently dangerous to America. It’s time to get the White House back before the whole country goes down the tubes!”

“It’s high time to get rid of “The 700 Club” and the “Golden EIB Microphone,” growled Joe Biden, D-DE. “Both of these lunatics have got to go. Oh, yes…they must go! Do they know what kind of irreparable harm they’ve caused this country? You just can’t talk about destroying terrorism with impunity and you certainly can’t question MY patriotism!”

“Don’t include me with the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson,” said a nervous Sen. John McCain, R-AZ. “You can’t just condemn terrorists and liberals like that. Things are far more complicated than that. In my humble opinion, Limbaugh and Robertson should just let Republicans like me speak for the party. I don’t know if I can save it now. It isn’t easy being me.”

“It’s just so sad,” whispered Sen. Harry Reid, D-NV. “A single tear rolls down my cheek. I bid it a fond farewell.”

“I am shedding tears of joy,” laughed Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-CA. “The thought of those people over at Free Republic being miserable has made my day. I’m tired of their snarky posts and it’s about time they got a taste of their own medicine.”

Over 100 years of conservatism has been washed away in a short forty-eight hours. The work of Lincoln, Goldwater and Reagan has been erased in this once great country. It’s become crystal clear that conservatism has gone to hell in a hand basket. It might’ve survived Pat Robertson’s comments, but with the addition of the Limbaugh lunacy, it’s now just awaiting its final funeral service and departure into the unknown.

hxxp://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_2726410.shtml
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 7:40:41 PM EDT
“It’s high time to get rid of “The 700 Club” and the “Golden EIB Microphone,” growled Joe Biden, D-DE. “Both of these lunatics have got to go. Oh, yes…they must go! Do they know what kind of irreparable harm they’ve caused this country? You just can’t talk about destroying terrorism with impunity and you certainly can’t question MY patriotism!”


This man is a US Senator...
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 7:40:53 PM EDT
There's a non-biased piece of journalism.
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 7:41:23 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 7:49:21 PM EDT
"squeek" went the mouse as it was crushed by the elephant.
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 7:52:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BadCompany:
Over 100 years of conservatism has been washed away in a short forty-eight hours. The work of Lincoln, Goldwater and Reagan has been erased in this once great country.hxxp://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_2726410.shtml



A socialist's wet dream.
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 7:57:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Greenhorn:
There's a non-biased piece of journalism.



Satire.

Look it up in your Funk & Waggy.
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 7:59:35 PM EDT
That must be the reason that Republicans have completely taken over both the Executive and Legislative branches of Government.

That's not to mention the conservative take over of the Supreme Court, which is emminent.
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 8:06:54 PM EDT
The reverend needs to shut his pie hole.

... I'm just waiting for the "hookers and blow" story to break...

Link Posted: 8/28/2005 8:08:22 PM EDT


Pat Robertson, Rush Limbaugh Destroying Conservatism?
By Political Satirist Chris Davis



www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_2726410.shtml
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 8:14:39 PM EDT
Yep, Pat Robertson and Rush aren't conservative enough. We should invade Venezuela and Iran ASAP, it'll get the USA more oil and women!
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 8:20:18 PM EDT
“Don’t include me with the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson,” said a nervous Sen. John McCain, R-AZ. “You can’t just condemn terrorists and liberals like that. Things are far more complicated than that. In my humble opinion, Limbaugh and Robertson should just let Republicans like me speak for the party. I don’t know if I can save it now. It isn’t easy being me.”



Link Posted: 8/28/2005 8:26:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Greenhorn:
There's a non-biased piece of journalism.



Wrote by one of those unbiased Journalist. Bias-What Bias??????? Sarcasm intended.
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 8:34:49 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/28/2005 8:37:35 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/28/2005 8:44:02 PM EDT by Max_Mike]

Originally Posted By copenhagen:

Originally Posted By Greenhorn:
There's a non-biased piece of journalism.



Wrote by one of those unbiased Journalist. Bias-What Bias??????? Sarcasm intended.



I believe what you see in the piece is know as sarcasm and ridicule … and Limbaugh and Robertson are not the targets.


A previous example of his stuff… read carefully.

www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_2726190.shtml


Cindy Sheehan Digs Defensive Position at Bush Compound
By Political Satirist Chris Davis
Aug 10, 2005

Crawford, Texas—The mother of yet another American soldier killed in Iraq, Cindy Sheehan, 48, of Vacaville, California has dug a defensive position near President Bush’s compound in Crawford, Texas, refusing to move until Bush comes out of the compound. She’s set up on a narrow strip of land between the hardtop of Prairie Chapel Road and a drainage ditch, giving her the drop should President Bush decide to leave the ranch.

“I plan on staying here the entire month of August or until he comes out to talk to me,” she claimed. “And don’t think he can get away. I’ve got his whole perimeter covered with mainstream media cameras maintaining interlocking fields of vision. You’re gonna see me, Mr. President. Oh, yes you will!”

Bush reportedly met with the Sheehan family and other families of fallen troops in June 2004 at Fort Lewis near Seattle. Cindy Sheehan has commented that she didn’t get across to Bush how misguided she believes his ignorant policies are, or how much she hates him, so she decided to act against him.

“We’re going to bring it to the attention of America this time, Mr. President,” Sheehan said, pouring another bottle of water over her exhausted, sweat-soaked body. There’s nothing you can do about it. How do you like those First Amendment apples? Hmmm?”

This isn’t the first time Cindy Sheehan has had to slap down President Bush. It is said she’s been involved in protests against Bush since last year. According to reports, she founded Gold Star Families for Peace, described on its website as made up of “families of soldiers who have died as a result of an illegal war for oil.” It was also noted that she helped form a political group that ran TV ads in the fall of 2004 asking people to vote against Bush.

The ads were graciously picked up by MoveOn.org, an anti-Bush and pro-America group, and were broadcast in several states.

Sheehan said she wants to tell Bush not to use her son’s death as a reason to continue the war. “Why are Jenna and Barbara Bush and the other children of the architects of this disastrous war not in harm’s way, if the cause is so noble,” she asked. “The answer is so simple. Conservative chicken hawks expect everyone else’s children to participate but their own! If Mr. Bush thinks I’d be impressed and intimidated by Joe Hagin, White House deputy chief of staff and Stephen Hadly, national security advisor, sent to talk me, he’s sorely mistaken. Come out of the compound! Don’t hide behind the soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines and coastguardsmen that fight in the war on terror. Be man enough to face me, Mr. President!”

“What you’re seeing with that mom trying to meet with President Bush is echoes of Vietnam,” said Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-CA. “Because no one is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can still see the protests in the streets. God it was beautiful! You go girl!”

“I think we should move for impeachment,” said Sen. John Kerry, D-MA. Ignoring an American mother should be an impeachable offense. I think it’s high time we made it one.”

Soon to be President Hillary Clinton spoke out, urging President Bush to set a date for withdrawal from Iraq in order to honor the memory Cindy Sheehan’s son. “I’ve heard the most repulsive rumors, said Sen. Clinton, D-NY. “They’re planning to arrest her on Thursday. And if that doesn’t work, they’re planning on having the Secret Service mow her down ‘accidentally’ with some of their cars. End the war in Vietnam, Mr. President. Bring the troops home now!”

“I just know Rush Limbaugh better keep his mouth shut on this protest,” fired Sen. John McCain, R-AZ. “He’s been making far too many excuses for President Bush and this administration. For once, I’d like to see him use some moderation. He’s one of the reason this mother suffers now. But he’ll never see that.”

As Thursday draws near, Ms. Sheehan digs in more and sets up a perfect perimeter defense, making it inevitable for an appearance sooner or later. President Bush must face her, swallow his bitter pill and utter, “The loss of a loved one in the war on terror is heartbreaking, but will happen in defense of liberty. So don’t ruin his hallowed memory by staging this phony, partisan political show.”

Chris Davis is the author of Elective Decisions and In Defense of Liberty, two political thrillers from the Whiskey Creek Press.



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