Quoted: Not a spider, but pretty close:
At Camp Lejeune in 1990 my platoon was on a short break during a forced march. I immediately did the rucksack flop and fell dead asleep. I was awoken to some kind of loud crackling noise and a really intense pain in my ear. I started scrambling around trying to jam my finger in there, but couldn't get the reach on it. My buddy turned my head sideways and knelt on my jaw and temple while he slowly trickled water into my ear from his canteen. A ginormous black ant floated out of my ear canal and he picked it up to show it to me before letting me up to stomp it to death.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!111
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NASTY!!!
I get it tho...Uh-huh.
Many years ago on the midwatch during a field operation at Pendleton down at Red Beach, one of my guys, who had been dozing between "attacks" by the BGs (We were playing defense then.), sat bolt upright and began yelling!
. There was this fucking big TARANTULA crawling over the sand bags...
The damn spider had crawled over him...AND MAYBE ME TOO!!!
as it transited peacefully out of our fighting hole.
I swear, if he'd had any live ammo and no BFA...he's have started fucking WW III!
I didn't know whether to piss my pants laughing or puke. I just told him to STFU.