I would say a big "YES" to your first two.  I have well over 100 transactions on ebay.  My user name here is just a carry-over from there.  I have only sold three items there, but in each case I e-mailed and maintained constant contact.  I told the buyer I would ship the item the [b]same day[/b] I received his money.  They mailed promptly, I e-mailed an acknowledgment and shipped the item the same day I received the money.  I forwarded the tracking number the same day it went out too.  I have all positive feedback, no neutral, no negs.  I had two shaky transactions, but both turned out okay in the end, when I e-mailed my intended actions following what appeared to be a rip-off.  Both came through.  I have never lost a nickel.  As to #3, I would e-mail after two weeks and give a date one week in the future, stating my intention to void the sale and post negative feedback.  #4, I get nervous after three days, as I inquire (nicely) as to when the seller expects to be able to ship the item.  If I don't hear back, I e-mail with a nice inquiry again.  After two more days, I follow up with another e-mail, to the point w/o niceties like "please" and "thanks."  As I said, so far, never been ripped.  My first e-mail always contains reference to "I conduct my affairs in an honorable manner, so you don't need to worry about me fulfilling my obligations.  I will be sure to post positive feedback upon conclusion of this transaction, and I ask you to do the same.  Thank you."  

Good luck, CavVet, I hope things work out.  If the offending party is in Illinois and you need them "visited" lemme know.  [}:D]