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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/8/2005 2:17:59 PM EDT
When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared.

Bin Laden wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven.

What did you think I said?"
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 2:18:44 PM EDT
Robin Williams did it better
Link Posted: 8/8/2005 2:24:57 PM EDT

A Koran scholar recently revealed that it is not 71 dark haired virgins, but 71 crystal clear raisins. Slight difference in translation!

Osama will go up to the gates of heaven, look at Jesus and say "Where are ma bitches?"
"Here are your raisins!"

But I do beleive that Bin Laden will go up to the gates of heaven and be met by the 71 members of the Continental Congress and George Washington will say"How dare you defile that which we've created", and starts kicking the shit out of Osama.

Osama cries, "What is this, where are my virgins?!"
"It's not 71 virgins, it's 71 virginians you asshole!"

And the Osama cries "I want to speak to Jesus Christ", and St. Peter yells "Hey Jesus did you call a cab?!"

OOOH... I see we have cross the Pc line, it's ok to kick the shit out of him, but don't make the ethnic joke!

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