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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 7/15/2002 2:53:39 PM EST
Alright, I need your opinion on this, my brother is getting married next Feb. in Hawaii and really wants me to go. First of all, I have no desire to go to Hawaii ever! I live in Upper Michigan and I like cold weather, hate hot weather. I don't really want to spend the money cuz I bought a house recently and need to fix it up. It'll cost around 1200 to 1600 bucks total for the trip. My brother and I have a decent relationship so I don't want to hurt his feelings too bad. so what would you guys do if you had to make a decision - go or no go? thanks, Fireguy
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 2:55:57 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/15/2002 2:56:29 PM EST by Redmanfms]
I would go, but you should ask him to pay for your plane tickets and pay for your own hotel room. Cite the financial worries regarding house-fixing as the reason for the money.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:00:34 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:03:51 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:07:44 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:08:13 PM EST
Originally Posted By Aimless: I think this is an issue your brother should have foreseen, but I'd suck it up and pay for it. In 50 years who knows if you'll have the house, you'll still have a brother tho.
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You make a very good point, Aimless. That's a pretty good reason to go.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:08:19 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:09:27 PM EST
Originally Posted By lostwildcat: Question: are you the best man? in the wedding party at all?
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He hasn't asked yet, but if I go, I know he will ask me to be best man.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:10:37 PM EST
Originally Posted By mbsk01: Suck it up, have a good time, and hold it over his head for the rest of his life...lol.
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that's the best reason yet!! [:D]
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:15:14 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:17:12 PM EST
Blood is thicker than water: I would go. If you look, you can find fares to Hawaii cheaper than that.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:25:38 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:31:13 PM EST
Talk to your brother about your concerns but explain that you want to be there for him. If you do have a good relationship with him he'll be open to talk about it. I'd want to go to be there with my brother (albeit wishing for a less tourist-trapping location). You can't pick your family and you can't plan their weddings for them. I'm pretty sure he'd understand your reservations about it more than you not being there.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:35:42 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:43:17 PM EST
Tell him you will go to the next one.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:57:44 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 3:59:16 PM EST
Originally Posted By osprey21: [>:/] Is he your only brother ? [:\] Does he live there ? [<]:)] How long will you be staying ? You wanna go but... [argue] the little Lady don't?! ..bring us some pineapples. [}:D]
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yup, he's my only bro, he lives in Chicago, stay about a week, no little lady, just me. how many ya want?? [:)]
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 4:11:41 PM EST
Originally Posted By Big_Bear: Go. I missed my brother's wedding and have regretted it ever since. They've been happily married about 20 years now.
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Ditto! I missed my older brother's wedding ([i]the first in the family[/i]), and have regretted it ever since. We were not at all close at the time, but have since become a lot closer... The fact that I skipped his wedding, had really put me on a guilt trip, where I stayed for years. [size=5] GO DAMMIT![/size=5]
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 4:17:51 PM EST
Gotta GO I've been to all 3 of my brother's weddings and he's been to both of mine! He's an ASS, but he's my only bro.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 4:19:24 PM EST
Go - you may find you like Hawai'i more thatn you thought anyhow. I'm a cold weather critter myself, and my wife insisted on going to Hawai'i for honeymoon. Spent a week on Oahu and another on the Big Island. Take a day or two (if you can) and drive around the Big Island - make sure to take in the Road to Hana (it's worth the drive. Let me know if that acre and a half - or so - is still on a valley about halfway along the drive.) Hawai'i is more temperate that you will think, and the place really is very nice. Before that, I had only been in a Pearl or Hickam "passing thru," and I am happy to have taken the time to visit. As far as should you go - he's yer frickin' BROTHER. Go. I still need to whack my brother in the head next time I see him for not telling me he was getting married (like I need an excuse to go to Germany again...) I think Dad feels that same way - he found out in a letter home. Prick. FFZ
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 4:21:38 PM EST
I pretty much had my mind made up that I wasn't going before I posted here, now I'm pretty sure I am going thanks to you guys! I'm heading back home for a visit Tuesday, so I'll talk to my bro then and most likely tell him I'm going to his wedding. Thanks for all the great advice! Fireguy
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 4:22:05 PM EST
go man. I can't believe your even thinking about not going. People need to start living life instead of crying about money all the time. Boo Hoo, I would get another credit card to pay for the trip before I would miss the wedding.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 4:26:36 PM EST
[b]My grandfather once told me that you can measure your worth in life by two things: 1. Who shows up at your wedding. 2. Who shows up at your funeral. I make it a point to go to EVERY wedding I can, since those people could not see me at their funeral, It's important that I show up at their wedding. Ex- Last year I took off 1 week to drive to Prescott from Seattle to see a wedding of a high school buddy of mine, whom I no longer have much contact with, even though it put me in debt about $1000. It's important to show those that you care about just how much you care. Life is too short to have regrets.[/b]
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 4:31:01 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/15/2002 4:32:26 PM EST by LongIslandShooter]
Go. If you don't, you'll regret it later.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 7:35:26 PM EST
You need to go to the wedding, and pay for it yourself. Hawaii is not necessarily hot depending upon which island and which side of the island you are on (also altitude--I think people ski on one of the volcanos). Do some research you might e able to find cheaper tickets to get there. Sometimes there are good deals flying from Minneapolis (charters). GunLvr
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 8:01:16 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 8:04:33 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 8:09:20 PM EST
GO! And when you are there, go to Dukes. Its right on Waikiki. It will all be worth it once you get a load of all the babes. Also check out the armory in Honolulu and the Arizona. Let us know how it was. And snorkle. The water is like being in a bathtub. And the babes!
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 8:29:26 PM EST
Originally Posted By fireguy: yup, he's my only bro, he lives in Chicago, stay about a week, no little lady, just me. how many ya want?? [:)]
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C'mon Fireguy, pony up! I have never been in a wedding where I didn't get laid! In Hawaii, girls will be giving it up big time, are you kidding? I can't think of a more target rich environment. My wife and her family are from Michigan. Believe me when I say you people NEED to get out and travel more! [8D] Can your brother's fiance set you up with one of her friends? Sister? Cousin? Mom? Dude! I'll go for you! If you never go back to Hawaii again, you need to go to your bro's wedding, there! I went to one in Jamaica, and it was awesome, but I was young, too (and cheaper than Hawaii!)! I lost my tux pants. (Think I traded them for a hat) You need to get that FUN attitude out NOW. And it's OK to hit your brother up for money, or ask to share a room with the bridesmaid of your choice. You never know! It could happen!?!?!?! [sex]
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 8:43:31 PM EST
Definitely go. Your brother may never get married again (and if he does, you get to rub his nose in this one for a long time [;)]). Hawaii is beautiful, and has many micro-climates. Shop around, be flexible, look at packages, but GO. People and experiences are more important than things.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 8:54:01 PM EST
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 9:03:39 PM EST
You get NO choice. You HAVE TO GO. The nice thing is he is family and you can impose all over the place. Does he live in Hawaii? If so bunk with him. Mooch some eats off him, etc.
Link Posted: 7/15/2002 10:05:53 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/15/2002 10:10:05 PM EST by Tate]
Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1: On that same note, he would never be so inconsiderate as to get married in Hawaii or any other far-away place. He would get married locally, then go honeymoon in Hawaii. Why drag the whole clan on the honeymoon
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No shit. VERY inconsiderate if you ask me. I'd go if you could swing it, but f*ck - it's like CHARGING $1600 ADMISSION to be at the thing! Very easy for others to say "screw it - go even if you have to put yourself in debt!". If you can pay the CC off in six months, I wouldn't sweat it, but if not..... rock and a hard place as far as I'm concerned.... damn, I sound grumpy [soapbox] As for "life being made of experiences" and the "brotherhood" thing, they're true to a certain extent. Lets say your bro isn't a gun guy at all and you want him to go to Knob Creek with you and spend $1600 firing .50 cal and miniguns - is he a shitbird if he declines? Good luck and I hope you're able to swing it.
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 4:10:42 AM EST
Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1: I would go as I am inordinately close to my only brother. On that same note, he would never be so inconsiderate as to get married in Hawaii or any other far-away place. He would get married locally, then go honeymoon in Hawaii. Why drag the whole clan on the honeymoon? Are you guys originally from eastern Kentucky? [BD]
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I would have to agree here. I would fly to Hawaii if just to beat my baby brothers ass if he pulled a stunt like this.....[b]BUT[/b] I would be there... Through all we mean to each other in life, through all the fights (I win), through the floods and fires, I would do anything including body parts for him.......he's my baby/only brother... Although IF I went to Hawaii..he would pay in more ways than money....I would NOT let him sleep, and he woulndt get [i]much[/i] with me sleep in his bed. Payback is a bi^c# in a red dress.....
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 4:43:28 AM EST
Originally Posted By fireguy: My brother and I have a decent relationship so I don't want to hurt his feelings too bad. so what would you guys do if you had to make a decision - go or no go? thanks, Fireguy
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Go there, period. You'll be happy you did. And don't make him pay for the trip either, man.
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 4:55:06 AM EST
I woould go but I'd leave the pineapples . Some moron in airport security might think they are bombs , especially if you fly through LAX !
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 5:08:18 AM EST
Fireguy, He ain't heavy... My only (little) brother is mentally disabled to the point that he will probably never get married. But if he ever did, I would paddle a damn canoe all the way to Hawaii just to see it. Despite his limitations, my brother thinks the world of me, and is the most loyal friend that I will ever have in this world. GO, and be happy that you are going! "Friends may come and go...but enemies accumulate." oops, wrong quote
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 5:10:45 AM EST
Definately go. If the repairs on your house have to wait then so be it. You'll regret it down the road if you don't go.
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 5:21:08 AM EST
Originally Posted By Kar98:
Originally Posted By fireguy: My brother and I have a decent relationship so I don't want to hurt his feelings too bad. so what would you guys do if you had to make a decision - go or no go? thanks, Fireguy
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Go there, period. You'll be happy you did. And don't make him pay for the trip either, man.
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Replying to myself to add: Does the subject line include people who [i][b]had[/b][/i] a brother? [V]
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 5:21:25 AM EST
Originally Posted By osprey21: ..bring us some pineapples. [}:D]
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And wommenz in grass skirts. [}:D]
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 5:46:49 AM EST
Go. You just might have a GREAT time. In fact, take at least a week to see the sights on Oahu and travel to one of the other islands if you get a chance. I like Kauai myself. Things to do and see: -Pearl Harbor...USS MISSOURI (BB 63). If you haven't ever seen a real battleship...go see this one. Take the tour to the USS ARIZONA memorial. Worth the hour or so. Visit the submarine museum and memorial. See what the subbies did in WW II to pin the Japanese ears back. -Hickam Air Force Base (Right next door to Pearl.). See the bullet holes still in the buildings from the Dec. 7, attack. You can see the same things at Schoefield Barracks up on the Waianai plain. -Pali Lookout...see where King Kamehameha and his warriors finally defeated the King of Oahu and tossed the losers off of the sheer cliffs. The northern winds are incredible at the summit. -Waimaea beach and falls and the Banzai Pipeline. If the surf is up...you never seen anything like that in your life! -Don't know if the Pearl City Tavern with the Monkee Bar is still in operation...but if it is...it's a hoot and should be on your agenda. -The beach at Kailua...on the eastern shore of Oahu. Very nice...one of the prettiest in the world. Finally, shop around and do your travel homework. There are some great deals out there for airfare/rooms/cars usually in combined packages. You might do very well. Receommend staying away from Waikiki...very expensive and a huge tourist trap. Good luck...and ENJOY the wedding. [beer]
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 5:57:26 AM EST
Bottomline, blood is blood. I will do anything for my brother. Beg. Steal. Cheat. Borrow. Kill. This is a very important part of your brothers life and he wants to share it with family.
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 5:59:03 AM EST
You really should go if you can afford it. Even though it hurts, it's a major event in your family and well worth the money. However, the fact he selected Hawaii shows some shortsightedness on his part, and to make up for that you should feel free to cheese-out on the wedding gift. Buy him a $20 toaster -- he'll understand. And like mbsk01 said, you can hold it over his head for years to come. It'll buy you a hell of a lot of leverage!
Link Posted: 7/16/2002 6:04:29 AM EST
I would skip it unless he coughed up the dough to pay my airfare and hotel. If he lived there it would be one thing....but to set up a wedding in Hawaii....LOL Hmmm Why does he not set up the vacation time for you every year?? People like that have NO consideration of others. If he wanted to go to Hawaii for his honeymoon......have at it. The wedding should be in Chicago ( or the town you BOTH grew up in or the brides home town....
Link Posted: 7/24/2002 9:02:55 AM EST
Hi all, I just got back into town from visiting my bro and wanted to thank everyone for their advice. I just bought a ticket to Oahu ($628.00 nonstop from Chicago)[:D]. And got a deal on a condo! I figured you guys were right and didn't want to miss my only brothers wedding. I'm actually getting pumped up about it even though the wedding isn't till Feb. It should be a blast!! Thanks again everyone. --Fireguy
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