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Posted: 5/13/2004 12:34:15 PM EST
Terrorists Smeared with Scientifically Altered Pig Fat
Los Angeles, California – “Operation Pig Water.”

In an effort to discourage Islamic extremists, U.S.-lead Coalition Forces have secretly begun smearing scientifically “altered” pig fat onto the bodies of dead and captured terrorists, according to a undisclosed official U.S. source. This same official says that the pig fat has been scientifically altered and the final product is colorless, odorless and has the consistency of “water.”

“Operation Pig Water” was developed from the Islamic belief that any contact with a pig is an “unholy” act that will deny any believer access to heaven.

“We needed to do something to discourage terrorists from thinking they will go to heaven when they die fighting infidels or coalition forces,” says the undisclosed official U.S. source. When we kill or capture a terrorist, we smear them with this new pig “water” so they will go where we want them to go – to hell!”

When asked, the official confirmed the prohibition against bringing pork products into Moslem countries, but would not describe exactly how or where the pig fat oil (water) is being transported. However, the speculation is that this scientifically altered pig fat or “water” is being transported into Afghanistan and Iraq and other neighboring areas where terrorists are known to harbor.

The official went on to say that, in addition to wiping or smearing dead and captured terrorists with this “pig water,” all munitions have also been treated with the same pig “water.” So, if terrorists believe that what they’re doing will send them to heaven for their evil deeds, they’re wrong. They’re actually begging for a one-way ticket to hell!”

“Furthermore, only a few top U.S.-lead Coalition Forces personnel know about ‘Operation Pig Water.’ Because the pig ‘water’ so closely resembles water, U.S.-lead Coalition Forces soldiers don’t ask and really don’t care about what they’re doing. To them they’re just following orders. It’s our secret way of striking terror in the hearts and minds of all ruthless and barbaric terrorists who care nothing about freedom and innocent lives, said the official source,” who refuses to say where or how long “Operation Pig Water” has been employed
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 12:36:09 PM EST
where's my supersoaker at?
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 12:37:49 PM EST
And to think that all this time that was all that needed to be done.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 12:41:41 PM EST
just a couple of those firefighter planes dumping a couple tens thousand gallons of that shit all over Fallujah and Najaf
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 12:47:40 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 1:26:59 PM EST

Originally Posted By Paul:
Great Psy-ops if true.




The British used the 'Pig Fat coated bullet' story during the days of the British Empire… it sure kept those little f**kers in check

Andy
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 1:44:23 PM EST
cool
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 2:51:30 PM EST
Sent it as a press release to a few Muslim web sites and Middle Eastern News.

Hehehe
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 3:53:36 PM EST
Like other religions, there is the possiblilty of Clerics issuing an order clearing anyone who has contact with swine while fighting for Allah.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:03:04 PM EST
I don't believe it.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:09:17 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:12:24 PM EST
BS!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:23:12 PM EST
Someone needs to send that to Al Jerkazera
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 5:31:05 PM EST

Originally Posted By vito113:

Originally Posted By Paul:
Great Psy-ops if true.




The British used the 'Pig Fat coated bullet' story during the days of the British Empire… it sure kept those little f**kers in check

Andy



The Sepoy Mutiny!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:30:47 PM EST
Pershing did that in the Pilipines...threw dead pigs in the graves for the muslims....
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:45:57 PM EST

Originally Posted By TheWind:
Pershing did that in the Pilipines...threw dead pigs in the graves for the muslims....



i hear it's an urban legend.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:49:29 PM EST
All they had to do was air-drop Teddy Kennedy, and the whole country would be soiled...
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:54:00 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:55:18 PM EST
It sounds like an OK thing to do.


But I personaly prefer nuclear weapons. Makes more noise!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:22:52 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/13/2004 8:24:29 PM EST by JackBurton]


I think all battlefield enemy dead ought to be sewn into pigskins and laid in front of the nearest mosque.

Can they rig a C-130 with a big vat of that stuff, fly over some area where these shitbags are holding out and then whoop! tilt the wings and out she pours! Hell why go through all the trouble of making it colorless, any farmer spreads liquefied pig shit on their fields, just get a bunch of that! Its time to start hitting them where they live!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:25:43 PM EST
This whole thing sounds stupid enough to be real, but I'm going to hold out for some authentification..
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:40:57 PM EST
goes along with throwing pork chow mein MRE's to the people on the roadsides in Baghdad and Fallujah. they loved it, and I'm pretty sure they never caught on.

or maybe thats why they rose up?
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:44:38 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/13/2004 8:46:10 PM EST by Az_Redneck]

Originally Posted By 20iner:

Originally Posted By TheWind:
Pershing did that in the Pilipines...threw dead pigs in the graves for the muslims....



i hear it's an urban legend.



Nope..I heard it as true as well...Made the rebels surrender....

I also heard the cases of MRE's have pork products in them and the soldiers are giving them to the kids...

Can't we send our guys bags of pork rinds?
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:47:56 PM EST

Originally Posted By Az_Redneck:

Originally Posted By 20iner:

Originally Posted By TheWind:
Pershing did that in the Pilipines...threw dead pigs in the graves for the muslims....



i hear it's an urban legend.



Nope..I heard it as true as well...Made the rebels surrender....

I also heard the cases of MRE's have pork products in them and the soldiers are giving them to the kids...

Can't we send our guys bags of pork rinds?



yeah, but they would probably get eaten by the joes. good stuff like that is hard to come by out there. and I am one of the soldiers that was throwing the pork MRE's to the locals, not just kids, and boy were they glad to get it!!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:56:01 PM EST
How about "Operation Chitlins"? We just fill up a few transport aircraft with huge plastic bags chock full of chitlins(without the shit slung out of them, of course!) and proceed to drop them on areas of suspected terrorist activity(read: everydamn' where!). KA-BLOOOOSH!! Imagine the minarets all over Iraq draped with festering, ropy, rotting chitlins! If the muslim abhorrence of pork doesn't make them hightail it out of there, the smell certainly will! If I had my way, we'd let these unholy gravity bombs sit in the hot sun for a week or two before using them. heh heh...
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 1:47:10 AM EST
Operation Pig Fat...too obvious....Operation Chitlins sounds so much better...lol
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 1:55:21 AM EST
I hate Chitlins, they smell bad ever if someones is cooking them inside their house, smells like they are boiling a pot of shit.
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