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Posted: 9/6/2005 7:33:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2005 8:24:23 PM EDT by bblake00]
While you are not at home.

I should have known better than to leave my apartment for a beer run and leave her alone with my smoke grenades where she can see them. While she was fondling one of them she let/made it go poof.

I came home and saw this very interesting white haze in my crib and a very distraught woman holding a disable smoke detector in one hand and the pin in the other.

Buy the grace of god she had the sense to toss it out over the balcony after a good part of it discharged in the apartment, and to open up and put fans in the windows to blow out the smoke that was still trapped in the apartment.

And there was a lot still trapped when she finally got the thing out. Her hand is now a nice shade of red from handling it. There is a really neat burn mark in my yard sale find of a coffee table. And I can’t find the cat. Lord knows where she’s hiding at.

I was only gone for 30 minutes and poof……..


The best part is that she gets to clean up all of the residue that didn’t get blown out of the apartment that is now settled over every thing. Not much but you can see it.

She is very upset over what she has done. I will get some make up out of this, is it’s just a matter of picking out what I want her to do.

I do wish I was here at the time to see the look on her face when she pulled the pin and saw the spoon go arcing across the room the “big white cloud start shooting out of it” (her words)


Thanks DocGun. It looks like the smokers work really well.


Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:34:23 PM EDT
I thought that said nads...
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:34:23 PM EDT
Dude I thought you mispelled nads!!!! as in gonads.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:36:20 PM EDT
That would have been hilarious to have a video of.

*ping* "Uh oh"
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:36:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I thought that said nads...



Whell she'll be playing with them any way after what she did.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:40:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bblake00:

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I thought that said nads...



Whell she'll be playing with them any way after what she did.




Just dont let her pull the pin.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:44:11 PM EDT
How did she play with your balls if you were gone?
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:48:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I thought that said nads...



+1
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:50:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bblake00:
Whell she'll be playing with them any way after what she did.


Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:50:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By GC456:

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I thought that said nads...



+1



+2
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:51:22 PM EDT
It would be really funny if she burned up your apartment. Cops or FD show? Since she's "your" woman, how about making her use her burned hand to pull your "pin"?
matthew
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 7:56:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I thought that said nads...



Me too.......
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 8:01:00 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tromatic:
It would be really funny if she burned up your apartment. Cops or FD show?
matthew



I brought that up about burning the place down. She's really upset over what she did. I could bang her sister and mom while she filmed it and I would get away with it I think.


Thank god that no one showed up. So I do not think any one called it in. It would have made one hell of a story for the papers. With all the ammo I have stored and such. The 5k rounds of 22lr would put the grabbers through the roof. I live at the back of the building witch is located at the back of the complex. Nothing out there but nature and shit.

I'm still super pissed but hey it was only fifty bucks down the drain and no one is hurt. This one is going to pay back with interest 10 fold.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 8:07:46 PM EDT
Not to be PC or anything, but why did you waste $50/grenade on smoke grenades? I guess someday you might need to mask your movement as you retreat from the swat team or mark the PZ for incoming helos... I'm just curious.

I'm expecting a "why the hell not" type of answer, but hoping for a good answer instead.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 8:17:31 PM EDT
50 bucks a pop? ZIng!


I would like to monkey around with some... but not at that price.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 8:19:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By IchWarrior:
50 bucks a pop? ZIng!


I would like to monkey around with some... but not at that price.



Yeah, same here. Luckily I'm going to comission in a year and have access to lots of toys
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 8:23:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2005 8:23:58 PM EDT by Paul]
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 8:23:29 PM EDT
I think you mean 'NADE, not nade or nad or nards or anything like that.
Eh well, lesson learned.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 11:21:09 PM EDT
Great story. It could be worse (and funnier) if it had been a CS grenade.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 11:51:25 PM EDT
After the grenade incident, perhaps you shouldn't leave her unsupervised.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 12:03:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By inferno715:
Great story. It could be worse (and funnier) if it had been a CS grenade.



exactly what i was thinking. heheh.....
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 12:39:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Paul:
Who's signature is it that says "Mr. Grenade is no longer our friend once the pin is pulled?"

I quote from "Book of Armaments" (Chapter 2, verses 9-21), as follows: "And the LORD spake, saying, first shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither thou count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."



Forgot the dang smilie at the end.




I love that there is a Ni smiley here. I love it when people quote Python. I've had too much to drink
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 1:20:52 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 1:27:57 AM EDT
SHe's not blonde is she? Thanks Arvin
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 1:56:27 AM EDT
Shouldn't have a problem with bugs for a while.

Smokes tend to run them off.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 2:06:51 AM EDT
Damn. Just damn funny. No more. Move on.

Link Posted: 9/7/2005 2:26:20 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/7/2005 2:26:45 AM EDT by cmjohnson]
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 3:01:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/7/2005 3:06:29 AM EDT by Synister1]
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 3:35:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By bblake00:
She is very upset over what she has done. I will get some make up out of this, is it’s just a matter of picking out what I want her to do.

You sly dog! You left those smokies out knowing she couldn't resist. What happened to good 'ole fashioned sweet talk?
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 3:40:31 AM EDT
How about getting a little something that rhymes with "scooper" and then posting the something that rhymes with "sticks?"
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 4:11:49 AM EDT
Just be very, very, very happy it was not one of the CS grenades.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 4:25:32 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 4:40:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DocGun:
Just be very, very, very happy it was not one of the CS grenades.



+1,000,000,000

It's fun sleeping with one next to your bed. Although in your case, that's probably not such a good idea
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:32:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By inferno715:
Great story. It could be worse (and funnier) if it had been a CS grenade.



I'm glad it wasn't. I have a couple and she grabbed the smoker, thank the gods of Coble.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:35:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I thought that said nads...



Yeah, me too.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:37:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By southeast_scrounger:
After the grenade incident, perhaps you shouldn't leave her unsupervised.



Funny thing is I made that comment to her this morning while she was still cleaning up the mess. She just hung her head and mumbled something and kept on cleaning.

Although my coffee table as a scare on it, it could have been worse. It's kinda great knowing that I can do no wrong for quite a while. Or until I do something as stupid.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:38:12 AM EDT
This reminds me of Laura opening Rob's package,

And when she pulls a string to get it open, a large rubber raft inflates. Busted!
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:40:14 AM EDT
Too funny.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:52:06 AM EDT
man that was some funny stuff
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:54:29 AM EDT
Can you legally or morally smack the crap our of OLYARMS for something stupid his momma did?
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:56:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By bblake00:

Originally Posted By inferno715:
Great story. It could be worse (and funnier) if it had been a CS grenade.



I'm glad it wasn't. I have a couple and she grabbed the smoker, thank the gods of Coble.



My wife shot herself in the face with my CS. She thought the pretty blue metal
tube on my keyring was a new flashlight...... It wasnt.....
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 10:04:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TexasSIG:

Originally Posted By bblake00:

Originally Posted By inferno715:
Great story. It could be worse (and funnier) if it had been a CS grenade.



I'm glad it wasn't. I have a couple and she grabbed the smoker, thank the gods of Coble.



My wife shot herself in the face with my CS. She thought the pretty blue metal
tube on my keyring was a new flashlight...... It wasnt.....



For a while at Ft. Hood, I had a female CO. One night while on a FTX, she though she would be smooth by throwing CS grenades into our foxholes. She stood on the tailgate of her CUCVEE and proceeded to pull the pin as the truck was moving. She fell off the back of the truck into a mesquite bush and cut the hell out of herself, not to mention the massive puncture wounds. The worst part was the CS grenade landed underneath her in the bushes and engulfed her with CS powder. She looked like a bleeding Pillsbury Doughgirl. She was evac'd to the hospital. We saw her a few times after that. I heard she retired soon after being transferred from our battalion.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 10:05:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ar15bubba:
Dude I thought you mispelled nads!!!! as in gonads.



and strife


www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/weeee.php
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 10:14:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By dvr9:
Can you legally or morally smack the crap our of OLYARMS for something stupid his momma did?



Link Posted: 9/7/2005 10:18:05 AM EDT
Her nickname is "Smoke". Don't fight it.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 10:26:40 AM EDT
Oh I think I see her or maybe this is her .
Seriously here she is
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 10:32:45 AM EDT
Ahhhhh, this is a great, great thread......give your girlfriend a kiss on the cheek and give her my thanks for cheering me up today!!!!!
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 1:30:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 1:43:33 PM EDT

I could bang her sister and mom while she filmed it and I would get away with it I think.


.



Are they hot???
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 1:58:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ar15bubba:
Dude I thought you mispelled nads!!!! as in gonads.

+1, I was like "there was no way in hell he let his GF play with his grenades, lets see wtf he's talking about"

Kharn
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 2:02:54 PM EDT
"1 2 5!" " NO.......3 sir " "3!"
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