Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login

Posted: 4/21/2007 11:39:23 PM EDT


Here’s how I know I have a prob:

This morning I wake up take a shower and prepare my tools for work. I’m in a good mood, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping, then it suddenly hits me, we have no bagels. I sit there for two-three minutes just looking at the empty bag in the trash, then it was like I started going into panic attacks wondering what I should do next, and my day suddenly went to shit. Now that I think of it I haven’t eaten a solid meal in months, all I want is bagels.

So already running a little late for work I drive all the way to the local Wal Mart and buy a bag then hurry home and make two, after that I felt fine and then it hits me, I have a problem.

Now I’m waking up in the middle of the night just to make a bagel, I’ve even left early from work just to stop in at the local Panera Bread for a quick bagel. I’m far from fat, I’m in tip-top shape, so that’s not the prob, its like I cant start my day right anymore without eating at least one bagel, wtf is wrong with me? What are they putting in bagels?

Link Posted: 4/21/2007 11:41:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rosenrot:

Here’s how I know I have a prob:

This morning I wake up take a shower and prepare my tools for work.


Looks like the problem's spotted.
Link Posted: 4/21/2007 11:44:24 PM EDT
Have you tried smoking?
Link Posted: 4/21/2007 11:45:57 PM EDT
Bagels and cream cheese.
Link Posted: 4/21/2007 11:57:34 PM EDT
Methadone.
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 12:00:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ScoutOut:
Bagels and cream cheese.


Link Posted: 4/22/2007 12:12:40 AM EDT
Maybe you are turning Jewish.

Link Posted: 4/22/2007 12:32:05 AM EDT
You are completely psychotic....

you need to turn your guns over to me for safekeeping.

I can provide references if needed....
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 12:35:00 AM EDT
Well, since I am a board certified bagel therapist, I would say, well how do I put this? Yeah you are GAY.
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 12:35:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/22/2007 12:38:08 AM EDT by MagicPussyCat]
I've had a wicked craving for bagels for about half a year now, and I still haven't actually HAD a bagel since the craving began. Despite working at a Wal-Mart where I could easily purchase bagels, a toaster, and cream cheese all in the same five minutes, I have not actually done so. I think I should qualify that I've since quit working there - only making my bagel situation all the more difficult.

On a related note, I've got this deal worked out between my girlfriends and I, where they bring me a toasted bagel with cream cheese. So far, not a single one of them has delivered said bagel. It's always "Oh, I forgot." or "Sorry, I ate it."

My life is a tragedy!
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 12:39:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Mister44:
Maybe you are turning Jewish.




Hehe...

Do you have a long nose?
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 4:05:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rosenrot:

Here’s how I know I have a prob:

This morning I wake up take a shower and prepare my tools for work. I’m in a good mood, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping, then it suddenly hits me, we have no bagels. I sit there for two-three minutes just looking at the empty bag in the trash, then it was like I started going into panic attacks wondering what I should do next, and my day suddenly went to shit. Now that I think of it I haven’t eaten a solid meal in months, all I want is bagels.

So already running a little late for work I drive all the way to the local Wal Mart and buy a bag then hurry home and make two, after that I felt fine and then it hits me, I have a problem.

Now I’m waking up in the middle of the night just to make a bagel, I’ve even left early from work just to stop in at the local Panera Bread for a quick bagel. I’m far from fat, I’m in tip-top shape, so that’s not the prob, its like I cant start my day right anymore without eating at least one bagel, wtf is wrong with me? What are they putting in bagels?



Bagels are fine its WalMart that you have to give up
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 4:07:37 AM EDT
mmmm bread.


I put salt on my Bagels
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 4:19:54 AM EDT
Bagels have a ridiculous amount of carbs in them so right now they are verboten. I love mine toasted with cream cheese though.
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 4:42:42 AM EDT
1. Recognizing you have a problem is the first step in recovery.
2. A bagel has a huge amount of carbohydrates. Your blood sugars may be low in the morning. Check with your doctor or have some blood drawn to indicate if you have a medical condition requiring further treatment.
3. Buy copious amounts and freeze them for future consumption.

Link Posted: 4/22/2007 5:26:57 AM EDT
You waste your time eating bread? Girlie food.

Why don't you man up and have a real breakfast. Animal flesh and embryos.
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 5:52:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/22/2007 5:53:28 AM EDT by dogrunner]
Get a bag of live toads, first thing is to gnaw off the head of one as you wake up.....You will cure your AM bagel problem.

Secondly, if this fails, talk to your Rabbi. It might relate to the Leviticus syndrome. Again, your Rabbi can help.

If all else fails, try the nearest Mosque. You will be cured, but no virgins will attend.
Link Posted: 4/22/2007 5:57:59 AM EDT
Testosterone levels are obviously too high... recommend immediate castration. Bagel problem solved or at least made very minor.
Top Top