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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 12/21/2001 11:59:50 AM EST
[Last Edit: 12/22/2001 10:49:20 PM EST by BenDover]
Tonight is the legendary office Christmas party for my company. We are a fairly small software consulting firm and most everybody has been with the company for several years. They are having it at the Mariott this year. Gambling tables. Dirty Santa. Buffet dinner. Live Band. and the best of all.... OPEN BAR AND FREE ROOMS!! Last year one of the techs ended up screwing a secretary in the bathroom stall. The CEO put a big gash in his arm from a smashed shot glass while slamming it down during a game of quarters. Pretty crazy times. I will take the cam and get pics of the shenanigans. Get ready 'cause next week there will be a 'post your office christmas party pics" thread.
Link Posted: 12/21/2001 12:02:55 PM EST
I didn't know you could have fun like that in OH.
Link Posted: 12/22/2001 10:56:51 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/22/2001 10:48:59 PM EST by BenDover]
Yes... it is true. Freak was in full effect. My boss threw it down at a very nice hotel. We had casino games for tickets to win gifts. Buffet spread a mile long. Music was a complete disaster. But none of this mattered. Freak went into the 'open bar' twilight. Makers Mark and Cokes (doubles in a tall glass). I had 9 of them in 2 1/2 hours. I was introducing people who had known each other longer than I'd known either of them. I was a madman. I had a camera. A drunk madman with a camera at the open bar comany christmas special. After the company party was done, we quietly learned of an underground event taking place in a co-worker's room. I should have known it was evil. Evil underground parties in hotel rooms. Decadence. Roman festival type stuff... no... not the nekkid kind... but the frozen margarita kinds. My 'decadence' was knowing full well what was going to come, but still proceeding to dump TWO GIANT tequila-laced tubs of toxic death into my stomach. My co-worker's wife was affectionately dubbed 'Satan' for having brought me into this depth. Needless to say, I paid dearly. I paid an homage that I nearly had forgotten - it has been many, many years.... I bowed to the almighty porcelain god. I am blessed that this spontaneous homage did not occur in the presence of mine co-workers. A public demonstration of spiritual zeal would create monsterous office gossip. (it was gross... I ate a lot at the buffet... ) After cleaning up, I 'Superman dove' headfirst across the hotel room into the bed with my best GI-JOE battle cry. Like a dumbass I grabbed the t.v. remote and turned on Fox news for an O'Reilly recap. I highlight my ignorance because in that nirvana state of 'falling down', I had convinced myself that I was going to remain conscious for any length of time greater than 30 seconds following the back of my skull coming to rest on the pillow. I was OUT!!! GONE!! COLLAPSE!!! FINIS!!! Tweet is still laughing about it all. BTW: I was proud of my girl. She kept up wih me the whole night on her own amaretto sour quest. (Being the more sensible one, she refrained from the evil tequila orgy.) I literally jumped out of bed up at 8:30 this morning with an 'oh my God I have to do something IMMEDIATELY to counter the post-inebriated physical punishment' attitude. Jumped in the shower and ran to the hotel grill for the all-you-can-consume breakfast throwdown with hominy & grits & sausage & fiesta scrambled eggs. They had oatmeal with 10 different things you could put on it. I literally ate a whole dinner sized plate filled with bacon. I went through 2 liter-sozed carafe's of OJ and a pot of coffee in 20 minutes. Chased it down with ice water. Bada bing. Like magic.... no hangover. None to speak of. Spent the whole day mesmerized by the stupidity of the human species... I mean... shopping. Started in at 10am. Got home at 7:30 pm. I never felt better. [):)][):)][):)][):)][):)]
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