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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/17/2005 8:00:39 PM EDT
Doe eyed kids asking the camera "who will save us when blah, blah, blah hits the fan"? WTF? Can't anyone have some responsibility for their own family? Don't lock your 18 month old in a running car. Read a map before you leave for a destination that you've never been to before. Learn how to change a tire by yourself. Carry a cell phone and a pistol.

What will the next Can't Live Without item for the suckers of America?
Link Posted: 9/17/2005 8:05:49 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/17/2005 8:08:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Pangea:
Doe eyed kids asking the camera "who will save us when blah, blah, blah hits the fan"? WTF? Can't anyone have some responsibility for their own family? Don't lock your 18 month old in a running car. Read a map before you leave for a destination that you've never been to before. Learn how to change a tire by yourself. Carry a cell phone and a pistol.

What will the next Can't Live Without item for the suckers of America?



Maybe no one. Shit happens.
Link Posted: 9/17/2005 8:48:40 PM EDT
I consider the concept silly and am wondering how low the battery can get before it won't unlock the doors? I want to see a commercial where the kid slept in the car all night watching dvd movies and what not and the battery is too low to open the doors so the owner has to use a rock from their yard to open the car or truck up.

Then again, maybe I just think most of the crap in this world is getting to the point where folks just want to avoid responsability.
Link Posted: 9/17/2005 8:57:46 PM EDT
In the future the government will require something like OnStar to be provided as a standard safety feature on every car. Its just a matter of time, I garauntee it.
Link Posted: 9/17/2005 9:05:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By biere:
Then again, maybe I just think most of the crap in this world is getting to the point where folks just want to avoid responsability.



Link Posted: 9/17/2005 9:07:23 PM EDT
"BlondeStar, always on, because youre always blonde."
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 12:14:53 AM EDT
I hate the alarm company commercial, scared woman and kids gathered around the phone, "I think someones trying to break in."

Well, you stupid woman, get your pistol and scream at the top of your lungs, "Hey A$$hole! I have a gun AND a shovel. Let's dance!"
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 12:18:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 1Andy2:
In the future the government will require something like OnStar to be provided as a standard safety feature on every car. Its just a matter of time, I garauntee it.





<shudders>
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 12:22:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By A_Free_Man:
I hate the alarm company commercial, scared woman and kids gathered around the phone, "I think someones trying to break in."

Well, you stupid woman, get your pistol and scream at the top of your lungs, "Hey A$$hole! I have a gun AND a shovel. Let's dance!"




My new SHTF warcry!
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 12:26:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/18/2005 12:26:52 AM EDT by QuantumPion]

Originally Posted By vanilla_gorilla:

Originally Posted By A_Free_Man:
I hate the alarm company commercial, scared woman and kids gathered around the phone, "I think someones trying to break in."

Well, you stupid woman, get your pistol and scream at the top of your lungs, "Hey A$$hole! I have a gun AND a shovel. Let's dance!"




My new SHTF warcry!



and my new sig
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 12:27:09 AM EDT
that's better
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 1:06:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By A_Free_Man:
I hate the alarm company commercial, scared woman and kids gathered around the phone, "I think someones trying to break in."

Well, you stupid woman, get your pistol and scream at the top of your lungs, "Hey A$$hole! I have a gun AND a shovel. Let's dance!"

Too bad gun makers don't advertise; I'd love to see that!
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 1:37:09 AM EDT
The following is an actual call from an OnStar customer:

<gunshot in the background....screaming>
"OnSta....Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Yeah, hey, I need you to start my truck up and unlock the door!"

"Okay, what's going on? You alright?"

"Oh these damn looters are gettin' some is all"

"Looters? Getting some?"

"Trying to steal my shit outta the store I own!" <several pops of gunfire...more screaming>

"Okay, well your truck is unlocked sir"

"Thanks OnStar, I'm almost outta ammo, so now it's time to run these fuckers over!!! Yeah bitches!"

Do you have OnStar? We help hundreds of people everyday, from killing looters to getting a body out of the trunk. You never know when you'll need OnStar. Call your local dealership about having an OnStar system installed today.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 1:49:40 AM EDT
now that's funny right there.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 1:52:28 AM EDT

Originally Posted By dragunov:
I hate their commercials. especially the radio ads where they feature and actual call from someone screaming for help. I think it's really sick.



Me too. Sympathy sell for sure.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 1:54:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By A_Free_Man:
I hate the alarm company commercial, scared woman and kids gathered around the phone, "I think someones trying to break in."

Well, you stupid woman, get your pistol and scream at the top of your lungs, "Hey A$$hole! I have a gun AND a shovel. Let's dance!"



Dude, I just got through cleaning off the trailmix I spit all over my monitor. THANKS!
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 1:58:04 AM EDT
It's just more of the Great Nanny State.

In a couple more months, despite Katrina....people will be looking at me funny as they ask why I have a generator, extra food and water....why I carry all the crap in my truck from a BOB to spare tools and parts....why I have spare keys for everything I own squirreled around.

We are raising our next generations to be dependant on others.


Sheep
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 2:38:39 AM EDT
One time we (my PD) got a call from the Sheriffs office saying that they got a call from a lady saying that her husband has stated that he was gonna kill himself. The Sheriffs office had already inquired into what he was driving and realized it was a vehicle with OnStar. They called OnStar and got a fix on his location. They gave us his location, which was in my jurisdiction. I drove to the street, way in the woods, where he was suppose to be. Damn, if he wasnt exactly where they said he was. I approaced the car, no lights/very dark area, from the front. My Sgt. said over the radio to hold my position until I had another unit. I could see the guy in the drivers seat, still conscious but his head was dropping and then coming back up. I told the Sarge to come up the street behind the car and as soon as he pulled up he could see a garden hose from the tail pipe into the rear window. He yelled, "he's got a hose". I ran up and tried to pull the hose out but it was pinched in the window and taped real well to the tail pipe. I immdediately pulled my auto knife and cut the hose. The guy was barey conscious now and we order him to unlock the car. I was ready to break the window with my expandable baton but my Sarge told me to wait in hopes he would unlock the car. No shit, the guy unlocked the car and then had the fire dept. care for him. I got a freakin headache just from sitting in the drivers seat for a second to put the windows down. The guy was like how the hell did you find me. We said OnStar, he was so pissed off, he couldnt believe that shit. The fact that OnStar foiled his almost perfectly successful suicide plan. I got OnStar in my new Silverado and love it. I dont pay for the directions part of it, but the phone and the emergency part is well worth the money. Just my .02 cents worth.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 2:57:36 AM EDT
There is one of those commercials (dont remember it perfectly since I rarely have the TV on)...some person was in there car having a medical emergency, heart attack of something like that...the 'actual conversation' has an onstar rep tell the person that help was on the way and then disconnect the connection. Whenever I have spoken to people to work as dispatchers they always talk about staying on the line with a person until they have some on scene.....who the hell hangs up on a person that believes they are having a heart attack? I think those commercials are BS.


Remember the days before cell phones....and largely, in many states before CCW's were legal for many civilians? We all got by just fine. I grew up in NJ....so no gun. Was way before cell phones.
I always had change in my car, a blanket and tool box in the trunk, a set of maps in the glove box, a flashlight, and probably the most important thing - a clue in my head as to how to handle stuff that came up along the way.

People have gotten so soft that services like onstar are now standard on many vehicles.
Its pathetic.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 2:58:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By leelaw:
"BlondeStar, always on, because youre always blonde."



Link Posted: 9/18/2005 3:53:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By AWACER:


He yelled, "he's got a hose".



What's the radio code for that?
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 4:31:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RaynoEleven:
[LCG]now that's funny right there.



I don't care who you are[/LCG]
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 4:50:12 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 5:18:48 AM EDT
I've seen people break down and cry over some of the radio advertisements, its amazing to me....

Personally, I look forward to hearing some of the names of the Onstar people....

"Onstar, this is Boulevard". Boulevard? BOULEVARD? HA!


Link Posted: 9/18/2005 5:18:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By A_Free_Man:
I hate the alarm company commercial, scared woman and kids gathered around the phone, "I think someones trying to break in."

Well, you stupid woman, get your pistol and scream at the top of your lungs, "Hey A$$hole! I have a gun AND a shovel. Let's dance!"



It should be,

"911 emergency, how may I help you?"

"There's someone breaking in, it'd be a good idea to send over EMS and Police because you're going to need a body bag, I'm located at. ..... (sound of pistol/shotgun/rifle chambering first cartridge) see you in a few minutes"

Link Posted: 9/18/2005 5:24:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By dragunov:
I hate their commercials. especially the radio ads where they feature and actual call from someone screaming for help. I think it's really sick.



Those make me cry
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 5:36:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By SheepDog_556:
It's just more of the Great Nanny State.

In a couple more months, despite Katrina....people will be looking at me funny as they ask why I have a generator, extra food and water....why I carry all the crap in my truck from a BOB to spare tools and parts....why I have spare keys for everything I own squirreled around.

We are raising our next generations to be dependant on others.


Sheep

I've actually watched people talk about how handy people who carry multitools are to have around, and then turn to me and ask why I carry one. It has gotten to the point where I just sigh and shrug my shoulders.



+1
One of the younger (~19-20yr old) female coworkers was boggled because when the power went out (thunderstorm) I whipped out my mini-MagLite (always on belt next to the Leatherman multitool) & continued on rather than freak out (OMFG! WTF are we going to do???) in the dark.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 5:56:35 AM EDT

Originally Posted By leelaw:
"BlondeStar, always on, because youre always blonde."



"BlondeStar"

"Yes. I locked my key in the car. Can you unlock my car for me, and hurry? It looks like it's going to rain, and I got my convertible top down".
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 6:40:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Pangea:
Doe eyed kids asking the camera "who will save us when blah, blah, blah hits the fan"? WTF? Can't anyone have some responsibility for their own family? Don't lock your 18 month old in a running car. Read a map before you leave for a destination that you've never been to before. Learn how to change a tire by yourself. Carry a cell phone and a pistol.

What will the next Can't Live Without item for the suckers of America?



Just another tag on the sheeple collar.

wganz

Link Posted: 9/18/2005 6:40:25 AM EDT


Originally Posted By A_Free_Man:
I hate the alarm company commercial, scared woman and kids gathered around the phone, "I think someones trying to break in."




The one I have seen has someone breaking in while the woman of the home activates the alarm and calls the security company. I'm sure they'll get there just in time.

But the best part is that while she confidently calls the security company, her husband cowers in the corner clutching their daughters.

Pathetic sheeple. The human species would be better off without them.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 7:02:09 AM EDT
You guys haven't heard the new ARFSTAR commercials yet, have you? Its a service that comes with the Platinum membership.



ARFSTAR:"Hello, ARFSTAR, how can we help you?"


(Paniced voice full of fear)"Hi, ARFSTAR, Someone broke into my house and I don't know what to do?"

ARFSTAR:"You do have a gun and shovel correct?"

"Yes, but I have a 9mm and a 45, and I need to know which to use. I have 14 rounds of 45 in two magazines, but I have 30 rounds of 9mm in two magazines. I'm worried about overpenetration as well, since my doll collection is in the next room."

ARFSTAR:"Use Both!"
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 7:09:29 AM EDT
LOL !
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 1:21:22 PM EDT
GM bought ad space on America's Most Wanted showing how a woman was able to call for EMS. The mountain valleys block cel phone towers, but OnStar's satellite signal works. I'd sign up for it if they only charged you "per use" instead of via monthly subscription.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 1:57:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Misery:
The following is an actual call from an OnStar customer:

<gunshot in the background....screaming>
"OnSta....Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Yeah, hey, I need you to start my truck up and unlock the door!"

"Okay, what's going on? You alright?"

"Oh these damn looters are gettin' some is all"

"Looters? Getting some?"

"Trying to steal my shit outta the store I own!" <several pops of gunfire...more screaming>

"Okay, well your truck is unlocked sir"

"Thanks OnStar, I'm almost outta ammo, so now it's time to run these fuckers over!!! Yeah bitches!"

Do you have OnStar? We help hundreds of people everyday, from killing looters to getting a body out of the trunk. You never know when you'll need OnStar. Call your local dealership about having an OnStar system installed today.



Holy Shit man, thats too good!
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 2:01:16 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/18/2005 2:03:17 PM EDT by FLAL1A]
The commercials infuriate me. I have to bite my tongue if Mrs. FLAL1A is in the room, because it is a psychotic rant trigger for me. Sadly, commercials aren't just commercials. Whatever you put on TV, the average person believes. Whatever assumptions underlie what's on TV are accepted by most people. Those commercials are based on an assumption of dependency, and on an assumption that unless they get on board with a giant corporation and its potentially intrusive technology, parents are not capable of caring for their children. The message is "people are inadequate to the task of living, and must depend on institutions if they are to carry on responsibly."

It reminds me of that "town hall" thing with Clinton several years ago. Some hippie jerkoff about 30 years old stands up and asks (this was the whole question, IIRC) "Who's going to take care of us? Who's going to take care of me?" Clinton gave him a serious answer. I'd have said "Get a job and take care of yourself, you freak," but that's just me.

Government and corporations alike profit from the dependency of the people at large. NO is the jackpot for the nanny state, if we let it be. A dependent population, cut off from the usual flow of government bounty, is used as evidence that we need more government, rather than as objective proof that the welfare state, at least at the national level, is a recipe for disaster. As the animals of NO demonstrated, the flip side of dependency is entitlement. Other than immediate comfort, nothing had changed for most of the people in the Superdome. They were laying on government-owned cots rather than government-subsidized couches, but they were still lounging on their dead asses waiting for someone to deliver their handouts; they relieved their boredom with occasional outings to smoke, drink, rape, steal, and kill. Same shit, different day.

It is all connected. "Who's going to take care of me?" "Would you let me ride in a car with no monitoring device to summon the authorities?" "Where's my check?" I suspect that what we are seeing is the underlying assumptions of degraded urban culture flowing up the social ladder along with the music and fashion of the "streets." I hope that the inevitable cleansing process is as bloodless as possible.
Link Posted: 9/18/2005 2:23:14 PM EDT
Years ago they used to run a similar ad for the electric company. A couple of frightened kids and Mommy gathered around a pathetic candle, storm raging outside. Mommy was on the phone, and someone at the electric company took the time to take her call and track down the repair crew.

"Don't worry," Mommy says, "they say they'll have the power back in within the hour."

I never could figure out why Mommy didn't escort them to bed with a FLASHLIGHT so the kiddies didn't burn the f---ing house down, say, OK, get in bed, I'll have you up early tomorrow for baths and then get you off to school. Yes, no TV. Too bad, now get to bed.

Onstar, alarm companies. Sheesh!

(call to police)
"Hey, this is Alfred Freeman again... yeah, I'm the one that called 45 minutes ago. No, no problem now. I know, you guys are busy. Just have one of your officers drop off a body bag if he passes by tomorrow. I want to get this guy zipped up before he starts attracting flies. And if you can spare them, a couple more bags just in case I need them in the future." I actually made a call like that, and it had them there in 3 minutes. Amazing.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 4:14:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By KlubMarcus:
GM bought ad space on America's Most Wanted showing how a woman was able to call for EMS. The mountain valleys block cel phone towers, but OnStar's satellite signal works. I'd sign up for it if they only charged you "per use" instead of via monthly subscription.



+1.. the upside about having a vehicle-based transmitter is that it can be monstrous compared to the xmit in a cellular handset. Unfortunately, they know this, and charge accordingly.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 4:27:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/19/2005 4:29:16 PM EDT by LARRYG]

Originally Posted By KlubMarcus:
GM bought ad space on America's Most Wanted showing how a woman was able to call for EMS. The mountain valleys block cel phone towers, but OnStar's satellite signal works. I'd sign up for it if they only charged you "per use" instead of via monthly subscription.



That is an outright fabrication on their part. The only satellite that thing uses is for GPS positioning. The voice path and the path that they send the lock/unlock signals on is nothing but 800 meg analog cellular.

It is a 3.5 watt like the old bag phones instead of the 3/4 watt of the handsets. That is why it works.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 4:59:13 PM EDT
You should see the shit fit they pull at the dealer if you tell them you not only don't want on-satr, but you want them to remove the unit completely. They try to tell you, "Oh don't worry, we just won't activate it after your free year".

No, Take it out. I don't want it or any part of it.

"It's free. Just keep it. You can turn it off."

I DON'T FUCKING WANT IT IN THE FUCKING CAR. TAKE IT OUT.

/smack
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:04:00 PM EDT

Originally Posted By A_Free_Man:

(call to police)
"Hey, this is Alfred Freeman again... yeah, I'm the one that called 45 minutes ago. No, no problem now. I know, you guys are busy. Just have one of your officers drop off a body bag if he passes by tomorrow. I want to get this guy zipped up before he starts attracting flies. And if you can spare them, a couple more bags just in case I need them in the future." I actually made a call like that, and it had them there in 3 minutes. Amazing.



Alright. Let's hear the story.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:15:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By leelaw:
"BlondeStar, always on, because youre always blonde."



Soo.. did ya sign Gabby up for that?
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:28:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Pangea:
Doe eyed kids asking the camera "who will save us when blah, blah, blah hits the fan"? WTF? Can't anyone have some responsibility for their own family? Don't lock your 18 month old in a running car. Read a map before you leave for a destination that you've never been to before. Learn how to change a tire by yourself. Carry a cell phone and a pistol.

What will the next Can't Live Without item for the suckers of America?



+1

Fuck that crap. Those commercials piss me off.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:43:00 PM EDT
What's that sig line quote...
"A guy named Darwin used to handle quality control, but he was fired.."

Dude, I know it was your job and all, but Damn...



Originally Posted By AWACER:
One time we (my PD) got a call from the Sheriffs office saying that they got a call from a lady saying that her husband has stated that he was gonna kill himself. The Sheriffs office had already inquired into what he was driving and realized it was a vehicle with OnStar. They called OnStar and got a fix on his location. They gave us his location, which was in my jurisdiction. I drove to the street, way in the woods, where he was suppose to be. Damn, if he wasnt exactly where they said he was. I approaced the car, no lights/very dark area, from the front. My Sgt. said over the radio to hold my position until I had another unit. I could see the guy in the drivers seat, still conscious but his head was dropping and then coming back up. I told the Sarge to come up the street behind the car and as soon as he pulled up he could see a garden hose from the tail pipe into the rear window. He yelled, "he's got a hose". I ran up and tried to pull the hose out but it was pinched in the window and taped real well to the tail pipe. I immdediately pulled my auto knife and cut the hose. The guy was barey conscious now and we order him to unlock the car. I was ready to break the window with my expandable baton but my Sarge told me to wait in hopes he would unlock the car. No shit, the guy unlocked the car and then had the fire dept. care for him. I got a freakin headache just from sitting in the drivers seat for a second to put the windows down. The guy was like how the hell did you find me. We said OnStar, he was so pissed off, he couldnt believe that shit. The fact that OnStar foiled his almost perfectly successful suicide plan. I got OnStar in my new Silverado and love it. I dont pay for the directions part of it, but the phone and the emergency part is well worth the money. Just my .02 cents worth.

Link Posted: 9/19/2005 5:49:51 PM EDT
My mom has a 05 Chevy TrailBlazer. Although she has not used OnStar(emergency or otherwise), she has used the phone that comes with it, a hands-free one. It's pretty nice, and it's voice-activated.

I thought OnStar was stupid till I experienced it.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 7:20:26 PM EDT
My My...amazing how far we've come. Remember way back when, when cars came with a tool box?



Local OnStar story (couple years old):

Local city alderman didn't show up for work...wasn't answering his cellphone or pager. This was very unusual for him as he was usually very punctual. His office continued to try to contact him and started suspecting the worst, possibly a heart attack or carjacking etc.

Secretary remembered he had that new fangled "OnStar" on his new SUV and notified the Sheriff's Dept of the situation. Sheriff's Dept get authorization to utilize "OnStar" services to locate his vehicle.
Deputy dispatched to vehicle location which was off-road in a secluded field....deputy approached what looked like an abandoned vehicle. Further investigation found said alderman and a lovely blonde lady in various stages of undress.


Note: The alderman's wife is a brunette.
Link Posted: 9/19/2005 7:30:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By dragunov:
I hate their commercials. especially the radio ads where they feature and actual call from someone screaming for help. I think it's really sick.



Yeah, I love the hystercal chick who was just in an "accident."

OMFG, the horror.

EVERYONE will eventually get in an accident. The important thing is that you deal with it CALMLY.

Link Posted: 9/21/2005 4:24:07 AM EDT
I know what your sayin partner.



Originally Posted By barrysuperhawk:
What's that sig line quote...
"A guy named Darwin used to handle quality control, but he was fired.."

Dude, I know it was your job and all, but Damn...



Originally Posted By AWACER:
One time we (my PD) got a call from the Sheriffs office saying that they got a call from a lady saying that her husband has stated that he was gonna kill himself. The Sheriffs office had already inquired into what he was driving and realized it was a vehicle with OnStar. They called OnStar and got a fix on his location. They gave us his location, which was in my jurisdiction. I drove to the street, way in the woods, where he was suppose to be. Damn, if he wasnt exactly where they said he was. I approaced the car, no lights/very dark area, from the front. My Sgt. said over the radio to hold my position until I had another unit. I could see the guy in the drivers seat, still conscious but his head was dropping and then coming back up. I told the Sarge to come up the street behind the car and as soon as he pulled up he could see a garden hose from the tail pipe into the rear window. He yelled, "he's got a hose". I ran up and tried to pull the hose out but it was pinched in the window and taped real well to the tail pipe. I immdediately pulled my auto knife and cut the hose. The guy was barey conscious now and we order him to unlock the car. I was ready to break the window with my expandable baton but my Sarge told me to wait in hopes he would unlock the car. No shit, the guy unlocked the car and then had the fire dept. care for him. I got a freakin headache just from sitting in the drivers seat for a second to put the windows down. The guy was like how the hell did you find me. We said OnStar, he was so pissed off, he couldnt believe that shit. The fact that OnStar foiled his almost perfectly successful suicide plan. I got OnStar in my new Silverado and love it. I dont pay for the directions part of it, but the phone and the emergency part is well worth the money. Just my .02 cents worth.




Link Posted: 9/21/2005 4:27:27 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/21/2005 4:37:35 AM EDT by npd233]

Originally Posted By Specop_007:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
"BlondeStar, always on, because youre always blonde."






You haven't heard that spoof yet, Specop? I'll see if I have it on my server and link it.

Ok got it. Here ya go.

blondestar.mp3
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