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Posted: 5/24/2005 3:44:47 AM EDT

Unable to maintain her balance

A UCSB student, 18, who claims she had “none” to drink, fell from the chair she was sitting in while completing the pre-booking paperwork for her arrest for public intoxication. Once on the floor, she stated she could not get up.

The intoxicated young lady was leaning over a parked car around midnight, May 14, when patrolling deputies in Isla Vista found her.

Neighborhood watch

While walking to school earlier this month, two high school students stole a case of beer from their neighbor’s open garage. Another neighbor, who witnessed the burglary, was able to help identify the young men, seeing that the boys were from the neighborhood. Although one young man hid the unopened case of beer in his bedroom and returned to school, deputies were able to track down the stolen property with the help of one suspect’s big sister.

When deputies asked to search the youngster’s bedroom, the sister lifted up the bed blankets uncovering the case of beer exclaiming, “He is so stupid.”

The young boys, 16 and 17, were contacted at school and arrested for burglary.

The case of Corona(r) was returned to its rightful owner.

Jack who?

It wasn’t until the deputies left the scene, May 13, citing a noise ordinance violation at an Isla Vista house party, that they realized the house resident had signed ‘Jack Off’ on the citation signature line.

When law enforcement returned to the scene after midnight, the resident could not be found. A message was left at the residence for the subject to stop by the Isla Vista Foot Patrol office the following day.

Around 5:45 p.m., after the signer had sobered, the resident entered the Foot Patrol office profusely apologetic for his drunken behavior the previous night. “I’m sure someone is named ‘Jack Off,’” the subject tried to rationalize.

That wasn’t the point, he was told.

Parked Pontiac pilfered

A man returned to his Pontiac parked on Mandarin Drive, May 13, to find it perched upon bricks with all four wheels and rims missing. The man, 37, hadn’t a clue who took his wheels. The victim values his loss over $3,000.

Link Posted: 5/24/2005 3:58:08 AM EDT
I was once a manager at a transmission shop, and had a guy working there named Jack. He came in one day and said he needed off one day next week. So I marked that day on my calender with the words "Jack off today". True story. I later saw it in perspective and erased it, but not before several wimmins saw it and looked at me funny.
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