I am morbidly obese and sick and tired of being this way. I mean gunshow guy or Sizzler mutant obese. Like 400-450lbs. I have arthritis in my hips and knees and sciatica. My socks smell like straight up windex amonia when I take them off sometimes, so I think I might be trying for gout, or at least am borderline type two. I have slipped back into eating crap, but that won't be hard to quit. Sugared sodas make me thirstier, so I don't drink them all that often, I'm a natural wateraholic. I love water. Drinking alcohol just makes me feel crappy. I can get a hangover from 1 beer, so drinkin ain't my thing. It used to be though. I live in a college town so there is a Thursday through Sunday drinking culture here, even among 15 and 50 year olds, plus I'm supposed to be 3rd gen alcoholic, but pretty much quit that silliness quite a few years ago. I need to get in some kind of prelim shape for martial arts. I can't even do the beginner stuff at my dojo. My gut actually impedes the raising of my legs for knee strikes. I did Atkins for a couple years and lost 100lbs, was doing 50 minutes of eliptical cardio 4 times a week. Then my life fell apart and so did my exercise and diet. I have been walking maybe 1-3 miles a week, but more often just one 1 mile walk a week.  The gyms in my area are just meeting places for the already fit, and I'm tired of wasting my money just to feel like I'm in the way of Bif Puff and Suzie Sorostitute making a hook up. I'm too out of shape for weight lifting and know it. I can do 10 pushups on the stairs( I live in a 2 story town house) and it only takes a day or 2 for me to up it  to 20.  I don't have insurance so I cannot allow for injury at all. Has anybody here been this bad off and made it back from the brink?
Do you guys have any recommendations for super low impact exercises and/or flexibilty stuff?
Is that Matt Furey guy FOS or could something like that work for me? I'm basically trying to make it back from a very long "suicide by apathy" attempt, is the only way to explain it.

Honestly you're first stop should be your Doctor. I could give you the typical run down but at your size you need to see a MD before doing anything.

How old are you and when was the last time that you were in any kind of shape?

Is your job sedentary or active?

You can come back - people do it every day.  The key is to find an activity that you enjoy.  I'll be back on Monday to check your answers.

Like m4arc said see a doctor first.

Secondly quit worrying about anyone else in the gym.  Everybody started somewhere and no one is going to think any less of you.  Getting in the door is half the battle.  If you have the means work out with a personal trainer the first couple of times to make sure you are using the correct form.

Good luck.

I'm 36 now, and would love to be 250 again so, 23 was the last time I'd say I was in any kind of shape. I have a strange body. I am 6' 1" but I have a 30" inseam, my torso is quite a bit longer than anyone else my height. When I was 17 my working weight for leg press was 800lbs. I did a 22 mile hump in the Smokeys up, down, and ridge walking in 12 hours when I was 16. My dad, a retired Marine, said it was the toughest hump he'd ever done. I am supposed to be a thick stocky guy, I have a 58 shoulder and it ain't all blubber, not by a long shot. I still have muscle definition in my biceps and triceps. My quads used to be ginormous rocks, now---not so much. Knees to pecs is bascally blubber now. Both my patela grooves are more hour glass shaped now after a couple stupid horsing around accidents at 18 and 19. I can sure as hell feel rain comin I'll say that. I have never really played sports. Much to the consternation of my highschool's football coaching staff. I did get off my ass and walk a mile today. I felt the 1 hard cider I had last night, let me tell you. I have always been "fat" since I was about 8, but very lithe and agile for bein the big guy. Then the sedentary jobs started at 19, and the weight started piling on. I was an alcoholic from 15 - 25 or so. Quit cold turkey for 4 straight years, now it's pretty much a non-issue for me. I can drink or not drink usually just don't feel the draw at all. I want to do the same thing about being obese. Packed on 200lbs from 20-30. Blood pressure has been uncharcteristically low for someone in my condition, must be all them oats my Scottish ancestors ate. About 27 I started to actually like healthy foods, and did Adkins from 30-31 and broke into the 290's, then everything in my life turned to crap. I've done gyms off and on since 17. I'm done with them, their employees, their finance companies, the whole damned experience.