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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 4/4/2006 9:22:47 PM EDT
And as I am fixing the oven, the customer is in the kitchen with me washing something in the sink and I hear:

"Phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht!"

I didnt hear an "Excuse me" or "Im sorry" so I thought "Eh must have been a rubber shoe rubbing on the floor or someone sat down in a leather chair.

then again I hear it but this time its longer:

"Phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh­t"

And then she coughs loud.... Now I am realizing, it AINT no rubber shoe or Leather chair...

Then ... IT BLOWS LIKE NO ONES BUSINESS

"BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR­TTTTTTT ... ping"

She yells out "OH EXCUSE ME I AM SO SORRY!!!"

I had her cooktop out of her counter so I slam my head down into the hole where the cooktop sits like an ostrich with its head in the sand laughing as she ran out to go change her underwear I guess. Oh man I heard guys fart and she could have outdone pretty mcuh all of them.

I give her an A+!!!
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 9:25:38 PM EDT
Might have just been the spider tryin to get out of there........


that has to be one of the best post of the day...
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 9:25:48 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 9:30:50 PM EDT


LOL........
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 9:34:34 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 9:35:34 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 9:37:13 PM EDT
What did she look like? Maybe something needed to be SIHP.
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 9:59:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tromatic:
What did she look like? Maybe something needed to be SIHP.



NO WAY!!!! I wouldnt... I mean just that was ... DUDE!!!!

Now I have to go sandpaper my eyes just reading that!!!

Link Posted: 4/5/2006 6:34:44 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 6:40:57 AM EDT
Do you know anyone in the carpet cleaning business? You might be able to give a referral.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 6:51:55 AM EDT
Sounds like some serious skid marks were left.

What was the hang time?
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 6:54:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Tromatic:
Maybe something needed to be SIHP.



May I have a definition, please?
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 6:56:22 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 6:56:52 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 6:57:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 6:58:23 AM EDT by rebel_rifle]

Originally Posted By dwkennedy:

Originally Posted By Tromatic:
Maybe something needed to be SIHP.



May I have a definition, please?



Shove It In Her P***er.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:10:49 AM EDT
Thats alright i work at a Treatment facility for Delinquent youth drug and alcohol offnders.

They served onions with a meal one time and that night i was working and farted to the point it stunk so bad i had to leave the hallway it brought tears physically to my eyes. And i could not stand my own smell. It actually woke clients out of a dead sleep and a co worker walked into my side of the building, said "Oh Good God what happened over here?" and left ...FAST!!

It was my personal best!!
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:26:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Fireguy3:
Thats alright i work at a Treatment facility for Delinquent youth drug and alcohol offnders.

They served onions with a meal one time and that night i was working and farted to the point it stunk so bad i had to leave the hallway it brought tears physically to my eyes. And i could not stand my own smell. It actually woke clients out of a dead sleep and a co worker walked into my side of the building, said "Oh Good God what happened over here?" and left ...FAST!!

It was my personal best!!



this is a story for the grandkids


the stuff of legends
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:29:03 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:29:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Fireguy3:
Thats alright i work at a Treatment facility for Delinquent youth drug and alcohol offnders.

They served onions with a meal one time and that night i was working and farted to the point it stunk so bad i had to leave the hallway it brought tears physically to my eyes. And i could not stand my own smell. It actually woke clients out of a dead sleep and a co worker walked into my side of the building, said "Oh Good God what happened over here?" and left ...FAST!!

It was my personal best!!



So what you are saying is that you created your Mona Lisa, your David! A true work of art!
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:32:40 AM EDT
Ewwwww.... overshare!!!
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:39:53 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 8:57:25 AM EDT
so she sharted herself???
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 8:59:18 AM EDT

My mother-in-law calls farts "barking spiders"


"Ooops - must have been a baarkin' spidah" (imagine southern accent here)
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 3:47:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
My mother-in-law calls farts "barking spiders"


"Ooops - must have been a baarkin' spidah" (imagine southern accent here)



shhh don't even think let alone say spiders around the doc.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 4:07:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
My mother-in-law calls farts "barking spiders"


"Ooops - must have been a baarkin' spidah" (imagine southern accent here)



somebody's on the list now.....
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 4:12:23 PM EDT
So she made the same sound YOU MAKE when you see a little ole Spider.....



Link Posted: 4/5/2006 4:25:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 4:43:03 PM EDT by otar]
nevermind.
Spider pict for the fridge.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 5:43:22 PM EDT
Personal best ever is I had a sackful of Krystals before work, and around 1:30 am I had to take a shit, and I had to use the lav in the aircraft. There was no getting around this one! Anyways I let loose in the lav, and I stick my head out after I'm done, and the plane is empty. Yes, I cleared out an entire MD-11 by my own damn self!
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 5:50:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DeltaAir423:
Personal best ever is I had a sackful of Krystals before work, and around 1:30 am I had to take a shit, and I had to use the lav in the aircraft. There was no getting around this one! Anyways I let loose in the lav, and I stick my head out after I'm done, and the plane is empty. Yes, I cleared out an entire MD-11 by my own damn self!



Please tell me that it wasnt in flight.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 5:51:39 PM EDT
Nothing like having a witness when you squeeze out a new personal best.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 6:47:48 PM EDT
BARKING SPIDERS!

Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:00:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
I said I was sorry, geez.




........damn, Jen, good one.....
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:07:36 PM EDT
I remember my sister farted in church... it reverberated on the pew so loud the guy in front of us turn around, realized it was a chick, looked forward and started laughing.

My mom was mortified, I couldn't stop laughing... which made the guy in front of us laugh harder.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:11:52 PM EDT
years ago.......I had to bail out a buddy from Cleveland's 1st District......well, since my buddy got arrested in another city, and was held for Cleveland.....me and our other roomie had a head start on getting downtown and paying the bail....So we get the bond, and get back to the District before they even have my dude booked in......so we're waiting....and waiting.....well, it was like 2 am, and it'd been a long day, and I ate something kinda foul, I guess,....and well, I was getting musical......and they were getting more and more toxic......well, a particularly noxious one escaped from my innards, and IT WAS FOUL......my other buddy had to run outside, because I laid down a BIO weapon cloud in the PD lobby.......at this exact moment, the Dispatcher comes out of the door to ask, "Who you here for"...she no sooner got out the question then it was this.. WHAT IS THAT SMELL?...and I said, with a perfectly straight face, "I have gas ma'am."......


It was one of the funniest moments of my meager existence......( ok, so maybe you had to be there) but it was still hilarious.....the look on that woman's face.........PRICELESS!

Link Posted: 4/6/2006 5:28:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By otar:

Originally Posted By DeltaAir423:
Personal best ever is I had a sackful of Krystals before work, and around 1:30 am I had to take a shit, and I had to use the lav in the aircraft. There was no getting around this one! Anyways I let loose in the lav, and I stick my head out after I'm done, and the plane is empty. Yes, I cleared out an entire MD-11 by my own damn self!



Please tell me that it wasnt in flight.




It was on the ground. Allthough I know know if I want the back of an airplane to myself have a sackfull of krystals about 2 hours before take off.
Link Posted: 4/6/2006 5:36:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 1shott:
So she made the same sound YOU MAKE when you see a little ole Spider.....






I didn't know a fart could sound like a screaming woman being run over by a freight train.
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