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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 8/8/2002 7:57:16 PM EST
My brother-in-law is a chef in a restaurant in Detroit. So I'm talking to him a few minutes ago on the phone, and he relates this story to me. He's in the kitchen, cooking or whatever, and one of the other employees comes in and tells him there's something he's gotta see. So they go into the men's room, and someone has taken a dump and not flushed. Well, I guess it's a good thing he didn't, because there was a turd in the pot that had a circumerence "bigger than a wine bottle" as he put it! He says it wouldn't have fit down the commode if the guy had flushed! Just about all the employees came in and had a look, and one girl suggested they take a picture of the monster and post it on some website where you can put pictures up for other people to rate the quality or your... ummm... leavings. Now, in my dumbfoundedness upon hearing this story, I forgot to ask some pertinent questions, such as: 1. What was the length of the offending object? 2. What was the final disposition of the object in question, since it obviously couldn't be flushed? 3. What's the deal with this chick that knows where you can post pictures of your poop for other people to rate? I don't even want to speculate about what activities a man could be involved in that would allow him to pass a log of that size. More info as it becomes available...
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 7:58:49 PM EST
I think there's a site in Japan that rates public restrooms. Might also have one for crap.
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 8:02:11 PM EST
For god's sake, please do not post photos of this or any other bowel movement, no matter how extraordinary. Thanks in advance.
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 8:06:39 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/8/2002 8:08:28 PM EST by MadMatt]
Please forward a photo to [url]crappybobandnicbig.com[/url]
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 8:14:54 PM EST
raven, I have no desire to post or even see a picture of that. But now that I have this image stuck in my head, I figured I'd share it with all of you, so you could be haunted by it also. I'm reminded of a line from "Detective Story" with Kirk Douglas, where he says something like "I wish I could take my brain out of my head and wash away the filth you've put in there".
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 8:22:12 PM EST
ROFLMAO!!!!!
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 8:36:42 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/8/2002 8:37:33 PM EST by Crookshanks]
Reminds me of the time I was in the local public library. It was about closing time and I thought a piss would be nice, before going out in the cold air. So I walk into the restroom, open up [b]the[/b] stall and take a step in. As I reach for the rim of the seat, I glance in the bowl. My heart just about stops and I jump backwards. When my feet hit the ground, I'm in full stride. It was the biggest coil of shit, I've ever seen. As big around as my wrist and hideous, (the color swirls and texture were unspeakable} and if some hazardous waste specialist, in full bio-suit, could have been persuaded to uncoil it, it would have stretched at least 3 1/2 feet. Two blocks later, when my yelping finally became intermittent, I start to remember the smirking custodian, I blew past, as I ran screaming into the night.
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 9:14:19 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/8/2002 9:18:43 PM EST by GovtThug]
Just had an IM from the BIL. Here's the transcript (the screen names have been changed to protect the twisted): Me: Hey, assclown! Him: yes? Him: that's BOBO the ass clown to you Me: So what was the final dispositon of the turd in question? Did someone have to scoop it? or did they do the "crush and flush? Him: what the hell are you still doing up Chris? Dont you have to work? Me: No. Organization day tomorrow. Him: Think they left it there, and called in someone to bronze it for a trophy or something Him: I really can't fathom how someone walked out of there after crapping that loaf. Him: there should have been a trail of blood Me: What the hell has that guy been doing that would allow something of that girth to pass through his sphincter? Him: no idea. the very bizarre thing was that it wasn't tapered on either end. That asshole must have sounded like a car door slamming shut Me: What was the length of that monster? Him: 10 inches or a little more I would guess Him: it looked lieka blank Mr. Potato head Me: What's up with the sick chick who knows where to post your duke shot's online to get a rating? she some sort of freak, or what? Him: a little bit I would guess. I do really need to ask her how she knew about that site! Me: ask her for the url to some of her pics on there. Him: okay Me: how could you look at a chick the same way again after you've seen some of her assblasts online? Him: good qestion Me: I hope I never have to find out. Him: ditto Him: well, I should go for now, my bed is calling to me Me: So, did you leave before the Loch Ass Monster was dealt with? The public would really like to know what happened to the behemoth. Him: I think it was relocated to a reservation where more of itskind live Me: Ok. G'night. Him: night
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 9:46:26 PM EST
Heh...that's pretty funny. Here's my poop story. The other I happen to have a nice #2. After finishing my business (and flushing) I happen to look in the bowl and notice there's a 1/2" ball stuck to one side of the bowl. Now, I don't know about you, but I've never had anything stick to the side of the bowl of any size before. A stain here and there, but those come off with a flush. But a freakin' chunk, stuck? WTF? Ok, this has to be something for the sh!t hall of fame right here. So I do the normal guy thing and go find a camera. Now, normally, I have my digital camera in the car. Go grab it, that would be super convenient. No batteries. Crap. takes a couple hours to charge, hook it up and go look for a film camera. Find film camera, no film. Crap!!! What does it take to get a picture of Poop these days? I would go to the store, but I'm afraid it will fall of the side of the bowl while I'm gone. Wife's coming home soon, so I call her to go to the store and get some batteries and film. I'm still waiting for her to get home and walking to the toilet every few minutes to check. It's been over an hour and I've been drinking, so I've got to pee. But I don't want to use the pot, cuz, man, I HAVE to get a picture! Wife gets home, and the first thing she does is throw me the film, rush to the bathroom and go. I'm screaming "Noo!!!!" the whole time of course, and she's too desperate for a can that she ignores me of course. Of course, when I made it back into the bathroom to check my favorite toilet decoration, it was gone. [:(] The most proud moment in my shit history and it's flushed, just like that.
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 10:10:28 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/8/2002 10:11:19 PM EST by DVDTracker]
Link Posted: 8/8/2002 11:58:12 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 3:58:35 AM EST
Gross but funny. I have tears running down my cheeks right now. That is the funniest shit (pun intended) I have read in a long time.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 4:06:46 AM EST
Originally Posted By Crookshanks: Two blocks later, when my yelping finally became intermittent,............ .
View Quote
THAT really got me.....
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 4:25:27 AM EST
Now we've entered the crap zone, I'll share my favorite crap story. My best friend was on a trip to Japan with another guy from his work. They were staying in this apartment for a month or so while they did this contract. So one day my buddy is sitting there on the couch reading something when the other guy comes piling out of the bathroom all excited yelling that he's got to come see something. Remember that toilets in Japan are holes in the floor you squat over, not bowls you sit on like we have. So Adam goes into the bathroom to see what's got his roomie all excited. There in the little basin, standing on END, is about a two foot turd. Perfectly balanced and vertical. It was straighter than the tower in Italy. And yes, they emailed me a picture of it. it was kinda [SHOCK] then [PUKE] then [BEER] crash.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 4:43:32 AM EST
Him: no idea. the very bizarre thing was that it wasn't tapered on either end. That asshole must have sounded like a car door slamming shut
View Quote
GODDAMN THAT'S FUNNY!
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 5:12:00 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/9/2002 5:15:33 AM EST by CAPITALIST]
Originally Posted By GovtThug: Just had an IM from the BIL. Here's the transcript (the screen names have been changed to protect the twisted): Me: Hey, assclown! Him: yes? Him: that's BOBO the ass clown to you Me: So what was the final dispositon of the turd in question? Did someone have to scoop it? or did they do the "crush and flush? Him: what the hell are you still doing up Chris? Dont you have to work? Me: No. Organization day tomorrow. Him: Think they left it there, and called in someone to bronze it for a trophy or something Him: I really can't fathom how someone walked out of there after crapping that loaf. Him: there should have been a trail of blood Me: What the hell has that guy been doing that would allow something of that girth to pass through his sphincter? Him: no idea. the very bizarre thing was that it wasn't tapered on either end. That asshole must have sounded like a car door slamming shut Me: What was the length of that monster? Him: 10 inches or a little more I would guess Him: it looked lieka blank Mr. Potato head Me: What's up with the sick chick who knows where to post your duke shot's online to get a rating? she some sort of freak, or what? Him: a little bit I would guess. I do really need to ask her how she knew about that site! Me: ask her for the url to some of her pics on there. Him: okay Me: how could you look at a chick the same way again after you've seen some of her assblasts online? Him: good qestion Me: I hope I never have to find out. Him: ditto Him: well, I should go for now, my bed is calling to me Me: So, did you leave before the Loch Ass Monster was dealt with? The public would really like to know what happened to the behemoth. Him: I think it was relocated to a reservation where more of itskind live Me: Ok. G'night. Him: night
View Quote
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA[%|]
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