Subject: NOTICE FROM CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES:
We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers
had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush became President.
With that in mind, we have a Special Offer
for those who still want to keep their promise!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Ed Asner,Whoppi
Goldberg, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner, Barbara Streisand, Jane
Fonda, Pierre Salinger, and anyone else who made that promise, please
dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the
Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to
your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.
You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor
through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your
Please pack for an extended stay... at least four more years
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise
director, Monica Lewinsky as recreation director, Ted Kennedy as
lifeguard and emergency procedures director, and
Ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.
If you have any questions about making arrangements for your
homes,friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator
Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she can
watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.