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Posted: 12/18/2009 9:57:41 PM EDT


Is it ok for a bride and groom to request no children (on the invitation) at their wedding?

Link Posted: 12/18/2009 9:59:09 PM EDT
Yes. And please do it.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 9:59:30 PM EDT
Sure, it's their wedding after all.

But along the same lines, guests that have been invited who have children should feel just fine staying home.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 9:59:32 PM EDT
Yes, it's their wedding.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:01:01 PM EDT
You can request what you want.  Not very realistic, though.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:01:07 PM EDT
It's their wedding and their choice. I myself wouldn't have a problem with kids there.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:05:31 PM EDT
we did that ay our wedding, it was great.

no kids getting creamed on the dance floor by drunkin dancing fools...........
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:07:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/18/2009 10:07:33 PM EDT by ftl2012]




Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:07:27 PM EDT
Yes. It's YOUR wedding.

Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:07:48 PM EDT




Originally Posted By hauser:

we did that ay our wedding, it was great.



no kids getting creamed on the dance floor by drunkin dancing fools...........
And you don't have to worry about screaming and crying kids ruining the wedding.





Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:08:43 PM EDT




Originally Posted By Handsome_Rob:

Yes. It's YOUR wedding.



Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.


I wonder if people who have children would be offended at such a request?
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:10:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/18/2009 10:11:05 PM EDT by N1Rampage]
Originally Posted By ftl2012:

Originally Posted By hauser:
we did that ay our wedding, it was great.

no kids getting creamed on the dance floor by drunkin dancing fools...........
And you don't have to worry about screaming and crying kids ruining the wedding.




The kids ruin good weddings with the crying and their adult keepers jumping to their every need. One wedding even allowed the kids to be put with the adults and given the adult meals (which they quickly mooshed - $100 wastes times 20 kids). When a few families brought ALL their kids, it fucked up the entire arrangement.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:11:05 PM EDT
I've been to a wedding that wasn't a child appropriate enviornment, usually because of alchohol and certain jokes. So yes, it may be a good idea to say "No children please"
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:12:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/18/2009 10:12:52 PM EDT by ftl2012]




Originally Posted By N1Rampage:



Originally Posted By ftl2012:





Originally Posted By hauser:

we did that ay our wedding, it was great.



no kids getting creamed on the dance floor by drunkin dancing fools...........
And you don't have to worry about screaming and crying kids ruining the wedding.









The kids ruin good weddings with the crying and their adult keepers jumping to their every need. One wedding even allowed the kids to be put with the adults and given the adult meals. When a few families brought ALL their kids, it fucked up the entire arrangement.
My second reason for having no kids is that I want every guest to drink heavily, have fun, and not have to worry about keeping an eye on their kids.



Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:12:49 PM EDT




Originally Posted By ftl2012:





Originally Posted By Handsome_Rob:

Yes. It's YOUR wedding.



Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.


I wonder if people who have children would be offended at such a request?


That was sarcastic, right?

Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:12:50 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/18/2009 10:13:45 PM EDT by marksman121]
If they know a lot of their friends/family have kids that they don't control and would wreck the event it would seem okay. Depending on your family it could make you out as the  asshole even if the assholes are really your relatives kids.

Never been to a wedding that did not have kids of all ages.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:12:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ftl2012:

Originally Posted By Handsome_Rob:
Yes. It's YOUR wedding.

Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.

I wonder if people who have children would be offended at such a request?


Hell no that just gives we married w/ chilluns an excuse to get a sitter, get drunk, and do the nasty sweaty in some random hotel hall way or whatever.

Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:14:07 PM EDT




Originally Posted By BikerTrashXx4:





Originally Posted By ftl2012:





Originally Posted By Handsome_Rob:

Yes. It's YOUR wedding.



Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.


I wonder if people who have children would be offended at such a request?


That was sarcastic, right?

No sarcasm



Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:15:19 PM EDT




Originally Posted By USMC6177:



Originally Posted By ftl2012:





Originally Posted By Handsome_Rob:

Yes. It's YOUR wedding.



Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.


I wonder if people who have children would be offended at such a request?




Hell no that just gives we married w/ chilluns an excuse to get a sitter, get drunk, and do the nasty sweaty in some random hotel hall way or whatever.





Exactly! If I had kids I definitely wouldn't want them there with me at the wedding!

Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:15:58 PM EDT
voted yes: I don't see why not as it's their speshul day so they make the rules. It will also give some folks a good excuse not to come. As important as the bride and groom think this event is there are always folks that would rather be doing something else.

I'm just curious why they don't want kids there? Going to make too much noise? Going to laugh to loud and ruin the whole event? My sisters are important to me and therefore so are my nieces and nephews. I can't imagine asking my sisters to leave their kids at home on my wedding. Best I can remember they had a great time.  No flower girl and ring bearer?
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:16:36 PM EDT
Their wedding
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:23:19 PM EDT
I have kids and wouldn't be offended by such a request.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:25:32 PM EDT
Their wedding... Their day... Their choice...

But thinking back to my wedding... Both of us came from large families, and there were lots and lots of neices and nephews there... It would have been impossible for *us* to make that request, and still have friends and family there... We don't drink, and everything we do as an extended family is about family, and revolves around the kids...

On the same token, if *your* invitation says no children, and others are allowed bring theirs... That situation would indeed violate a social tenet... They would basically be saying we don't want *your* kids...

And, I have seen parents with very well behaved kids... Kids that behave better than adults in social situations...

But... In this case, if it is perhaps printed on the invitation... They are basically saying DONT BRING ANY KIDS... The alcohol will flow freely and the party will be for *adults* and you would be an ignoramus for bringing your kids...

my .02
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:31:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/18/2009 10:32:59 PM EDT by von_landstuhl]
Yes, it's their wedding. Just expect a bunch of people not to come or to be pissed off because they had to hire a babysitter.

Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:33:45 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ftl2012:

Originally Posted By Handsome_Rob:
Yes. It's YOUR wedding.

Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.

I wonder if people who have children would be offended at such a request?


I wouldn't.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:38:20 PM EDT




Originally Posted By von_landstuhl:

Yes, it's their wedding. Just expect a bunch of people not to come or to be pissed off because they had to hire a babysitter.



Is it really that difficult to hire a babysitter? Or ask a family member to baby sit?

Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:51:43 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ftl2012:

Originally Posted By Handsome_Rob:
Yes. It's YOUR wedding.

Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.

I wonder if people who have children would be offended at such a request?


Hmmm.. I apologize for not being more specific, was preoccupied at the time.

We invited a ton of people that already have kids, and we wanted them as guests at our wedding.

Since our reception was held at a nice Country Club, we basically rented out the upper floor and had a close friend babysit.  She was equipped with a ton of books, coloring books and crayons, toys and a projector the Country Club loaned us so they could watch some movies...

Worked out well for us.  Our invitations included the notice that we had arrangements planned for kids, and we had a phenomenal turnout for the married w/ kids crowd.

I hope it works out man!
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:53:39 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ftl2012:

Originally Posted By von_landstuhl:
Yes, it's their wedding. Just expect a bunch of people not to come or to be pissed off because they had to hire a babysitter.

Is it really that difficult to hire a babysitter? Or ask a family member to baby sit?


ever watch the news? Depending on the age of the child it absolutely is hard to find trustworthy sitters. Everybody's situation is different though depending on where they live etc. IMHO it's fine for you to expect folks to not be offended if you put "we ask that children not attend" on the invitation and it's also fine for you not to get offended if some folks send their regrets because sometimes sitters aren't worth the hassle.

You mentioned that you want the folks with kids to get loaded and not have to worry about them. Are they going to stay over then? Weekend long sitter?  What do the folks do that are coming from out of town that have kids? Find a sitter when they arrive? Responsible parenting takes a lot of work sometimes, it's not as easy as you make it out to be.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:56:56 PM EDT
No one likes your kids except you.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 10:59:23 PM EDT



Originally Posted By ftl2012:





Originally Posted By N1Rampage:


Originally Posted By ftl2012:




Originally Posted By hauser:

we did that ay our wedding, it was great.



no kids getting creamed on the dance floor by drunkin dancing fools...........
And you don't have to worry about screaming and crying kids ruining the wedding.









The kids ruin good weddings with the crying and their adult keepers jumping to their every need. One wedding even allowed the kids to be put with the adults and given the adult meals. When a few families brought ALL their kids, it fucked up the entire arrangement.
My second reason for having no kids is that I want every guest to drink heavily, have fun, and not have to worry about keeping an eye on their kids.





Sounds like your more interested in keeping the reception "child free".



One solution is to have a few trusted adults (hired or otherwise) hold a kids party either in an adjacent room or at someone else's home. I personally wouldn't bar kids from a wedding... the reception on the other hand, isn't a totally bad idea though.
 
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 11:00:03 PM EDT




Originally Posted By SamColt:



Originally Posted By ftl2012:





Originally Posted By von_landstuhl:

Yes, it's their wedding. Just expect a bunch of people not to come or to be pissed off because they had to hire a babysitter.



Is it really that difficult to hire a babysitter? Or ask a family member to baby sit?





ever watch the news? Depending on the age of the child it absolutely is hard to find trustworthy sitters. Everybody's situation is different though depending on where they live etc. IMHO it's fine for you to expect folks to not be offended if you put "we ask that children not attend" on the invitation and it's also fine for you not to get offended if some folks send their regrets because sometimes sitters aren't worth the hassle.



You mentioned that you want the folks with kids to get loaded and not have to worry about them. Are they going to stay over then? Weekend long sitter? What do the folks do that are coming from out of town that have kids? Find a sitter when they arrive? Responsible parenting takes a lot of work sometimes, it's not as easy as you make it out to be





I agree with what you say. I just don't want kids at my wedding.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 11:00:20 PM EDT
Originally Posted By RobertV77:
No one likes your kids except you.


roger that - hence the difficulty in finding a reliable sitter.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 11:36:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ftl2012:

Originally Posted By Handsome_Rob:
Yes. It's YOUR wedding.

Or do like we did, make accommodations close by with a babysitter in a room close by.

I wonder if people who have children would be offended at such a request?


Yes, they are.

It is certainly their choice, but it is a disrespectful.  Not everyone in the world is a NYC Metrosexual living in a post-Western European-style Utopia.

In the West, our children are a part of our families, and should be included in life events like weddings and funerals.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 11:38:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/18/2009 11:44:34 PM EDT by TechGal26]
Of course.  Why wouldn't they be able to request it?  It is their wedding.



ETA - After reading all the replies about not likely not being able to go, I wonder if the shorter guest list is the reason for that request on occasion..

Link Posted: 12/18/2009 11:42:05 PM EDT
I've been to child-free and child-ed weddings ... the kids in my family seem to be pretty well-behaved, but there is definitely a different (more formal, usually) tone at the ones without kids.  

Your day, your choice.  If I had kids, I wouldn't be offended, but depending on the logistics, I might not be able to make it.
Link Posted: 12/18/2009 11:47:37 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ShakenNotStirred:
Not everyone in the world is a NYC Metrosexual living in a post-Western European-style Utopia.



Yeah, well we "post-Western NYC metrosexuals" don't want your kids or anyone else's kids at our ADULT CEREMONY.

Link Posted: 12/19/2009 12:36:42 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Cavu:
Sure, it's their wedding after all.

But along the same lines, guests that have been invited who have children should feel just fine staying home.


agree
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 12:38:12 AM EDT
You can do whatever you want if it's your wedding I suppose.



Don't expect people to show up if they have kids, though.
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 12:58:24 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ftl2012:

Originally Posted By von_landstuhl:
Yes, it's their wedding. Just expect a bunch of people not to come or to be pissed off because they had to hire a babysitter.

Is it really that difficult to hire a babysitter? Or ask a family member to baby sit?


Based on the number of screaming, crying children I routinely see running amok at R-rated movies, yes.  
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 1:21:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/19/2009 1:22:13 AM EDT by olivers_AR]
It makes for a better wedding, just went to a couple of weddings that were over 21, which they lost some guests, but made for an adult gathering,which is ok sometimes.
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 1:24:46 AM EDT
Yes it's ok to request "no kids". Shoot, it's your wedding.

I like it better when kids are allowed as I have 3 and they would absolutely love to go to a wedding + I would not have to find a babysitter and deal with all of that sort of bullshit. My kids are well-behaved so I know for a fact that they would cause no problems whatsoever. The trouble is that not all kids are equally well-behaved and you cant invite mine for instance and not my cousins without causing major problems. It's far far easier just to declare "no children please".

Link Posted: 12/19/2009 1:28:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By RobertV77:
No one likes your kids except you.


Quote of the day.


Link Posted: 12/19/2009 1:30:25 AM EDT
My fiancee and I have this very problem on our hands. We didnt want a certain pair of children at our wedding, as these two kids are total little shits. But we decided to suck it up and were going to invite everyone. Sure, they are a pain in the ass, but it's more than just about us. It's about being around our family, and sometimes that includes the little annoying ones. I think it will be alright
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 1:32:58 AM EDT
Originally Posted By sirbordsalot311:
My fiancee and I have this very problem on our hands. We didnt want a certain pair of children at our wedding, as these two kids are total little shits. But we decided to suck it up and were going to invite everyone. Sure, they are a pain in the ass, but it's more than just about us. It's about being around our family, and sometimes that includes the little annoying ones. I think it will be alright


Good for you, that's a very unselfish stance.
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 1:39:36 AM EDT
Do people really think their kids want to be there?

I know when I was a kid, a wedding was about the last place in the world I wanted to be.
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 1:43:00 AM EDT
Originally Posted By STG77:
Do people really think their kids want to be there?

I know when I was a kid, a wedding was about the last place in the world I wanted to be.


I'm totally with you on that. I thought the exact same thing when it came to inviting the people with children. Most children in the family are old enough that theyre semi-stoked to go, but we also decided to put them to work. One little girl's gonna be the ring flower girl, another two girls are going to take care of the guestbook. The youngest male child is obviously going to be the ring bearer. The boring part for most of these kids is the ceremony. I think they will be generally happy about the reception, though, and hell, by later on most of them will conk out anyways
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 1:44:43 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Bass-Ackwards:
Originally Posted By sirbordsalot311:
My fiancee and I have this very problem on our hands. We didnt want a certain pair of children at our wedding, as these two kids are total little shits. But we decided to suck it up and were going to invite everyone. Sure, they are a pain in the ass, but it's more than just about us. It's about being around our family, and sometimes that includes the little annoying ones. I think it will be alright


Good for you, that's a very unselfish stance.


thanks! I hate to admit it, though, but the decision came after much selfish thinking back and forth
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 2:06:12 AM EDT
Sure it's okay, it's your wedding.  Do people think assholes don't get married?

Link Posted: 12/19/2009 2:59:09 AM EDT
It's your wedding..you are paying the tab.....you can structure it any damn way you like.
If it were me I'd simply arrange the event in a way that makes it innapropriate or unrealistic for children to be present....like a distant destination...maybe some fairly adult themes with no accomodations for kids...make it clear that its an adult party.

Generally I have seen it where the ceremony was for everyone and the reception was more of an afterparty...at night..at a place where kids either cant go or shouldnt be. People get the message. The ofended ones dont go....everyone else had a fun party.
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 3:06:04 AM EDT
i think some people are confusing the reception and the wedding. Kids at the church? sure. Kids at the reception? fuck no. open bar, $100+ plates that they won't eat? fuck off.
Link Posted: 12/19/2009 3:07:55 AM EDT
It's your/their wedding, so you can do what you want.  Those with children, however, may simply not come.  We have 5 kids from 8 to 5 months, so we probably just wouldn't come to any wedding that requested no kids.

We have good kids who can sit quietly through church for over an hour with only a seldom bathroom break to cause a disturbance, but there are several other folks in church who don't work with their kids at home to train them to sit quietly for an hour or more.  Those kids I wouldn't want disturbing my wedding, for sure.  Heck, parents who don't work with their kids to train them to sit quietly and not cause disturbances are doing a disservice to their kids (through a lack of training related to self-control) and others.
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