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11/22/2017 10:05:29 PM
Posted: 8/27/2004 10:23:40 PM EST
No Books for Bush


NO-BOOK BUSH!
'It would be hypocritical' says non-reading Dubya

By SCOTT STEVENS

THE PRESIDENTIAL library that President Bush plans to build upon leaving office won't contain any books -- because it's an open secret that the President doesn't read, and he doesn't want to be portrayed as a hypocrite!

That's the startling claim from an anonymous White House insider.

"President Bush is proud of the fact that he doesn't read and makes decisions 'from his gut,' " the insider says.

"He doesn't keep books in the White House, so he thinks it would be hypocritical to fill up his library with them."

The library won't have many presidential papers either, says the aide, a far cry from former presidents such as Nixon, Carter and Clinton. For example, Bill Clinton's presidential library is expected to be the largest of its kind, with over 20,000 documents on 400 subjects.

"Those presidents were kind of anal -- they saved everything," says the White House official.

"But it's well-known that President Bush's desk is always 'clean' -- there's nothing on it. So he doesn't have a lot of papers to donate," says the insider.

Democrats have cattily suggested that the Bush presidential library could contain at least two books -- The Bible, which is one book that Bush does claim to have read parts of, and My Pet Goat, the book that Bush continued to read to schoolchildren on 9/11 for seven minutes after receiving the news that terrorists had attacked the World Trade Center.

"That was the most reading the President had done in a year," jokes a top Democrat. Another Democratic wag, referring to Bush's autobiography,

A Charge To Keep, says: "I suppose Bush could add that one, too, but I seriously doubt that he's actually read it."

A Bush insider suggests the president is thinking about putting items in the library sure to rile his opponents, like the infamous Florida "butterfly ballot" from the 2000 election that many analysts say deprived Al Gore of victory, as well as a "hanging chad."

The President is also considering a "Wall of Bushisms' -- those malapropisms he's prone to make, such as "They misunderestimated me" and "I want to make the pie higher for all Americans."

"The President loves that these verbal gaffes drive his opponents crazy," says the insider.



Damn...I need he was slow, but I had no idea!!


SGatr15
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 10:55:33 PM EST
I can't wait to see how many people get pissed off...
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 11:00:00 PM EST
I read that in the Weekly World News a few weeks ago. Funny paper.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 11:03:19 PM EST
That is a fucking joke.
HAHA.
Link Posted: 8/27/2004 11:05:53 PM EST
I had never heard of this seven minutes thing until a liberal friend started spewing sewage about how if your kid was dying would you take seven minutes to finish what you where doing? I need a rebuttal; someone please help!

Jerad
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:00:12 AM EST

Originally Posted By Jerad:
I had never heard of this seven minutes thing until a liberal friend started spewing sewage about how if your kid was dying would you take seven minutes to finish what you where doing? I need a rebuttal; someone please help!

Jerad



Kerry sat on his ass for 40 minutes.

www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=262687
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:12:56 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/28/2004 12:13:46 AM EST by gus]
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......

On further consideration, of course you are!
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:13:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:15:53 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15



They never lie.

Beware of Bat Boy.
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:16:16 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/28/2004 12:17:41 AM EST by gus]

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15



Why not? Next week they'll say W doesn't need to read books since the aliens from planet X read to him whenever he wants.

ETA - I guess I'm just out of my element with you night guys.....
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:17:46 AM EST

Originally Posted By gus:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15



Why not? Next week they'll say W doesn't need to read books since the aliens from planet X read to him whenever he wants.




ACtually I think Dick CHeney does that....


SGtar15
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:20:40 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15



Why not? Next week they'll say W doesn't need to read books since the aliens from planet X read to him whenever he wants.




ACtually I think Dick CHeney does that....


SGtar15



Get on chat man.
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:21:43 AM EST

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15



Why not? Next week they'll say W doesn't need to read books since the aliens from planet X read to him whenever he wants.




ACtually I think Dick CHeney does that....


SGtar15



Get on chat man.



I am logged off.


SGatr15
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:22:19 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15



Why not? Next week they'll say W doesn't need to read books since the aliens from planet X read to him whenever he wants.




ACtually I think Dick CHeney does that....


SGtar15



Get on chat man.



I am logged off.


SGatr15



So boring now, all the cool people left.
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 12:26:00 AM EST
Come on Sarge....

You know you love it when the aliens tell Cheney what to tell Bush.

We all know it's true.
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 1:43:03 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/28/2004 1:43:51 AM EST by Bobby_the_Hun]
Bill Clinton's presidential library is expected to be the largest of its kind, with over 20,000 documents on 400 subjects.

Yeah, over 1,000 of those documents are letters to Monica Lewinsky.
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 1:53:06 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15




Its where I get my news. Will Batboy be at the opening?
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 2:16:40 AM EST

Originally Posted By Jerad:
I had never heard of this seven minutes thing until a liberal friend started spewing sewage about how if your kid was dying would you take seven minutes to finish what you where doing? I need a rebuttal; someone please help!

Jerad



"liberal friend"? Now there's a contradiction in terms....
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 2:40:57 AM EST
IWhat about his favourite book? I thought it was the "Hungry catterpillar", fairs fair though I quite like that one too, and will (eventually) be reading it to my kids.

/Phil
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 4:48:43 AM EST

Originally Posted By Jerad:
I had never heard of this seven minutes thing until a liberal friend started spewing sewage about how if your kid was dying would you take seven minutes to finish what you where doing? I need a rebuttal; someone please help!

Jerad



You can begin by telling them that that is a complete non-sequitor. Bush couldn't have saved anyone by getting up right when the planes hit. What was he supposed to do, run to New York and begin digging in rubble?
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 4:57:55 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 5:03:26 AM EST
It must be true, it's on the internet!
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 5:04:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:
Beware of Bat Boy.



+1
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 5:11:01 AM EST

Originally Posted By Jerad:
I had never heard of this seven minutes thing until a liberal friend started spewing sewage about how if your kid was dying would you take seven minutes to finish what you where doing? I need a rebuttal; someone please help!

Jerad


Believe it or not, the president doesn't have to make every tactical decision for every situation that pops up.
The military, NORAD, the Secret Service, the FBI, ALL still operate while the President naps or goes to the bathroom.
They're kind of on "automatic".
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 5:12:48 AM EST

Originally Posted By MisterFloppy:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By gus:
You're kidding of course, right Sarge? The Weekly World News? Geeezzzzz......



Why would they print a lie?


SGatr15



They never lie.

Beware of Bat Boy.



Who do the Aliens endorse for President?
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 5:41:14 AM EST

Originally Posted By tc6969:

Originally Posted By The_Groovinator:
Come on Sarge....

You know you love it when the aliens tell Cheney what to tell Bush.

We all know it's true.



No he's in the loop, They talk to him direct.

extra-terrestre.org/DSCN-alien_bush.jpg



Gosh, we didn't realize you'd met the president!!

Link Posted: 8/28/2004 5:45:00 AM EST

Originally Posted By Jerad:
I had never heard of this seven minutes thing until a liberal friend started spewing sewage about how if your kid was dying would you take seven minutes to finish what you where doing? I need a rebuttal; someone please help!

Jerad



Ask your dork friend what he/she/it would have accomplished in seven minutes from Florida when an attack was already underway 1,500 miles away?

If Bush had jumped up and stormed out, the same dork would be slamming him for having panicked the country....
Link Posted: 8/28/2004 6:15:13 AM EST

If Bush had jumped up and stormed out, the same dork would be slamming him for having panicked the country....


And if Bush did the Presidential thing and finished reading the book, they would have criticized him for that. WAIT! That is what they are doing!! 'Magine that!

Regardless of what Bush does, they are going to criticize him. Remember the etymology of the Greek word 'critic', it comes from 'shit eating dog' since that was the Greek's opinion of 'critics'.

wganz


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