Got a new computer for the kids for Christmas. Its located in the family room but I would still like to know what is a good software program to block chat and other programs they don't need to be exposed to. Thanks for the info, William

Dont block stuff.

Do you really not have any faith in you kids.

They better know right from wrong by now, and if  making it so they can't do wrong is going to keep them from learning what is wrong.

Btw Im a 19 year old that was first on the internet in elementry school. On my own without supervision

Yes, I do have faith in my kids. They have been on the internet on my computer and at school but teens will be teens. I would rather be safe than sorry.

well let them be teens

Quoted: Yes, I do have faith in my kids. They have been on the internet on my computer and at school but teens will be teens. I would rather be safe than sorry.

No matter what you do, they WILL find a way around the blocks...

that too

There is no software that will keep them from gettin too certian web sites, only you and themselves can keep them form going there

Quoted: Got a new computer for the kids for Christmas. Its located in the family room but I would still like to know what is a good software program to block chat and other programs they don't need to be exposed to. Thanks for the info, William

You are correct to want to monitor your kids computer use.
Setup a guest account for each child.  This will allow you, the supervisor (for Win XP) to install programs and allow only the programs you want them to access.
goto start, control panel, user accounts, then set them up as you choose.

This is also a great starting point for parents wanting to learn safe & creative ways kids can use the internet.

Hope this helps

People like me will just tell your kids how to get around everything when we're bored.

No matter what you do, they WILL look at porn.
Boys will be boys.  It is what they do.

They will probably give out email addresses to friends.
They will get instant messages from them 24/7.

The worst part is, they will soon spend more time in front of the
monitor than they will spend outside playing and getting
fresh air, sun, and exercise.

RIGHT NOW you need a good anti-virus program, a firewall (Zonealarm, Black Ice, etc), and spyware programs.  Your kids will surf to sites that will infect the computer.  Do backups of your important files.

Remember, when browsing the net you are literally one mistyped URL away from piles of porn.

Not a good idea. I'm 20, and what you should do, is leave the internet open to them. How old are we talking anyway? Thirteen to nineteen is a big gap. You should tell them whats out there and how to be careful about it, tell them not to tell strangers personal information, and be active in what they do. Be a parent, not a computer lab proctor.

Don't  just leave them to their own with restrictions imposed electronically that can be easily gotten around with a little research.

ETA: Please don't take what I said as an insult to your parenting, I don't know anything about you and I certainly don't mean any offense!

Let them whack off to Internet porn. I did it all the time as a kid and look how I turned out!his

A few weeks ago we get a call from a Detective from the Seattle PD.  He wanted to let us know that a known child molester has been chatting with our 15yo daughter.  Should you monitor what your kids do?  Bet your ass you do.

Hey, I'm 16(joined arfcom when I was 15) and I have been responsible enough not to not to look at any of the trash that is floting around the Internet(except for some of the occasionally salty language floating around arfcom, but considering I rode the same bus as the county juvi detention center inmates from the 1st to the 4th grade, it is nothing I haven't heard before).  Some thing are just completely unavoidable for a child that is not deaf, blind, and/or mute. But I digress-

Overly restricting your kids now(and I'm not just flat out saying interweb blockers are wrong for your own kids, whatever you think is best for them is what you should do) will only make them that more likely to go completely nutso when they move out. I know a guy whose parents restricted him a lot and now that he moved out it seems he is trying to make up for all the things he thinks he missed out on when he was younger. Restriction is fine but when you keep an extremely short leash when they are younger they will have no sense of how far is far enough when they get out on their own.

Just my $0.02

Two words:  key logger.

Nothing like parenting advice from a bunch of children.

"Don't have rules, your kids will  just break them."- What a load of BS.

Set rules and the penalties if you break them.  Computer in the family room only and limit how much time online and where.  I don't know much about key loggers and the such, but google around and I am sure you will find a lot of material.

Your house, your kids, your rules.  Your children won't rear themselves.

Good luck.

I don't know what it's called (?) but, my Lady-friend and I just got her teen-aged granddaughters a new computer for Christmas and SHE (The Woman I live with) gets a weekly statement of anyone who tries to talk to the girls and, they "Can't" ("Technically") chat with anyone not on an "Approved" list.


I say do every freakin' thing you can to protect them ESPECIALLY if it's for minor females.

WAAAY too many monsters out there not to

Quoted: Two words:  key logger.

+1

Quoted: Quoted: Two words:  key logger. +1

+1 these are the bomb . For instance this is how I found out my ex wife was sleeping with a co worker .

Quoted: Dont block stuff. Do you really not have any faith in you kids. They better know right from wrong by now, and if  making it so they can't do wrong is going to keep them from learning what is wrong. Btw Im a 19 year old that was first on the internet in elementry school. On my own without supervision

Yeah that works until your kid spells Disney wrong and gets a bunch of links for Dizzy Hot Sluts.

Also so many links are loaded with spyware and trojans that you want your kids computer to have all the chances it can get to live a good life.

Quoted: A few weeks ago we get a call from a Detective from the Seattle PD.  He wanted to let us know that a known child molester has been chatting with our 15yo daughter.  Should you monitor what your kids do?  Bet your ass you do.

But don't you trust your daughter?

For those who can't figure things out trust and protection are two different things.

I've had unrestricted internet access since I was 15, and I haven't met up with some random person and had my genitals carved off.  Fancy software isn't going to stop your kids from doing something idiotic like meeting up with someone they talk to on the internet, common sense instilled by good parenting will.  And as far as the pr0n goes, that's what the internet's for!

well look at ar15.com alot of employers of members here block the site.but there is always ways around it.by using the other site names that bring you here.

there is also a website that will let you access different sites thru that web site ,but i can not remember the name of it.

so even blocking sites there is always another way to get there.
you just need to teach them right from wrong and when they are wrong there is a punishment.

Keeping your kids on the straight and narrow is a little more complicated than installing a parental control program. Take them to church every week, set a good example, and pray for the best. That seems to be all that I can think of.

I guess their is a difference between "protecting" a 13 yo from accidentally clicking on a link they for some reason they did not recognize as what it really was or you daughter from a predator, and setting up some magical restrictive interweb forcefield for your 17yo because you feel you failed as a parent in the area of instilling a strong moral value system in them. As someone already stated your teen probably knows more about parental controls and how to get around them than you do. The only way I can see to protect them is to teach them to make good choices, not trying to block their bad choices.  As I have stated above, to the aparrent chagrin of a few parents, don't put your kid in a bubble for the first 18 years of his life, because once he gets out he will most likely go completely insane due to all the resentment built up over the years(the only way I can see to avoid that is let him live in your attic till he's 35 and give him a constant supply of Star Wars or Star Trek memorobilia). And NO, I am not impling that you should not have rules(what a fallicitical argument[can you say STRAWMAN!!]), I am saying you should instill strong values in them and go from there. If you feel an internet blocking program is what your child needs is fine, but you need to recognize that gives them something to want to get around.

Blocking stuff from kids that old --for no other reason than to annoy them-- is really a waste of your time and effort, and more than a bit insulting to the kids. There's a bunch of ways to bypass nearly anything you'd put on there, so all it would do is give you a false sense of security--or, by the same argument--if nothing ever showed up in your "naughy detector program",,,, then you'd have no idea what they were really doing.......  
~

Quoted: A few weeks ago we get a call from a Detective from the Seattle PD.  He wanted to let us know that a known child molester has been chatting with our 15yo daughter.  Should you monitor what your kids do?  Bet your ass you do.

If they are old enough to understand, install a logging program that will show everything they do on the web.  Tell them they can go where they want, unrestricted, but you will get a log of the places they visit.  If you don't agree with their choices of urls, you can cut them off from the computer for a sufficient period of time.

Blocking IMs through your router or firewall probably isn't a bad idea either, and if you get them an email address, use one that has good anti-spam protections - Gmail or Yahoo both seem to work pretty well in determining the junk from the real deal.

Blocking IMs on a teenager's computer is like giving him one of those neutered "straight pull bolt action" ARs.

Removing IMs strips alot of utility from the comp and makes it alot less fun to use. Almost all of my academic internet communication goes through AIM simply because its always up and allows for realtime feedback instead of waiting for someone to check their email. Not to mention that I use AIM alot more than I use a phone for those routine "Whats going on tonight" sorta conversations.

Quoted: Blocking IMs on a teenager's computer is like giving him one of those neutered "straight pull bolt action" ARs. Removing IMs strips alot of utility from the comp and makes it alot less fun to use. Almost all of my academic internet communication goes through AIM simply because its always up and allows for realtime feedback instead of waiting for someone to check their email. Not to mention that I use AIM alot more than I use a phone for those routine "Whats going on tonight" sorta conversations.

+1.  plus, it will save you a lot on phone bills.  IM and web browsing are the most important things i do on the computer, IM is even far more important to me than email.

Quoted: Blocking IMs on a teenager's computer is like giving him one of those neutered "straight pull bolt action" ARs.

Boo friggin' hoo.  Teenagers are simply stupid, and by stupid I mean they lack the experience and perspective to understand what they are getting in to.  Until they turn 18 and have the choice to screw up their own lives, it's the parent's responsibility and duty to help them make as few mistakes as possible.  If that means restricting options, that's acceptable.

Quoted: Quoted: Blocking IMs on a teenager's computer is like giving him one of those neutered "straight pull bolt action" ARs. Boo friggin' hoo.  Teenagers are simply stupid, and by stupid I mean they lack the experience and perspective to understand what they are getting in to.  Until they turn 18 and have the choice to screw up their own lives, it's the parent's responsibility and duty to help them make as few mistakes as possible.  If that means restricting options, that's acceptable.

x 1,000,000

If your kid is so fucking stupid that he/she doesn't know that when someone he doesn't know it's a bad thing when someone says to him over AIM "let's get together" you've already failed as a parent and all the fancy web-blocking and key-logging programs in the world aren't going to make up for it.  Paranting attitudes like yours are the reason 4th graders end up shooting their friends with their dad's gun they dug out of the closet.  Rather than teach them right and wrong they just try to hide the wrong and pretend it doesn't exist.

Only let them post on arfcom.

Its the only way to be sure.

There are ways around all of it. It just depends on how smart you are as to how difficult it will be to get around it all.
For instance,
Set yourself up as admin for the computer. Do not let them have the password. If you are not computer literate enough to do this yourself, find someone other than your children to do this for you.
There are hacks out there to change the admin password, and you have to boot from floppy or cd to use them. As far as I know, there are no quick ways to crack it, so if you can't get in,  you know they tampered with it.
Next set them up with a guest account with no rights. Basically they can run any program you install and give them rights to access. They can download stuff, but they can't install it. In most cases this even prevents IE from installing crap on your machine.
No easy way around this except hacking the admin.
Finally all of the browsers have history. Basically you can do it by saying if history is ever cleared before you look at it, they are busted.
All of these are free and come with the OS and browsers. You can prevent them from using any program you want.
If you want to spend money, then comes the key loggers, the browser history stuff that copies every web page they look at.
Even the remote monitoring software that you can use to record everything your teen does and load it to your computer. Which you can use to view their screen real time.
Don't have any brand names to give you for any of it, except the browse the computer in real time, would be PC anywhere. More of a tool than spy software.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Blocking IMs on a teenager's computer is like giving him one of those neutered "straight pull bolt action" ARs. Boo friggin' hoo.  Teenagers are simply stupid, and by stupid I mean they lack the experience and perspective to understand what they are getting in to.  Until they turn 18 and have the choice to screw up their own lives, it's the parent's responsibility and duty to help them make as few mistakes as possible.  If that means restricting options, that's acceptable. x 1,000,000 If your kid is so fucking stupid that he/she doesn't know that when someone he doesn't know it's a bad thing when someone says to him over AIM "let's get together" you've already failed as a parent and all the fancy web-blocking and key-logging programs in the world aren't going to make up for it.  Paranting attitudes like yours are the reason 4th graders end up shooting their friends with their dad's gun they dug out of the closet.  Rather than teach them right and wrong they just try to hide the wrong and pretend it doesn't exist.

+10000000

http://www.contentwatch.com/

This is what we use for our 12-year-old.

If something gets blocked that's legit, we open that URL for her.

Plus it captures her IM chat sessions.

We found that some 19-year-old guy was chatting up with her pretending to be a school buddy.
That was nipped real quick, and she learned a good lesson in the process before it was too late.

I don't think its a bad idea at all to have something that records what they are doing.

That would help you have little sit down talks about questionable stuff

I use BSAFE to filter content for not only my teenagers but myself and wife as well. The filter blocks inappropriate content, spyware and malicious sites. Thus keeping the family computer running longer and more trouble free. As an example my daughter was searching for a report on beavers and wanted to know why the filter wouldn't let her surf to very many of the search results. Rather then have my daughter shocked by content she didn't intentionally want, she was protected. BSAFE is very difficult to remove and is a practical tool to control the internet into your home.

I install and help maintain content filtering systems for school districts for my job.  The best system for doing this is free, just supervise their usage.  It might cost you some time but if it's important enough to do, it's important enough to do right.  Software is a very poor substitute for raising your kids.  The only way to be sure is by not letting them use the internet at all.  

HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, PRESIDENT OF THE MEN’S WAREHOUSE. MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD IS NOT A HACKER. WANTING TO CHANGE ISPs, INSTALLING COMET CURSOR, AND PLAYING GAMES LIKE QUAKE IS SURELY A SIGN THAT YOUR CHILD IS A HACKER. I GUARANTEE IT.

Quoted: I install and help maintain content filtering systems for school districts for my job.  The best system for doing this is free, just supervise their usage.  It might cost you some time but if it's important enough to do, it's important enough to do right.  Software is a very poor substitute for raising your kids.  The only way to be sure is by not letting them use the internet at all.

this is prolly the best advice. I live on the net. have no kids of my own but have nephews and nieces of various ages and computers play a large part in all of their lives. they use them a lot for homework for example.

one thing i see that makes a lot of sense is to put computers that kids use in open communal areas. like you have a tv in your den, mayhap you have a computer in a nook in the same room. kid can where headphhones if he/she needs to hear something, but as long as they know you are in the same room or might pass through it can help keep things under control.

as to IM. its part of life. kids more or less live by it.

there's things you can do. run custom sniffer software (sorta like keycaptures). let em know you might be watchin. the main thing though is openness. having the computer out in the open helps with this more than you might think...

There are ways around almost everything. Do you need to monitor them. YES. You only need to check

monitor when you suspect something. Let them know this. Everyone here that says you can not stop

them is full of crap. Here is how. You own the computer. You catch them doing something outside of

your rules ,NO COMPUTER.School papers are still accepted in pen and pencil. You have absolute

control. I was a network admin for a charter highschool. This was for 17-24 year olds that had been

kicked out of every school in St. Louis , with no chance of ever going back. A large percentage had

also been to prison.If I can control them you can control your kids. My motto was I trust you until you

fuck up. Its very hard to get around monitoring if you dont know its there. Above all trust them and

tell them so and will continue to do so, untill given a reason otherwise.

Quoted: School papers are still accepted in pen and pencil.

not where i went to school.

Quoted: Nothing like parenting advice from a bunch of children. "Don't have rules, your kids will  just break them."- What a load of BS. Set rules and the penalties if you break them.  Computer in the family room only and limit how much time online and where.  I don't know much about key loggers and the such, but google around and I am sure you will find a lot of material. Your house, your kids, your rules.  Your children won't rear themselves. Good luck.

A big frekin +1

Unless it was a college thats bullshit.You also ont need the internet to open up Word or Lotus Word Pro.

Make them do their chores first before they are allowed computer time.

Make sure it's a long list.

Long enough that they will be done maybe by the time they are 25.

Then let them use the Atari.

But only before 8. Then it's off to bed.

No cars either, plenty of time to drive after 30, lower insurance rates too.

Parents are too soft these days.

The only sure fire way to make sure they do not get into trouble is be a parent.  Instill values and give them trust.  

If you wish to prove that they deserve that trust and give yourself a little piece of mind, get a copy of spector pro here and you will have more information than a person could want.

I have two teenage girls that have computers in their rooms, neither of them will ever ask me to knock before I come in and they both will talk to me about what they see.  I do have a trap on my router to see where they are going and I have a logging program on chat but I don't watch it unless I have reason to suspect something.

Just my 2 cents.

Here is a little something I just wrote.  It is my truth and may be shared with others.  It may not be your truth, so take it as it is.

The price of freedom is responsibility.
Your decisions reflect your level of responsibility and lead to consequences, which, in turn, lead to greater or less freedom.  Your conscience is your guide to the decisions you make.  If your conscience is poisoned, don't expect good decisions to be made.  Or consequences.  Some times, the consequence of a poor decision is having your freedom revoked, by a parent or the law.

Trust is an inseparable component of freedom.  If a person is not trusted, they will not be granted the priveledge of freedom by the one who is in the position to grant it.  If a kid thinks freedom is a right,
perhaps an invitation to tour the local jail or juve is in order.

Here's the kicker:  Love and trust are equally bound together, especially for those who are close to you.  Ask a soldier if they love the others in their squad or platoon.  Usually the answer is that they will never or have never been closer to anyone in their lives before or since.  Sorry warrriors, but that is love by any other name.  To trust a little is necessary, i.e. co-workers, but at that level usually the risk, and hence the payoff is small.  To trust entirely is love, but the payoff is phenomenal.

Now, onto the power of ignorance, curiosity, and knowledge.  As we all know, ignorance coupled with curiousity can be a killer.  Whether it's sex, drugs, speed (velocity), porn, guns, or anything else that is potentially a destroyer, sending a kid out to face it alone is negligent in the least, or IMHO, neglectful.  I would no sooner give a kid full access to the Internet without a good orientation as I would hand them a loaded gun.  As distasteful or difficult as it might be, we are not doing our duty to our kids if we don't warn them of the dangers they may face.  

The curiousity is there, trust me: teenagers explore.  Arm the kids with knowlege and you will minimize the damage/trauma they may inflict upon themselves by minimizing their curiousity.  Don't kid yourself into thinking you can make it go away.  The School of Hard Knocks is one we all enroll in at some time, but graduating is the key.  We all know teenagers work their guardian angels overtime, but we can do our parts to hopefully minimize the damage.

So here's my logical conclusion:  If you love these kids and trust their conscience to guide them, arm them with the best knowledge you can share and trust them with the freedom.  If history has shown that they abuse the priveledge of freedom, then grant it in stages if you have to and let them earn it.  If history has shown that they abuse freedom at the first chance, then perhaps giving them the power of the Internet is not a wise choice. You can always let them know that the priveledge can be revoked.

Another warning:  Don't let your own fear be your guide.  Fear is the bedfellow of anger and will only destroy.  As parents/guardians, we take the responsibility of guarding our kids from danger seriously and this is good.  Letting our own past, filled with whatever pain or trauma, guide our decisions is only a recipe for repeating them onto our own kids.

If they don't abuse the freedom, no worries.  They will have taken their first step into young adulthood, exercising responsibility, being granted freedom, and feeling the satisfaction of trust and the warmth of love.  The consequences may surprise you

If an example of any of the above is needed or clarification, please feel free to ask.

-White Horse

ETA:  If your teenager is "stupid," and by stupid you mean unwise, then who is at fault?  The new-to-the-world teenager or the supposedly wiser parent for not sharing hard won wisdom?

Don't let software be the parent...

Okay guys, Thanks for the info. By the way my teens are girls 14 and 15. I have set up the computer with me as the admin and them with limited accounts. I also have spyware and and virus protection loaded on the computer. For now I will just moniter there internet time. I  have laid down my rules about the internet and let them know there will be consequences if they are broken.

Believe me I'm not over protective  with my kids, but just like cars or guns, its not going to be do what you want when you want. Its my responsibility to moniter and correct there actions.

sounds like your good to go