Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Posted: 10/25/2004 6:15:12 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/25/2004 6:48:15 AM EST by Rabid_Coyote]
UPI - 25OCTOBER2004

A new poll released today found that dead felons in Ohio are breaking for Kerry 92 to 8. The same poll also found that amongst likely homeless multiple voters the street people expressed their intent to vote Kerry/Edwards as many as 35 times each.

In Cleveland, a poll of 500 National Guard members and 500 Union members overwhelmingly favored Kerry, with 500 votes Bush and 12,567 votes for Kerry. One Union member commented, "I did it for my job. The BA of our Local told me if I didn't vote Kerry he'd make sure I never worked in this town again, so I felt Kerry would be better for my employment." However, Democrat election worker and single mom Karen Berkely explained that the military vote was important too: "Our office intends to make sure these military overseas ballots are in the mailbox to Iraq sometime around Halloween, so that they can be returned by November 15th or so...".


Times/Post reporters canvassing the downtown area spoke with Fernando Villareal who had arrived from Ciudad Jaurez two days before, riding under a tarp in a lettuce truck with 25 friends and relatives. Fernando was unable to speak English but proudly displayed his brand new voter registration card. "Viva La Raza Y Viva Kerry", he proclaimed with upraised fist.

Chip McSquirm, local DNC Chairperson, asked to comment on voters like Fernando stated, "Don't fall for the GOP hype, they're just trying to disenfranchise undocumented precitizens of color." After a pause Chip added, "Lot's of these folks have multiple jobs, only seems fair that they should get multiple votes as well." Additionally Chip explained, "With these hard working immigrants and our efforts to 'rock the vote' at area methadone clinics, I'm sure we've brought in the most new registrations."

Also, the previously undecided senile dementia vote appears to be breaking for Kerry, literally by the van load. One Kerry operative explained that if you drive them to the polls, hold their hands in the right spot and push for them, these otherwise incoherent folks have no problem voting Democrat. Said the operative, "Some of them think they're voting for FDR, or McKinley, and some of them demand ice cream, but most of them just stand there mute, so it's no problem. These folks can't think or speak, so they're an important part of our base..."

With the important "crack cocaine" vote already locked up by the Democrats, it appears that the battle for the battleground state of Ohio is all but decided.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:17:37 AM EST
Excellent work!!
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:19:34 AM EST
oh....my.....God. If not for the voter registration fraud already being comitted (and discovered) in Columbus this would by hysterical...but turns out to be horrifying instead.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:21:13 AM EST

Originally Posted By Rabid_Coyote:
UPI - 25OCTOBER2004

A new poll released today found that dead felons in Ohio are breaking for Kerry 92 to 8. The same poll also found that amongst likely homeless multiple voters the street people expressed their intent to vote Kerry/Edwards as many as 35 times each.

In Cleveland, a poll of 500 National Guard members and 500 Union members overwhelmingly favored Kerry, with 500 votes Bush and 12,567 votes for Kerry.

Also, the previously undecided senile dementia vote appears to be breaking for Kerry, literally by the van load. One Kerry operative explained that if you drive them to the polls, hold their hands in the right spot and push for them, these otherwise incoherent folks have no problem voting Democrat. Said the operative, "Some of them think they're voting for FDR, or McKinley, and some of them demand ice cream, but most of them just stand there mute, so it's no problem. These folks can't think or speak, so they're an important part of our base..."

With the important "crack cocaine" vote already locked up by the Democrats, it appears that the battle for the battleground state of Ohio is all but decided.




and that makes them different from the rest of the liberals, how?

Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:22:26 AM EST
Thanks for getting my heart to bounce off the inside of my skull, Coyote!

Still, pretty funny!
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:25:51 AM EST
Whatever it takes to win, lie, cheat, steal, and eDwards will lead the riots following their loss.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:26:24 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:31:56 AM EST
"Vote early- and often!"
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:37:07 AM EST
Edited to add the important illegal alien vote.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:40:55 AM EST
PLEASE, Please tell me this is a joke! Because if it isn't, Im not laughing!
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:43:32 AM EST

spoke with Fernando Villareal who had arrived from Ciudad Jaurez two days before, riding under a tarp in a lettuce truck with 25 friends and relatives.


That's just one funny image.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:49:11 AM EST



Woody
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:51:38 AM EST
Someone needs to photoshop that dawn of the dead photo with a "The Dead Vote for Kerry".
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:53:54 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 6:55:01 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/25/2004 11:58:00 AM EST by Rabid_Coyote]
.
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 12:18:28 PM EST
BTT for evening consumption
Link Posted: 10/25/2004 12:20:44 PM EST
Very good work!!

The sad thing is if you change a few things, that really does sound like the democrats and how they operate.
Top Top