Hey everyone,

I just found out that I'm going to be a dad about a week ago. This will be our first child, and neither the wife and I know much about them.

So far, the wife has quit drinking caffeine. We've done a little reading about what things to avoid, etc.

So, this is a broad general post asking for any advice, tips, whatsoever.

She has an appointment to see the doctor this Wednesday. Questions I have are where can I go to take parenting classes? Any advice on a good crib and stroller to buy?

Thanks everyone.

Contact your health plan and see what they have.

Congrats.   Most of the things you need to know are common sense.    Check Consumer Reports on Cribs and strollers but most are GTG.    

Get some sleep now!!! There will not be any later.

Congratulations

Wipe away from you from clean to dirty, and fold inward  

Be on guard when taking a diaper off a boy.

The air hitting his squirt gun can cause an ND.

The plus side of that it's great blackmail material when they become teenagers.

Congrats... and yes... sleep now....

As a dad of six weeks today, I would say get your sleep now.  The one thing that amazed me was watching my wife turn into an amazing mother instantly.  Before my son was born, she didn't seem to know a whole lot about babies.  Squirt came along and there is this crazy maternal instinct the comes outta nowhere!  Congratulations!  9 months is gonna fly by.

Remember this, 1/4 teaspoon of olive oil in the baby formula to cure constipation.  Trust me, you'll get more sleep using this "recipe."  Also, wash all bedding, towels, and clothing before using it on or for the kiddo.

say goodbye to your social life!

Kids are like guns. Everyone thinks they've got an Ed Brown when it's really a RIA and no one's cruel enough to tell you that your kid has an idiot scratch...

Diapers are like ammo. You never have enough. When you THINK you have enough, BUY MORE. Go for the newborn ones first... buy NOW. Buy A LOT. You'll be going through diapers almost on the hour for the first few weeks and or months... buy diapers.

Don't worry about sterilizing everything all the time. It's a waste of time... you'll see what I mean... (first kid, everything's perfect... they drop their pacifier, you sterilize it... second kid, you wash it off... third kid, you just stick it back in)...

Don't worry about potty training until the kid is ready. It'll happen when they're ready, not when you are.

Crib: get one tha'ts approved by the CPSC (consumer product safety commission) and the bars are less than 2" apart... so his or her head doesn't get stuck. That would suck.

Don't be too concerned about all the cute little clothes... they'll outgrow them faster than you can say Shit! He/she outgrew them.

Buy them the little shoes. They look cute. Just don't spend a lot of money on them.

Hit up yard sales and garage ales and thrift stores for baby clothes. You'll be dealing with an eating, sleeping, pooping, spittiing up, puking, shitting, leaky diaper machine for months. Save the money for taking your wife out when you're able to...

Get one of the stroller/carrier combos... the carrier will lock into the stroller and it's easier to schlep the kid around that way.

Hope you got a vehicle with more than 2 doors. Car seats take up some space.

Don't put the car seat in the front unless you can shut off the passenger airbag.

Have a cop or firefighter check the fit of the car seat... sometimes cities have "car seat checking day" to make sure the little gits are safe.

Don't buy a car seat that's more than a couple years old if you go the used route. They sit in the sun and the plastic gets brittle.

Keep your kid in the backseat until he/she's like 60 pounds or something.

Formula or milk? Good question. Go with whichever one the kid doesn't throw back up... breast milk taes a few days to come in after birth... so the kid may be starving until it happens.

Kids are made out of silly putty. They're bendable. Don't be afraid to hold them. Love them like they're your own.

Make them move out at 18 and don't let them back in... until they realize they DON'T KNOW IT ALL.

Enjoy the next 7 months or so... sexy time with your woman is gret when you don't need protection... and then after the kid arrives, she's shut you out for 6 weeks... ( a lot of second pregnancies happen right around this time)...

Don't be those parents with the damn stroller in the way everywhere. Please. I beg you.

congrats man  my suggestions,  join a church and become an active member.  Start saving up money for when baby comes,  you will need it.  Be supportive of your wife and the changes her body is going to go through.   Go to her appointments with her.  

Make sure that yall (mainly her) know what you want during your delivery (type of birth, what for pain, wether or not to induce,  who is allowed in the labor and delivery room,  a back up support person incase something happens to you,  and a back up plans for all incase something goes unexpectedly).  Dont let the hospital or the doctor try to persuad yall to do something you dont want like a schedualed delivery with being induced or c-section if that is not what you want.  

Get the nursery done at least 6 weeks before the due date incase the due date is wrong or the baby comes really early.  

Let friends and family help you when they want,  you will need it.  

Try and be able to take off at least 2 weeks when baby arrives.  

be ready for a wild ride with your wifes hormones during and after pregnancy,  just remember its not you and she cant help it so be there for her even if she acts like she hates your gutts.

Your life is about to really change my friend,  on that day your baby is born it will be the best moment of your life.  This is also the time to become selfless and put God and your wife and kid before anything else in your life.  

God bless

Google Daddy Boot Camp. If you have one in your area go. They have a pretty good book also. Sign up with enfimil, similac, and everything baby related. We used to get lots of coupons every month.

don't lose your job.  make sure you got good health coverage.  put out 110% at work every day.  love your wife no matter what she says to you.  really.  

have a great life.  learn how to cook weird stuff.  make it fun.  it's all better in the kitchen.  

congratulations, sir.  

-tom

Excellent post.

Except for the highlighted part. Colostrum is there for a reason. Couple of days? Not for my wife.

As a Father of 4 including a set of Twins that are almost 13yrs old my best advice I can give you is to Start drinkin heavliy

It's all common sense for the most part.  And definitely, most definitely, be sure to take in every minute of it from here on out.  The old saying "They grow up fast" could not be more true.

+1 on that. We had SO many clothes that got worn 1 or no times when we had our daughter. all kinda nice jackets and things that only got worn once. Also make sure you have a good washer/dryer. They will be put to the test for the next few decades.






ETA this is the digital age. Don't forget to take pics and back them up well. I had to be reminded by the Dr to start taking pics when my daughter was born. I was too involved to remember.





 

Beat me to it, Congrats anyway!



 

Congrats!    Really encourage your wife to breastfeed; it's better for the baby and you will get more sleep (You won't be the one at 2am feeding the little one.)    Position them on their back to sleep.  Move the baby bed into your bedroom.  It's closer and much quicker than getting up and running to separate nursery room.

Dibs on guns.

Agree on a fair amount of child support and visitation now while you can still speak to each other without legal representation.

If you wife wants sex do it.

puffy vag FTMFW



And also, no matter how much you prep for, you will never be covered. Everyday is an new experience

What to Expect when You're Expecting is a decent, well-known book.

Start writing to the companies that do baby..... Diapers , soaps, foods.  Tell them your going to be a parent very soon and request samples as your are deciding what's best for your child.   You will get alot of free stuff.    You are gong to need it.

Forget about free time, and last minute ANYTHING.  Every simple trip out of the house is going to be like planning a major expedition.

Everything in moderation is what our Dr. said.

Caffeine is a go but limit alcohol and heroin.

Congrats!

Meet chick, go to Bosnia, come home, move in with her, Deploy, again, invade Iraq, come home for birth, go back, come home for 3 years, be a stay at home dad for your daughter and step kids, go to Missippi for hurricaine relief for 2 months, get a FED job, go back to Iraq, go to FLETC, come back, get divorced, get ready to deploy again......TTP=don't get married and get snipped

Don't tell people right away.

Start sleeping.

Be alert for mental changes both of you will be going through.  You and your wife need to clearly communicate through a difficult emotional time.  You both will have fears and happiness, often in conflict with each other.  

Avoid life stressors if at all possible.  Don't move or change jobs if it is avoidable.  (We moved, wife changed jobs, and had a kid in an 8 month period.  NOT FUN)

Save an additional 20% of your salary now...you'll be needing it.  If you can't, you need to cut, cut, cut.

Don't bother clouding your head with how to raise a two year old right now.  Deal with the steps as they come.  Right now, you have enough to worry about with the pregnancy itself.  

Finally, prepare for a shit storm of nesting from your wife.  My wife went into a nesting stage that drove me up a WALL.  She would literally wake up in the middle of the night and run into the new room and rearrange something before she "forgot".  

Oh yeah...it rocks!  Mine is 2 1/2 and we just returned from her first Disney World trip.  Good times.

Get a diaper bag that won't make you look gay when you have to carry it.

Blackhawk bag, after i told my stepson to get the diaper bag, and  he said "u mean the powder blue  purse?' the assault bag became the diaper bag

Your doctor can give you a list of parenting classes in your area or whichever hospital yall plan to give birth at will have classes. I for one learned more from books and the online forum The Bump.

Hope the grandparents are around. They are good to dump the kid on when you want some free time or to run errands. My sister is great at this.

I'll tell y6ou the same thing my daddy told me.

If you feed them, they will grow up.  





Seriously, in about 4 years you're gonna find out that watching them do something is more rewarding than doing it yourself.

u will become broke.


your basement will be filled with diaper boxes stuffed with clothes.


Your garage will look like a maersk cargo container was dropped off and  it shat Chinese stuffed animals everywhere.



eta: diaper genie II. get it and as many refills as possible..

This.  This times eleventy-billion.

You'll do fine, we've all been through it. Just take a common sense approach to it. And kids aren't as fragile as they may appear- that is after 6 months or so.

Start discipline early. I think we started at about 1 year. Nothing to draconian, but start somewhere. You don't want to have a 4 year old who has never been told 'No'.

to save yourself some stress form a schedule and stick to it for who gets up.  SInce i am up later than the wife she ould go to bed at ten and Id have kid duty until 2.  after 2 it was her turn since she gets up earlier.     worked out good for us because we could each get at least 4 hours of half decent sleep guaranteed.

Lots and lots of good advice in here.

You can't prepare yourself for the shock to your sleep cycle, but you get used to it after 4 or 5 months.  Ahh, sleep deprivation and late night/early morning sci-fi shows, it doesn't get any better than that.  It's well worth it though.  Congrats and good luck!

The best advice I can come up with, from my experiance, is ...be there.
My wife was the house-wife when the kids were growing up. I worked all the time. Between my regular job with overtime and side work I was only home when the kids were asleep. Maybe 2 or 3 days a month (on sundays) I was home when they were awake.
No matter how "poor" you are you can get by with less. Now most of my kids have kids and it seems like they were just learning to walk last week.
They grow up FAST.

And no, we didn't try to live beyond our means. We bought an old Mill house, a used vehicle, etc. But with so many kids (Hers, mine and ours....we had custody of all with NO help from our EXs) I felt like I had to work all the time to give  the kids everything they needed and most of what they wanted.  

Nothing is more important than being there.

Becoming a mom is an amazing natural instinct for most women... Not a bad thing.

Congrats OP and lots of good advice so far.  As I recall from long ago, the ONE thing you may not be aware of is the "nesting instinct" that will kick in before delivery and all I can say is good luck and be patient!  

THIS

Have fun, Dad.

Buy it now!  Before the wife can say, "no, that looks stupid" and you have to carry around a cherry blossom diaper bag.  No matter how much you tell yourself that yakuza guys have cherry blossom tattoos, you're still the guy with an oversized flowery purse.  Trust me on this!

Believe what scorpion12 says, he speakth the truth.

Relish the fact that you child is little, and appreciate everything, ie I can't wait until he/she is out of diapers etc. Your troubles will never quite go away, they problems will just shift. You kids will be your kids whether they are 4 or 40.

Great post.

Your world is about to change.

IM me before you list everything on the EE. I'll give you top dollar on everything you hold dear.

Take pics of each trimesters preggo boobs. BOTD and when your 50, you can remember what they were like.

Have lots of sex. By the time your kids in college, your dick won't work all the time and she will hate you for having a dick because her cat will have died by then.

Sleep as much as you can now. You will never sleep well again. By the time they are in college, you will have problems pissing and shitting and won't be able to sleep well.

Move at minimum 2,687.3 miles from your and her parents. They are great support, and excellent resource, and are the devil. Your wife will always be first even if you agree with your mom, dad, MIL, or Santa Clause.

Learn how to use a gun. Teach the wife as well. Teach your kid to as soon as he/ she is old enough to. If you have to ask why, log off, don't come back.

Don't worry about the pregnancy. That's her deal. You already didn't pull out fast enough and that's all your going to do till you cut the cord. What do you do with a with a five year old in a screaming fit or pissed teenager? Lean to parent. Buy a few books and read them twice.

A baby uses $5 of diapers, wipes, and butt stuff each day. Don't spend money on stupid outfits and cute decorations for the room. Buy diapers.

Buy a 5.11 Rush 12 and build your own diaper bag. You will look like a fag with whatever she is going to get for one. Or get the Rush 24 and shove the whole fucking fag looking diaper bag in your pack whenever your on duty.

Add your new baby to your health insurance policy. If you think insurance is expensive, for a three year old to get his tonsils out, cost $14,000.00. Don't fucking ask how I know because I'm still making payments on the deductible.

You may not have a motorcycle. Or that's what my wife says the definition of dad is. And if I can't, neither can you so what now?

As a father, you have a temporary assignment to be a parent but you have already committed to a life long mission to be a husband. You and sweet cheeks have to work or you will fail at both.

Contrary to what your hormonal, nesting wife will say, you do NOT need every baby gadget in the store.

There will be lots of good advice, and some tongue-in-cheek stuff I'm sure.



But I want to give you one piece of advice.



START PLANNING FOR COLLEGE NOW.



Seriously, if you start now, it will be much easier when you get there, and if you have another child, you'll be grateful you started early. Over the past 10 years, I've seen way too many colleagues who said they'd worry about it later, only to now have kids who are either about to go to college, or have only a few years until they will start.



If you think of in-State tuition, room and board at being easily some $20K a year today, aiming for an $80K college fund in today's money isn't such a bad thing. Now, assuming that Obongo the Halfrican doesn't completely inflate the shit out of the dollar, I'd bet on it being at least double.



Yeah, $160K spent at the end of 22 years, never mind what kids cost already! How are you going to do that? Well with 18 years and maybe an 8% average return in a 529 plan you need to put away about $240 a month from now. Or you can freak out like so many other parents do when their kid goes to High School and pray to god they can afford the loans for the next 30 years.



Congratulations. Kids are awesome, but raising them can be expensive, and your priorities will change.