Need help out of this, guys.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Need help out of this, guys.

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:50:00 PM EDT

This chicky snack of mine I hook up with on and off sent me a text message tonight. It said "How would you rate my sexual performance on a scale of 1-10?"

Immediately after reading this, my first reaction was:

So I ignored the text message. Hours later she sends me another text asking if it was too blunt for me to answer. So I literally respond saying "It's a trap."

She says "no it's not I want to know for myself I ask because you say I'm good or great, and Mike (her on/off boyfriend) says the same thing but is it in general??"

So I say, "Is what in general?" in an attempt to stall.

She says "Like between the oral and the actual doing or do I do good at both or just one? I wouldn't ask a question like this if I wasn't serious and I know you would tell me the truth."

So I say "The actual act is fine by me, oral you lose points on cause while you're pretty good at it, getting you to do it is like pulling teeth."

So now she sends me a message that says "So on a scale of 1-10?"

I wouldn't say 10, maybe an 8. Honestly, I'm satisfied, or else why would I keep hitting it? But I can't say "8" or "I'm satisfied" because, well, you know how well that would go. This is like a wife asking how good her cooking is. Either way the answer effects future pie, but this weighs in more.

How would you answer if you were in my shoes? My instinct says go ahead with the 8 and let her actual boyfriend take the pressure of it, but I wanted to see how you guys handled this one.

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:52:46 PM EDT

[#1]

Ignore, find some strange.

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:52:52 PM EDT

[#2]

Do you want to hit it again?????? Then I think you know the answer...

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:52:56 PM EDT

[#3]

Honestly.

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:53:20 PM EDT

[#4]

Tell her

A 1 is the best rating she can get, she loses 5 points for not taking it in the ass, and 4 more points for not doing ATM

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:54:20 PM EDT

[#5]

Tell her she's a 1

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:55:32 PM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
Ignore, find some strange.

I don't know, that sounds pretty strange to me.

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:55:35 PM EDT

[#7]

How does Mike taste?

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:56:42 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
How does Mike taste?

Good question, I don't venture around there with that in mind.

I answered saying "Hmm." She shot back with "You are such a tease, lol."

I think I'm off the hook. For now.

Posted: 1/25/2009 6:59:02 PM EDT

[#9]

Absolutely a trap.

There is no right answer to this one.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:04:46 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Absolutely a trap.

There is no right answer to this one.

I think I found that answer. See above.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:06:35 PM EDT

[#11]

"Come on over and we'll work it out."

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:09:40 PM EDT

[#12]

Tell her you need to do more research before issuing an opinion.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:10:06 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
How does Mike taste?

a 10

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:12:59 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
"Come on over and we'll work it out."

This is the best answer so far.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:14:34 PM EDT

[#15]

Correct response is:

" I have insufficient data to evaluate. Require more data immediatly."

Then tell her the truth after a grudge fuck, and tell her to leave.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:16:53 PM EDT

[#16]

9.9 so you can still get the pie. Anything less...well you wont see the puddy poo for a long time.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:19:31 PM EDT

[#17]

Cant believe im the first...

PICS OR BS......

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:24:35 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Tell her

A 1 is the best rating she can get, she loses 5 points for not taking it in the ass, and 4 more points for not doing ATM

now this guy knows what he's talking about!

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:24:47 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Cant believe im the first...

PICS OR BS......

Easy.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:24:59 PM EDT

[#20]

While I have to side with your first response, I think the_ak_kid wins for best answer.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:27:10 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
While I have to side with your first response, I think the_ak_kid wins for best answer.

Sorry, I think Taxman wins it with this:

Quoted:
Tell her

A 1 is the best rating she can get, she loses 5 points for not taking it in the ass, and 4 more points for not doing ATM

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:29:30 PM EDT

[#22]

Wait for it, pretty soon "MIKE" will chime in on this thread, as he likely got the same text message from her that the OP did and has an ARFCOM account to. Pure EPIC thread waiting to happen.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:33:44 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Cant believe im the first...

PICS OR BS......

Easy.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y202/SnakeMGS4/picsgtfo.jpg

2 1/2. Tell her she needs more practice.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:46:07 PM EDT

[#24]

I was asked the same thing once, also via text. I said something like 'oh something like a 9.43333' and she replied with 'oh yea? how do i get that bumped up to a ten?' the rest is history.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:52:53 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Wait for it, pretty soon "MIKE" will chime in on this thread, as he likely got the same text message from her that the OP did and has an ARFCOM account to. Pure EPIC thread waiting to happen.

I doubt it.

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:55:16 PM EDT

[#26]

so your the other guy? that must be nice

Posted: 1/25/2009 7:59:41 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
so your the other guy? that must be nice

Look at the other side of the coin. "No strings sex" suddenly sounds like a plus, doesn't it.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:02:10 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:

Quoted:
so your the other guy? that must be nice

Look at the other side of the coin. "No strings sex" suddenly sounds like a plus, doesn't it.

no doesnt work for me. my self esteem is either too high or low to stomach the situation your in

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:03:53 PM EDT

[#29]

Does she give good nose?

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:03:59 PM EDT

[#30]

I would wait until I was out of Junior High to answer that.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:06:08 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:

Quoted:
so your the other guy? that must be nice

Look at the other side of the coin. "No strings sex" suddenly sounds like a plus, doesn't it.

no doesnt work for me. my self esteem is either too high or low to stomach the situation your in

I wouldn't say I'm in a situation. Every week or two I get the booty call from her (whatcha up to/wanna hang out?), and we both know where it's going.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:09:46 PM EDT

[#32]

Damn she looks like my ex-wife!She wasn't worth a SHIT in bed!!!!!!

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:11:00 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Damn she looks like my ex-wife!She wasn't worth a SHIT in bed!!!!!!

Welll!!!

There is the "help" he has been looking for!

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:14:00 PM EDT

[#34]

tell her for a 10 rating she would need to milk your prostate.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:19:50 PM EDT

[#35]

You should be wondering why she's asking this question. That's what matters.

You oughtta be leery of any chick who has an on-again, off-again boyfriend and a fuck buddy on the side. Don't lend her any money.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:23:59 PM EDT

[#36]

Tell her you rate the pie 3.14

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:29:31 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
You should be wondering why she's asking this question. That's what matters.

You oughtta be leery of any chick who has an on-again, off-again boyfriend and a fuck buddy on the side. Don't lend her any money.

I wouldn't lend her any money. We know each other back from high school, so there's a friendship or history of sorts established. I wouldn't make a girlfriend out of her though.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:32:00 PM EDT

[#38]

You should respond... " never really thought of it that way , come blow me and i'll rate the performance with a fresh outlook.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:33:39 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You should be wondering why she's asking this question. That's what matters.

You oughtta be leery of any chick who has an on-again, off-again boyfriend and a fuck buddy on the side. Don't lend her any money.

I wouldn't lend her any money. We know each other back from high school, so there's a friendship or history of sorts established. I wouldn't make a girlfriend out of her though.

Be sure you wear a rubber, dude.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:33:41 PM EDT

[#40]

MARILYN MANSON LYRICS

"User Friendly"

Use me when you want to come
I've bled just to have your touch
When I'm in you I want to die

User friendly fucking dopestar obscene
Will you die when you're high
You'd never die just for me
She says,
"I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you
'til somebody better comes along."

Use me like I was a whore
Relationships are such a bore
Deleted the ones that you've fucked

User friendly fucking dopestar obscene
Will you die when you're high
You'd never die just for me
She says,
"I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you
'til somebody better comes along."

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:47:20 PM EDT

[#41]

Just tell her a ten......what's the harm in it. If things don't work out, then move on. Make her happy.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:52:27 PM EDT

[#42]

Tell her you need an immediate sample to make a proper judgement. First anal, then oral. If she doesn't get the poop off give her a bad review.

Posted: 1/25/2009 8:57:55 PM EDT

[#43]

She loses 2 points for the panda pajamas.

Posted: 1/25/2009 9:08:53 PM EDT

[#44]

She could be a fatty, the kind that has the metabolism that dumps fat around her midsection instead of equal distribution all over her slutty body.

The pic does show her with a naughty, nappy quality. We at AR-15.Com need to see more to properly analyze her true sluttiness.

Posted: 1/25/2009 9:13:12 PM EDT

[#45]

You should say that she was pretty good, like an 8. However, tell her you were just about ready to text her regarding this sore that was developing on your pecker.

Posted: 1/25/2009 9:17:56 PM EDT

[#46]

Lie. Tell her what she wants to hear. Tell her that her vagina goes to 11.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Need help out of this, guys.

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