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Posted: 5/13/2004 4:11:28 AM EST
i have before me a return envelope and a long letter from john kerry telling me how bad a shape the US is in, that he has a "plan" to fix it and for me to send him some money to get that evil bush out of office

my current idea is to mail him a penny and a post it note politely telling him to take it and shove it

but i knoooooooooooow arfcom can come up with something better so help me out here
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:12:58 AM EST
Sounds like some photoshopping is in order.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:13:36 AM EST
First, post the letter....!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:15:44 AM EST
If its postage paid, then something heavy - like an old laptop battery.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:17:48 AM EST
suspicious white powder
tape reply card to brick
empty envelope

Fill envelope with shredded paper. Throw your penny in with that. Make sure the note is the same size as the penny.

Put note+penny in a smaller envelope, and wrap it thoroughly with picture wire, then put "wired" envelope inside Kerry's. (Scissors won't easily cut picture wire.)

Wait a minute...get both. Small "wired" envelope packed along with shredded paper.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:19:02 AM EST
Get replica medals at a surplus store or a gun show.

Send them to him and tell him that now he wants to be in charge of the military, he might want his back.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:19:56 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:24:49 AM EST
no damnit, unfortunately enough postage is not prepaid so i have to spend 37 cents in order to make an ass out of myself but well worth the price i think

letter is two pages of bullshit, i might type it up later today
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:26:42 AM EST
Mail the entire packet to Castro.

ktm500
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:28:37 AM EST

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:
letter is two pages of bullshit, i might type it up later today



scan it...
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:29:35 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:30:33 AM EST
Send in a body fluid sample of your choice.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:33:05 AM EST

Originally Posted By BenDover:
Get replica medals at a surplus store or a gun show.
Send them to him and tell him that now he wants to be in charge of the military, he might want his back.



And affix them to an emtpy bottle of Heinz CATSUP. Where the ingredient label is, stick a picture of him and Hanoi Jane... Fill the bottle with piss and three letters: A-R-T (children's magnetic types would work). Put a band-aid on it for good measure.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 4:37:15 AM EST
Send a note telling him you spent your last $20 on a blow job from Teresa.....then send in the body fluid.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:34:32 AM EST
come on arfcom, that can't be all ya got!!!!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:00:47 AM EST
here is what you need
1-cardboard box
1-lantern battery
1-pound of clay
lots of different wires
1-Nitro pill(for people with bad hearts)
1-roll of duck tape
1 electronic looking gadget

Note: secure all things that go into package

Step one- take the clay and put it in the box

Step two- put battery in box

Step three-line the inside of the box with wires. Also connect the clay to the battery.

Step four- conect the electronic gadget to the battery or clay

Step five- crush up the nitro pill and sprinkle it all over the package.

Step six- tape box closed. Make sure to get some nitro on the back side of the tape.

Last step- Mail of to the address and sit back and watch to see if it makes it on the news
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:22:06 AM EST
Send a 10 lb stack of the Iraqi GWB Dinars from registered.com using their post paid envelope on the box.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:23:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By BayEagle:
If its postage paid, then something heavy - like an old laptop battery.



i was thinking a car battery, but ok.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:25:31 AM EST

Originally Posted By tc6969:
Put the NRA's latest plea for money in the Kerry envelope and send it back!



I like that one!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:27:00 AM EST
Just take every anti-kerry photoshop you can find, print them, and include them in the envelop with your $.01 donation.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:31:39 AM EST
Don't send him a penny.

SEND HIM A PESO!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:33:12 AM EST
No, send him a penny. As I understand it (and I could be wrong) every legal tender donation has to be recorded, and it takes several dollars worth of time/aggravation/postage to record a $.01 donation.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:41:42 AM EST

Originally Posted By BenDover:
Get replica medals at a surplus store or a gun show.

Send them to him and tell him that now he wants to be in charge of the military, he might want his back.




AWSOME!!!!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:43:21 AM EST
Make it 2 pennies . With all of the photoshop shit . DO NOT SEND ANY OF THIS FAKE BOMB SHIT OR WHITE POWDERS . YOU WILL be FUBAR.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:57:09 AM EST
send him random porn pics of fat women

or gay porn would probably work too.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 10:02:14 AM EST
Send him a penny and a pic.


Link Posted: 5/13/2004 10:05:27 AM EST
Wipe your ass witha stack of Canadian 5 dollar bills seal them in a zip lock bag and mail it to him.
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