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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 1/18/2006 9:36:37 AM EST
An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In Francewe eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France."

Link Posted: 1/18/2006 9:38:00 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 9:41:18 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 9:45:22 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 9:49:22 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 10:49:38 AM EST
And the French swallow when they are done!
Link Posted: 1/18/2006 11:40:53 AM EST
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 4:59:36 PM EST
<Inspector Clouseau>Bimp.</Inspector Clouseau>
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 5:54:24 PM EST
Sorry dude, but there really aren't any "nasty" French jokes. Good French jokes, Funny French jokes, appropriate French jokes, but there really aren't any "nasty" French jokes. I don't really know if there are any French jokes that aren't funny.

Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:02:05 PM EST
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:04:58 PM EST
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:09:18 PM EST
[Last Edit: 2/8/2006 6:09:43 PM EST by WyattEarp]
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:11:12 PM EST
Someone needs to photo shop pictures of American fighter aircraft, Soldiers, Marines , Tanks, Ships etc. with the saying "This monument (or location) protected courtesy of the United States Military" and have them made into 4x6 stickers (those stickker that are very difficult to remove)and plaster them all over Paris while on a tour or vacation. Like when leaving the small cafe smack one down on the table top, the elevator in the Eiffel Tower, the front door of Chirac's house, tc.
Link Posted: 2/8/2006 6:11:24 PM EST
[Last Edit: 2/8/2006 6:12:01 PM EST by prk]
It seems the French have mostly replaced the Polish as our favorite target. Not that it's not deserved....

Link Posted: 2/9/2006 3:51:22 AM EST
The Polish people and government have proven themselves to be our friends and allies. A sad testiment to the honor of the French when a former adversary (cold war) is a better and more loyal friend than a country saved TWICE by us.

As a result, I'll never again tell a Polish joke..
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:16:13 AM EST
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:16:57 AM EST
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:18:18 AM EST
I love it
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:22:07 AM EST
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:22:43 AM EST
Actually, that's not really that funny. Even though it's slamming the French.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 4:42:15 AM EST
An air liner is flying across the ocean when suddenly one of its engines dies with a horrible coughing sound audible throughout the entire plane. The captain comes on the PA and tells the passengers, "Don't worry folks, we just lost an engine but it'll only delay us by an hour."

A few minutes later, however, another engine bursts into flames and begins producing incredible amounts of smoke. The captain shuts it down and announces that everything is still fine, but they'll be three hours late in arriving at their destination, which has been changed to the closest available airport.

Shortly after that, a third engine explodes spectacularly, jolting the entire aircraft. The captain apologizes and says that not only will they be six hours late, but they have to jettison all cargo and luggage to keep the plane light enough to make it back safely. He informs the passengers that all of their luggage is insured and they will be compensated for their loss by the airline agency.

Not long after, however, the fourth engine also mysteriously dies, leaving the plane with only one engine, insufficient to keep them aloft the entire time. Doing quick mental calculations, he figures out how much weight he can jettison in order to keep the plane aloft long enough to make an emergency landing. But there's no more cargo or luggage to get rid of. So he announces over the PA that the plane should still make it to the airport safely if three volunteers from the crew or passengers jump out of the plane.

The plane was silent for a long moment, then three men among the passengers silently stood up and walked down the aisle to where a panicky stewardess was waiting to open the door. The first was an elderly indian man who approached the open doorway, shouted "Geronimo!" and leaped out of the airplane.

The second volunteer was a Frenchman with terminal cancer. Deciding he'd rather go out in a blaze of glory, he shouted "Viva la France!" and jumped out the plane.

The third man to step up was a Texan, complete with boots, jeans, and hat. He loudly announced to the other passengers, "Remember the Alamo!" and threw a Mexican out of the airplane.
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