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Posted: 9/10/2005 5:28:32 PM EDT
OK, guys get your minds out of the gutter. Not that way.

I told the surgery supply nurse that I was upset because we only had left sided clips for tubal ligations and that we were out of the right ones. I told her because she wasnt doing her job we would not be able to clip anymore tubes until she ordered some right away. She looked at me witha blank panicked stare and said she would look into it right away. For those that dont know, there are no lefts and rights, they are all exactly the same and come in a pair per package. She ended up looking it up in catalogs and asking other people. She came over later and was not happy with me!
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:32:03 PM EDT
My dad use to tell new guys on the construction crew to go to the truck and get a "board stretcher".
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:32:20 PM EDT
Careful doc or you'll wake up one morning wondering what else they did to you while you were out besides insert the cath.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:32:22 PM EDT
* shaking head *
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:33:21 PM EDT
Oh, like you guys never had any fun with the newbies on the job.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:34:23 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:35:41 PM EDT
"Go get the box of grid squares."
"Go get the M9 zeroing targets."
"Find me a 100' spool of flight line."
"Hey, take this key and go start the HMMWV up."
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:37:26 PM EDT
I guess you had to be there............
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:38:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Phil_in_Seattle:
Careful doc or you'll wake up one morning wondering what else they did to you while you were out besides insert the cath.



Or in a bathtub full of ice with a note taped to your forehead or scribbled on the mirror in lipstick and you'll be wondering where that 'other' kidney went.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:39:07 PM EDT
Told I guy who worked for me to go fill up the drinking fountain .. Spent 1/2 hour dumping buckets of water into it..
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:40:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/10/2005 6:29:08 PM EDT by Doug_H]
There is a lubmer store near my house where a manager pulled the rubber grip off of a hammer, put the end of an electrical cord through a hole in the bottom, and tied a knot in the end to keep it in. He put the grip back on, so by appearances, it looked like an electric hammer. When the highschool kids got summer jobs there, he would give one the hammer, and tell him to break apart a small stack of pallets with it. Most would not ask any questions, just plug it in, and start hammering away!
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:40:16 PM EDT
sky hooks
left handed screwdriver
door strecher
left handed hammer
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:40:46 PM EDT
I work in a limestone mill. They use these two large steel hooks on a loop of chain to pick up slabs of stone. These hooks are called "dogs". Dimples are made in each end of the stone with hand picks, and the tips of the dogs are placed in these dimples and are held in place by the chain's tension pulling inward. These picked dimples in the stone's ends are obviously called "dog holes". When we hire a new guy, someone always gives him a bucket and sends him to the other end of the mill to fetch a bucketful of dog holes.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:41:29 PM EDT
You do realize that someday they are going to wheel you into surgery and this nurse will be standing over you smiling.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:43:28 PM EDT
Cable Stretcher
6' of flight line
Gallon of Jet Wash
K9P Oil (Sent a Mechanic to the MPs looking for that)

and a whole bunch more I can't remember.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:44:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/10/2005 6:19:26 PM EDT by out-a-ammo]

Originally Posted By Doug_H:
There is a libmer store near my house where a manager pulled the rubber grip off of a hammer, put the end of an electrical cord through a hole in the bottom, and tied a knot in the end to keep it in. He put the grip back on, so by appearances, it looked like an electric hammer. When the highschool kids got summer jobs there, he would give one the hammer, and tell him to break apart a small stack of pallets with it. Most would not ask any questions, just plug it in, and start hammering away!



Did they have flexible hours?

Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:44:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:48:07 PM EDT
Fallopian tubes for the Radar...........
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:48:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Aimless:
Pshaw, I have a much better "nailing a nurse" story.



Just one nurse? Boooorinng.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:48:30 PM EDT
FYI .....battery, part number BA eleven hundred N (BA1100N), needs to be ordered using form number ID ten T (ID10T)...

....and you better get some magnetic bearing grease while you are there, at supply....
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:51:17 PM EDT
One of our brand-new assistant managers was told to get a "pole stretcher" from the back. He looked and looked and asked everybody where one was. One of the other assistants told him to call the other store. (While he was looking around, one the assistant managers in on the joke had called the other store to warn them of his call) He called them and they said, come on over and get it. He went over there and they told him that the store in the next town borrowed it. While he was enroute to that store, the second store told them to send him to the next store and so on..He got discouraged and asked our store manager if he could rent a piece of equipment for the store. The store manager told him okay, but forgot to ask him what he was going to get.

So the brand new, trying to show initiative and make an impression assistant manager shows up with a gas-powered auger. It was the only thing the people at the rental store could figure was the closest thing he was looking for. The store manager was pretty hot at the other stores and the other assistant managers for the $150 rental fee..There wasn't a whole lot of orchestrated kidding around after that.

One of the cashiers was told to page a price check on red and yellow striped paint, they hit her for another one the next day, blue and purple dotted paint..I myself almost fell for the shelf stretcher gag, but the tip off was when they said it was in the basement. They laughed their butts off when I turned around and asked, "Basement?"
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:53:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By txgp17:
sky hooks
left handed screwdriver
door strecher
left handed hammer



I actually made a left handed hammer once. I was helping a friend at his black smith shop. Took a 3# sledge head and mated it to a hunk of hickory. Then carved it out with a very slight twist.
My friend was a lefty and saw the humor in it. The others in the shop hated it. For them it never hit flat.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:55:27 PM EDT
Go get me a box of ground guides.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:56:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/10/2005 5:58:04 PM EDT by MudBug]

Originally Posted By j-fonz:
My dad use to tell new guys on the construction crew to go to the truck and get a "board stretcher".



We did it, but we called it a beam stretcher, on the day we set trusses we sometimes sent the new guy for a sky hook.


ETA: I forgot Tow Nails. We need a box of Tow Tails.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 5:57:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By txgp17:
sky hooks
left handed screwdriver
door strecher
left handed hammer



Bucket of steam to steam out a dent in a wood door.....

Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:01:39 PM EDT
Just flip over the left sided clips, and you can use them on the right.





Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:04:00 PM EDT
on the way back from delivery stop by mikes and get the oil changed. Oh and dont forget to get em to check the blinker fluid.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:04:56 PM EDT
Can of black and yellow safety stripe paint.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:05:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
OK, guys get your minds out of the gutter. Not that way.

I told the surgery supply nurse that I was upset because we only had left sided clips for tubal ligations and that we were out of the right ones. I told her because she wasnt doing her job we would not be able to clip anymore tubes until she ordered some right away. She looked at me witha blank panicked stare and said she would look into it right away. For those that dont know, there are no lefts and rights, they are all exactly the same and come in a pair per package. She ended up looking it up in catalogs and asking other people. She came over later and was not happy with me!



leave the bullshit out of the hospital doc

I hope to see a post from a nurse "nailed a doc" soon
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:09:12 PM EDT
Concrete stretcher.

On a construction site when making a concrete pour, it’s always fun, when you’re getting near the end of the pour, to send some newbie laborer to the tool trailer to get a “concrete stretcher” so that we don’t run out of concrete.

viator
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:13:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/10/2005 6:15:23 PM EDT by ARDOC]

Originally Posted By FordGuy:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
OK, guys get your minds out of the gutter. Not that way.

I told the surgery supply nurse that I was upset because we only had left sided clips for tubal ligations and that we were out of the right ones. I told her because she wasnt doing her job we would not be able to clip anymore tubes until she ordered some right away. She looked at me witha blank panicked stare and said she would look into it right away. For those that dont know, there are no lefts and rights, they are all exactly the same and come in a pair per package. She ended up looking it up in catalogs and asking other people. She came over later and was not happy with me!



leave the bullshit out of the hospital doc

I hope to see a post from a nurse "nailed a doc" soon



WTF is your malfunction? You need to take yourself a lot less seriously. You have no idea what you are talking about.

ETA: I know the nurses very well, many are my friends and play jokes on each other all the time. If you have no experience with humor at work, I feel sorry for you because most likely you are a humorless nonsocial person without friends.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:25:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By FordGuy:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
OK, guys get your minds out of the gutter. Not that way.

I told the surgery supply nurse that I was upset because we only had left sided clips for tubal ligations and that we were out of the right ones. I told her because she wasnt doing her job we would not be able to clip anymore tubes until she ordered some right away. She looked at me witha blank panicked stare and said she would look into it right away. For those that dont know, there are no lefts and rights, they are all exactly the same and come in a pair per package. She ended up looking it up in catalogs and asking other people. She came over later and was not happy with me!



leave the bullshit out of the hospital doc

I hope to see a post from a nurse "nailed a doc" soon



WTF is your malfunction? You need to take yourself a lot less seriously. You have no idea what you are talking about.

ETA: I know the nurses very well, many are my friends and play jokes on each other all the time. If you have no experience with humor at work, I feel sorry for you because most likely you are a humorless nonsocial person without friends.



no problem, Hawkeye, you obviously are the life of the party there, and no doubt a popular socialite as a result of your denigration of poor newbie nurses. In case you didn't catch on, I wasn't the only one who just didn't burst into a raving cackle at your childish idiocy.

I'm sure you need humor in a hospital, and maybe you chose the proper person, place, and time, but you sure made it sound like you took advantage of the lady. so if i'm wrong, then excuse me. But by all means, keep the side splitting humor coming!
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:35:34 PM EDT
Anyone in the military have the new guys looking for soft spots in the armor of a 113 or a Bradley with a ball peen hammer and a piece of chalk. After the vehical was covered in big circles and big circles with an x threw it we usually sent them looking for cans of squelch or a box of grid squares.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:46:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FordGuy:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By FordGuy:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
OK, guys get your minds out of the gutter. Not that way.

I told the surgery supply nurse that I was upset because we only had left sided clips for tubal ligations and that we were out of the right ones. I told her because she wasnt doing her job we would not be able to clip anymore tubes until she ordered some right away. She looked at me witha blank panicked stare and said she would look into it right away. For those that dont know, there are no lefts and rights, they are all exactly the same and come in a pair per package. She ended up looking it up in catalogs and asking other people. She came over later and was not happy with me!



leave the bullshit out of the hospital doc

I hope to see a post from a nurse "nailed a doc" soon



WTF is your malfunction? You need to take yourself a lot less seriously. You have no idea what you are talking about.

ETA: I know the nurses very well, many are my friends and play jokes on each other all the time. If you have no experience with humor at work, I feel sorry for you because most likely you are a humorless nonsocial person without friends.



no problem, Hawkeye, you obviously are the life of the party there, and no doubt a popular socialite as a result of your denigration of poor newbie nurses. In case you didn't catch on, I wasn't the only one who just didn't burst into a raving cackle at your childish idiocy.

I'm sure you need humor in a hospital, and maybe you chose the proper person, place, and time, but you sure made it sound like you took advantage of the lady. so if i'm wrong, then excuse me. But by all means, keep the side splitting humor coming!



Bahhah!



Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:53:43 PM EDT
That ain't nothing, I got two ink pens I never use - one has a problem mispelling words, and the other can't write long words.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:55:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Aimless:
Pshaw, I have a much better "nailing a nurse" story.



+1 but just for ARDOC I'll give my best Jimmy Buffet impersonation [join with me].

I really do appreciate the fact you?re sittin? here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But yer face don?t look too clear
So bar maid bring a pitcher, another round o? brew
Honey, why don?t we get drunk and screw


Why don?t we get drunk and screw
I just bought a water bed, it?s filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen
Honey I don?t think that?s true
So, why don?t we get drunk and screw

pick it coral reefers, here we go...


Why don?t we get drunk and screw
I just bought a waterbed it?s filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen
Honey I don?t think that?s true
So why don?t we get drunk and screw
Yeah, now baby I say, (lord!)
Why don?t we get drunk and screw

Did you all know there was a drink called Lets Get Drunk And Screw?

Its a variation of the classic screw driver. Patty

Ingredients
0 glass Vodka
0 Ice
1 Raspberry Syrup
0 glass Cranberry juice
Mixing Instruction
fill the glass with ice.add the raspberry surup and vodka. stir. then pour in the cranberry juice.and a little bit of grapefruit juice. stir and serve

Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:58:26 PM EDT
That has to be the most classic song in the OR. Too cliche now. But I usually like the Beach Boys, Eagles or the Barenaked Ladies playing in the OR. Sometimes an 80s station.

Oh my, a Ob/Gyn whos favorite group is called the Barenaked Ladies! The irony! Who would have thunk it!
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:58:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Doug_H:
There is a lubmer store near my house where a manager pulled the rubber grip off of a hammer, put the end of an electrical cord through a hole in the bottom, and tied a knot in the end to keep it in. He put the grip back on, so by appearances, it looked like an electric hammer. When the highschool kids got summer jobs there, he would give one the hammer, and tell him to break apart a small stack of pallets with it. Most would not ask any questions, just plug it in, and start hammering away!











Link Posted: 9/10/2005 6:59:36 PM EDT
I can't believe no one mentioned chem. light batteries yet. Chem light batteries and a can of squelch were what we always used.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:01:09 PM EDT
I "nail" a nurse regularly. I'm married to one.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:02:02 PM EDT
We used to send our new guys to the armory for a can of tracer paint, or to the C.O. for a box of grid squares.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:03:08 PM EDT
But if you really want to make friends with a nurse, bring her some chocolate or a Dove bar after a long shift and you'll have friend for life.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:03:37 PM EDT
How about a radiator hose for a VW--------- they are air cooled.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:04:21 PM EDT
How bout relative bearing grease? Or....the radio-you know, the pric E-5? They found that one

Nick
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:04:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
That has to be the most classic song in the OR. Too cliche now. But I usually like the Beach Boys, Eagles or the Barenaked Ladies playing in the OR. Sometimes an 80s station.

Oh my, a Ob/Gyn whos favorite group is called the Barenaked Ladies! The irony! Who would have thunk it!



Too funny! When I get the kidlets to bed I'll go through my Frank Zappa collection. I'm sure he has something that will make your Barenaked Ladies blush.....what's that one song? Not don't eat yellow snow but from the same album?

Patty
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:06:39 PM EDT
Patty anymore stapling of animals?
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:07:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/10/2005 7:09:09 PM EDT by Spade]

Originally Posted By FordGuy:
no problem, Hawkeye, you obviously are the life of the party there, and no doubt a popular socialite as a result of your denigration of poor newbie nurses. In case you didn't catch on, I wasn't the only one who just didn't burst into a raving cackle at your childish idiocy.

I'm sure you need humor in a hospital, and maybe you chose the proper person, place, and time, but you sure made it sound like you took advantage of the lady. so if i'm wrong, then excuse me. But by all means, keep the side splitting humor coming!




Ha!

My uncle's an OR nurse, and I've heard much much worse stories than the one told, going in both directions.

It's how they keep the mood light and cheerful (which is a good working environment) in a place where a lot of people fucking die.
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:10:17 PM EDT
Tracked vehicle cherry checks:
Send them for a-
Metric crescent wrench
Backblast bag
Or just have the newb crawl up top with a big brown trash bag to catch an exhaust sample
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:14:24 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Spade:

Originally Posted By FordGuy:
no problem, Hawkeye, you obviously are the life of the party there, and no doubt a popular socialite as a result of your denigration of poor newbie nurses. In case you didn't catch on, I wasn't the only one who just didn't burst into a raving cackle at your childish idiocy.

I'm sure you need humor in a hospital, and maybe you chose the proper person, place, and time, but you sure made it sound like you took advantage of the lady. so if i'm wrong, then excuse me. But by all means, keep the side splitting humor coming!




Ha!

My uncle's an OR nurse, and I've heard much much worse stories than the one told, going in both directions.

It's how they keep the mood light and cheerful (which is a good working environment) in a place where a lot of people fucking die.



Exactly. One of the general surgeons is a rabid Buckeye fan. Last year we decorated his OR with all Michigan stuff. All the nurses and techs were dressed in blue and yellow scrubs. It was hilarious. The pictures are still circulating.

People die in the OR everyday. I still remember the day, I had to transfuse over 70 units of blood and blood products to keep this lady alive. Wow I aged 10 years that day. Literally the blood was up to my ankles and it was flowing down the hallway. But she lived and is still ticking.

Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:16:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By WooDy_the_infidel:
I "nail" a nurse regularly. I'm married to one.


Join the club!
Link Posted: 9/10/2005 7:18:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FordGuy:

no problem, Hawkeye, you obviously are the life of the party there, and no doubt a popular socialite as a result of your denigration of poor newbie nurses. In case you didn't catch on, I wasn't the only one who just didn't burst into a raving cackle at your childish idiocy.

I'm sure you need humor in a hospital, and maybe you chose the proper person, place, and time, but you sure made it sound like you took advantage of the lady. so if i'm wrong, then excuse me. But by all means, keep the side splitting humor coming!



FordGuy.. ease up there.. a little humor in a job (Especially a high stress one) can be a great ice breaker.. I was both on the giving and the receiving end of those practical jokes. it lightens the mood.

Believe it or not, when a newbie is on the receiving end of a practical joke, it eases the tension of a new person trying to fit it. By BEING part of the joke, it is 10 times better than being ignored and yelled at.

do you agree?
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