Garden Weasel, ROTFLMAO!
I work as a bouncer at a bar, so drunks lose their comedy after a while, but I love it when I throw one out for being disruptive, and his friend who is even more drunk tries to approach the police officers working their extra job to apologize for his friend's behavior.
So he stumbles over to the ploice offcier and slaps him on the shoulder and says," Hey man, I'm phucking soooorry about my friend, he drinks waaaaaaaaayyyy too much. I'm going to take him home right now. ... Can you get the a**hole who is double parked tocome out and move his car so I can get out of here?"
Then the cop asks, "Does that A**hole have lights on top of his car."
"Yeah," says the guy, " He should really learn to drive, I hate those phuckers, they think they can do anything, if here right now, I'd whip his A**!"
i love that, it is pretty funny.