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Posted: 9/16/2005 8:28:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/16/2005 8:30:06 PM EDT by COLT6721A3]
Caught my wife cheating 4 years ago ... we are now divorced and she lives with the guy. I have custody of my 5 year old son and she has visitation. I get a call from her this evening saying to get to the hospital quick because my son broke his arm ... I flipped out and started screaming asking what the fuck was going on, blah, blah, blah ...

I show up frantic and find them in triage. I have the health insurance so obviously I have to get that out of the way. My son is in severe pain and his right arm looks like an S. He is in kindergarten and he is right handed. His teacher already said he needs to improve his printing skills and we have been working real hard at it every night for the past several weeks. Now he has a full arm cast in a sling ... no more writing for him for six weeks.

I find out that him and his half-sister were outside playing unsupervised. They took a ladder from the side of their house and put it up under a tree so they could make a swing with a piece of rope. While on the ladder it folded up and he fell and broke his fall with his arm.

Should I go a sue her and her boyfriend that owns the house? I mean we have a 5 year old playing outside unsupervised and grabs a ladder to play with .... Let's just say I am still pretty furious about it and he was already challenged in kindergarten and now things are gonna be even worse ... If it was his neck that broke and not his arm I would be in prison tonight ...

Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:30:17 PM EDT
Just go break her arm.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:30:31 PM EDT
No
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:30:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CZ75_9MM:
Just go break her arm.



I wish .. unfortunately that is illegal ....
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:31:00 PM EDT
Kids get hurt while playing. Think of some of the things you did when you were a kid.

If you sue, your son will be able to detect the renewed tension and he just may feel responsible.

I'd let it go.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:32:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
Kids get hurt while playing. Think of some of the things you did when you were a kid.

If you sue, your son will be able to detect the renewed tension and he just may feel responsible.

I'd let it go.



Renewed tension? Do you think if you find your wife cheating, she leaves and moves in with the guy, gets half your cash and you get all the debt has tension subsided?
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:33:13 PM EDT
I'm sure you're mad at your ex, but seriously...kids do stupid shit. That's their job.
Do you really believe that this couldn't have happened on your "watch"?

Just be glad it was only a broken arm and call it a day.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:33:48 PM EDT
As long as she is paying fro the med bills you shouldn't. I do not feel it is right to profit off of your sons mistake and loss. Especially if it is coimg from his mom.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:35:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Yankee1911:
I'm sure you're mad at your ex, but seriously...kids do stupid shit. That's their job.
Do you really believe that this couldn't have happened on your "watch"?

Just be glad it was only a broken arm and call it a day.



ditto... let it go.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:35:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:

Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
Kids get hurt while playing. Think of some of the things you did when you were a kid.

If you sue, your son will be able to detect the renewed tension and he just may feel responsible.

I'd let it go.



Renewed tension? Do you think if you find your wife cheating, she leaves and moves in with the guy, gets half your cash and you get all the debt has tension subsided?




No. But, do you want your son to think that he is the cause of it?
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:36:44 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:36:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
Kids get hurt while playing. Think of some of the things you did when you were a kid.

If you sue, your son will be able to detect the renewed tension and he just may feel responsible.

I'd let it go.



+1 I'd be pissed and make sure she knew you blamed her and definitely document it so that if it ever happens again (God forbid) you can yank her rights. Our society is way to sue happy. It won't be worth it. He'll be fine. Kids grow back better than ever.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:37:38 PM EDT
Thanks for the quick replies ... I suppose once my temper subsides I'll see all your points ....
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:37:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By codycoyote:

Originally Posted By FOX-:
As long as she is paying fro the med bills you shouldn't. I do not feel it is right to profit off of your sons mistake and loss. Especially if it is coimg from his mom.



Colt stated he holds the insurance on the child.

I wouldn't sue her, but you can sures the hell have her visitation taken away, or at least have it supervised.


+1 thats a good idea.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:39:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/16/2005 8:40:49 PM EDT by putneyswope]
She is unfit. What if he'd been hurt worse or someone had kidnapped him? Go infront of the judge and get her visitation revoked. Easy way to do this is to get social services involved if you don't want to pay another lawyer. Then sue the boyfriend "homeowner" and his insurance company will settle if you get a half decent lawyer.

Editted because I can't spell...
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:39:29 PM EDT
I found that the less BS me and my wife had, the happier my two kids were and now the boys are grown and they are about as well adjusted as could be being from a broken home. I am afraid how it may have turned out if we were assholes to each other.

Be cool about for the kids sake, they didn't ask for any of this so dont make it worse on them.

Good luck man,
Jim
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:41:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:

Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
Kids get hurt while playing. Think of some of the things you did when you were a kid.

If you sue, your son will be able to detect the renewed tension and he just may feel responsible.

I'd let it go.



Renewed tension? Do you think if you find your wife cheating, she leaves and moves in with the guy, gets half your cash and you get all the debt has tension subsided?



You got custody of the child, right? That said how did she get half your money? Yeah probably let it go, just depends on how bad you have it in for her still. Would she do it to you? Will it screw up your relationship with your kid or is he none to fond of his mother? You could press that she was negligent and have her custody removed I think that is more rational, consider your kid though.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:42:23 PM EDT
Only thing I'd do is go after his homeowners insurance. I know you have ins, but if you'd go after his homeowners, you might not have any jump in your own insurance rates. Have them pay for physical therapy to get the arm back working again, all medical bills, ect.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:44:42 PM EDT
I'll say again, Americans are way too sue happy.
okay I'm done
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:45:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/16/2005 8:47:36 PM EDT by logem]

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:
Should I go a sue her and her boyfriend that owns the house?



No.!! My five year old daughter, whom we keep a very close eye upon, fell two nights ago into a sharp corner of a floor standing lamp base We spent most of the evening at the hospital emergency room. She ended up with 3 stitches. Little kids mess up and are clumsy. Do not fault others. If this happenened and I was no longer with my wife, I wouldn't blame her or her associates. Kids get hurt, and then they learn not to get hurt.

Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:46:25 PM EDT
Though I will say that cheating bizzo would deserve it. I'm sorry but nothing pisses me off more than a cheating spouse. I would be able to forgive my wife for it but I wouldn't be able to stay married to her.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:47:13 PM EDT
Custody has nothing to do with a divorce settlement ... in Georgia the judges frown on listening to divorce cases so the law is debt and assets are split 50/50. I owned my house before the marriage but she was entitled to half of the amount of appreciation while we were married which turned out to be a large amount ... plus she got half of my 401K plus my bonuses. We also had rung up some debt so instead of me having to sell my house to pay her off I agreed to take all the debt to offset what I owed her although she still got $20,000 in cash plus a 3 year old car. I kept my house but got stuck with all the debt and a leased vehicle. But I did get my son so I was happy. She has never paid child support because I took the first few years out of the settlement as well. She is currently over 12 months behind in child support. And now this .... yes I am annoyed.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:48:18 PM EDT
There is no winning in court, there are only degrees of losing. Don't look for revenge there.

Every boy breaks a couple bones and gets stitches a few times. Let it go.

Take an anger management class
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:48:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/16/2005 8:49:18 PM EDT by WildBoar]

Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
Kids get hurt while playing. Think of some of the things you did when you were a kid.

If you sue, your son will be able to detect the renewed tension and he just may feel responsible.

I'd let it go.



+10,000


Suing her will end up hurting your son in the long run. All the arguments , fights,a nd heated emotions will not go by unnoticed and kids have a way of takling things too hard. Dont even open the chance for your child to even contemplate taking all the blame for the trouble it will cause.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:49:34 PM EDT
HE is a kid

Kids do not so smart thing once in a while

Kids do break bones eveey now and then

Your wife cheating on you has nothing to do with your son breaking his arm

Deal with it
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:50:23 PM EDT
Ill give that a +1 What ever issues you have with your ex, leave it with and just be a good dad.


Originally Posted By dpmmn:
HE is a kid

Kids do not so smart thing once in a while

Kids do break bones eveey now and then

Your wife cheating on you has nothing to do with your son breaking his arm

Deal with it

Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:51:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FOX-:
No



wow I actually agree with fox. Is the world ending?
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 8:53:25 PM EDT
Thanks folks ... it doesn't take much to tick me off nowadays - expecially if it involves the ex .....

Here's my boy sleeping after a really rough night in the E.R.

Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:02:51 PM EDT
Cute little fellow, keep his arm elevated
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:06:23 PM EDT
Sorry your boy broke his arm, that is something kids do but thats not what this is about. Let it go, move on.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:07:38 PM EDT
No. Because it just may avoid opening a can of worms if something happens to him on your watch...
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:09:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By lokt:
No. Because it just may avoid opening a can of worms if something happens to him on your watch...



Thanks ... that is something I did not think about ....
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:16:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/16/2005 9:18:20 PM EDT by HarrySacz]
I have to agree with the kid playing thing, leave it alone it will not help the situation you are in. Your EX could come up with some BS to take you to court with. it is never pretty when two people with kids split up, i know it sucks but just keeps things simple for your child. Shit happens,as much as i would like to say she should have been watching them better, i know how easy it is for a child to get into trouble right quick.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:17:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By lokt:
No. Because it just may avoid opening a can of worms if something happens to him on your watch...



Possibly...but the child was playing outside unsupervised...my 4 year old never...ever goes outside without a parent (my kids play out front usually)...Seems to me the mom was being negligent...I think that's different from if something happened and you were right there but you couldn't stop it in time..
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:20:09 PM EDT
How old is the half sister? Accidents happen. There are a lot of variables that would determine whether I took any action - but I wouldn't sue.

Hope your son is feeling better. He is a cutie!
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:20:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By VoodooChile:

Originally Posted By lokt:
No. Because it just may avoid opening a can of worms if something happens to him on your watch...



Possibly...but the child was playing outside unsupervised...my 4 year old never...ever goes outside without a parent (my kids play out front usually)...Seems to me the mom was being negligent...I think that's different from if something happened and you were right there but you couldn't stop it in time..




In this day and age anyone that lets a child go outside the house alone is begging for a kidnapping. I dont like my son to be out of my sight.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:21:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/16/2005 9:23:19 PM EDT by MMcCall]
First off, I'm sorry your boy got hurt, I hope he springs right back.

That being said.. I ran off with my friends or my sister (OMG Unsupervised!) when I was that age, did stupid shit, and sometimes got hurt. Hell, it was the *only* thing I was good at when I was that age.

Best thing you can do is just be there for him.


Originally Posted By HarrySacz:
In this day and age anyone that lets a child go outside the house alone is begging for a kidnapping. I dont like my son to be out of my sight.



I'm sorry, I don't agree with that.. I don't think kidnappings are statistically any higher than they were 20 years ago when I was a kid, they're just more widely publicized. You simply CAN'T watch a kid 24/7, educating them to be aware and how to react is the only remedy, same as it was then.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:22:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:
Thanks for the quick replies ... I suppose once my temper subsides I'll see all your points ....



I wouldn't sue for damages. But I may look into the custody issue.

She isn't financially responsible for the damages but I do think her irresponsibility may have led to it.

Perhaps her visitations needs to be supervised?

Bring it up with the judge or whoever and let the judge decide.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:22:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Ogre_4070:
How old is the half sister? Accidents happen. There are a lot of variables that would determine whether I took any action - but I wouldn't sue.

Hope your son is feeling better. He is a cutie!



She is 8 ...
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:23:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:

Originally Posted By lokt:
No. Because it just may avoid opening a can of worms if something happens to him on your watch...



Thanks ... that is something I did not think about ....



This is a good point. That sword can cut both ways.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:27:56 PM EDT
I hope your son is doing okay. I would hope you do not sue - it could make so many thing worse. But for your sake and your sons sake, keep an eye on things in the future. I am a step dad. My wifes ex is current Air Force. I have nothing but the highest regard for our military - but he is not the best of the best. We have had problems in the past while they where in his care. Now we keep a very good paper trail etc...The last thing we want is for them to think we tried to turn them against him - as he has tried to do to us. What we have learned is that as they get older, they see who he is all by themselves. Its not any less painful for us or them - but it does open "avenues" for conversation when they ask or make certian comments. Hope that helps.

Hang in there, and good luck -

Tint
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:28:10 PM EDT
get her visitation amended, either less visitation for her or preferably where she has to have supervised visitation. I woudl also hit up his Insurace for the bills. It is irresponsible to allow children of that age to play unsupervised with tools improperly secured, especially ladders
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:29:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:

Originally Posted By lokt:
No. Because it just may avoid opening a can of worms if something happens to him on your watch...



Thanks ... that is something I did not think about ....



This is a good point. That sword can cut both ways.



That probably depends on why she doesn't have custody now...
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:31:24 PM EDT

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:

Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
Kids get hurt while playing. Think of some of the things you did when you were a kid.

If you sue, your son will be able to detect the renewed tension and he just may feel responsible.

I'd let it go.



Renewed tension? Do you think if you find your wife cheating, she leaves and moves in with the guy, gets half your cash and you get all the debt has tension subsided?



You want to use your childs injury to get revenge on your cheating whore ex wife? I see children being used as weapons every day. It still amazes me that people can be so selfish, so consumed with anger and the desire for revenge that they can't see the damage that they are doing to their children.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:32:26 PM EDT
Personally yes i would sue. Thats negligence on her part. Had she been doing her job as a parent this likely would not have happend. I could understand not suing if the kid was like a little older like 10 and higher but a 5 year old playing unsupervised?
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:34:56 PM EDT
Changing visitation rights in court take $$$ .... which I currently don't have ...

I have good insurance .. the entire thing cost me $50 ... plus follow-up visits at $25 a piece since he is going to an orthopedic specialist. Not sure how many visits yet.

Shouldn't there be some sort of accident report at least be submitted to the homeowners insurance to cover myself in case of possible future complications due to the accident. I wouldn't want the insurance company to have a possible out if needed in the future.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:44:38 PM EDT
Wether you were still married, or you had custody or she had custody, these things happen.

We understand you were hurt, but don't use this as a catalyst to seek your revenge.

Hug your boy and appreciate that it wasn't worce.

And I will pray COLT6721A3 that you find some medicine in this.


GM
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:45:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/16/2005 9:47:01 PM EDT by FLGreg]

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:
Changing visitation rights in court take $$$ .... which I currently don't have ...

I have good insurance .. the entire thing cost me $50 ... plus follow-up visits at $25 a piece since he is going to an orthopedic specialist. Not sure how many visits yet.

Shouldn't there be some sort of accident report at least be submitted to the homeowners insurance to cover myself in case of possible future complications due to the accident. I wouldn't want the insurance company to have a possible out if needed in the future.



Oh, grow the fuck up you litigious bastards ...... the kid is 5 and broke his arm ... Big friggin deal .... the dad ought to be proud that his little 5 y/o son can carry a ladder around the yard, put it up against a tree, shimmy up a tree with a rope clenched in his teeth to attempt to make a rope swing .............

Wait a minute ... does any of this sound like B.S.? Dude, how old is his 1/2 sister?

Doesn't your ex-wife's boyfriend have homeowner's insurance that would pay for this <not YOUR medical insurance>???

Tag..... to hear the rest of the real story when everyone is sober......
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:45:51 PM EDT

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:
Changing visitation rights in court take $$$ .... which I currently don't have ...

I have good insurance .. the entire thing cost me $50 ... plus follow-up visits at $25 a piece since he is going to an orthopedic specialist. Not sure how many visits yet.

Shouldn't there be some sort of accident report at least be submitted to the homeowners insurance to cover myself in case of possible future complications due to the accident. I wouldn't want the insurance company to have a possible out if needed in the future.



Did the accident happen at your house? My oldest son cut his hand out side of our home on a piece of glass when he was 12 - it required 4 hours of microsurgery to repair the tendons and nerves so his thumb, index and middle finger would work and have *feeling*. On week later they left for two weeks with thier dad. He did not do ONE follow up with the Docs and no therapy etc....(they were in WA, we are in TX) Bottom line it cost us and our son and extra 6 months in rehab just so he could use that hand again. In our case since the accident did not happen in the home it was not covered under the Ins.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:48:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/16/2005 9:49:20 PM EDT by COLT6721A3]

Originally Posted By tintedtahoe:

Originally Posted By COLT6721A3:
Changing visitation rights in court take $$$ .... which I currently don't have ...

I have good insurance .. the entire thing cost me $50 ... plus follow-up visits at $25 a piece since he is going to an orthopedic specialist. Not sure how many visits yet.

Shouldn't there be some sort of accident report at least be submitted to the homeowners insurance to cover myself in case of possible future complications due to the accident. I wouldn't want the insurance company to have a possible out if needed in the future.



Did the accident happen at your house? My oldest son cut his hand out side of our home on a piece of glass when he was 12 - it required 4 hours of microsurgery to repair the tendons and nerves so his thumb, index and middle finger would work and have *feeling*. On week later they left for two weeks with thier dad. He did not do ONE follow up with the Docs and no therapy etc....(they were in WA, we are in TX) Bottom line it cost us and our son and extra 6 months in rehab just so he could use that hand again. In our case since the accident did not happen in the home it was not covered under the Ins.




The accident happened at my ex-wife's boyfriends house ... not my house. He was visiting with her .... I have physical custody.
Link Posted: 9/16/2005 9:51:50 PM EDT
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