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Posted: 8/17/2005 3:34:11 PM EDT
First day of school yesterday for my 1st grade son; he comes home with a 12 page "Student Discipline" policy booklet.

Weapons violations linsted in the booklet include bringing the following to school:

a firearm
a blackjack
a concealable firearm
an explosive weapon
a firearm silencer (damn, that would be great for show & tell)
a gas gun
a knife
knuckles
a machine gun
a projectile weapon
a rifle
a shot gun
a switchblade knife

This is a school with only K-5 graders.

This "booklet" also states that a "weapon" may include normal school supplies, household items, tools or other materials that could inflict physical injury or harm to another person.

WTF

RANT OFF.

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:36:36 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:37:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 3:37:54 PM EDT by B-O-A-T-S]
So they can't bring pencils and pens to school? What about a spiral bound notebook. Unwind the metal and dip it in bleach - it'll give someone a bad day!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:39:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 3:41:25 PM EDT by danco]
Personally, I think they should wait until they're in 2nd Grade before kids start arming themselves...

I like they way they list both "a firearm" and "a concealable firearm" and both "a knife" and "a switchblade knife."

Don't forget to dismember your kid, since he has to leave his knuckles at home.

What the heck is a blackjack? I always thought it was licorice-flavored chewing gum...

Stoopid Skool...

—Dan
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:44:18 PM EDT
What the shit is this world coming to when kids can't bring that stuff to school??? Paper clips should be on the list, though. They're used for organizing terrorist manifests.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:45:08 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:45:20 PM EDT
No mention of...

Crossbows
Sap gloves
Throwing stars
Hatchets or axes
Piano wire or guitar strings (makes an excellent garrote)
Spears
Flamethrowers
Cudgel­s



Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:46:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By KC_MO_shooter:
Weapons violations linsted in the booklet include bringing the following to school:

a firearm
a blackjack
a concealable firearm
an explosive weapon
a firearm silencer (damn, that would be great for show & tell)
a gas gun
a knife
knuckles
a machine gun
a projectile weapon
a rifle
a shot gun

a switchblade knife



Well, they've certainly shown him the meaning of "redundant".
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:46:58 PM EDT
my spork + 1 of troll slaying got confinscated at lunch.....
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:47:05 PM EDT
look on the bright side.

your kid can still take a sword.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:48:41 PM EDT
Then in all likelyhood if the kid even draws an image of a firearm he will face disciplinary action.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:49:41 PM EDT
I thought liberal educators considered the male "pee-pee" a dangerous weapon, yet it is suspiciously missing from that list. Hmmmmm....

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:50:58 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 3:52:23 PM EDT by Rem700PSS]

Originally Posted By Zaphod:

Originally Posted By KC_MO_shooter:
Weapons violations linsted in the booklet include bringing the following to school:

a firearm
a blackjack
a concealable firearm
an explosive weapon
a firearm silencer (damn, that would be great for show & tell)
a gas gun
a knife
knuckles
a machine gun
a projectile weapon
a rifle
a shot gun

a switchblade knife



Well, they've certainly shown him the meaning of "redundant".



Lol.

Student "Teacher, can we bring a firearm to school?"
Teacher "NO!"
S "How about a gun?"
T "NO!"
S" "What about a handgun?"
T "NO!"
S "Machine gun?"
T "NO!"
S "Rifle?"
T "NO!"
S "Well then how about a shotgun?"
T "NO!"

I can see it happening.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:51:44 PM EDT
Have you considered homeschooling?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:52:35 PM EDT
Two words for you ....................

<­BR>





­

expandable baton
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:54:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AmericanPatriot1776:
Two words for you ....................
expandable baton



excellent call.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:55:27 PM EDT
Can he afford one?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:55:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AmericanPatriot1776:
Two words for you ....................


expandable baton



Ahh - Show & tell dilemma sovled.

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:56:21 PM EDT
ASP

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:56:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Rem700PSS:

Student "Teacher, can we bring a firearm to school?"
Teacher "NO!"
S "How about a gun?"
T "NO!"
S" "What about a handgun?"
T "NO!"
S "Machine gun?"
T "NO!"
S "Rifle?"
T "NO!"
S "Well then how about a shotgun?"
T "NO!"

I can see it happening.



"Assault weapon?"
"NO!"
"Imitation assault weapon?"
"NO"
"Carbine?"
"NO!"
"Musket?"
"NO!"
"Flintlock?"
"NO!"
"Phased Plasma Rifle with a 40-watt range?"
"NO!"

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 3:57:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By captainpooby:
Can he afford one?



I can't answer that - it is also a violation of School Policy - everyone is equal.

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:27:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/22/2005 8:14:19 PM EDT by AMHsix]
.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:33:29 PM EDT
You can't bring a compass with a sharp point on it to my high-school.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:35:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:36:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 4:37:13 PM EDT by Gravity_Tester]

Originally Posted By AMHsix:
6 cell Mag-light...

TONK!





AGNTSA....

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:39:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 4:39:24 PM EDT by TravisJ1]
I am laughing so hard my eyes are wartering!!!
Damn thats funny!!


Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:40:38 PM EDT
Doesn't say anything about belt fed.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:42:22 PM EDT
OOOO, Boxcutters are still OK. Guess the airport did not alert them yet. I guess a length a chain is OK too. Yippee!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:42:29 PM EDT
I don't see this listed



www.leenks.com/link21172.htm
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:44:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By KC_MO_shooter:


This "booklet" also states that a "weapon" may include normal school supplies, household items, tools or other materials that could inflict physical injury or harm to another person.

WTF

RANT OFF.




I guess that means no pens, pencils, rulers, scissors, paper clips, staplers, duct tape, super glue, etc. etc. etc.

Nothing but a load of bullshit.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:46:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AMHsix:
6 cell Mag-light...

TONK!





Oh damn you've done it now....

Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:50:15 PM EDT
This seems like yet another good reason to get a FLAMETHROWER... it's for the children.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:50:50 PM EDT
When I was in elementary school, I remember my rule book had a whole page of stuff listed. I had to ask my dad what some of them were. It mentioned cane guns and cane swords, which I thought were particularly cool at the time.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:53:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AMHsix:
6 cell Mag-light...

TONK!





That is only for Arizona Schools.


Link Posted: 8/17/2005 4:53:22 PM EDT
Have you ever read the directions on the packaging of a toothpick?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 5:13:17 PM EDT
well this wasn't on the list.....



just have your kid say that he's studying "astrophysics"
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:35:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DefMan:
I don't see this listed

sasisa.ru/news/data/upimages/posts/_News_Photo_image_large_4487.jpg

www.leenks.com/link21172.htm



YEA-YEAH!!!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:48:37 PM EDT
Well really since they spelled out the few items - I guess that leaves the door open for lots. Seriously, no machine guns? Does that include sub machine guns? How about mini guns? or plain ARs?

Patty
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:54:03 PM EDT
What about AOWs like pens, or one of these:



Link Posted: 8/17/2005 7:59:37 PM EDT
how bout a morning star ?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:21:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AMHsix:
6 cell Mag-light...

TONK!





Sad to see we are about to lose another member from California, nice knowing ya.


Let him take a smoothbore cannon to school.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:25:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AMHsix:
6 cell Mag-light...

TONK!





IBTL&B (Lock & Banning)
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:30:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AMHsix:
6 cell Mag-light...

TONK!




Pop corn; check.
Beer; a few, check.

IBTL; check.
Let the smack down begin.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 8:34:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By otar:

Originally Posted By AMHsix:
6 cell Mag-light...

TONK!




Pop corn; check.
Beer; a few, check.

IBTL; check.
Let the smack down begin.



Tagged for outcome
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:00:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sp1shooter:
Doesn't say anything about belt fed.



No machine guns! Can't you read? You're suspended!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:20:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 9:20:24 PM EDT by JavaMan]

Originally Posted By samsong:

Originally Posted By sp1shooter:
Doesn't say anything about belt fed.



No machine guns! Can't you read? You're suspended!



Yeah, but they probably mean transferables. What if I bring in a post-sample?
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:25:23 PM EDT
Doesn't say anything about a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:32:13 PM EDT
Bio-weapons
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:44:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 9:45:13 PM EDT by rtech]
Looks like you're safe with the ASP, sword, and Taser. That laser aimed pencil gun looks good as well.

Lot's of things for show and tell. I didn't see chemical sprays either.

You are still good to go.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:34:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 10:35:21 PM EDT by FortyFiveAutomatic]
My old school district was the exact same way, had been for years.


This isn't new, I imagine the school just has to cover their bases. Y'all have to remember that we live in the age where even wee little elementary school kids take out their classmates. Probably the school is excerpting a state penal code (as was the case in my own school district). One day some kid will come to school with a zip gun and blow himself or some other child away and maybe, just maybe, the school will need to rely on that redundancy to minimize its own liability in the affair.

Just my 2¢
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:43:12 PM EDT
Tactical nukes.
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