1.) I enjoy a nice pair of slacks.



2.) My testicles do not enjoy a nice pair of slacks.



3.) While riding in a car packed with the wife, kids, and inlaws... do not scream profanities at hippies that are swerving all over the road. While leaving church, at that.



4.) When working out by myself, I should never attempt to go to failure. Especially in a gym full of other Marines. Almost passing out from bouncing 285lbs off my chest doesn't make me look too kew.



5.) While cooking eggs, take the goddamn eggs out of the shell PRIOR to putting them in the frying pan.



6.) Do not, in a haze of drunken stupor, talk to the sheltered in-laws about past experiences, especially in the Marine Corps. Fragile worlds will shatter.



7.) ?????



8.) Profit, always.

I once told my father in law about a hooker I had in Nuremberg on an Easter Sunday.



It hasn't been the same between us since.

It's teh jealousy.







 

Between you and the FIL, or the hooker?





 

Some people just can't handle the truth