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Posted: 10/20/2004 5:58:20 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/21/2004 5:24:11 AM EST by BeetleBailey]
My brother is a good guy, a little rough around the edges like all of us, but a straight-up guy nonetheless. His wife caught him looking at porn the other day, and being the ultra-conservative (nothing wrong with that) that she is needless to say she is VERY pissed and hasn't been talking to him. He's bummed out about it and I'm not sure what to tell him how to handle this. Any ideas?
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 5:58:53 AM EST
Tell him to tell her to get over herself and STFU.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:00:10 AM EST
Yeah, have him tell her that he is a man and that men get horny ALOT!


So instead of bugging her all the time he looks at porn.


So unless she is willing to take care of ALL his sexual needs she should back off!


SGatr15
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:02:16 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:02:43 AM EST
If she's doing her job properly, he would have no desire to be looking at porn. Tell her to get over her inhibitions and try some anal with him. That should help.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:03:54 AM EST
My wife looks at more porn than I do
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:03:58 AM EST
have him tell her to go back to reading “Sara’s savage secret” and STFU!
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:04:06 AM EST
tell her to STFU and lay him a little more and maybe that wouldnt happen
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:04:49 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:04:51 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:04:56 AM EST

Originally Posted By 1Walker:
My wife looks at more porn than I do




You must be damn ugly
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:05:11 AM EST
I'd ask her, "Honestly - what the fuck do you think computers are for? The sharing of information is what for! That's right cave woman!"
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:05:49 AM EST
The guys are right, generally... but she nees to hear this from a family therapist.

Get the two of them in, hell even offer to pay the first $100 or something.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:06:22 AM EST

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
...
He's bummed out about it and I'm not sure what to tell him how to handle this. Any ideas?



Let him paddle his own canoe. It's his problem that he created. You are not obligated to help him fix it.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:06:55 AM EST
People tell me I look like Brett Favre, but bigger. He is kinda funny looking.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:07:14 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 6:08:07 AM EST by t-stox]
I hate to say it but, Thats what you get for marrying a conservative woman!! HAHAHA! What did you think she'd be "understanding"? Thats why it's more important for me to date a "liberal woman" with an open mind. If she's against guns i'll just have to "convert" her with my "Religion" starting with a .22 short pump. Then a short 6" pump
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:08:09 AM EST

Originally Posted By GonzoAR15-1:
The guys are right, generally... but she nees to hear this from a family therapist.

Get the two of them in, hell even offer to pay the first $100 or something.



but don't go to a Christian one!
they will say porn and masturbation are sinful, selfish and unhealthy.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:10:02 AM EST
It's cheating.

I hope I never do that to my wife.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:11:09 AM EST

Originally Posted By BeetleBailey:
My brother is a good guy, a little rough around the edges like all of us, but a straight-up guy nonetheless. His wife caught him looking at porn the other day, and being the ultra-conservative (nothing wrong with that) that she is needless to say she is VERY pissed and hasn't been talking to him. He's bummed out about it and I'm not sure what to tell him how to handle this. Any ideas?



Tell him God said to quit looking at porn. then ask his wife for forgiveness.

Case closed.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:11:49 AM EST

Originally Posted By hk940:

Originally Posted By GonzoAR15-1:
The guys are right, generally... but she nees to hear this from a family therapist.

Get the two of them in, hell even offer to pay the first $100 or something.



but don't go to a Christian one!
they will say porn and masturbation are sinful, selfish and unhealthy.



Imagine that.

<---whistling, biting tongue....
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:14:09 AM EST

Originally Posted By hk940:
have him tell her to go back to reading “Sara’s savage secret” and STFU!



+1

Warning, divorce impending....
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:14:37 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 6:15:05 AM EST by Cereal-Killer]
Wish your brother the best of luck, and stay the fuck out of that one. If it was your porn, you'd best stay away from there for a while.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:15:42 AM EST

Originally Posted By GonzoAR15-1:
The guys are right, generally... but she nees to hear this from a family therapist.

Get the two of them in, hell even offer to pay the first $100 or something.




Family therapist?

WTF????


SGtar15
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:17:04 AM EST

Originally Posted By QuietShootr:
Tell him to tell her to get over herself and STFU.

+1

or tell him to ask her to join him
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:17:13 AM EST

Originally Posted By t-stox:
I hate to say it but, Thats what you get for marrying a conservative woman!! HAHAHA! What did you think she'd be "understanding"? Thats why it's more important for me to date a "liberal woman" with an open mind. If she's against guns i'll just have to "convert" her with my "Religion" starting with a .22 short pump. Then a short 6" pump




This is by far the stupidist thing I have ever read on this board.


Really...I mean that.

SGtar15
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:19:52 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 6:22:01 AM EST by BeetleBailey]

Originally Posted By hk940:

Originally Posted By GonzoAR15-1:
The guys are right, generally... but she nees to hear this from a family therapist.

Get the two of them in, hell even offer to pay the first $100 or something.



but don't go to a Christian one!
they will say porn and masturbation are sinful, selfish and unhealthy.



I think the point of that is the following though:
1. The bible (New Testament) speaks that there should only be one man for one woman (monogomy)
2. The verse along the lines of "What a man thinks/feels in his heart, so is he". In other words if your imagining commiting adultery with some porn chick then it is as if you are actually doing it in God's eyes
3. That being said - "Thou Shall not committ adultery" - one of the big ten
4. and the fact that his wife will be uber self-conscious and thinking that she isn't good enough

That all kind of goes a long way if you are spiritually strong (as she is)
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:22:50 AM EST


A healthy relationship sounds like this:

Man: Hey, ya wanna get it on?

Woman: Not right now, I'm really tired. In the morning, ok?

Man: Sure, but I'm gonna have to go tear one off right now, too.

Woman : That's cool.

Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:24:17 AM EST
Wow. I was quite surprised by the responses in this thread. I guess that pornography is considered by far too many to be normal and harmless.

WAKE UP: IT HAS HARMED THE RELATIONSHIP IN QUESTION. It is NOT harmless.

He needs to ask himself if the relationship is worth it or if he would rather follow the woman on the screen.

Does he love his wife more than porn? What is that relationship worth to him?

I give you here a few quotes to ponder. A pretty smart guy recetly gave a talk on this very topic.

"Pornography is not some titillating feast for the eyes that gives a momentary rush of excitement. [Rather] it has the effect of damaging hearts and souls to their very depths, strangling the life out of relationships that should be sacred, hurting to the very core those you should love the most."

"I recently read that pornography has become a $57 billion industry worldwide. Twelve billion of this is derived in the United States by evil and "conspiring men" who seek riches at the expense of the gullible. It is reported that it produces more revenue in the United States than the "combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises or the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC" ("Internet Pornography Statistics: 2003," Internet, http://www.healthymind.com/5-port-stats.html).

It robs the workplace of the time and talents of employees. "20% of men admit accessing pornography at work. 13% of women [do so]. . . . 10% of adults admit having internet sexual addiction" ("Internet Pornography Statistics: 2003"). That is their admission, but actually the number may be much higher.

The National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families states that "approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet. . . .

"One in five children ages 10–17 [has] received a sexual solicitation over the Internet. . . .

"Three million of the visitors to adult websites in September 2000 were age 17 or younger. . . .

"Sex is the number 1 topic searched on the Internet" (NCPCE Online, "Current Statistics," Internet, http://www.nationalcoalition.org/stat.html).

I might go on, but you, too, know enough of the seriousness of the problem. Suffice it to say that all who are involved become victims. Children are exploited, and their lives are severely damaged. The minds of youth become warped with false concepts. Continued exposure leads to addiction that is almost impossible to break. Men, so very many, find they cannot leave it alone. Their energies and their interests are consumed in their dead-end pursuit of this raw and sleazy fare.

The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape.

Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you.

Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with sleazy material, you do not have to watch it."

"I know that I am speaking directly and plainly. I do so because the Internet has made pornography more widely accessible, adding to what is available on DVDs and videos, on television and magazine stands. It leads to fantasies that are destructive of self-respect. It leads to illicit relationships, often to disease, and to abusive criminal activity. "

Believe it or not. It's true.



Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:25:14 AM EST

Originally Posted By California_Kid:

Let him paddle his own canoe.



He was, that's why he's in trouble.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:27:08 AM EST

He should have a one-sided conversation like the one listed below.

"Baby I've got five little words on you.....sneak attack on the butt.:
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:28:00 AM EST
Tell her to get to the gym.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:28:31 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By t-stox:
I hate to say it but, Thats what you get for marrying a conservative woman!! HAHAHA! What did you think she'd be "understanding"? Thats why it's more important for me to date a "liberal woman" with an open mind. If she's against guns i'll just have to "convert" her with my "Religion" starting with a .22 short pump. Then a short 6" pump




This is by far the stupidist thing I have ever read on this board.


Really...I mean that.

SGtar15


no kidding.

and some of the 'soap box' preachers here are just as bad. if you manage to turn off a conservative christian like me, imagine what you are doing to non-believers? it's exactly the reason ppl. get so fed up with religion.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:28:52 AM EST

Originally Posted By bvmjethead:
It's cheating.

I hope I never do that to my wife.



a huge +1
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:36:29 AM EST

Originally Posted By Leisure_Shoot:
Tell her to get to the gym.


Really,

I don’t know how men can get excited about having sex with something that looked like it crawled out from under a rotten log.


Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:42:06 AM EST

Originally Posted By -Absolut-:

Originally Posted By sgtar15:

Originally Posted By t-stox:
I hate to say it but, Thats what you get for marrying a conservative woman!! HAHAHA! What did you think she'd be "understanding"? Thats why it's more important for me to date a "liberal woman" with an open mind. If she's against guns i'll just have to "convert" her with my "Religion" starting with a .22 short pump. Then a short 6" pump




This is by far the stupidist thing I have ever read on this board.


Really...I mean that.

SGtar15


no kidding.

and some of the 'soap box' preachers here are just as bad. if you manage to turn off a conservative christian like me, imagine what you are doing to non-believers? it's exactly the reason ppl. get so fed up with religion.



Not sure who you're referring to specifically, but if it's me, just let me say that I won't post anything of a religious nature that I don't 100% believe to be true. Extending that logic, if I 'turn you off', let's hope I'm mistaken about my beliefs, right?

of course, if I'm right........
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:45:22 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 6:45:47 AM EST by lawsec]
Some people get turned off of religion because they get tired of being told that what they are doing is a little thing called sin. It's often easier to turn away from the messenger than to correct the underlying problem.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:24:09 AM EST
My Wife has no issue with my viewing porn. It's my life, not hers. Actually, she seems relieved when I call her over to the computer and say "Hey, look at this" and it turns out to be porn and NOT the latest firearm I want to buy!
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:26:34 AM EST
My wife buys videos ocassionally.
heh, heh...
Hardly ever watch them, though...
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:28:06 AM EST

Originally Posted By bvmjethead:
It's cheating.

I hope I never do that to my wife.



Looking at porn is cheating?
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:30:55 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 7:32:00 AM EST by M4]

Originally Posted By lawsec:
Some people get turned off of religion because they get tired of being told that what they are doing is a little thing called sin. It's often easier to turn away from the messenger than to correct the underlying problem.



When the "messenger" is a fucking ancient myth, yeah, you're right. Frankly, looking at people having sex, either by yourself, or with someone else is NOT a "sin" in my book, and that's the only book that counts.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:34:02 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 7:34:23 AM EST by lawsec]

Originally Posted By M4:

Originally Posted By lawsec:
Some people get turned off of religion because they get tired of being told that what they are doing is a little thing called sin. It's often easier to turn away from the messenger than to correct the underlying problem.



When the "messenger" is a fucking ancient myth, yeah, you're right. Frankly, looking at people having sex, either by yourself, or with someone else is NOT a "sin" in my book, and that's the only book that counts.



Some people won't see the truth until He is standing before them and they find that they must confess who He is.

The only problem is that at that point it will be too late...

Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:35:12 AM EST
So, if I look at porn WITH my wife, it's not cheating, or a sin?
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:36:29 AM EST

Originally Posted By lawsec:

Originally Posted By M4:

Originally Posted By lawsec:
Some people get turned off of religion because they get tired of being told that what they are doing is a little thing called sin. It's often easier to turn away from the messenger than to correct the underlying problem.



When the "messenger" is a fucking ancient myth, yeah, you're right. Frankly, looking at people having sex, either by yourself, or with someone else is NOT a "sin" in my book, and that's the only book that counts.



Some people won't see the truth until He is standing before them and they find that they must confess who He is.

The only problem is that at that point it will be too late...




Finally, the undeniable truth
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:42:36 AM EST

Originally Posted By bvmjethead:
It's cheating.

I hope I never do that to my wife.



Amen, and I say that having done it.

She caught me, and was justifiably pissed. My solution (aside from apologizing profusely) was to disconnect the internet from my house. Did without for over a year.

It worked. Our divorce had nothing to do with that.

Oddly enough, I still carry the guilt with me. I was adulterous, and I can only imagine how much that must have hurt her...
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:43:05 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 7:48:01 AM EST by ZEN]
Let me say what many are thinking.

She sounds like an uptight, prudish, ball busting, controlling bitch.

And if she knew her way around the bedroom, he might not have be suplementing his sex life with porn.

But in any event, the fact is, most healthy men look at porn and masturbate. Big deal.

It has nothing to do with her.

He would probably be doing it now and again regardless.

Men are like monkeys, they masturbate like they breath.

90% of men masturbate, ...... the other 10% lie about it.

That fact that he uses porn to do so, just shows that (unlike other primates) he has learned to use tools.

A mans sex drive is so vast that if he wasn't masturbating he might be porking his secretary. (because his wife certainly couldn't keep up with his needs) She should count her blessings.

Masturbation is a healthy outlet. (anyone who doesn't know that is living in the dark ages)


She needs to get a life and give it a rest.



Zen

"This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine"
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:44:45 AM EST
I'm glad my wife isn't such a prude.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:45:19 AM EST
+1


Originally Posted By einnor1040:
I'm glad my wife isn't such a prude.

Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:46:16 AM EST

Originally Posted By QuietShootr:
Tell him to tell her to get over herself and STFU.



damn right
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:49:33 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 7:52:46 AM EST by GabbasaurusRex]
She's pissed because a lot of women who catch their significant other looking at porn makes them feel like they're not hot enough, sexy enough, not doing their job properly, etc. She feels rejected.

But we all know that the average guy is not getting sex 24 hours a day, and when there's downtime, well, it just needs exercise.

I think your brother just needs to explain this to her. She won't be happy, but make sure that he explains that he's not looking at porn because he isn't satisfied. He's looking at porn so he can function normally.

ETA: Maybe I'm just not normal because some of the DVD's in my boyfriend's porn colleciton are ones that I've bought for him.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:51:57 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 7:53:42 AM EST by Zaphod]

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
She's pissed because a lot of women who catch their significant other looking at porn makes them feel like they're not hot enough, sexy enough, not doing their job properly, etc. She feels rejected.

But we all know that the average guy is not getting sex 24 hours a day, and when there's downtime, well, it just needs exercise.

I think your brother just needs to explain this to her. She won't be happy, but make sure that he explains that he's not looking at porn because he isn't satisfied. He's looking at porn so he can function normally.



I know that Gabb means well, but if your brother does this he will end up divorced.

Your brother needs to remember his wedding VOWS; how he foresook ALL others for HER.

If he's not willing to acknowledge he violated his VOW to her, then she's not likely to trust him much, and telling her that SHE'S got the problem is a recipe for disaster.

ETA: If I was willing to believe such things, I'd swear that the internet was invented by Satan rather than Al Gore.

Come to think of it, that's the same thing, eh?
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:52:27 AM EST
Was she REALLY more upset from the porn or because he was doing it behind her back
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