In the beginning of summer, I bought a kayak. A Perception Captiva. She is 16' long, a hearty vessel. And today, I encountered a rumored beast of the depths (or shallows in my case...)
In Kentucky today....Ah...but I digress...Kentucky.
Kentucky. The Bluegrass State. Horse country...
Kentucky. Land of the Genetically Homogenous...
Kentucky, whose license plates flaunt Unbridled, Perversive Faggotry...
Kentucky. Horses, and Grandiose Perversion.
We, here in Kentucky, are also blessed with areas which are quite demonstrative of its Perversive Underbelly.
Big Bone Lick State Park...
parks.ky.gov/stateparks/bb/And, its nearby town....Beaverlick...
maps.yahoo.com/maps_result?addr=&csz=beaverlick%2C+ky&country=us&new=1And while not quite living up to the perversive theme of Kentucky, there is also the curiously named community of Rabbit Hash.
maps.yahoo.com/maps_result?newFL=Use+Address+Below&addr=&csz=rabbit+hash%2C+ky&.intl=us&name=&lat=&lon=&srchtype=a&qty=&new=1&trf=0&getmap=Get+MapRabbit Hash?
Anyways, I put in at the Big Bone Lick Boat Launch. I paddled my way to the Mighty Ohio River on a utterly pristine day. Clear skies, temperatures in the low 80's.
T'was my first time navigating this area, recommended by a friend.
T'was at the Ohio River Inlet that the terror unfolded.
Upon approaching The Ohio, there were numerous markers directing the Fancy Folk in their powered craft (of deeper draft) where to navigate their way out.
Being of quite shallow draft in my Hearty Vessel, I elected to cut across the markers into shallow water to save time.
The water was quite shallow indeed. Nary a foot in depth.
My horror lie ahead.
So, as I paddled about with nary a concern in my mind, I had noticed a shadow laying off my starboard, which I thought to be a fallen log.
Nay.
The sonofabitch frothed about and breached twice. T'was here where I uttered....
"Uhhhh......Uhhh......AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKSHIT!!!!!!" in a most girly fashion.
Here I was in a foot, or less, of water and I realize in an instant of utter clarity that I have encountered one of the fabled Gargantuan Catfish of the Mighty Ohio.
I shit you not, this thing was huge. At a VERY CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATE it was over four feet long. Probably closer to five.
In the aftermath, I was briefly disgusted at my pathetic response, then continued on a nice tranquil exploration of the Mighty Ohio.
That is all of my harrowing tale.
Thank you for your time. All comments and inquiry welcomed and encouraged.