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Posted: 8/29/2005 6:02:04 PM EDT
Just saw Curse of the Maya (2004). Without a doubt, the crappiest horror film I have seen in years. Even the nudie scenes sucked.

Although, even a crappy nudie scene is better than none.

I give it 4 thumbs down.
Link Posted: 8/29/2005 6:54:50 PM EDT
Yentle

It will scar you for life!
Link Posted: 8/29/2005 7:04:24 PM EDT
THE THIN RED LINE

NEVER waste your time.

TXL
Link Posted: 8/29/2005 7:16:20 PM EDT
XXX State of the Union.

I am surprised that Samuel L. Jackson's agent let it get released.

I just loved the part with the guy pulling the trigger on his gun with his middle finger, whilst his trigger finger pointed skyward.
Link Posted: 8/29/2005 8:05:54 PM EDT
Kung Pow: Enter the fist, I hate this movie with every ounce of my being.
Link Posted: 8/29/2005 9:13:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TxLewis:
THE THIN RED LINE

NEVER waste your time.

TXL

BIG +1! One of the absolute stupidest movies I have ever seen. I am SO glad I didn't pay to see it.
Link Posted: 8/29/2005 9:19:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Einherjer:
Kung Pow: Enter the fist, I hate this movie with every ounce of my being.



Dayum, that's a hilarious movie.

You didn't by any chance watch it thinking it was a real kung-fu movie, did you?
Link Posted: 8/30/2005 12:06:05 AM EDT
Torque. Bikersboys seems like an oscar winner compared to it.
Link Posted: 8/30/2005 1:27:13 AM EDT
Crazy/Beautiful

There is NO pie in the world that is worth sitting through that movie. If you girlfriend says lets watch Crazy/Beautiful you have 3 options:

1. Kick her out of your house

2. Quicky drink coupious amounts of vodka, gin, bourbon.... anything that is at least 80 proof to pass out.

3. Insert knife into eyeballs
Link Posted: 8/30/2005 10:03:47 AM EDT
Butterfly Effect
That movie is messed up, sick, and demented. I am less sane for having watched it.
Link Posted: 8/30/2005 12:40:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2005 12:44:20 PM EDT by Kihn]

That movie is messed up, sick, and demented. I am less sane for having watched it.


Thought you were talking about the one I saw last night- Life of David Gale. What a silly stupid piece of liberal crap (much like your reverse abortion rights pick). What a total waste of a couple of hours. Staring at the wall would have been better.
Link Posted: 8/30/2005 2:36:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Einherjer:
Kung Pow: Enter the fist, I hate this movie with every ounce of my being.



Dayum, that's a hilarious movie.

You didn't by any chance watch it thinking it was a real kung-fu movie, did you?


yeah seriously, download a dvd rip then stay up till 3am then watch it, funniest god damn thing you'll ever see.
Link Posted: 8/30/2005 4:42:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/30/2005 4:55:26 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/30/2005 4:56:57 PM EDT by MrScaramanga]
+1,000,000 for The thin red line

What the fuck was up with the grenade exploding on Woddy Harrelsons waist, from what I have been told and read he should have been in many pieces.

How about Kung Fu Hustle? I have never seen it but it looks wicked GAY.
Link Posted: 8/30/2005 6:51:49 PM EDT
Kung Fu Hustle was pretty campy/ slap stick. Liked it. Played into a lot of the myths and legends and poked fun at it. Didn't mind paying 5.50 to see it at a matinee and would certainly think it is worth renting.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 11:21:18 PM EDT
Alexander
I admit it. I watched it. Please forgive me.
It was the hopes and dream of a FEMALE Topless scene, which there was, that made me go see it.
Stone(d) is going to have to create a Major Miracle for me to go to one of his flicks again.
Of course his Any Given Sunday is about the best Pro Football movie I’ve ever saw so there might be hope for him some day.
Link Posted: 8/31/2005 11:41:30 PM EDT
Dark Water. Suck #ss attempt at a horror movie. Even with Jennifer Connelly, the suck o meter still pegged.
Link Posted: 9/1/2005 12:09:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By f2:
Dark Water. Suck #ss attempt at a horror movie. Even with Jennifer Connelly, the suck o meter still pegged.

I have a joke about the movie being all wet, but I won't use it.
Link Posted: 9/1/2005 1:39:36 AM EDT
The Shipping News. Holeeee crap, you couldn't make a duller movie if you tried.
Link Posted: 9/2/2005 7:17:56 PM EDT
Bringing Out the Dead. Just cuz it sucked.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 5:20:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Kihn:
Kung Fu Hustle was pretty campy/ slap stick. Liked it. Played into a lot of the myths and legends and poked fun at it. Didn't mind paying 5.50 to see it at a matinee and would certainly think it is worth renting.



+1

Watched it with the guys and a few beers...... classic Hong Kong fayre!
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 8:31:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 556A2:
Crazy/Beautiful

There is NO pie in the world that is worth sitting through that movie. If you girlfriend says lets watch Crazy/Beautiful you have 3 options:

1. Kick her out of your house

2. Quicky drink coupious amounts of vodka, gin, bourbon.... anything that is at least 80 proof to pass out.

3. Insert knife into eyeballs


Oh GOD that movie was horrendous. All I wanted was for it to end and for Kirsten to put on a damn bra.
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 8:36:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/6/2005 8:37:37 PM EDT by fargoman]
Gangland

Unless you just want to watch it out of morbid curiosity.

Link Posted: 9/6/2005 11:20:21 PM EDT
The Marksman, starring a sleepwalking Wesley Snipes and the know-nothing Lt. Gorman from Aliens, was released today on DVD with no prior theatrical run and if I'd noticed that it was produced by crapmeister Andrew Stevens I wouldn't even have bothered taking it as a freebie.

The budget and, needless to say, continuity are non-existant, with aircraft exteriors and interiors so completely out of whack they could have been recycled from the old Airwolf TV series. Aside from washed out footage recycled from Top Gun (complete with bogus F-14 tail markings and Merlin's helmet), F-16s become F-4s, F-5s and even an A-4 depending on the shot they needed and obviously didn't have the money or imagination to create.

The weapons Snipes and his team carry -- and he's only referred to in the film as "The Painter" because he specializes in infiltration and "painting" targets for precision airstrikes and is never, ever referred to as a "Marksman" -- look like highly altered Uzis. They're Uzi receivers, rear sights, cocking knobs and barrel nuts but have MP5 retractable buttstocks, hooded front sights and pistol grips and trigger groups that have been moved to the rear of the mag well where the standard Uzi buttstock usually folds into (the magazine remains in the same place with a severely cut down mag well below the ejection port). If there's a legitimate subgun out there with these features, I'll cop to my ignorance, but if not, why would they bother? I do remember MAC-10s being mocked up to look like Uzis in Stripes, but this is ridiculous.



The funniest goof of all, though, is Stevens himself in full metal Tom Skerrit lookalike mode as the
skipper of the Nimitz class carrier "USS Oakla" wearing a command ballcap with the ship designation "SSN-798" -- making it a NUCLEAR ATTACK SUB!
Link Posted: 9/6/2005 11:39:59 PM EDT
-1
Thin Red Line
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 9:16:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Zardoz:

Originally Posted By TxLewis:
THE THIN RED LINE

NEVER waste your time.

TXL

BIG +1! One of the absolute stupidest movies I have ever seen. I am SO glad I didn't pay to see it.



Its all in the eye of the beholder. If you want a straightforward, linear, clear cut war movie, you are correct, don't waste your time. Watch Private Ryan, BoB, something along those lines.

However, if you are willing to watch with a more open mind, and want to be engulfed in some magnificent cinematography, and thought provoking images, then it is a very good movie.

The first time I watched this movie (and probably the second time) I just hated it. I was expecting Saving Private Ryan, the Pacific. You certainly don't get that.

However upon further viewing, sometimes while drinking, I started to see it as more than just a standard linear story telling war movie. If you watch and closely observe and listen a few times, you may be surprised with what you come away with.

Regardless of what you think of the story, just looking at the cinematography, you have to admit it is one of the most spectacular and beautifully shot war movies ever. Each scene is artwork unto itself.

And I believe it has some very accurate combat scenes. The scene with the men advancing up the hill in the tall grass, the one guy sees a couple of Japs appear and pops them. Then you see return fire zipping your way, but don't see the firers. Excellent detail, and very realistic considering the theater of operations.

The attack on the pillbox on the crest of the hill, prying out the defenders from their spider holes. The shotgun toting guy executing the Jap prisoner in anger. The attack on the Jap stronghold in the forest, the guy pulling the gold teeth from the dead Japs.

The exultation of the guys being off the line in enjoying the cool surf after days on the line. Getting drunk, the gold tooth guy losing it...

The attack up the creek and Jim Caviezels leading the Jap patrol away, and finally being surrounded.

Again, if you want a straightforward, linear movie that a 10 year old can watch and enjoy, this isn't that movie (don't get me wrong. I love those too). But if you want to watch a beautiful piece of artwork about war, and the effects it might have on those in it, really take some time and effort and watch this....think about what is being shown and said, and enjoy. The equipment is very well done too, the Hawley paper liners in the M1 helmets (can't miss those big ass rims), nice period weapons, grenades painted properly, great web gear...all things I watch closely for, and enjoy when gotten right. The only thing I can remember off the top of my head I didn't like was the buckles on the liner chinstraps across the front of the helmets....

Anyway, you guys might want to give it another shot, and for those who haven't seen it yet, don't let the reviews discourage you, watch it and form your own opinions....
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 5:17:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By f2:
Dark Water. Suck #ss attempt at a horror movie. Even with Jennifer Connelly, the suck o meter still pegged.



The Japanese original is just as bad.
Link Posted: 9/7/2005 7:07:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By Einherjer:
Kung Pow: Enter the fist, I hate this movie with every ounce of my being.



Dayum, that's a hilarious movie.

You didn't by any chance watch it thinking it was a real kung-fu movie, did you?



Forgot about this thread. No I knew it was a "comedy" but I was expecting it to actually be a funny spoof of kung fu movies like the part in the kentucky fried movie. This movie just tried to hard though I do realise the guy just redubbed a real movie, I just think he could of done a lot better. The only real honest laugh I got was the part when he saw the one guy get beat with sticks and just shrug it off then he decided to try it himself and was beaten senseless.
Link Posted: 9/9/2005 3:29:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By XM-15:
Bringing Out the Dead. Just cuz it sucked.



I disagree.. parts did suck, but I identified with several others...


Marcus: I rebuke the spirit of drugs in the name of Jesus. What's his name?

Drummer: I.B. Bangin'.

Marcus: What you mean I.B. Bangin'?

Drummer: I.B. Bangin'!

Marcus: What the hell kind of name is I.B. Bangin'?

Drummer: I don't know his real name.

I.B.'s Girlfriend: It's Frederick Smith.

Marcus: Okay, Freddy -

I.B.'s Girlfriend: It's Frederick.

Marcus: Okay, I.B. Bangin', we're gonna bring you back from the dead.



Link Posted: 9/10/2005 11:14:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Einherjer:
Kung Pow: Enter the fist, I hate this movie with every ounce of my being.






I loved that movie.


PEE OOOO WEEE OOOO


CHOSENN!!!!!

Link Posted: 9/10/2005 8:38:04 PM EDT
A Thin Red Line contains some of the best cinematography I have ever seen. The long grass scene was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen on film.

Thankfully I don't come here for film recommendations.
Link Posted: 9/11/2005 10:47:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/11/2005 10:49:01 PM EDT by AR15fan]
The Brown Bunny.

Worst movie ever, but that Chloe actresses real talet is revealed at the end. Talk about Pegging the suck-meter!!! OMG!
Link Posted: 9/11/2005 10:50:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Burley:
A Thin Red Line contains some of the best cinematography I have ever seen. The long grass scene was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen on film.

Thankfully I don't come here for film recommendations.



Why film a battle when you can film the battle from the perspective of a dung beetle veiwing it through a water droplet on a fern leaf...
Link Posted: 9/11/2005 11:47:16 PM EDT
house of 1000 corpses



Link Posted: 9/11/2005 11:57:16 PM EDT
The Ring.
Link Posted: 9/12/2005 12:03:26 AM EDT
"A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon"
a High School gf made me see that piece of shit,
I'll never forgive her!

myitinaw
Link Posted: 9/12/2005 12:14:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Zuma:
The Marksman, starring a sleepwalking Wesley Snipes and the know-nothing Lt. Gorman from Aliens, was released today on DVD with no prior theatrical run and if I'd noticed that it was produced by crapmeister Andrew Stevens I wouldn't even have bothered taking it as a freebie.

The weapons Snipes and his team carry -- and he's only referred to in the film as "The Painter" because he specializes in infiltration and "painting" targets for precision airstrikes and is never, ever referred to as a "Marksman" -- look like highly altered Uzis. They're Uzi receivers, rear sights, cocking knobs and barrel nuts but have MP5 retractable buttstocks, hooded front sights and pistol grips and trigger groups that have been moved to the rear of the mag well where the standard Uzi buttstock usually folds into (the magazine remains in the same place with a severely cut down mag well below the ejection port). If there's a legitimate subgun out there with these features, I'll cop to my ignorance, but if not, why would they bother? I do remember MAC-10s being mocked up to look like Uzis in Stripes, but this is ridiculous.





When the guy in the tower was providing covering fire for Snipes, his UZI(?) kept changing back and forth into an AK-47.
Link Posted: 9/12/2005 3:03:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/12/2005 3:04:17 PM EDT by JayJay4735]
Darkness Falls and Feardotcom...........succkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkedddddd

ETA: Oh and how could I forget Cellular
Link Posted: 9/12/2005 3:18:37 PM EDT
tag
Link Posted: 9/12/2005 5:57:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/12/2005 5:58:09 PM EDT by guardian855]

Originally Posted By MrScaramanga:
+1,000,000 for The thin red line

What the fuck was up with the grenade exploding on Woddy Harrelsons waist, from what I have been told and read he should have been in many pieces.

How about Kung Fu Hustle? I have never seen it but it looks wicked GAY.



Not so sure about the grenade thing. People have jumped on grenades and lived to tell the tale. One guy jumped on two japanese grenades and lived for another 50 years (I know that Jap grenades were small, but two of them have to count for something)

Would I want to attempt the grenade thing? no. But I don't necessarily believe he would be blown to pieces. It could probably go either way.

Link Posted: 9/12/2005 8:36:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ALPHAGHOST:
house of 1000 corpses





+100 worst movie i have ever seen made battlefield earth look good but I loved the devils rejects
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 11:22:15 PM EDT
"Mindhunters" -- just out on DVD.

Stupid, illogical, derivative and...

... UNDERWATER GUNFIGHT!
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 11:42:00 PM EDT
DVD of Submerged........... I almost drowned! Did I imagine Steven Segal's voice was dubbed?
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 8:25:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pzjgr:

Originally Posted By Zardoz:

Originally Posted By TxLewis:
THE THIN RED LINE

NEVER waste your time.

TXL

BIG +1! One of the absolute stupidest movies I have ever seen. I am SO glad I didn't pay to see it.



Its all in the eye of the beholder. If you want a straightforward, linear, clear cut war movie, you are correct, don't waste your time. Watch Private Ryan, BoB, something along those lines.

However, if you are willing to watch with a more open mind, and want to be engulfed in some magnificent cinematography, and thought provoking images, then it is a very good movie.

The first time I watched this movie (and probably the second time) I just hated it. I was expecting Saving Private Ryan, the Pacific. You certainly don't get that.

However upon further viewing, sometimes while drinking, I started to see it as more than just a standard linear story telling war movie. If you watch and closely observe and listen a few times, you may be surprised with what you come away with.

Regardless of what you think of the story, just looking at the cinematography, you have to admit it is one of the most spectacular and beautifully shot war movies ever. Each scene is artwork unto itself.

And I believe it has some very accurate combat scenes. The scene with the men advancing up the hill in the tall grass, the one guy sees a couple of Japs appear and pops them. Then you see return fire zipping your way, but don't see the firers. Excellent detail, and very realistic considering the theater of operations.

The attack on the pillbox on the crest of the hill, prying out the defenders from their spider holes. The shotgun toting guy executing the Jap prisoner in anger. The attack on the Jap stronghold in the forest, the guy pulling the gold teeth from the dead Japs.

The exultation of the guys being off the line in enjoying the cool surf after days on the line. Getting drunk, the gold tooth guy losing it...

The attack up the creek and Jim Caviezels leading the Jap patrol away, and finally being surrounded.

Again, if you want a straightforward, linear movie that a 10 year old can watch and enjoy, this isn't that movie (don't get me wrong. I love those too). But if you want to watch a beautiful piece of artwork about war, and the effects it might have on those in it, really take some time and effort and watch this....think about what is being shown and said, and enjoy. The equipment is very well done too, the Hawley paper liners in the M1 helmets (can't miss those big ass rims), nice period weapons, grenades painted properly, great web gear...all things I watch closely for, and enjoy when gotten right. The only thing I can remember off the top of my head I didn't like was the buckles on the liner chinstraps across the front of the helmets....

Anyway, you guys might want to give it another shot, and for those who haven't seen it yet, don't let the reviews discourage you, watch it and form your own opinions....




don't take this the wrong way

but even after I saw it, I knew some people would say shit like that. It's my opinion that anyone whe see's anything redeeming about this movie is a sad, pathetic loser who is trying to see something that isn't there. So they can say thing's like it's too deep for you, I get it, but you don't. And is an artsy dumbass not capable of a critical thought.

on second thought, there is no right way to take that.

So, with that, I will apologize, but that is truly what I think.

I am saddened that there is an afrcom member who thinks this movie has any redeeming value.

TXLEWIS
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:00:52 AM EDT
There's more than a few it seems, I also enjoy it, someone says it's deep for you, you don't agree, I'll suggest maybe you're considering it to deeply yourself.
What's not to enjoy about the combat, the artillery that pounded them, the realistic shooting, mis handling a grenade, capturing the bunkers on top, ect., ect., ect., perhaps it's you who expect something to be deep. Granted it was a deeper movie intended, about a pacifists who seems to really be a good solider, but even not considering that it's a good movie for the action and scenery.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:57:02 AM EDT
DEFINITELY fear.com. I think that one tops my list of the suckiest bunch of suck that ever sucked. Followed closely by:

- Fast and the Furious 2 (sadly, I'll admit I found the first one mildly entertaining)
- Anything with Steven Segal in it is a guaranteed suckfest.
- Almost everything that Jean Claude Van Damme has been in (I kind of liked Time Cop)
- Natural Born Killers (IIRC Quentin Tarantino is even ashamed of how badly Oliver Stone fucked that one up)
- Anything made by Michael Moore (that's pretty much a no brainer though)
- American Werewolf in Paris (by far the biggest letdown of a sequel to what I consider one of the greatest horror movies)
- House of the Dead (the absolute only redeeming quality of this movie was the topless Penny Phang as Tyranny)
more to come...

IMDb Bottom 100 is a pretty good list of movies to avoid as well.

I want to say Napoleon Dynamite but as fucking retarded as that movie was there was something about it that cracks me up about it.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 9:23:22 AM EDT
The Skeleton Key
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 12:01:11 AM EDT
The Ninth Gate.

Good lord that movie sucked something awful.

I actually liked Thin Red Line..sorry guys.
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 6:33:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By inferno715:
The Ninth Gate.
I hate to say it but there was something I actually liked about that movie. I can't really say what it was exactly. The mood/feel of the movie seemed to be more like an older classic horror movie than the typical, predictable, over-produced trash made these days. it was a weird flick to say the least, but I wouldn't say it should be totally avoided.

Link Posted: 10/7/2005 6:37:33 AM EDT
Runaway Jury. An anti-gun movie taken from an anti-tobacco book.

Dustin Hoffman is an ass. I got rooked for $6.50 before I knew what it was. If I hadn't been with a group, I would have walked out and smeared my melted Junior Mints on the screen on the way.
Link Posted: 10/7/2005 6:37:50 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/7/2005 6:52:07 AM EDT by xinflt]

Originally Posted By TxLewis:
THE THIN RED LINE

NEVER waste your time.

TXL



Oh Gawd Yes... you are right on the money with this peice of tripe. Holy crap, did this movie suck. The only good part was John Cusak's little mission to take out the MG bunkers.

I walked out of the theatre on this one before the end!

Edit: Let me also say that I would rather rip off both nut sacks with a rusty Turkish bottle opener before I ever have to see Napolean Dynamite again!
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