I know most of these have been posted before..but it's my birthday and I like them!
BTW, they are all numbered (1) because they are all number 1.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color . Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, hunting or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping....try something harder like sleeping with your mother!
You know, there's a lot of wisdom in the original post. Just sayin....
You know, sleeping on the couch isn't that bad...especially if the prospects for serious lovin aren't very high that evening.
Here are some more:
1. If you're lovin' your man at least 5 times a week, chances of him cheating on you plumet to nearly zero. He'd be too tired to look anywhere else.
1. If your man isn't asking for action, you should start worrying and see what you need to do to jump start things before he loses interest forever. Not casting blame with this one. Just mentioning that a man who feels so rejected that he doesn't ask anymore is suffering and the potential is higher that he will look for "relief" somewhere.
Happy Birthday, Naked Gunman.
Thank you...wrong thread...haha, kidding, thank you Atlnatnananhanayanana..or whatever your name is!
Agreed. That one works both ways.
The couch isnt long enough for him!!! Poor guy. He has yet to be forced to the couch. (I should probably add a 'yet' onto that.) If Im that pissed off at him, I'll go sleep in one of the other 2 rooms. (much comfier beds) But It has yet to come to that. Im gunna go ahead and add a Woo-Hoo!