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Posted: 7/19/2010 9:18:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2010 9:20:23 PM EDT by SleeperShooter]
I got this in an email from my Grandpa (former Marine [Korean War]):
You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!!  How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!  If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!


-SleeperShooter
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:19:16 PM EDT
I'm in.
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:20:52 PM EDT
42 for who?  I thought 29 and 32 were cut offs?
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:21:23 PM EDT
your ideas are completely logical, therefore the military will do the opposite thing
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:21:23 PM EDT
I agree with everything written by the OP
Even if I may have seen some of it in a chain mail somewhere...
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:21:24 PM EDT
lol
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:22:06 PM EDT
are we in the same state of disaster as 1943 Germany?
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:22:10 PM EDT
You'd change your mind after you see the mountains those guys have to climb in Afghanistan.
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:22:53 PM EDT
My best friend went back in at 43. He's in the 101st in Afghanistan, home on leave now. Possibly the greatest man I've ever known.
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:24:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Vigilante256:
42 for who?  I thought 29 and 32 were cut offs?


The Guard was taking people up to their early 40s , at least til recently.
It hasn't been 20-anything in quite a while.
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:26:30 PM EDT
oh nice... now only if they fix the BMI.
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:29:56 PM EDT
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:31:01 PM EDT
Active Duty Marines has an age cut off of 28 i believe.
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:35:23 PM EDT
My dad a 73 year old Marine...Has been saying exactly the same thing.
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:37:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2010 9:38:05 PM EDT by mike67th]
...
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:42:50 PM EDT
Plus old men fight dirty.

What we really need is some balls! Fuck nation building, you cant build anything out of a shit hole!
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:44:22 PM EDT
Hell hath no fury like a pissed off old guy in a tank.
Link Posted: 7/19/2010 9:46:42 PM EDT
Shit, put me at 10K feet while it's 120 degrees outside. Slap a 150 pound pack on me and the only place I'm marching is a place where I could set the pack down.



I just spent an afternoon driving fence posts and stringing pig wire... Let me tell ya, I ain't 18 no mo.
Link Posted: 7/20/2010 4:39:48 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Sub-MOA:
Shit, put me at 10K feet while it's 120 degrees outside. Slap a 150 pound pack on me and the only place I'm marching is a place where I could set the pack down.


Your post brings up a larger issue , that we are overloading our guys more than any military has ever done before in history.
Link Posted: 7/20/2010 5:30:13 AM EDT
I'm in and ready! I can do the 10K mountain stuff no problem, 150 lb pack sure thing, eat freeze dried food not an issue been eating my wifes cooking for 25 years, shoot and gut as required easy. I just may need to pack some sent free ice/heat packs and a few hundred tablets of aleve. I join in a heart beat!

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/20/2010 5:58:32 AM EDT
I'm 55 and I think about sex 24/7.  
Jist can't always remember what I thought about it.......
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