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Posted: 8/10/2005 1:24:19 PM EDT
I’ll tell you mine.

I was stationed in Germany during the 80’s with the 1st AD. During lunch we used to all pile in our cars and drive down to Division HQ to go to the Division Chow Hall, seemed they always had better chow, go figure!

Any way I was a young buck Sgt and was walking with a couple other E-5’s and our two Platoon Sgts. We headed past Div HQ towards the Chow Hall. We were all in high spirits and joking around. One of the other guys said something lame and I started doing jumping jacks yelling out “The new phone books are here, the new phone books are here!” Suddenly I here this loud “Sgt!”. We all stopped and turned to see who called out to us, well little did I know the Div Sgt Major was walking directly behind us the whole time!

First I got the biggest ass chewing for not presenting myself as an NCO. Then he decided to tear loose on my Plt Sgt for letting me act the way I did, then the other Plt Sgt got his turn too! All this while locked at parade rest during lunch in front of a crowd, in front of Div HQ!!!

Oh and needless to say, the Sgt Major did follow through with his threat to call our Squadron Sgt Major. So after lunch I had the pleasure of getting my ass chewed by my 1SG......yea, shit does run down hill!!!
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:27:24 PM EDT


never been yelled out by anyone other than in basic training.

although i only wore my uniform at work and few other occasions.

hilarious story though
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:28:13 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:30:48 PM EDT
I was a Lance Coolie when I got chewed out big time by a full bird Marine Colonel. This was during GW1. He didn't like how I challenged him on guard - I wasn't very polite, I think I even cursed. Friggin guy wouldn't halt when I told him, so I got loud.
Always remember - "Walk my post from flank to flank and take no shit from any rank".
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:31:31 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:32:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 1:35:06 PM EDT by Dolomite]
The ass chewing from any Command 06 would easily compare to a warm spring breeze when held next to the mental carnage, the verbal rape, a fucking Navy Master Chief layed up and in to our heads in "A" school. Seriously - there is no way in hell people get talked to like that anymore.

You'd see people lined up at parade rest outside his office door, and then watch them walk out slowly with their heads down and shoulders sunk. He'd time it, as one sad squid walked out, the next guy in line would see him in all his misery, and then you'd hear him call in another: "Vagina!" (if the guy's name was Vienna or something like that) "Get you're stupid ass in here and get ready to suck on the snotty end of my fuckstick you piece of shit!"

I thought (more prayed) that this individual would have a pretty calm home life since the amount of time stress stayed in his body at work was probably in the order of seconds due to the fact that he could explode at will whenever his coffee went cold or it snowed.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:32:49 PM EDT
brigadier general- division commander, for having hair down to my mouth.
I was walking on a base and someone asked me how long I had been doing reserve duty already, without turning around and looking I laughed and claimed that I would never bother with even a day of reserves, I hear the guy scream something like what did you say... I turn around and it is the division commander, he ranted and raved for a long time, till I explained that a- i had no obligation for reserves if i am in country for less than a certain amount of time a year. and b- that my job allowed me to have hair that long... saw him a week later when i didnt have that job anymore, and he personaly shaved my head.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:33:52 PM EDT
I got an ass-reaming from a full bird Colonel promotable...the Brigade Commander no less. What really pissed him off was that I didn't go all weak and shakey when he started screaming at me.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:35:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 1:41:53 PM EDT by Slacker]
I got my ass chewed by the Sec. of defense back in 1995.
I took it like a high speed NCO should. I was following orders and my COC had my back, but the honorable SED seemed to think he knew best.
Needless to say, I stood at attention the entire 5 mins. I was glad to see the Division SGM arrive...he sent my ass back to work.

On the upside to the whole ass chewing, once my orders were explained to the SED, he mentioned to the SGM that his NCO's sure do follow orders. I think that made the old man proud.

ETA: I forgot about the time the Company commander got the shit shocked out of him.
He used to try to sneak up on us in the middle of the night. We got his ass with a 5K genny and some wire hooked to the steps of a RATT rig (S250G)....he never tried that shit again, but we did many many elevated push ups for it. The 1st shirt laughed his ass off. Crusty ole' bastard....gawd I miss those guys.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:36:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:37:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 82ndAbn:

Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer:
i got dropped in the parking lot on my way in to work by a 2 star. he walked past while i was dismounting my motorcycle and i didn't see him / didn't salute.

on the bright side i was in charge of his tour of the facility for the week and he was a fun guy to be around. Treated us DAMN well.



LOL! When I was a Private E-nothing, still in training, I had a brain cramp and waved at a 1-Star instead of saluting.





I got my ass utterly handed to me by my BN XO one time when. I deserved it.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:43:36 PM EDT
God... I guess I never caught any flak.

Army

Basic / AIT : just got the individual special treatment twice... Once by an E-5 the other by an E-7.
The average seemed to be approx. 25 to 30 by recruit.

Later

Took an 0-1's parking spot once... not really a chew out though... more of an order.


Now if the topic was : "Things you did in the military that you should of got chewed out for..."[/size=2]
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:45:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Beer_Slayer:
i got dropped in the parking lot on my way in to work by a 2 star. he walked past while i was dismounting my motorcycle and i didn't see him / didn't salute.

on the bright side i was in charge of his tour of the facility for the week and he was a fun guy to be around. Treated us DAMN well.



I would never do that. I'd finding his supervisor.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:47:01 PM EDT
Slammed? Yes.

Chewed out? Not since Plebe Year, and that was by some asshole 2nd Classman.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:47:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 1:48:31 PM EDT by J_Smith]
Trying to remember the last time I got dropped for fucking up - probably when I was an E3........once I made E4 I was very good at avoiding the radar........transferred over from the Army to the Coast Guard in 2003.. heh.....Coast Guard is afraid to drop people (hell, I didn't even go to their boot camp) What a push-up again? Don't get me wrong, my unit does PT tests and for the Coast Guard we are "The Tip of the Spear" pfffffffft..............but anyway - aside from me being an uber-tactical USCG TUNA (Tactical Underwater Nautical Assasin) I do kind of miss the Army.........I don't miss the retarded ass bullshit I was confronted with on a daily basis however.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:49:19 PM EDT
Captains Masts don't count, do they?

My only real ass chewing came from Master Chief Jack Cragen, a two tour Maintenance Master Chief with the Blue Angels. In between tours I was stationed with him at NAS Point Mugu when I was a young Airman.

Me and a buddy had the good fortune of getting caught by the Master Chief dropping oil and fuel soaked paper balls into the upward facing exhaust of a GTC85 huffer at night at the end of the flight line.

He unloaded on us and I think he used the word "fuck" more time in that 15 minute ass chewing than he did in the previous year.

It got to the point (to me anyways) where I started to laugh.
That pissed him off even more.

Me and my buddy ended up cleaning shitters for the next month, plus being Master Jacks personal shitty little jobs PO's.

I was later told by my division Chief that after the ass chewing was over Master Jack, my division Chief, the maintenance Chief, my division officer, my LPO and the assistant maintenance officer got together in the chiefs mess and laughed over my dumb-assed stunt for quite a while.

Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:55:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 1:55:38 PM EDT by photokirk]

Originally Posted By KA3B:
Captains Masts don't count, do they?

My only real ass chewing came from Master Chief Jack Cragen, a two tour Maintenance Master Chief with the Blue Angels. In between tours I was stationed with him at NAS Point Mugu when I was a young Airman.

Me and a buddy had the good fortune of getting caught by the Master Chief dropping oil and fuel soaked paper balls into the upward facing exhaust of a GTC85 huffer at night at the end of the flight line.



In terms a dumbass civilian observer (my title in the Lumberjack Battalion at SFA)can understand, what is a GTC85 huffer and what happens when you drop a fuel-soaked paper ball into the exhaust?
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:58:02 PM EDT
No Officer ever touched the ass-chewing I got from a Marine Master Gunnery Sergeant during a academic review board during EOD school, let me tell you I had no ass left and heard cuss words I never new existed.

Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:58:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By photokirk:

Originally Posted By KA3B:
Captains Masts don't count, do they?

My only real ass chewing came from Master Chief Jack Cragen, a two tour Maintenance Master Chief with the Blue Angels. In between tours I was stationed with him at NAS Point Mugu when I was a young Airman.

Me and a buddy had the good fortune of getting caught by the Master Chief dropping oil and fuel soaked paper balls into the upward facing exhaust of a GTC85 huffer at night at the end of the flight line.



In terms a dumbass civilian observer (my title in the Lumberjack Battalion at SFA)can understand, what is a GTC85 huffer and what happens when you drop a fuel-soaked paper ball into the exhaust?



IIRC, a huffer is one of those things that they use to start a jet engine.....

Fuel soaked paper ball + hot exaust = Fireball.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:59:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 2:01:18 PM EDT by mobius]
here is a hint.........NEVER PARK in a resereved spot for the commanding general.......that's all I have to say. I got chewed out by everybody in the entire chain of command, going from the top down.........and damn that ended up to be a 3 day ordeal.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 1:59:53 PM EDT
One summer at AT in fort drum got chewed by the base commander, i was in maintanance on the tank range during a live fire when what looked like a pov parked a little to close to the range firing line (u know dont look around and park where all the large trucks and cars are park w/ the tanks )brilliant i tell ya! well any way the guys were getting ready to shoot so we all watck this guy get out of the car and walk away. here come the laughter. well if u ever saw a m1 live fire w/ a sabot then u know not to park behind one in the cuncussion zone as we called it anyway they let a round go and popped some windows. funny as hell everyone got a good laugh over it EXCEPT the base commander standing behind us long enough for us to finish our encouraging comments. we all got dropped first time since AIT ive been dropped but it was still funny and he felt like an ass.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:00:22 PM EDT
As a WO1 pulling a shift as the Squadron Duty Officer, I had a Senator call me on a Sunday morning and demand that one of his constituants needed housing immediately and asked me what I was going to do about it. He called every couple hours demanding updates. That was a very long day, but we found a Ranger E-5 and his family a place to stay. The Squardron Commander chose to make himself scarce that day, so I got ahold of the XO, a Major, and he stood behind me, listening, when I called the senator to update him.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:00:58 PM EDT
Hmm....

Havent had an asschewing yet in my 3 years.

At BT/AIT but that doesnt really count and it was more of a "sit there in the pushup position for 30mins straight" kinda thing.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:03:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 2:04:13 PM EDT by JaviFL]
As a Hospital Corpsman 3rd class, I got reamed pretty good by my unit's 1st Sgt. Me and a couple of buds broke curfew while on liberty in Italy.

He was VERY leniant, but I will never forget the ass chewing.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:03:43 PM EDT
I was at Meps to take the ASVAB for the Marine Corps and had a navy ensign tell me to take off my cover, it wasn't allowed at meps indoors. I told him I wasn't in the military, I was there taking my test, so he could shove his butter bar, and his ego, up his ass. My Marine recruiter was right next to me giggling like a little school girl. We walked off and as we did he was chuckling and went ahead and told me to take off my hat. I did. Why is Ensign even a rank though? Shouldn't they be called, "squid bitch"?
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:04:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By KA3B:
Me and a buddy had the good fortune of getting caught by the Master Chief dropping oil and fuel soaked paper balls into the upward facing exhaust of a GTC85 huffer at night at the end of the flight line.



What does that do?


I had a brain cramp and walked right by a W-4. I was tossing an orange back and forth between my hands and just walked right by. He said "Afternoon private" and I said "How ya doing sir." He got loud, PRIVATE, YOU BETTER PUT THAT HAND WHERE IT BELONGS!" I felt pretty stupid, I was really zoned out to have done that!
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:04:56 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 2:07:28 PM EDT by KA3B]
A GTC85 is a gas turbine compressor that the Navy and Marines use as a ground air start unit for turbine aircraft.

The exhaust "pipe" makes a 90 degree bend and points straight up.



Imagine dropping oil and fuel soaked paper balls into the jet blast of this unit.

They end up becoming flaming oil and fuel soaked paper balls that get ejected at least 50-75 feet in the air.

The Master Chief caught us right after we had filled the exhaust pipe with 20 oil and fuel soaked paper balls and started it up.



Originally Posted By photokirk:
In terms a dumbass civilian observer (my title in the Lumberjack Battalion at SFA)can understand, what is a GTC85 huffer and what happens when you drop a fuel-soaked paper ball into the exhaust?

Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:07:52 PM EDT
I was in the reserves, on my annual active duty. I'd put an "AA" (American Airlines) patch on my flight jacket. Some one-star saw me from his car, had his driver pull over, and about popped a capillary in his forhead. Then he went and had a talk with my squadron commander, too.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:08:20 PM EDT
I've got two. One as a 2LT being reamed by an 0-6 for getting in trouble with the G6 shop in Ft Lewis. That was my 'highest ranking' one.

The worst one, and probably most deserved, was when I as a humble 3-star trooper (PFC equivalent) got hauled before the Commandant (Major equivalent) for some internet indiscretions which did not look good on the unit at all.

It was about the only time the Squadron commander ever spoke to me directly, I think.

NTM
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:10:21 PM EDT
This isn't mine, but its so fucking funny I saved it.

Its from a blogger that goes by the handle SGT STRYKER, talking about how he once got a LOR (Letter of Reprimand)..

Best story EVER.




This may come as a shock to you good people, but my smart-ass mouth actually gets me into trouble sometimes. No, really. Would someone please give Mrs. Bumplestick some air, she seems to have gotten the vapors.

Anyway, LOR #4 came about when I was refueling my plane at an undisclosed desert kingdom somewhere in the Middle East, between the Arabian Gulf and the Red Sea. Let's call it "Not Bahrain but Close".

The refuel driver and his passenger "Joe Blow" pulled up to the aircraft. I set everything up and was about to send gas when the driver came up to me babbling about some shit.

"blah blah allah blah blah"

"Don't speak to me in your heathen tongue!" I proclaimed in the dramatic British accent I adopted when in the Kingdom, "Speak the King's English you nearly civilized Mohammedan! And be quick with it!"

Apparently, this guy understood English. And no, I didn't get the LOR for that. I got it for what happened afterwards.

So we're refueling and I'm walking around trying to keep myself awake when I notice the truck driver has disappeared.

"Anybody see where our fucking driver went?" I asked over the interphone. All replies were negative.

I walked over to the truck and peered into the cab to see "Joe Blow" earning his name with our truck driver. They say the brain is a lot like an electrical system and I guess my circuit breaker tripped. I stood there, dumbfounded. Intellectually, I knew that homosexual acts are legion in this part of the world. They don't go around saying, "Women are for marriage, men are for pleasure" for nothing, Timmy. Yet being presented with a living representation of a Greek vase portrait had the effect of stupefying me, until I quickly recovered and got the driver's attention.

"What are you doing?" I calmly asked the driver.

"blah, blah, bobbing, blah, for, blah, blah apples, blah"

I clicked the U-94 and spoke on the interphone, "Our driver's getting a blowjob from some dude right now."

"Is that against the checklist?" came the reply from upstairs. No, indeed it was not against the checklist. I don't know how, but the authors of the checklist forgot to put the injunction against BJ's in the book.

Unbeknownst to me, the co-pilot was upstairs listening to the interphone conversation over the PA. He didn't like my innocent inquiry regarding fellatio during refueling operations.

"This is Captain Air Force (not his real name), what are you talking about?"

"Uh, sir, our driver's getting his knob polished by his assistant." I answered.

"You will maintain interphone discipline." was the terse reply.

"But I'm telling the truth, sir. Our driver is, as we speak, getting a blow -hey, looks like his buddy finished. His head just popped up. I wonder if he spits or swallows..."

"Chief, I want to see your ass up here when we're through."

Okay, them's the breaks. I can accept that. As I was cleaning up the area, my panel operator came over the interphone and said, "I bet you a case his buddy swallows. Why don't you ask?"

"Okay"

As I was going over to the driver, the captain was coming down the ladder in time to see me making the International Blow Job Gesture to the driver and the driver responding by patting his tummy and smiling. Well, that didn't go over too well.

The Captain came storming over and began laying into me when the driver, pointing at his passenger and then at my Captain's crotch, began making the Internationally Recognized Blowjob signal with his free hand. My Captain, red-faced, looked at me and asked, "Did you tell his buddy to give me- ", he paused and said in a whisper, "a blowjob?"

"No sir, I asked if his buddy swallowed or not. I've got a case of beer riding on it. Though you should feel flattered, sir. I'm certain it's just not any infidel who gets asked." I replied.

"Now you listen to me you fucking airman! You will tell that man that I'm not interested in his offer!"

"But sir, I don't speak their language. And besides, you might insult them by refusing."

That's what got me my LOR.




Link Posted: 8/10/2005 2:16:22 PM EDT
The only REAL ass chewing I got was when they caught me out tanning in a lawnchair, no shirt, in front of my retrans rig during a field problem. The Bn. SGM and Lt. Col drove up to the gate and I had my reflector out and everything. It was legendary.

The site NCO had me digging cable trenches in rocky ground till my hands were blistered and bleeding.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 3:13:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 3:16:14 PM EDT by heron163]
A major general - I was late for a meeting at BN and took a short cut across a field where there was a review going on - - I cut behind the stand and got called out - thought I was trying to avoid him (I was). I was in dress greens so it didn't last long

Edited to add - POST #400!!!
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 3:21:39 PM EDT


O-6 Chief of Surgery for a lil computer/email prank that went too far. I was just the collateral damage. The real culprits were reamed by the O-8 hospital commander for about 30 minutes.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 3:45:49 PM EDT
This shit is great. keep it coming.

POST 600 BITCHES!
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:02:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 4:02:50 PM EDT by Mauser101]

Though you should feel flattered, sir. I'm certain it's just not any infidel who gets asked.


Oh man. That's great. Consider this a civi-tag.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:08:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 4:38:34 PM EDT by ChrisLe]

Originally Posted By GonzoAR15-1:
This isn't mine, but its so fucking funny I saved it.

Its from a blogger that goes by the handle SGT STRYKER, talking about how he once got a LOR (Letter of Reprimand)..

Best story EVER.




This may come as a shock to you good people, but my smart-ass mouth actually gets me into trouble sometimes. No, really. Would someone please give Mrs. Bumplestick some air, she seems to have gotten the vapors.

Anyway, LOR #4 came about when I was refueling my plane at an undisclosed desert kingdom somewhere in the Middle East, between the Arabian Gulf and the Red Sea. Let's call it "Not Bahrain but Close".

The refuel driver and his passenger "Joe Blow" pulled up to the aircraft. I set everything up and was about to send gas when the driver came up to me babbling about some shit.

"blah blah allah blah blah"

"Don't speak to me in your heathen tongue!" I proclaimed in the dramatic British accent I adopted when in the Kingdom, "Speak the King's English you nearly civilized Mohammedan! And be quick with it!"

Apparently, this guy understood English. And no, I didn't get the LOR for that. I got it for what happened afterwards.

So we're refueling and I'm walking around trying to keep myself awake when I notice the truck driver has disappeared.

"Anybody see where our fucking driver went?" I asked over the interphone. All replies were negative.

I walked over to the truck and peered into the cab to see "Joe Blow" earning his name with our truck driver. They say the brain is a lot like an electrical system and I guess my circuit breaker tripped. I stood there, dumbfounded. Intellectually, I knew that homosexual acts are legion in this part of the world. They don't go around saying, "Women are for marriage, men are for pleasure" for nothing, Timmy. Yet being presented with a living representation of a Greek vase portrait had the effect of stupefying me, until I quickly recovered and got the driver's attention.

"What are you doing?" I calmly asked the driver.

"blah, blah, bobbing, blah, for, blah, blah apples, blah"

I clicked the U-94 and spoke on the interphone, "Our driver's getting a blowjob from some dude right now."

"Is that against the checklist?" came the reply from upstairs. No, indeed it was not against the checklist. I don't know how, but the authors of the checklist forgot to put the injunction against BJ's in the book.

Unbeknownst to me, the co-pilot was upstairs listening to the interphone conversation over the PA. He didn't like my innocent inquiry regarding fellatio during refueling operations.

"This is Captain Air Force (not his real name), what are you talking about?"

"Uh, sir, our driver's getting his knob polished by his assistant." I answered.

"You will maintain interphone discipline." was the terse reply.

"But I'm telling the truth, sir. Our driver is, as we speak, getting a blow -hey, looks like his buddy finished. His head just popped up. I wonder if he spits or swallows..."

"Chief, I want to see your ass up here when we're through."

Okay, them's the breaks. I can accept that. As I was cleaning up the area, my panel operator came over the interphone and said, "I bet you a case his buddy swallows. Why don't you ask?"

"Okay"

As I was going over to the driver, the captain was coming down the ladder in time to see me making the International Blow Job Gesture to the driver and the driver responding by patting his tummy and smiling. Well, that didn't go over too well.

The Captain came storming over and began laying into me when the driver, pointing at his passenger and then at my Captain's crotch, began making the Internationally Recognized Blowjob signal with his free hand. My Captain, red-faced, looked at me and asked, "Did you tell his buddy to give me- ", he paused and said in a whisper, "a blowjob?"

"No sir, I asked if his buddy swallowed or not. I've got a case of beer riding on it. Though you should feel flattered, sir. I'm certain it's just not any infidel who gets asked." I replied.

"Now you listen to me you fucking airman! You will tell that man that I'm not interested in his offer!"

"But sir, I don't speak their language. And besides, you might insult them by refusing."

That's what got me my LOR.







Hilarious!
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:09:39 PM EDT
A Full Bird and a Light Colonel.....getting 6 LOC's, 2 LORS, and 1 MFR (Memo for record for future proof) yeah I had some......
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:12:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 82ndAbn:
LOL! When I was a Private E-nothing, still in training, I had a brain cramp and waved at a 1-Star instead of saluting.


I'm not up on military ediquette, but that's damn funny!

Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:17:14 PM EDT
Full Colonel. After the Sergeant Major got done with me.
I'd gone off on a blundering jackass of a Captain during a 2 week CAX after he once again fucked up our Logistics beyond all repair.
I was a Sergeant at the time, Arty HQ Btry Ops Plt Sgt, FDC Jump Team lead, and the Colonel's driver during same..

I was indeed insubordinate. The SarMajor gave the best clipboard-throwing performance you ever did see.
The Colonel did a recap. Then said 'off the record, Rayra, you were 100% right in your points. Capt X is getting shitcanned as soon as the CAX is over.'

My Pro & Con marks took a whole .5 hit for the period.

Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:20:14 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 82ndAbn:
LOL! When I was a Private E-nothing, still in training, I had a brain cramp and waved at a 1-Star instead of saluting.



One night at OCS....

after lights out, some candidate gets a brainfart and replies "Good night, Staff Sergeant" instead of "Good Evening".



Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:37:36 PM EDT
1.) I was getting my ass chewed by a Marine Colonel in Haiti for one reason or another (I'm no longer military, but a couple of years ago I would hve been intimidated.) When he was done with his tirade, I gave him a challenge coin, at which point he apoligized for yelling at me. I told him "Colonel, I've been yelled at by a 4 star general, I wasn't too worried." He got a kick out of it and laughed.

2.) I'm sitting outside the West Wing of the White House, waiting to pick up my protectee when SecDef Rumsfeld comes out. I'm sitting behind the driver looking outboard looking the SecDef straight in the eye. He makes a "shoo-shoo" motion at me, so I torn to the shiftleader and tell him the SecDef wants us to move. A second later I hear "Get the hell outa the way, you're blocking my car! At that moment my protectee comes out and gets into the limo, all while Rummy is standing there scowling at me. I smiled and gave him a little wave as we drove off.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 4:57:29 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 5:01:04 PM EDT by ChinoUSMC]
At the time, I was a Cpl. in the USMC. Incident took place in Summer of 2002.

Our squadron was training at an AFB (which I can't say where) to simulate friendly and enemy forces. The Sgt and I had to get something from a building across the other side of the base, during which I found a big security flaw that the Air Force had... (we also had foreign militaries on base and it was easy for them to have access to certain restricted areas). The Sgt and I were the only ones in the room. No one checked out IDs, challenged us, or even knew why we were there (among other things). After talking with the Sgt, he said for me to go ahead and report the flaw. By then, all the airforce personnel have already gone. I tried to find the next-in-charge. I ended up talking to an A.F. Capt. After I explained to him what happened (in a professional USMC manner at Parade Rest), he said he would take care of the situation.

The next day I will never forget. That Capt took my info up through his chain-of-command (up to the A.F. BGen)... (And the Capt said that I had intimitated him) and from the top of that, went over to my high-side chain-of-command, and it snow-balled all the way back down. I got the asschewing from hell for a good hour. I was chewed from my CO (LtCol.), XO (Maj., our security manager), my Officer-In-Charge (Maj.), my (1stLt), the SgtMaj, my Gunny, and three Sgts. The screaming that all of them did can be heard throughout the hanger. The Sgt that I was with got it worse than me. It helped a little that the other officers that overheard the screaming said that what I did was the right thing. But the payment for it really sucked... still for reasons that I don't know. It was never explained why I got the asschewing... My only guess??? Probably I didn't send it through my chain-of-command first.

As another gunny put it after the asschewing... "Good Initiative, Bad Judgement."

Afterwards, I was only confined to the Chowhall, the building I was working in, and my hotel room. I was not allowed access to anywhere else on the base. Who knew that you would be reprimanded for pointing out security flaws.

Semper Fi!
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:02:46 PM EDT
Base CG, Yuma.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:06:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/10/2005 5:07:28 PM EDT by ZitiForBreakfast]

Originally Posted By KA3B:
Captains Masts don't count, do they?

My only real ass chewing came from Master Chief Jack Cragen, a two tour Maintenance Master Chief with the Blue Angels. In between tours I was stationed with him at NAS Point Mugu when I was a young Airman.

Me and a buddy had the good fortune of getting caught by the Master Chief dropping oil and fuel soaked paper balls into the upward facing exhaust of a GTC85 huffer at night at the end of the flight line.

He unloaded on us and I think he used the word "fuck" more time in that 15 minute ass chewing than he did in the previous year.

It got to the point (to me anyways) where I started to laugh.
That pissed him off even more.

Me and my buddy ended up cleaning shitters for the next month, plus being Master Jacks personal shitty little jobs PO's.

I was later told by my division Chief that after the ass chewing was over Master Jack, my division Chief, the maintenance Chief, my division officer, my LPO and the assistant maintenance officer got together in the chiefs mess and laughed over my dumb-assed stunt for quite a while.




Here is a little ditty to remember. Our GTC's/ APU's were built into our plane.

"GTC, APU they both blow hot air at you"

or

"APU, GTC, they both blow hot air at me"

On the Herk's they are next to the #2 Motor, so most everyone stayed clear. And they whined pretty good when starting up..But we had the 85's on our F's and early R's.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:07:26 PM EDT
I got my ass chewed a year ago by our Capt. She is pretty hot, prior enlisted and let me have it pretty good. To tell you the truth I wasn't thinking about her looks at all, just trying to get out of her office!
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:11:03 PM EDT
This may or may not be BS but knowing the source I tend to believe it. My asst fire chief was in boot at the island telling me about a young know it all shooting an m-60 and was left unattended long enough that decided to really rock and roll, and apparently shot so much so quick it started cooking off rounds. My asst chief twisted the belt just in time for all 4 di's on the range to see it. They layed into him for he said about 10 minutes. All of them at once. then 3 of them walked off, the senior di quietly said "thank you" and walked to the kid that had caused the issue. He said after that day no one ever say him again.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:13:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 82ndAbn:
LOL! When I was a Private E-nothing, still in training, I had a brain cramp and waved at a 1-Star instead of saluting.





That's the funniest thing said. I have seen that several times. I was laughing so hard, it had me in tears.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:28:59 PM EDT
One time when I was in school, at 29 palms, I got stuck on a work detail, helping a chaplain out moving some furniture, stuff like that. The Chaplain was a Navy Captain, O-6 by the way. The Chaplain decided that we needed some things from a local hardware store, and needed me to help carry some stuff, so he and I got in his POV and went out in to the town of 29 palms to the hardware store.

The problem came, when I noticed that we were both in cammies. I was always taught that it was a mortal sin to be out in public in cammies. I was intimidated enough as a E-1 fresh out of bootcamp to be working around an 0-6 all day.

Anyways, we were in the hardware store, I was getting some stuff from the shelves, while the Chaplain was talking to one of the employees there. Then all of a sudden this CWO-2 in Charlies comes from nowhere, and started giving me the ass-chewing of a lifetime, for wearing cammies in public. I think I did learn some new colorful swear words, and I thought I was screwed.

Then the Chaplain walked up behind the Chief Warrant Officer, and asks if there is a problem. The CWO turned around, and the Chaplain told him that I was with him, and he looked at his collar on his own cammies, and told the CWO that he was pretty sure that his insignia beats a CWO insignia. Pwn3d

---------------------------------------

I also got a pretty good asschewing from my Gunny that ranks right up there, because I did not stop some underage drinking that was going on in the adjoining barracks room (we shared a head, but had seperate barracks rooms). I dont think he liked my attitude when I explained that my sleep was a helluva lot more important than those idiots and their bottle of cheap crappy rum.
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:29:17 PM EDT
Hmm lets see, mid deployement, over the hump party we finally get kegs of beer. I get assigned to meter out the 2 beer limit. one for me, one for you, one for me one for you, this went on till the beer was gone and so was I. I stumbled arouind through officers country, insulted a lt commander, pissed on the grass outside another officer's tent, and finally made it to my bunk at 4.00 am the next morning. An hour later at muster I get called out by the old man in front of the battalion to receive a commendation, after the picture taking someone tells him I was the one who caused all the shit during the night. I spent 3 hours getting reamed by every one in my chain of command and needless to say I had a lot of extra special training after that
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:35:52 PM EDT
First Shirt got me for drinking in a dorm during AIT (AF school)......I has to strip, wax, and buff alot of floors for that one.

I had another, Chief Msgt grabbed me by the collar and tryed to start hollering at me in front of a load of enlisted personel because I transported them through the woods to a site too fast.
It seems that since he was still drunk from the night before he wanted a smooth slow ride.
He was "scope dope" asshole even when sober and I got to push him off of me and say a few words.
Never saw him again.....
Link Posted: 8/10/2005 5:36:14 PM EDT
Rifle Range Camp Pendelton...Had a party in our squadbay complete with WM's from mainside
The next morning everyone was moving very slow. We picked up most of the trash, bottles, cans ect...Figured we could field day after shooting, No big deal........WRONG!!! The WO-4 in charge of the range, shut down the range. I mean shut it down and had everyone who was shooting come to the butts. There was an Admin Co.(WM's) and a MEU there quallifying. And of course Us 16 Sea Duty Devildogs...
On Top of the Target Shed stood the Gunner. And he was pissed. He went off on us(16) for like an hour...In front of all the other Marines. Yes we were the sorriest excusses for Marines there have ever been. Chesty would have us shot. We were all going to the brig. I must say I wanted to crawl under a rock. We(16) were kicked off the range until the barracks..."All the barracks"!!! passed his inspection. We were allowed back on the range on Quallifying Day I still shot expert, thank God I was able to set dope the first day It really sucked to have SuperMarine trash us in front of the other Marines. I believe the Gunner was the range record holder (63) untill it was broke recently.
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